Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Sometimes it Hurts to Love ❯ "Sometimes it Hurts to Love" ( Chapter 1 )

"Sometimes it Hurts to Love"

Alright! XlxSamaraxlX is back, with my second fic and first one-shot! ^_^ Well, here's the summary:

Summary: Ryou's carrying hidden feelings, but will it take a little rough- ness from Honda and caring from a blond to bring it out? ::yaio, RyouxJounouchi, one-shot::

Don't own Yu Gi Oh.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Jounouchi leaned back a little in his chair, he was supposed to be studying in the library but he really didn't feel like it. Silky hairs ruffled as he ran a few fingers through it.

On the other side of the room sat Bakura Ryou. His eyes scanning over each page like lightning and was so quiet that a mouse would startle him. He sighed slowly, knowing that his enjoyment would soon end and the nightmare would begin all over again.

The blond blinked a few times how interestiiii- "Itte!" he cried as he tipped backwards in his chair, crashing to the floor. Rubbing his back as he whimpered pitifully.

Ryou looked up and he heard his darker half laugh at the fool. Being the gentle angel that he is, Ryou went over and said, "Are you alright, Jounouchi-kun?"

He blinked as he felt that blush slowly crawl across his face. He nodded as he stumbled a bit before coming to a stand, hand behind his head as he laughed. "Y-yeah I'm okay, T-thanks Bakura-kun."

"Right, just try to be a bit more careful next time," he said eyeing the text books, "what are you studying?"

He looked to the books for a moment absently before he spoke, "Oh... Um... Biology..." He twined his fingers behind his back. "I'm not all that great at it..."

"Oh," he said, nodding, "do you need some help?" he said, taking a seat next to his friend. Setting his book bag aside, the silver haired youth smiled sweetly. It wasn't often when he got to help others.

"Uhh... sure..." He picked up his chair before he slipped down to sit. " Thanks, I've been having a bit of trouble..."

"It's no problem-" he began to say, but he was painfully reminded of why he was going to leave. His alter-ego was trying to get out, in the mood for running a box-cutter on his light's arm. Pain was what he wanted, even if he felt it indirectly. Ryou clutched his head and grabbed his bag.

"Ryou-chan...?" He spoke softly, as he tilted his head that way, golden eyes drifting to look to the other. "What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?"

"I-I gotta go-" he said. He looked into his friend's eyes and felt red streaks appearing on his pale cheeks.

He sighed nodding slowly, " I guess... I'll see you in class tomorrow, Kai, Bakura-kun?"

"No, w-wait, I'll b-b-be right back," he said and ran towards the bathroom. He took a seat in a stall and took out a knife. 'Here, other me,' he thought bitterly, 'make this fast.'

Jounouchi sighed again as he looked back down to his papers, slowly shuffling through them.

~ With Ryou ~

The pain that he felt was instantaneous! He cringed silently as his darker half ranked the blade downward and then to his utter disgust, Yami no Bakura licked the wound and Ryou could taste the metallic, crimson liquid, pour into his mouth and it felt as if his other half was enjoying and savoring the taste and not him.

Jounouchi worried about Ryou at times, he was so odd. He was always flaky, or angry or running off. Sweet kid, a little odd though. But, little did the blond know, was that his said friend, was in trouble.

Ryou cringed slightly as he gained control of his body once more. He slowly rolled down his sleeve and hoped that no one would notice the blood. If any one found out, they would get the school involved and basically make his life an even bigger Hell than in already was. He smiled and felt blush creep upon his cheeks once more.

Jounouchi waited but he wasn't sure if Ryou intended to show. As he would then pick his backpack up stuffing his books into it. Slowly giving one sad glance back, before he walked out of the library doors into the rain.

"Time to get back to Jounouchi-kun." he said to himself. As he walked out the stall, he felt himself in pain yet again. This time his culprit was Hitaro Honda.

"You little shit," he said, "stay away from my buddy, you little Homo fag." he said kicking at him again. "I see you, blushing, and always trying to be around him. Well, just fuck off."

Jounouchi on the other hand was walking down the street rain splashing against his jeans from the street. Hair dripping and body shivering.

Ryou lay moaning. His eyes squeezed shut as Honda picked him up by the hair and smashed his head into the wall. He proceeded in striking his head and then after twenty blows, he stopped. "There," he said, "now, just fuck off."

Bodice slipped a bit as Jounouchi sat down at the buss stop, finally out of the dripping water. He let out a gentle sigh.

It had been a few minutes since Honda had left. The youth was barely awake and was barely clinging onto conscience. Slowly he brought himself to his feet and began to walk outside, slowly bypassing Jounouchi's bus and falling into a slumber at the very spot.

Jounouchi blinked a few times as he dashed out from under the protection of the small roofing of the bus port. He grasped at Bakura. " `Kura-chan, `Kura-chan?! Are you okay?!"

He didn't respond.


He lifted the other gently as he ran along with the other in his arms towards the nearest hospital.

~ dream sequence ~

The dream started out like it usually did. Jounouchi on top of him, but not through intercourse. The other boy kissed his lover and they ran kisses through out eachother's bodies, exploring bare flesh.

~ outside world ~

"Jounouchi-kun...." he groaned.


The blond blinked at this said comment, " Don't worry, I'm getting you where as fast as I can.." He trembled softly before he gently handed the boy off once in the hospital.

"Jounouchi-kun...." he said again, moaning from both pain and pleasure of the dream. His eyes were closed shut and clear, hot streams of liquid ran down his cheeks. "Jounouchi...." he repeated.

The blond blinked a few times as he let out a gentle sigh. He grasped at the doctors, but he wasn't allowed to follow. So he waited in the waiting room, letting out a gentle sigh.

~ dream ~

Jounouchi was planting kisses down his neck and moaning in pleasure. Then he felt Jounouchi's light touch go away and he was alone, but not for long.

Jonouchi paced back and forth before he ran into one of the Doctors grasping at his coat and shaking him until he told the blond about the fate of his white haired friend.

~ dream ~

"So, Ryou, this is what you dream about," the youth turned around sharply to see none other than his other half.


"What do you mean?"

"You little fag, you know what I mean." he said, grinning. He pushed Ryou down and begun to unbutton his light's pants. The light's eyes widened.

"No.....not from you...."

Jounouchi yelled and fought (Almost getting himself arrested) before he got himself let into the room. He looked worriedly at the sleeping Ryou. Finger slipping into the others hand. " What happened to you....?" He asked the sleeping form worriedly.

~ the dream ~

Ryou lay on the floor, his innocence stolen. He panted and in both worlds he cried.

~ real world ~

Several tears rolled down his cheeks as he whispered: "Jounouchi-kun....Help me....."

He blinked a few times as he looked to the other with those wide eyes. He let out a gentle sigh, " Ryou-chan?" He shook the other gently " R-R-Ryou-chan, please..."

He cried softly, but did not wake, "Jounouchi-kun...."

"Ryou-chan?" He said again, as he shook the other a little harder now. " Please... Ryou-chan... I'm worried about... you... please....."

His eyes fluttered open a bit and he say two golden eyes at match with his, but before he continued on with his dream he said, "Jounouchi-kun....?" and was asleep yet again.

"Ryou-chan!" He gripped the others hand tighter, what was wrong? No one would tell him anything. He pulled over a seat resting his head gently on Ryou's hand.

~ dream ~

He was being beaten again. This time by Honda and Jounouchi. They both threw insults at him and left him there. Ryou stretched out his hand and went, "Jounouchi-kun, why…?"

~ real world ~

"Jounouchi-kun, why…?"

"What? What do you mean?" He blinked looking rather worried and lost.

"Why are you doing this to me, Jounouchi-kun....?" he said, tears flowing down his cheeks yet again. "Why…? Why…? Why…?" he shook violently and feel into total sleep.

The blond sighed again as he rested his head down on the hand a gentle sigh passing those pink lips.

He was tired of this. Yami no Bakura took control of his host.

He continued to sit there silently not noticing the other had opened his eyes seeing as the blond boy still had his eyes shut.

He was in utter disgust. The faggot, he was holding onto his hand. "Fuck off." he said, grabbing his hand away, "if you want to be gay, then do it somewhere else."

Jounouchi blinked sitting up, " What?" He looked miffed, " I was just worried about you is all!"

"Don't you mean worrying about my host?" he said, smirking.

Suddenly golden eyes narrowed, it wasn't Bakura. It was the other Bakura. He stepped back a little. " Leave him alone."

He let out a laugh, "'Leave him alone, leave him alone' is all I ever hear from you mortals. Why don't you try leaving him alone?" and thus beginning his false tale, "he doesn't like you. He doesn't like anyone for that matter."

"That's not true! He's long like you Ryou-chan has friends. Who he cares about, and we care about him!"

"Really?" he cocked an eyebrow and grinned some more, "he hates all of you. He even told me himself."

*Dark!....Stop it....* the light pleaded in his Kokoro. Eyes filled with tears.

Jounouchi frowned a little arms crossing a little worriedly. " That's not true...."

He let out another laugh, "Oh, but it is and he does. Do you wish to know why he hates?"

He blinked, " Why?" He couldn't believe Ryou would hate anyone, he was such a nice person....

"His father never home, Yuugi being so perfect," and he mentioned everyone, not making a single mistake as he told his false tale. "And you...."

"What about me?" He blinked a few times as he looked completely upset by this point of time.

*No, other me!....Please don't tell him.....*


"The little faggot likes you. And I don't mean in a friendship way, I mean he likes you.

Jounouchi blinked a few times staring with those wide golden eyes, swallowing hard as his fingers shook lightly.


'This is it,' Ryou thought bitterly, `he's going to hate me....'


"Disgusting, isn't it?"

"It doesn't matter..." Jounouchi spoke weakly. " It doesn't... keep him from being my friend..."

A look of utter disgust was upon his face, "Fine, have it your way. Oh, and you might want to know why my weaker half is here."

Jounouchi blinked a few times, " What happened to him?"

"Your friend, the big, stupid one got a hold of him."

"H-h-Honda?" It was hard to believe Honda would do something like this to little Bakura.

"Ah, there's his name! Honda didn't like the fact that my light was gay and much less liking you, so he knocked my light back to his senses. The little fag...."

Jounouchi growled softly. " Shut up you, I don't want to hear any more of your nonsense!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he said and disappeared back into the Ringu. The innocent youth now stood there, his usual pale cheeks now red and he turned away with shame. "Go away...."

"What did I do....?" he asked softly, confused. He looked rather pained at what had happened to his small friend.

Tears ran down Ryou's pale cheeks and he sunk down onto his knees. "I'm sorry, Jounouchi-kun...."


He sighed aodtly as he moved to the boy as he pulled him into a gentle hug. " You don't have anything to be sorry for...."

Ryou was confused, "W-what...?" he asked cutely.

"You didn't do anything wrong..."

He broke free of Jounouchi's embrace and turned around, looking more sad than angry, "I'm gay! Get it through your head, I'm gay! Don't you get it? I like you..."

He frowned a little. " I get it! GOD DAMMIT I GET IT! Do you want me to hate you for that?! Do you?! It doesn't matter to me! But If you want to be a God damned Martyr?!"

He looked hurt. That wasn't the response he anticipated on, "So...you don't care? You don't hate me.....?"

"Ryou, I wouldn't dammed hug you if I hated you. I wouldn't be here with you if I hated you. I wouldn't stayed up half the night to see if your okay if I hated you."

He looked shamelessly to the ground and then there was a crash! The door was busted open and he was yet again on he ground. Honda was back.

Jounouchi blinked in alarm before he grasped at Hondas arm. " Honda-kun knock the Hell off!"

Honda's attention was not on Jounouchi, it was on Ryou, "You little fag," he spat out, "I told you to leave my buddy alone, you little Homo!" he said, grinding the youth's face into the ground.

That was enough, Jounouchi may have been slightly smaller then Honda, but he was bigger then Ryou. And used to fights. Drawing back he jerked a fist forward into Honda's gut.

Honda didn't respond at first, not because of the blow, but because his own buddy had hit him and for him. He glanced haltingly at the both of them, "So," he said, "chose now, Jounouchi-kun. Me or him?"

"Honda-kun..." He stood there for a long moment, " Don't make me pick.... Hitaro please.. don't make me pick."

"So," he said, "you'd rather have your little boy friend than your life long buddy?" he let go of Ryou, "I see how it is."

The blond let out a light whimper. " I didn't say that, Honda-kun! I didn't! Why are you doing this to me?" He didn't want to have to pick....

"It's not you, it's-" he turned around, but to find no Ryou. Ryou had crawled off into a corner and was sitting there with a blank and dumbfounded expression on his face. Void.

He frowned a little, " Honda-kun, just 'cause he's gay doesn't mean he's any different then he was before."

Ryou sat there, still dumb founded. His eyes tracing back and fourth from each boy. Jounouchi didn't hate him? Was he defending him? He frowned when another thought crossed his mind, what if Jounouchi didn't like him back?

Jounouchi sighed, Honda was so hard to deal with some times. He ran a few fingers through that short but wild blond hair.

Ryou couldn't hear what either one of them were saying. Something about him. He yet again felt the shadows claiming his mind and he slowly fell back into slumber.

Jounouchi finally gave Honda a Shove, " Just go... Honda-kun... I don't want to see my friends fighting. So go....."

Honda looked ashamed of himself. "Yo, I'm sorry man, I don't know what got into me-glory! Look at Bakura!"

He blinked a few times head looking back over his shoulder to glance at Bakura.

~ the dream ~

Jounouchi was atop of him again as they kissed slowly. It was again and innocent dream and he felt happy, but some-what sad. Knowing that it was just a dream.

Jounouchi sighed, Bakura needed to lay down before he passed out again and ended up hurting himself. He moved closer to the other as he would then gently lift the other carrying him towards the hospital bed in the room.

"Jounouchi-chan....?" he said weakly, opening his eyes slightly, "thanks...." and so he fell back unconscience. Oblivious to the fact that Honda was there, he began to snuggle agenst the other boy.

Jounouchi's face pinked, but only faintly as he let out a long sigh, he wasn't sure what to do about Honda and Ryou (or his new found nick name, for a matter-of-fact).

Honda was in disgust, "Hey, man. Don't let him do that, people are staring...." he said. Ryou still content in the other's arms.

"I don't think anyone cares but you Honda-kun...."

Honda had enough, "I'm leavin', later, man." he said coldly as he walked out of the room.

Jounouchi's eyes fell, pain lurching his heart.

"Bakura-kun, are you okay?!" came the voices of Motto Yuugi and Anzu Makanzi. They stopped dead in their tracks at what they saw.

Jounouchi's head jerked up, face wickly flushed. " He's okay... I think... just hurt..."

Anzu felt odd in that sort of situation. There was two of her best friends, looking like....lovers....

He swallowed hard, how was he supposed to respond to people walking in on him like that. It made him look very, well, very gay. " Uh…"

"Um, Jounouchi-kun, what happened to Bakura-kun?" Yugi said, trying to ignore the position that those two were in.

"He got beat up... by Honda-kun..." He spoke softly, still surprised his best friend could have been so brutal.

"HONDA-KUN?!" they both shouted in utter disbelief.

"Yeah... Honda-kun... Hitaro Honda..." He muttered closing his eyes shaking his head.

"But why?" Anzu said. She couldn't believe it. Sure, Honda was an asshole, but what grudge would he hold agenst little Ryou? Little innocent Bakura?

He twitched a little not sure how to say this but then he decided. " I think Ryou-cha-kun would be better telling you..... I think he should."

"You mean....?"

"What?"

"Nothing." Yuugi shook his head no. He was out of his mind to assume that of Bakura. It wasn't right of him to think of that, but judging by the way he was snuggled agenst Jounouchi, he had to guess that.

"They should be able to let him out of here by tomorrow... I assume."

~ The next day ~

The silvery haired, angel awoke yet again to find himself still in the hospital. He heard breathing from behind him and felt arms wrapped around him. It was Jounouchi. He began to blush again and the other began to wake.

Jounouchi's eyes fluttered open, the blond had fallen asleep with the other. He groaned popping his back as he looked down to Bakura. " Morning...."

"M-m-morning....." Ryou blushed and was not sure if his friend had his arms wrapped around him. His cheeks went even brighter than before at the thought.

He yawned again, he wasn't ever really a morning person himself. He closed his eyes, " Gods I'm tired..."

He only nodded. He wanted this moment to last as long as it could before Jounouchi realized that they were so close. The 'awkward' position that they were in. "Yeah, same here." he said

"I need to get going soon 'Kura-cha-kun..." Jounouchi muttered softly gold eyes opening again. " My pops not going to be too happy with me..."

"Oh." he said, nodding again. He was daring today and rested his head agent the other and waited to see his reaction.

The blond looked down at the other with a gentle smile as he let out a slow sigh.

He was shocked that he wasn't angry, again; He felt daring, "What's wrong, Jou-chan?"

He blinked, Looking down at the other oddly for a moment before he spoke. " I'm going to be grounded for years."

"Oh," he said, sadly. "You should go then, before you get into any more trouble...."

He closed his eyes, " What's a couple more years?" He muttered leaning back.

"No, you should really go." he repeated. "You shouldn't get in trouble because of me..." and his eyes began to take on tears. 'Little me. Ugly, pathetic me. I don't deserve someone as wonderful, popular, and handsome as Jounouchi.....' he thought bitterly.

"You want me to go?" He asked absently still not opening those bright golden eyes.


"No! But...."

"Then I'll stay..." He grumbled giving the other a light squeeze which was accompanied by a soft yawn.

Ryou found himself blushing more and more. "Can I ask you a question, Jou- chan?"

"Go ahead, ask away."

"Why are you here?"

"Because I was worried about you, 'Kura-cha-kun-kun-kun."

He nodded, "Um, you know that you're holding me, ne?" he said, knowing that he would regret it. He would surely pull away and he'd never be in his arms again...

"Yeah, I know.... why?" He said softly, so what? Bakura was his friend, and seemed to be clingy last night.

He didn't respond.

"If it bothers you... I'll stop. 'Kura-`kun'."

"No, don't-I mean...."

He chuckled softly, It was kinda cute... but only n a friend way... yeah... only in a friend way... or so he told himself.

"What's so funny, Jou-chan?"

"Nothing... nothing at all"

"I don't mean to question you, but that nothing, sounds like something." he said, shocked at his own bravery. What had gotten into him lately?

"Oh... well... um... " He looked a little uncomfortable. " It was just.. your reaction... it was kinda funny... is all."

"What? Oro?" he asked cutely.

"Just how you seemed so embaressed it was cute." He spoke without thinking before he blushed faintly hiding his cheeks behind his hair by bowing his head.

Ryou felt himself blush also and saw the other boy's reaction and that only made him blush more. With out thinking, Ryou turned around and slowly tilted his head towards his and their lips met.

Jounouchi's face turned a deep, deep red as lips met his own, but he gently wrapped an arm around the smaller boy holding him close.

Ryou couldn't believe this. Jounouchi was actually kissing him back. He wasn't disgusted or anything, but....somehow it just felt dirty and wrong, so he pulled back

He blinked a few times confused as he watched the other, " Did I do something wrong...?" He'd never really... he didn't know....

Ryou got up, "I-I'm sorry...I don't know what came over me...I'm-I'm-" the youth was rambling on and on about something, slurring his words together as he tried to explain how he felt. "Sorry..." he said, bowing.

"Its okay, `Kura-chan... I... I..... um....." He didn't know what to say either really.

Ryou sank to his knees, a tear coming down again. He didn't know why he was crying, half of the time there was no reason, but tears were still there. He buried his face into his hands.

"Ryou-chan, what's wrong?" He slowly moved from the bed to cradle the other, smiling gently as he would then kiss over the others cheeks comfortingly.

The youth did not respond. Instead, he buried his face into the other's shirt. "I love you....." he said lightly, hoping that he did not hear what he had just said.

The blond dropped too, stunned this time. Bakura loved him? His father didn't even love him but Bakura Ryou loved him? Gods, he felt his jaw drop.

Ryou felt more embaressed than before. Oh God, he had heard him and now he knew what was coming next. He's loved Jounouchi since before Duelist Kingdom, Battle City. It all started out with just a crush, but now that he got to know Jounouchi, he had fallen in love with him, without knowing until now

"I-I-I.... I never knew- `Kura-chan- I had... N-o..... Idea.." He slowly moved towards the other with a small confused look on his face.

"It's true....." he said softly, ".....I'm sorry....I-I never should have told you...." he backed away, his face hung over in shame. Guilt.


What is this emotion? Burning deep inside? Hatred? Guilt?....Love.....?

He sighed as he moved closer to hold the other gently as he had before, " Don't be.. ...I'm glad you did... I am... don't ever be ashamed of your feelings Bakura Ryou."

What is this emotion? Consuming. Controlling. Is this real? Is this some sick joke? Some twisted dream? The pain was real enough, was this reality.....?

Jounouchi sighed resting his head atop the others those bright eyes slowly shutting.

He fought back tears. It was so wrong, but so right. Before their lips met he finally asked, "Jou-chan, do you love me?"

Jounouchi smiled softly, pulling the other in for a kiss," Of course I do."

And with that final comment, the blond brushed away strands of hair, from the other's face, and captured his lips (as he had done his own). This time, he knew what to expect afterwards.

..........................................

Yo u people have no bloody idea, of how long it took me to write this…O_o;;…I know: It was bad u.u, but that doesn't mean that you can't still R&R! **eyes readers hopefully**