Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Ways to Drive an Esper Psycho ❯ Can Duel Monsters have yamis? Can Duel Monsters have somewhat homicidal knights for yamis? ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

AUTHOR'S NOTES: O_O Thank you for the reviews!
JaguarKitty2006: You'll review every chapter? Thanks a million! And no, I'm not being sarcastic.
Alex Warlorn: Your commentary is appreciated. However, don't you think Yugi would be disqualified for using a tampered card, even if he hadn't done the tampering? And Hikari doesn't think of the un-nice dragons. Would you present serial killers and arsonists as representatives of the human race? Also, in this fic Lord of Dragons doesn't have any authority over the dragons, and do you really think Haku would think of Sapphire as a Toon?

Disclaimer: The day I own Yu-Gi-Oh! is the day Rex is chosen by the Millennium Scales and sends Weevil to the Shadow Realm. *Hikari, Michael, and several of Rex's monsters cheer in the background* No, that DIDN'T HAPPEN! *groans from the same* I do, however, own a deck made up of bits and pieces of both starter decks and several booster packs, which I used to kick my sister's you-know-what in both non-tribute and tribute duels. Serpent Night Dragon was not included, the reason being I've just found out my card's a fake. *cries*

Warning: This chapter makes liberal use of the angst category, not to mention a probably-really-bad metaphor. There's probably not much humor in this chapter, unless you have a different definition of humor. I'm probably stretching the definition of PG-13 somewhere in here. Also, there is yaoi. There will be yaoi all through this story. And, in case you're wondering, there will be a business relationship between Yami Bakura and a Duel Monster. I think that's it.

"Cassiel," said Aaron, "I have long suspected that you have no sense of humor. Now I know you have no sense of humor."
"I do have one," said Cassiel. "I just don't think scaring Master counts as humor."
"Therein lies the problem. If you don't think that's funny, then nothing could possibly be funny to you."
"If you think deliberately frightening people by turning your staff into a snake is funny-"
"Oh, not people in general. Just him, that's all." Aaron leaned against the wall and regarded him with a condescending expression, like he had Before, when he was thirteen and Cassiel was ten. Cassiel had lost count of the times he had worked out a design involving chain reactions of spells or such, and Aaron had had the satisfaction of informing his "stupid younger brother" that he had worked out the same relationships a long time before. He never seemed to do this with Gabriel or Miriam- then again, Miriam was only around six then. And Gabriel was their cousin. Cousins worked different. "Our Master the masked maniac."
"That's no way to speak of him! As I recall, you were the one who spoke to Gabriel's Master. You were free with your insults then, but you weren't that way to Master!"
Aaron seized Cassiel's shoulders and yanked him close. "That was before, you fool! Did you really think I would have used my big mouth like that, gone on about not being worthy of having Gabriel, if I had known what he was going to do to you? Do you think I would've grinned like that if I'dve known? You're the one he used that soul spell on, not me! And now you go on about our duty to our so-called Master like you completely forgot the entire thing ever happened! Like you're still afraid of him! You are such a - such a whimpering dog!"
The room was quiet for what couldn't have been more than ten seconds before Aaron spoke again, quieter now. "So. I understand you went to see Miriam. How's our little sister these days?"
Cassiel told him. Then they prepared meals for the evening, one for Cassiel and one for Aaron and one for Him (Cassiel brought in the latter, apologizing at the same time for Aaron's prank. His only response was a blank stare). As they ate, they talked almost brainlessly, about magic theories they both knew full well about, anything to avoid the subject that was taboo for the night. And that night Cassiel had troubling dreams again.

The banging subsided after a while, and after that Yugi arrived, tactfully not mentioning Mr. Wheeler's slumber on the lawn. Nobody needed to ask what he had come for. They had a conversation over Curse of Dragon's stunts that day, and there were several laughs, but in the end it came up.
"Bye, Joey," said Black Jade, then surged forward and hugged him even harder than he had done at school. For a moment Joey wanted to pull away, but their faces drew closer and he found that he didn't want to. Then all at once the distance between their faces was nonexistent.
Not on the mouth-it was just short of it. Then Joey, following instinct, took his turn. Somehow his arms had moved above Jade's, and he smiled as he remembered a dream he had had in Duelist Kingdom.
"Gigantic doughnut," he whispered against Jade's skin.
Then the magic faded and they were left standing there in the middle of the Wheeler living room, more aware than was comfortable of their surroundings. Nobody's jaw had dropped, but the size of Yugi and Geoffrey's eyes more than made up for that. Sandy just smiled knowingly.
The goodbyes were much more awkward than they could have been otherwise, and after Yugi and Jade had gone Joey actually sat and watched C-Span with Sandy, and it was an hour before the boredom penetrated and he fell asleep.

Dar threw his arms into the air and sighed with the air of a martyr. "I try and do a good deed, and this is what I get? The third degree?"
"You think you're so much better than us?" Esper folded his arms and tried to look intimidating. He only looked very angry, which he was. "You think you can just go buy them things and then feel so superior about it later? You think you can go tell yourself you helped someone? Well, guess what?"
"What, Jinzo came back?"
"We don't need any help! Especially not from the likes of you! Never do something like that ever again! Do you understand?"
"Did you just tell me to be mean to your brothers?"
"I did not! I said to not take them to- to-" Open mouth. Insert foot. "It doesn't matter!" Esper grabbed his deck and shuffled through the cards until he shouted in triumph and held one high in the air. "I wish you'd get back in there! And stay in there! For the next century!"
The only sound was the laughter of Esper's brothers in the main room as Mai Valentine showed them card tricks.
Dar shut his eyes and waited for the time when he would open them and they might as well be closed, wishing that his last sight was Rex's astonished expression when he saw what happened when he wished Duel Monsters back to the cards. It had been necessary- Rex's father was approaching and it would have been very hard to explain a Serpent Night Dragon curled around the room.
He waited a long time, then opened his eyes to see Esper Roba lowering the card, eyes wide. Dar could have drawn parallels between his expression and the expression Rex had had, but he did his best not to. "So, cheater," he said, taking as his model the devil-may-care speech of Black Jade, "Things didn't go according to plan this time?"

"Hello, Bakura."
"Yugi, the spirit of the Ring would like to speak to Hikari Kenshin."
A horde of elephants could have stampeded through the Game Shop while Yugi was processing this information and/or conferring with Yami and it only would have induced a blink. Then the Puzzle glowed. Yami crossed his arms and glared at Ryou. "Why does the Tomb Robber want to speak to Curse of Dragon?"
Yugi quickly grabbed control again. "What he means," he said, "is that Curse of Dragon is… grounded, I guess."
"Grounded? Oh my. But wasn't it-" It would have taken a successive charge of hordes of elephants and zombies to snap Ryou Bakura out of his trance this time. "-awfully sorry, I mean she, wasn't she already grounded, so to speak, for thousands of years? Isn't it awfully harsh to add on even more time?"
"Yeah, I know, but you see, she made this big scene at school-" Yugi paused for Ryou to finish yet another mental conference.
"Oh my. She was the girl with the odd whistle who made insulting gestures to Weevil Underwood this morning?"
Yugi sighed. "Yes, that would be Hikari."
"All right then, when will she be available again?"
Yami's voice and Yami's words came this time. "First answer my question!"
Now it was the Ring's turn to glow. "Well," said Yami Bakura, "according to the visions I coaxed out of Miss Ishtar, Hikari and I go back a long way. It's not the sort of thing you find in the ancient scriptures. I knew it was Hikari making the sandwich delivery, but-"
"Sandwich delivery? What sandwich delivery?"
Yami Bakura sighed and spoke slowly, as if to a very small child. "A certain personage who I will not name sent the Lady of Faith to the hospital today with a, as he calls it, 'get-well present' for Maximilian Pegasus."
"He's alive?"
"Very much so. Lady of Faith informed us she had an encounter with three dragons in human form in the hospital waiting room. One male and two females, one of the females being Hikari. The male asked her to give her present to Pegasus first, as he said his companions might be giving Pegasus sandwiches." Yami Bakura paused at this point to let out a shriek of laughter that made the King of Games jump a full six inches. "I do not claim to be an expert on modern language, but I do know some terms. And I expect the delivery of Pegasus's sandwiches was exceedingly painful. For him, that is."
Yami shrugged. "Ah well. I suppose she was justified in that, considering the way Relinquished works." Then, as if to prove that there was no way he was conceding to a tomb robber, he added, "But that doesn't mean I'll allow you to-"
"Relax, Pharaoh, I'm not asking to intrude into your domicile." Yami Bakura flapped a hand. "I just want a message sent to her saying that Bakenrenef is here. That was my name, apparently. At least I think that's what Miss Ishtar said my name was, before she fled. Did she think I would stab her with the pointers of the Ring?"
"Yes," said Yami. "I think, considering your reputation, that she thought that."
"Oh, and my second order of business." He dug around in a pocket, and a folded paper emerged. He stuck it out to Yami. "The Lady of Faith, also known as Lady Elaine if that rings any bells, has a declaration of undying love for one Michael Gaia. I assume even one of your intelligence would be able to deduce his identity."
Yami took the paper gingerly, as if fearing an explosion or sudden transportation to the Shadow Realm. "I can manage that."
"You'd better," and with that he left the shop, though Yugi could still see him loitering outside.
"Well?" called Hikari. "Bakenrenef's here? I'm surprised you didn't throw him out."
"Be silent," Yami yelled back. "You're still under punishment."
"You're just jealous because you didn't get to do it."
Yami had no reply to that. Partly because most of his brain's resources were trying to figure out how Curse of Dragon had gotten out of the Shadow Realm. While he was getting there, a certain misnamed dragon literally flew down the stairs and out the door, leaving Yami to gape after her.
"Yugi…?" he muttered. Then, "You didn't! Oh, all right. Just don't let it happen again." He sighed and headed for the stairs. "Gaia? You have a message! And I need to ask you something-"

Haku heard the scream and promptly ran from the room containing Jane to the room full of still more electronic devices, one of them being a television. In front of the television was a long couch. Seated on the couch was Mokuba Kaiba, who silently indicated the area under the couch.
Haku knelt and tilted his head. "Sapphire?" he called. "Are you in there?" But of course he was.
"Is it gone?"
Haku lifted his head and looked to Mokuba for clarification. Mokuba sighed. "We were watching and then the Trix commercial came on-"
"Trix commercial?"
Mokuba indicated the television. "Here it is again."
Before the Trix commercial was over and before Chihiro and Ryuunosuke entered Haku had joined Sapphire under the couch.

After being assured by both Mokuba and her own eyes that her brothers were in no danger, just scared silly, Chihiro returned to the jigsaw puzzle Mokuba had supplied her with. All but one of the pieces was pure white, with no variation whatsoever besides the shape of the pieces; the exception, a corner piece, had on it one strawberry.
"Seto doesn't like most of the puzzles around," Mokuba had said as he held out the box. "Most of them are too easy. He says you shouldn't feel good about something unless you've really earned it. It took me a month to finish, but when I did he got me ice cream. D'you want to give it a try?"
Chihiro picked up another piece at random and attempted it to fit it with each of the collections of fitting pieces she had found by luck. None of them worked, so she started on the free pieces.
"Lady Chihiro?"
She looked up. "For the last time, Ryuunosuke, don't call me Lady." They both knew it wasn't for the last time.
"Should I assist you?"
"No, I'm fine. Go away."
He nodded and left the room. Chihiro looked after him, remembering his worshipful expression whenever they happened to make eye contact. His feelings regarding her were painfully obvious, and she only wished those feelings were mutual. But they weren't.
The world would be so much simpler if everyone had a piece of a two-piece puzzle, and if one piece fit the other they both fit, and if everyone found the other half of their puzzle. No false hopes or dreams, and no painful breakups as were so often delineated in the stories she had discovered while using Jane. The world would be so much easier, if only.
If only all you had to do was deserve something enough and that would be enough to do whatever you wished. If only wanting alone could get someone somewhere. The world would work so much more smoothly, if only.
"If only" wasn't the same thing as "is." Her brothers could hardly stand to look at anything remotely resembling those Toons, as the incident in the entertainment room proved. Sapphire had forbidden himself to associate with his best friend, Alexander, ever since the rivalry between their Masters became apparent. Haku had never been especially close to Black Jade, but still it made Chihiro wince to hear him do his best to imitate their Master's contempt for Jade's Master (she had heard that Jade had changed Masters, but the information was unconfirmed. She wished he had; maybe then Haku wouldn't feel obliged to do it anymore).
And her second-youngest brother -
She tried not to think about it. Ever since it had happened they had all done their best to forget about it, to always talk around the subject of Jewel, to never drag the hideous truth out where they had to look at it and acknowledge it.
Their Master who was always supposed to know what was best had deliberately destroyed Jewel's card!
It would have hurt less to look at it, to think about it, if only Seto Kaiba had believed, had wanted, had made the wish. That would have been proof that Jewel hadn't gone to receive nothing in return.
Seto Kaiba hadn't made the wish. Mokuba Kaiba had made the wish.
Two pieces slid into place; she picked up another one and began to repeat the process.
If he does make the wish we'll be seeing Obelisk the Tormentor next. I just know it.
Once, when she was discussing something with Gabriel (it was a time before their Master discovered Jewel's location and things got ugly, when Sandy and Sapphire were openly friends), she had compared life to a puzzle, where your goal was to put all the pieces together in their proper places, and then you would be happy. Gabriel had appreciated the metaphor very, very much.
But now Chihiro was trying to put together her "life puzzle" and there were pieces snapped in two, pieces worn so that they no longer fit properly, pieces that simply weren't there.

Fluffy said, "I think I remember she was a contraband dealer or something. Extra food. Special cloth. Things like that. When they decided to confiscate most all the gold-"
Yami raised an eyebrow. "What for?"
"For you, who else could it be for? Before they came around she got most of it together and gave it to someone on the outside."
Tani nodded. "She made notes about who had the gold so she could pay them back later- she got me to help her with them. They found the notes, and at first they thought they could find out everyone who broke the rules, but nobody but us could read them. And she wouldn't talk."
A nod. "I punished her, I suppose?"
"Yeah, I remember now, ya punished her by havin' Mikey ride her. I think it was kinda a punishment for Mikey, too, 'cause he bad-mouthed your gods. He thought there was only one."
Another nod as he looked over at Black Jade, reclining on the bed. "Now I understand how such clearly incompatible personages could ever be in a fusion."
"It's not really a fusion," said Jade. "Not like when me an' Fluffy fusion, anyway. It's more like the horse disappears and Mikey sits on top of Kari, an' the numbers go up. Nothin' else to it."

"Shut up," said Esper Roba, staring from the card to Dar as if the law of gravity had been declared invalid. His eyes returned to the card and he continued to stare at it, as if thinking that all of a sudden the picture would reappear.
Dar, for his part, was trying just as hard to figure out the implications of what had just happened. He knew perfectly well what had happened: Esper had attempted to recall him to the card and the attempt had failed. The question was why did it fail?
Maybe the human form had something to do with it? He dismissed that possibility immediately. Among the experiments they'd conducted ("My science teacher would blow a blood vessel if he saw this," Rex had laughed) were ones in which Ran and Sora and he had switched to human forms and Rex had attempted to call them back in. It had worked every time.
Dar went on to other possibilities. Foremost among them was the honorable-win issue. The duel that had resulted in his card changing hands was nothing if not dishonorable. He refused to consider Esper Roba his Master, while he had never questioned Rex's authority (unlike, say, the way Job regarded Mai Valentine). Perhaps that had had something to do with it.
Or maybe…
The first night. Rex's parents had denied permission for them to stay for the night, since Rex had school in the morning. Rex had held up the card and asked them to go back. Dar hadn't wanted to go back; Rex hadn't wanted them to go back.
Nothing had happened.
They spent the night jammed under Rex's bed; Dar had exercised his shape-changing ability to its fullest extent so as to avoid being suffocated by Ran and Sora. All because none of them had really wanted to go back.
No. That couldn't be it. Esper Roba wanted him gone; Dar had the crazy theory that he was actually jealous. Surely Esper wanted him gone. Surely…
The door opened and Mai tipped her head into the room. "Excuse me, but, Roba, are you done chewing him out for whatever he did yet? I've pretty much run through my repertoire. Now it's your turn to show me some of yours."
Right around then Dar had a strong urge, one that blinded and deafened, to reach out and take Esper Roba's neck and-

Mai Valentine's first instinct was to exit the bedroom (there were blankets on the floor, anyway) screaming. She rode out the figurative storm, however, and instead followed her second instinct, staring in sick fascination as the one the Harpy Ladies had informed her was actually Serpent Night Dragon advanced on Esper Roba with a distinctly homicidal look in his eyes.
His eyes- they had changed. Before this she was sure they were dark blood, like on the card and at Duelist Kingdom, like Helen had described. Kinda like the baddie's eyes sometimes were in kid's shows. She could see how this Dar person ("or was it Dan?" Helen had said. "Oh well. Doesn't matter") could be Serpent Night Dragon. He felt like Serpent Night Dragon. In fact, he reminded her of Rex Raptor- he had the same kind of aplomb. She couldn't see any resemblance to Job DelaSangre. He didn't have the same kinky cute-ness. Then again, he wasn't wearing that collar.
But he didn't have Job's eyes. Or his hair.
Anyway, he didn't look like that now. The eyes weren't even the same color. They were now a bright cerulean blue, like Kaiba's almost. And they. Weren't. Right.
Esper's eyes widened. "Hey, what the- stay back! Stay back!" He at least had enough sense to not assume that statement would be obeyed and/or edge backwards until he was cornered, as happened in movies. Instead, he edged sideways, towards the door.
Serpent Night Dragon came even closer…
… then seemed to change his mind in mid-step and staggered backward, arms twin windmills. Mai didn't dare to blink as cerulean changed to purple like Yugi's, like her own, and then to the original red as he regained his balance.
Esper sprang for the door and shoved past her. Like an idiot, she continued to stand and stare.
He saw her. How could he not?
"You're… Helen's Master, right?"
Mai had heard somewhere that you should always answer the questions of a psycho. "As in the Harpy Lady? Yes…" Then she recalled her encounters with Rex Raptor and seriously considered joining Esper Roba.
"Oh. Excuse me, please."
She stepped aside as he rushed out, only then getting it through her brain that even though he didn't have a knife or a gun, dragons weren't known for being kind and gentle. A door slammed as she hastily departed the room to confirm the continued survival of the members of the Roba family.
They were all there, even the baby. Mai looked to the bathroom door. It was closed.

"We'll be fine," Esper assured her. She left, obviously unconvinced. Why would she be convinced? It wasn't true.
"Esper," said Charlie, "the teacher said I have to get this signed. Danny's says so too."
"Okay." Esper looked over the grades- all As and Bs, except for Charlie's C in math. He pulled out a pen and did the signatures very quickly- he could practically do it in his sleep by now. Of course, the resulting "Zachary Roba" looked nothing like the "Zachary Roba" he wrote on his own homework.
Charlie and Danny had long ago gotten over any moral qualms. After all, their father was unavailable, and, as Esper, pointed out, the teachers called him Zachary Roba. So he wasn't lying, exactly. "Thanks, Esper! Are you sure you don't want the burger?"
"Yes," Esper didn't say.
"Actually… oh, all right."
He ate it third by third while looking up the solutions to the crossword puzzle he had been working on Sunday night. Sure enough, a four-letter word for donkey was Roba. He considered apologizing, but the bathroom door was locked and he didn't feel like apologizing to someone who had just been about to kill him.

Dar threw up into the toilet, flushing before he could look at the contents. No sooner was this accomplished than he started again.
"He was the evil one, not me," he muttered in a clear moment. "Not me. Do I eat humans? No. Do I kill humans? No. Do I look down on humanity in general? No, I do not. And I did not break Esper Roba's neck back there. I did not."
But you almost did.
"Shut up." The clear was over, and by now most of the contents of his stomach had been expelled.
No. I have shut up for over a thousand years. Now it is your turn to shut up.
Some liquid that wasn't spit or blood proper was streaming into the toilet. He straightened up after a while and wiped his mouth on one sleeve.
Nothing can be hidden forever. If you took a stone and buried it, sooner or later someone would dig it up. If you threw a jewel into a river, a fish would swallow it, and then be caught, and it would be rediscovered. If you usurp a body, sooner or later the soul will come back.
Dar made fists as he continued to stare at the space above the bathroom counter, the place where a mirror would go in the Raptor house. But this wasn't the Raptor house. Even if it was, it would make no difference. He knew what he would see.
Rest assured, I won't evict you. You've apparently taken good care of my property, and I'm sure I owe you something for that. But this is I. Even you are I. And don't you forget it. Now- what to kill-? How about him? You don't have any reason to care for him, do you? Didn't he cheat? Nobody worthwhile would miss him.
You. Are. Not. Laying. One. Finger. On. Him.
Would you rather I make you fly south?
You can't!
Oh yes I can. I'll learn the mysteries of the dragons, soon enough. Would you prefer I take a knife- I'll find one somewhere- and pay Rex Raptor a little visit?
Dar felt himself changing to his natural form, only this time he didn't have any say in the matter- and all of a sudden he did have a say.
The now unnecessary human clothes fell to the floor. Dar stretched out beside them.
Well? Start learning the mysteries, then.
Why you- change back right now!
No, I like it this way.
I'll make you do it then!
At that moment, right when Dar was resigning himself to day after day of irritation until the inevitable cracking, one of the most unlikely saviors in the world happened along.
Dar reached out one claw onto the ant. It never knew what hit it.
There. The insect is smashed. It is dead. It is killed. Now are you happy?