Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Witch Hunter Robin Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ The Gohan and Fred Show ❯ The Stunningly Beautiful Third Chapter ( Chapter 3 )

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The Gohan and Fred Show

Episode 3

Gohan: Welcome, once again to the Gohan..

Fred: And Fred..

Gohan: Show.

Kevin: When do I get to put my name in the title?

Gohan: Never. Cause then no one would watch.

Kevin: Bastard.

Gohan: Whatever. Just tell us what we have in store for today's show.

Kevin: Fine. But I don't know if you'll even like it. (hands Gohan the card)

Gohan: (reading the card over) What do you mean I won't like this? This doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Kevin: Well, it's just that we all know how gay you are.

Gohan: You son of a bitch.

Fred: Shut up and let me see the card. (Gohan hands the card to Fred)

Kevin: You can read too?

Fred: At a college level. Not too shabby for a monkey only two years old. (reads the card) I don't get it. Why are we bringing them on?

Kevin: Cause sex sells.

Fred: Right.

Gohan: Well, getting back to the show. Our guests tonight are out on a new DVD: Girls Gone Wild: Sailor Scouts Uninhibited. Please welcome, the Sailor Scouts. (Serena, Amy, Raye, Lita, Mina, and Rini all walk out from behind the curtain.)

Serena: Hello boys.

Raye: Hey, is that a monkey? (points to Fred)

Fred: I don't see a mirror around here so you must be talking to me.

Raye: Hey, that wasn't nice.

Amy: Since when can monkeys talk? I've never read anything about that.

Fred: I am no average monkey. I am Oozakbu, the god of donuts, pies, and other pastries.

Rini: And he's so cute. (Rini starts rubbing Fred's chin)

Fred: Ooh, that feels so good. To the left a bit. Yeah right there.

Kevin: (leaning in to Gohan) I told you he was a chick magnet.

Gohan: Who would have thought?

Kevin: So ladies, let's talk about this DVD. (holds up the GGW box)

Serena: What movie?

Lita: Oh no, they actually published that?

Kevin: Of course. People just don't tape girls and not show their friends.

Mina: But they said they wouldn't show anyone.

Gohan: They're men. They never mean what they say.

Kevin: Nope. We never do.

Serena: I'm confused. What is everyone talk about?

Lita: This is all your fault.

Serena: Huh?

Raye: You stupid meatball head, don't you even remember?

Serena: Remember what?

All the other Sailor Scouts: SPRING BREAK!!!

Serena: Oh. No, man. I was trashed like all week.

Kevin: Not that I'm complaining or anything, but how did you all get hold of liquor. You're all under age. (turns to Rini) And you don't even look 21.

Serena: It wasn't that hard. Just find a bum, give him some money, and tell him to buy you beer. Works like a charm.

Kevin: And how convenient is it that GGW was there?

Mina: Lita was right, this is all your fault, Serena.

Serena: Oh lighten up. Personally, I think it was Amy's fault.

Amy: WHAT???

Serena: Yeah. If you weren't studying all the time, I wouldn't have gotten the idea to try to loosen you up with a little alcohol.

Rini: But it was your stupid idea in the first place that got us in to all this trouble.

Kevin: Well, we can't really argue about the past, we can only enjoy the future.

Gohan: You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Kevin: Of course. Alcohol and nudity are two of my favorite things.

Rini: Never chug vodka. It burns all the way down.

Kevin: Tell me about it. (they slap hands) Way to take the hard stuff.

Raye: Will you shut up? This isn't a good thing. Our futures have been ruined by this event. None of us will gain back the respect we once had.

Lita: Yeah. This is worse than the Paris Hilton scandal.

Kevin: No. This is tons better. Night vision just doesn't do porn justice. See? (he shows a clip of the Paris Hilton tape)

Fred: I thought you couldn't download that.

Kevin: That's the miracle of file sharing.

Gohan: I just have to say that this is an embarrassment to entertainment.

Kevin: What? Have you seen the video?

Gohan: No.

Kevin: Hm.. well let's go to a clip. (shows various clips of the Sailor Scouts flashing the camera and engaging in lesbian erotic acts)

Gohan: WOW!! That was awesome!

Mina: No it wasn't. It was embarrassing. If I would have known I would have been doing that, I would have shaved. (everyone gives her a strange look) My legs, I mean.

Lita: I just want to know what kind of people would do this to us.

Fred: What I want to know is why they would do it to you girls? I mean, aren't you all a little young to be doing porn.

Kevin: First off, it's not porn, technically. See. (shows another clip) No insertion. And secondly, I think we all know that GGW has no problem showing under age girls baring their naked flesh for the world and their parent's to see.

Raye: I just want to die now. We'll never be able to fight crime again.

Serena: What do you mean? No one knows who we are when we're in our costumes.

Amy: Are you kidding? Superman had a better disguise than we do. He at least had the glasses to put on. We don't even get that.

Lita: Plus, it was pretty obvious from the start.

Rini: Why does everyone think this was bad? I thought it was fun.

Mina: That's cause you're a slut. Just like your mom.

Rini: Don't be talkin' about my momma.

Serena: Yeah, leave me out of this. She slutty on her own accord.

Rini: You bitch!

Serena: Quiet. I'm tired of listening to you talk.

Rini: Because I'm prettier than you ever will be?

Serena: No, cause you're an annoying little shit.

Fred: Don't speak to my woman like that. (Fred jumps out of his seat and attacks Serena. And with that a fight erupts amongst the Sailor Scouts.)

Gohan: Uh... maybe we should end the show.

Kevin: Shhh... I'm loving this. CAT FIGHT!! CAT FIGHT!!

Gohan: Man, I'm speechless.

Kevin: Fine, you make sure the camera man gets all of this, and I'll end the show. (turns toward another camera) Girls. Do you now see the damage that alcohol can do? It makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do. Like show your boobs. Or kiss another girl. Or sleep with ugly guys. That's why I implore you to drink more alcohol. It's funner than you think. Oh, the things you can do. It's insane. Plus, you won't remember most of it. And that always gives you deniability. Unless someone with a camera comes along. But drink more alcohol. For my sake.

Gohan: (as the cameras are going off) You really are the antichrist, you know that?

Okay, review. Do it now. Or later. But just do it.