Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Witch Hunter Robin Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ The Gohan and Fred Show ❯ The Hetrosexually Challenged Thirteenth Chapter ( Chapter 13 )

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The Gohan and Fred Show (episode 13)

Gohan: Hello and welcome to the Gohan...

Fred: And Fred...

Gohan: Show. As usual, Kevin is here. And I have a question. Did we even solve anything from the last episode?

Kevin: Not quite. The whole point of the last episode was to show people that brothers hate each other. I'm pretty sure that's the reason why there are wars today. Because, a long time ago, two brothers started fighting over land.

Gohan: It's just that the episode seemed so pointless.

Fred: Aren't all our episodes?

Gohan: Yeah, but the last one was more so.

Kevin: Well, then you might not like what we have in store for today's show then.

Gohan: What's that?

Kevin: Well, I've decided that since satire doesn't work, maybe intellect will.

Gohan: What are you talking about?

Kevin: I'm talking about my campaign against yaoi, or gay sex between two characters for all of you out there who aren't down with the fanfic lingo.

Fred: Like you?

Kevin: (mumbling) What the hell is OOC (sidenote: I now know what it means)?

Gohan: Okay, so what do you plan to do about it?

Kevin: We're going to show why all these gay pairings don't work. First up is the most classic of the DBZ/GT series, Goku and Vegeta. Fred, please explain why this wouldn't work.

Fred: They f*cking hate each other.

Kevin: Exactly.

Gohan: This is what we're going to be doing with the show?

Kevin: Trust me. You'll like it when we're done. Okay Fred. Next couple.

Fred: Kurama and Hiei.

Kevin: It would never work.

Fred: Why's that, Kevin?

Kevin: Cause if Kurama ever tried to make a move on Hiei, or vice-versa, the other one would end up killing the him. Besides, no one that can harness a dragon like that could ever be gay.

Fred: What about Kurama?

Kevin: The fact that he plays with flowers makes me wonder. But he does have the death plant, and gay guys aren't ruthless like Kurama.

Gohan: Can I take the next couple?

Kevin: I guess.

Gohan: Piccolo and me.

Fred: That one might work.

Gohan: (pissed) IT DOESN'T WORK!!! I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!!

Fred: Whoa. I was just kidding.

Kevin: But Gohan's right. It wouldn't work.

Gohan: Right. Cause I'm not gay.

Kevin: No, Piccolo has no sexual organs. And in that relationship, you would be the bitch.

Gohan: But, for the record, nothing would happen. Cause I'm straight. I've married Videl for Christ's sake.

Kevin: True. But the point is it would never happen. So who's the next couple we want to discuss?

Fred: Yugi and Joey.

Kevin: That one's a tough one. But Joey does have that whole Bronx accent. And you can't call people from the Bronx gay. They kick ass for that.

Gohan: Also, it wouldn't work out just because of the fact that Yugi is technically two people.

Fred: Explain.

Gohan: Well, let's say that Yugi and Joey do hook up, but Yami doesn't agree. Then all Yami has to do is take over the body and say some mean words. Relationship is over.

Fred: But what if Yami is okay with it?

Gohan: Then that would be the strangest gay threesome I ever heard of.

Kevin: Yeah, it would blow someone's mind. Who's next?

Gohan: Any of the Shaman King pairings.

Fred: Yeah, cause Yoh has Anna. Who would turn down her? Who could turn down her? She would probably kill someone that turned her down.

Kevin: And Ren's not gay cause he's a badass. And there are two things badasses don't do: Cry and have gay sex.

Gohan: Ryo's not cause he's been chasing after some girls.

Fred: HoroHoro probably is.

Kevin: Maybe. But I doubt it cause he snowboards.

Gohan: What about Manta?

Kevin and Fred: (thinking about this one) Oh yeah, he's gay.

Gohan: What? What about this whole thing about anime characters not being gay?

Kevin: Well, we're exploring why some characters aren't gay. But we may find out that some are totally queer. Like Manta.

Gohan: And how is he gay?

Fred: He's short.

Gohan: So are you.

Fred: Yeah, but I'm not queer short. There's a difference.

Gohan: I somehow doubt that.

Kevin: The reason I say he's gay is because he is just so obsessed with Yoh. It just seems a little gay, that's all.

Gohan: Are there any pairings that you would say are correct?

Kevin: Goten and Trunks. Well, at least at the end of DBZ. I don't think they were as gay in GT.

Fred: Frieza.

Gohan: Frieza and who?

Fred: Just about anyone. He seems like he would be the one to rape people.

Kevin: I don't know. He's not that strong and I think he would take it more than he gave it. He also has no sexual organs so it would be hard to rape someone.

Gohan: Why are we even talking about this?

Kevin: Eh? It's something to do.

Gohan: Well, why are we only talking about guys? Why don't we talk about girl pairings?

Kevin: Cause almost all pairings work.

Gohan: That's not true.

Fred: Actually, it is. In the heat of passion, women are more likely to sleep with each other than guys are. That's why a majority of these sick gay pairings are by girls. They think that situations like that might actually happen, but, as straight males, we know that it's not true.

Kevin: He's right. Guys don't ever think about the whole "what would it be like to sleep with my best friend" thing. That's more of a college girl and her roommate thing.

Gohan: You two watch entirely way too much porn.

Kevin: IT'S NEVER TOO MUCH!!!

Fred: YEAH!!

Gohan: Well, unfortunately, or if you're me, fortunately, we're out of time. Tune in next time.

This was totally opinionated. As if that weren't obvious. Well, review. You don't have to agree with me to enjoy. There were other characters out there I could have talked about, but this'll do.