Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Witch Hunter Robin Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ The Gohan and Fred Show ❯ The Shockingly Refreshing Fourteenth Chapter ( Chapter 14 )

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The Gohan and Fred Show (episode 14)

Gohan: Hello and welcome to the Gohan...

Fred: And Fred...

Gohan: Show. As always Kevin is here.

Kevin: (writing frantically on his computer) Yeah.

Gohan: What are you doing?

Kevin: I'm trying to update my stuff.

Gohan: And I bet you didn't plan enough ahead to book a guest. (Kevin looks up and stares blankly) I didn't think so. Fortuanately, I have taken liberties.

Kevin: You got a guest. Who told you you could get guests on this show?

Gohan: You did. Remember our conversation?

Kevin: (staring blankly) Conversation?

Gohan: Well, luckily I had Frank in security record the conversation for me. Roll the clip.

***CLIP***

Gohan: (walks in while Kevin is still working on his computer) Hey Kevin. Did you remember to book a guest for the show?

Kevin: (mumbling. Not paying attention.) Guest. Uh. Yeah.

Gohan: You didn't, did you?

Kevin: (still typing and not paying attention) Right. No.

Gohan: Then I'll pick the guest, okay?

Kevin: Yeah, whatever. (Gohan leaves. Fred comes out of the bathroom in Kevin's personal office toting an empty bottle of Jose Cuervo.)

Fred: Spring Break 2004!!!

Kevin: (still not noticing) Yeah, spring.

***CLIP***

Kevin: (to Fred) What the hell were you doing in my bathroom?

Fred: Duh, drinking.

Kevin: I'll teach you to use my stuff. (Kevin pounces on Fred and they start to wrestle around)

Gohan: (grabs a hose and starts to spray them down) Knock it off! We got a show to do.

Kevin: (sitting back in his seat) Fine. But I'll get you later, bitch.

Fred: Bring it on, Tubby.

Kevin: I'll kill you.

Gohan: Not until after the show. (Kevin calms down) Now our guest today is one of the leading experts in weight loss and has just released a new diet idea.

Kevin: Are you implying something?

Gohan: (ignoring him) Here he is, Korin. (Korin walks out) Hello Korin.

Korin: Hello.

Gohan: So what's this new diet you have out?

Kevin: I still think you're implying something.

Korin: Well, my diet is based on a one-meal plan. All you eat is senzu beans.

Gohan: Senzu beans?

Korin: Yes. I've found that they hold all the nutritional value that you need for ten days. That's why everyone got full.

Gohan: But can you explain why the senzu beans work?

Korin: Well, when you eat, you replace calories that you had expended during the day. But the senzu beans replace enough calories for ten days, allowing you to expend more calories than you would during a normal ten day period.

Fred: How do they taste?

Gohan: Like crap. It's a good thing I was usually passed out when I had one cause you couldn't get me to swallow any of those things.

Korin: Actually, we fixed the taste. We now have three flavors: BBQ, Nacho, and Chocolate.

Gohan: Wow, that sounds great. How much are you making off of this?

Korin: Millions. (to the camera) Take that Atkins.

Kevin: You're still implying something.

Gohan: What would we be implying?

Kevin: That I'm fat.

Fred: I'll say.

Kevin: You're going to get it, monkey. (gets up to pounce on Fred)

Gohan: Don't make me get the hose again.

Kevin: (to Fred) Meet me in the parking lot after the show.

Fred: Are you sure you don't want to have a snack first?

Gohan: Can you two at least pretend to be professional about this?

Fred: Hell no.

Kevin: I can. And I will. We're going to go to a commercial, and when we come back we'll be joined by a different guest.

***COMMERCIAL***

Chiaotzu: (wearing a pimp hat and toting a cane) Hey, bitches. You tired of trying to score with girls who ain't havin' it. Then you need to call me, Pimp Master Chiaotzu. I got all the women (pictures flash of women). Asian women, white women, black women, Mexican women, and midgets.

Miroku: (talking to a girl) Will you bear my children?

Chiaotzu: (slapping Miroku) You ain't messing up my business bitch. Get out of here. (Miroku runs off in fear of the pasty white midget) And remember, I don't care what you do as long as you follow two rules. One, don't ruin the merchandise. Two, don't forget a rubber. If you don't follow these rules, (pulls out a switch blade) I'll cut you.

Announcer: Call 1-800-746-7688. That's 1-800-PIMP-OUT. Call today and get laid.

***COMMERCIAL***

Gohan: Those guys are our sponsors?

Kevin: Of course. That's the only kind of women that would do Fred.

Gohan: Speaking of my monkey companion, where did he go to (referring to Fred's empty seat).

Kevin: Like I know or care. I'm not his keeper.

Gohan: Yes you are.

Kevin: I think he went to get some water. Now back off.

Gohan: Okay. So who's our next guest?

Kevin: Here. (hands Gohan a card)

Gohan: Our next guest is a three-eyed demon of death. It's Hiei.

Hiei: (walking out) Kevin, why did you have to call me now?

Kevin: It was important. Besides, you owe me.

Hiei: For what?

Kevin: Who bought the third-eye for you?

Hiei: You're still going on about that?

Kevin: It was expensive.

Hiei: But didn't you use that favor up when I told everyone that we were related?

Kevin: Seeing as how it did nothing for my popularity, I don't count it. And it's not like you had anything better to do.

Hiei: I was in a fight. I decided to help you out but I had to kill the guy so fast that I couldn't take any pleasure in it.

Kevin: Well, that certaintly is a sad story. And since we need to fill time, how bout you kill someone on our show?

Hiei: Really? I can?

Kevin: The FCC hasn't stopped us yet.

Hiei: Well, who can I kill?

Kevin: We'll hold a lottery.

Gohan: Wait a second. I remember the last time you held a lottery my name was on all the balls except one.

Kevin: And you weren't picked. That means God likes you.

Gohan: Why don't you use the cage thing that isn't rigged so that I'm killed?

Kevin: Fine. Have it your way. (a cage is rolled out. Kevin spins it twice and pulls out a ball.) Hiei will maliciously kill...Kouga from Inuyasha.

Kouga: (walks out) Hey, what's the idea? Why do I have to die?

Kevin: Because I hate you.

Kouga: Why?

Kevin: You're a douche-bag. Do I need a reason?

Hiei: Not for me. (He charges at Kouga and slashes, but Kouga, using the Shikon jewel shards in his legs, is able to move out of the way)

Kouga: I'm not going to die that easy.

Kevin: Oh yes you are. (he presses a button and a big slab with locks on it appears behind Kouga. It locks him to slab.)

Kouga: Hey, this isn't fair.

Hiei: Yeah. You should at least let him move around. It makes the victory so much sweeter.

Kevin: Fine, but kill him fast cause you're eating up air time. (presses the button again and it lets Kouga go)

Hiei: Don't worry. I plan on ending this right now. (his arm is covered in a black flame. His shirt blows off, his third eye opens all the way and he fires his attack) DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!!! (the title of the move appears just below the screen. Kouga moves away but the dragon keeps attacking him, eventually engulfing and killing him instantly.)

Kevin: Was that good?

Hiei: (clutching his arm) OW. My arm. It hurts so much.

Kevin: Don't worry, we'll take care of it. Gohan, give him a senzu bean.

Gohan: (staring at the ashes that were once Kouga) He just incenerated him.

Kevin: Yeah, and now he's hurting. Get him the damn bean.

Gohan: Okay. (runs off stage)

Kevin: Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be up and kicking ass in no time.

Gohan: (from back stage, he screams) Kevin, something's happened to Fred.

Kevin: What?!

Gohan: He's been... kidnapped.

Kevin: No. By who?

Gohan: (holding the note) I don't know. The note just says that he has him. It isn't signed or anything.

Kevin: (tears welling up) No. My best friend in the whole world is gone. (a montage of flashbacks starts to show in Kevin's memory. Moments from the show mostly.)

Hiei: (keeled over and clutching his arm) Can you forget about that for a second and help me please?

Kevin: (kicks Hiei in the side) Quick thinking about yourself, you bastard.

Gohan: What are we going to do? He was the only reason people watched the show.

Kevin: (with determination, into the camera) We're going to find him.

***TO BE CONTINUED***

That's right. An adventure begins. Only one person knows how long this will take. And it's not me. Oh yeah, review.