Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Witch Hunter Robin Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ The Gohan and Fred Show ❯ The Master of Vagrancy That Is The Eighteenth Chapter ( Chapter 18 )

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The Gohan and Fred Show (episode 18)

Gohan: Hello and welcome to the Gohan...

Fred: And Fred...

Gohan: Show. As always, Kevin is here. (he waits for Kevin to say something, but he doesn't. He looks over and Kevin is shaking) What's wrong with you? Are you having a seizure?

Kevin: Guys.... I just saw the coolest show last night. It completely blew my mind.

Fred: What was it?

Kevin: It's called Wolf's Rain and it comes on Saturday nights on Cartoon Network. It's on Adult Swim, right after Inuyasha.

Fred: Well, what was so great about it?

Kevin: (looking into the camera) Everything.

Gohan: You're going to have to be a little more specific than that.

Kevin: Well, let's see. In the first episode, a wolf started chomping on two guy's throats. How's that for starters?

Fred: (stares blankly) Cool.

Gohan: I don't see what's so cool about it. Our show was better.

Kevin: Actually, this show blew DBZ, Yu Yu Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin, and Witch Hunter Robin out of the water.

Gohan: No way.

Kevin: Yes. It was so awesome. It was kind of like Witch Hunter Robin, only with wolves instead of witches. And that got me thinking that maybe we should invite one of the cast members on to the show today. So I picked the coolest guy. (hands a card over to Gohan)

Gohan: Today we have Kiba. (a white wolf strides out and sits in a chair) Kevin, I thought you said it was a guy.

Kevin: He can turn into a human. That's the best part about the show.

Gohan: Well, can you get him to turn into a human. (he looks at Kiba, who seems to be eyeing him, hungrily) He's starting to scare me.

Kevin: Um...Fred, you try.

Fred: Hey you, turn into your human mode or Gohan's going to crap himself.

Kiba: Never.

Fred: What? You defy me.

Kiba: I do what I want. And I refuse to degrade myself with such a pathetic disuise.

Fred: Listen, bitch. You better do the changy thingy before we have to rumble.

Kevin: Um.. Fred, you may not want to fight with him. He's a wolf and you're just a stuffed monkey.

Fred: What have I told you about calling me stuffed?

Kiba: He's right, you know? I could kill you before you even knew what happened.

Fred: Oh yeah.

Kiba: Yeah.

Fred: Oh yeah.

Kevin: Yeah. Just look at the clip. (shows the clip where Kiba is injured under the tree. Two guys are inspecting it. Tsume, who is another wolf/man, tells them to pull it out. Kiba's eyes suddenly spring open as they tried to touch him. He leaps up and latches his teeth into one guy's throat. The other man backs up and fires a crossbow at him. Kiba effortlessly dodges and attacks the other guy.)

Fred: Holy shit.

Kiba: You're damn right. I'm bad ass bitches.

Kevin: But just to show the people at home what you look like, can you change into human mode for like two seconds?

Kiba: Only for two seconds. (he suddenly goes from being a white wolf into the form a teenager with medium length dark hair. He is wearing a black jacket, a white shirt, and blue jeans. He then changes back into a wolf.)

Kevin: That is so cool.

Gohan: Hey, I changed into a giant ape and no one said I was cool.

Kevin: That's because apes suck compared to wolves.

Kiba: Yeah.

Fred: What? Some of my better relatives are apes.

Kevin: Well, none of this is important. What is important is the reason why I brought Kiba here. I'm going to put him in the toughest competition of his life.

Kiba: And what's that?

Kevin: A dog show.

Gohan, Fred, and Kiba: WHAT????

Kevin: Don't worry, it won't be anything that big. You're only going to have one opponent. And let's bring him out. (Kagome walks out first tugging on a leash. The thing on the other end of the leash is desperately trying to stay back behind the curtain.)

Kagome: (getting rather impatient) SIT!!! (something crashes backstage. Kagome is now able to pull out the thing on the other end of the leash, which if you haven't guessed by now, is Inuyahsa.)

Inuyasha: I don't want to do this Kagome. I have some dignity, you know.

Kagome: You're going to do this cause that guy (pointing to Kevin) said he would give us some Shikon Jewel shards if we won.

Inuyasha: How do you know if he's even telling you the truth?

Kevin: You know, if you really don't want those jewel shards, you don't have to do this.

Inuyasha: If you got some jewel shards, then show them to me.

Kevin: I don't have to. I guess you'll just have to trust me.

Kiba: So that's my opponent? A furry guy with dog ears.

Kevin: Inuyasha is a half-demon. Unfortunately, that half is dog-demon.

Inuyasha: I'm competing against a wolf?

Kiba: You got something against wolves?

Inuyasha: Yeah, you smell bad.

Kiba: Look who's talking. I can smell that mess you made back in the green room.

Kagome: Inuyahsa! (she smacks his head) Bad dog!

Inuyasha: I didn't make a mess. I don't know what this guy is talking about. Seriously Kagome, I think you're way too gullible.

Kevin: You have a point. It seems like almost every other episode, Miroku is able to con her so he can touch her butt.

Kagome: He's a monk. How was I supposed to know he does that stuff?

Kevin: But you think you would at least catch on.

Gohan: So what are the rules for this dog show?

Kevin: I don't know. I've never been to a dog show. I just thought it would be funny.

Fred: Then maybe we should make them fight. That's always fun. (suddenly, there is a black flash and Hiei shows up on the set)

Hiei: Did someone say fight?

Kevin: Damnit Hiei. You can't keep showing up everytime there's a fight. Especially like that. You could at least do it a little more gracefully, like Vegeta. You know, with some style.

Hiei: But I need to kill something. Koenma hasn't given us a case in a long time. I think I'm getting rusty.

Kevin: But we're not going to kill anything today. If they fight, it won't be to the death. Because I can't kill off people that are cool. That's just my code.

Gohan: But you killed Kuwabara.

Kevin: My point exactly.

Hiei: Well, since I'm here, can I at least do something?

Kevin: Well, you wouldn't happen to know of any other people we can bring in to the dog show, do you?

Hiei: I'll be back in a jiffy. (he rushes off and a few minutes later he comes back with several characters) Here you go.

Kevin: Nice job Hiei. I guess you can go kill something now.

Hiei: (whining... I know Hiei doesn't whine. It's just for comedy's sake) But who?

Kevin: Um...Kill Oolong. He's always been annoying. And when you do it, take his carcass to a butcher. I could really use the pork. (Hiei rushes off)

Gohan: So should we introduce the new participants?

Kevin: Of course.

Fred: I'll do it. I don't think either of you has the amazing announcing powers that I do. (Fred clears his throat and starts announcing in a voice that would make Michael Buffer jealous. If you don't know who he is, his catch phrase will be mentioned a little later.) First up, from the show "Wolf's Rain," we have Kiba. (steps into a spotlight) Next, from his self-titled show is Inuyasha. (steps into a spotlight, still attached to the leash that Kagome is holding) Now, coming from the show "Tenchi Muyo" is Ryo-ohki. (steps into a spotlight, toting a carrot) Next up, from his self-titled show is Hamtaro. (he rolls a little ball into a spotlight) Next, from "X/1999," with it's trainer Yuzuhira Nekoi, Inuki. (a girl steps forward into the spotlight)

Kevin: Whoa, where's her animal?

Yuzuhira: Only those who are spiritually aware can see Inuki.

Kevin: Can anyone else see it then?

Fred: I can. It's a giant pink octopus.

Yuzuhira: Inuki is not a giant pink octopus. It's a wolf.

Kevin: Not only did you lie, Fred. But you insulted her wolf. You should be ashamed.

Fred: Hiei should be ashamed for bringing her here. How are we supposed to be able to judge an animal we can't see.

Kevin: Good point. I guess she's disqualified.

Yuzuhira: That's not fair.

Kevin: I'm sorry, but we can't judge the animal if we can't see it. It's in the rules.

Gohan: What rules? You're making this up on the spot.

Kevin: But how are we supposed to judge it.

Gohan: Well we obviously need someone who is spiritually aware that we can trust to give us an accurate depiction of the wolf.

Kevin: Too much time and I don't trust any one. She's disqualified. (she leaves) Who's next Fred?

Fred: (in his announcing voice) Next up, from his self-titled Sonic the Hedgehog games and the show "Sonic X", Sonic. (he steps out, a leash is attached to him and Amy Rose is holding it) And finally, from "origins unknown" we have Spot. (Starfire walks out with a green Chiahuahua attached to a leash)

Kevin: Why does that dog look familiar? (referring to "Spot")

Gohan: Duh. He's the Taco Bell dog.

Kevin: But I didn't think it was green. I thought that was just the color on my TV being messed up.

Gohan: Well apparently, you were wrong.

Fred: (in his normal voice) Shut up. I'm not done yet. (back in his announcing voice. This is the reference to Michael Buffer) Llllllett's get ready to rrrrruummbllllllllllle!!

Kevin: Very nice, Fred. Now on with the show. Let's see what kind of tricks the animals can perform. First is Inuyasha.

Kagome: He could do a lot of tricks. Watch. (she starts barking out commands, no pun intended) SIT! (he sits) ROLL OVER! (he does) BEG! (he does. She throws a tennis ball) FETCH! (he does) SPEAK!

Inuyasha: If you make me do one more trick, I'm going to kill Shippo.

Kagome: No. Not Shippo.

Kevin: Nice threat. I give him a ten.

Fred: Two. I wouldn't have threatened.

Gohan: Uh... Are we supposed to be judging?

Kevin: No. Next is Kiba. (a stage hand walks out and holds a piece of steak high in the air. Kiba jumps up. But instead of going for the steak, he rips out the stage hand's throat.) Ooooh. That's a 14.

Fred: Five. I would've gone for the balls. Make him suffer instead of just killing him.

Kevin: Can't you be a little more generous with your points?

Fred: No.

Gohan: Okay, let's move on. Next is Ryo-ohki. (Ryo-ohki steps out. A truck with hundreds of carrots starts to back up. It dumps all the carrots on him, which he swallows as they fall. He grows to a huge proportion, then he gulps and drops back down to normal size.) That was so cute. I give him a ten.

Kevin: A one. I hate people who can eat more than me and still keep their figure.

Fred: He's pissed off Kevin. I give him a six. Okay, now it's Hamtaro's turn. (Hamtaro steps forward and starts to dance. Fred gives a heavy sigh.) God, he's doing it again. (Fred pulls out a sniper rifle and shoots Hamtaro through the back of the skull)

Gohan: (seriously pissed) What did you do that for?

Fred: I hate that hamster.

Kevin: But you didn't need to kill him.

Fred: That's just your opinion.

Kevin: Well, I guess there's no point on judging him. Next is Sonic. (Sonic starts to run on a tread mill as it is going at its maximum speed. Kevin and Fred smack him in the back of the head.) Learn a new trick.

Fred: Yeah. That's getting old.

Sonic: Fine. Amy, give me the Chaos Emeralds. (she gives him the emeralds and he goes Super Sonic)

Gohan: Oh come on. Now you're just ripping me off. (Gohan goes Super Saiyan) See? Try being original.

All three: Zero points.

Kevin: And finally, here is Spot. (Spot barks, then transforms into a green elephant, then into a green T-rex, and finally, back into a green Chihuahua.) Hey, wait a second. That's Beast Boy.

"Spot": Um... No it's not.

Kevin: Oh okay then. I give it ten points.

Fred: Three. I hate green.

Gohan: Six. It was kind of impressive.

Kevin: Wait. Green dogs don't talk. It is Beast Boy.

"Spot": Um... Run Star. (he turns into Beast Boy and he and Starfire run away)

Kevin: I knew it.

Fred: Yeah yeah. But who's the winner?

Kevin: I don't know. I wasn't keeping track.

Gohan: Well, I wasn't either.

Fred: I did the announcing so I can't be held responsible.

Kevin: I know. Let's leave it up to the fans. (turns to the camera) Send in who you think the winner should be and we'll tell everyone next episode.

Gohan: So what should we do now?

Kevin: (thinks for a little) Dog fight?

Fred: I don't know. It doesn't seem as interesting as a cat fight.

Gohan: Well, it would be a nice change of pace. And slightly more tasteful.

Kevin: All right. Then who do we want to fight. (he turns back to the contestants to see that all Hell is breaking lose. Kiba is chasing Ryo-ohki around, trying to eat it. Inuyasha is chewing on the corpse of Hamtaro and Kagome is trying to get it out of his mouth. Sonic is trying to get away from Yuzuhira, who returned to wreak havoc on the other contestants for not letting her participate.) Well, I guess it started without us.

All three: (uncertaintly) Dog fight? Dog fight?

Kevin: It just doesn't feel the same.

Fred: Yeah.

Gohan: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Tune in next time.

Okay, so review. And, if you have the luxury of being able to watch Cartoon Network, check out Wolf's Rain, as it really is a kick ass show.