Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction / Witch Hunter Robin Fan Fiction / Crossover Fan Fiction ❯ The Gohan and Fred Show ❯ The Rejuvenated and Beligerent Twentieth Chapter ( Chapter 20 )

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (And this, my friends, is the first NEW chapter of "The Gohan and Fred Show." It's certaintly been a long time coming. Note: There was one other chapter that, sadly, was not saved in time before it's deletion from fanfiction.net. So we'll just forget it ever existed.)

The Gohan and Fred Show (episode 19)

Gohan: Hello and welcome to the Gohan...

Fred: And Fred...

Gohan: Show. As usual, Kevin is here.

Kevin: They tried to do it, but they just can't keep me off the internet.

Gohan: Sadly, you are right. Well, since I'm stuck here as some form of divine punishment for something I'm not sure I did, let's move on with the show.

Kevin: You know damn well what you did.

Gohan: And what would that be?

Kevin: Putting education before training. You became a little bitch, you know that.

Gohan: That's your personal opinion and I'm still strong enough to beat the living hell out of you.

Kevin: And that's your personal opinion.

Fred: Can we just move on? The more you two bicker, the less people get to see of me.

Gohan: Fine, who do we have for today's show?

Kevin: Well, back at the beginning of summer, I spent an unusual amount of time on a video game called "Drakengard." I haven't gotten the 100% yet, but once I find time to re-rent it and beat the game, I'll die a happy man.

Fred: What's so challenging about it?

Kevin: Trying to go around and get every single weapon. Besides that, there are some tough enemies and not to mention that the graphics make you want to burst out into a musical number. And it's got a very twisted story, with some very interesting characters. Which you're going to meet two of now. (hands Gohan the card)

Gohan: Today's guests are Caim and Angelus. (a man with black hair and a giant red dragon walk out) Now, Caim, can you give us a little background into the game?

Kevin: Um...Gohan.

Gohan: Quiet, Kevin. I'm conducting an interview here. Why don't you and Fred go run off and get liquored up.

Fred: Good idea! (Fred gets up to leave but Kevin sits him back in his seat)

Kevin: We're in AA remember.

Fred: But a little cheating isn't that bad, is it?

Kevin: No cheating. And Gohan there was something I didn't mention.

Gohan: Well, that's nice Kevin, but let it wait til after the interview. (turns to Caim) Now can you answer the question now?

Caim:....

Gohan: Oh, so you think you're too good to answer my question, huh?

Kevin: Gohan, he can't--

Gohan: Silence. (turns back to Caim) Well, if you're not going to answer my question, we're not going to have much of an interview here, are we?

Kevin: Gohan--

Gohan: Shut up.

Angelus: Caim can't speak. It was part of our pact. I make him stronger but he loses his voice.

Gohan: Oh. (to Kevin) Why didn't you tell me this?

Kevin: (sarcastically) Well, it just slipped my mind. (turns to Fred, who is drinking a bottle of Corona. Kevin tries to pry it away from the monkey) I told you no drinking. What about your liver?

Fred: I don't have a liver. Remember? I don't have any organs.

Kevin: But it's still bad for you.

Gohan: (snatches the bottle) No one's drinking til after the show.

Fred: You son of a bitch!

Kevin: No, he's right. You're not drinking. Ever.

Fred: But I need it!

Angelus: Are you guys going to interview us?

Kevin: Yeah, Gohan. Where's the interview?

Gohan: Well, if you two wouldn't keep interrupting me, maybe I could get a decent interview in.

Kevin: Oh, so this is all my fault? Well, once we come back from commercial, I'm going to do embarrass Gohan to the likes he has never seen.

Angelus: But what about the interview?

Kevin: Cram it dragon!

COMMERCIAL

Announcer: (there's a picture of a boy sitting on his porch, bored) Hey, kid. Are you bored?

Timmy (Kid): Yeah.

Announcer: Wish you had some cool toy to play with?

Timmy: (becomes interested) Ye--

Announcer: Not just any toy. A toy with 342 connecting parts? (Timmy tries to answer but is interrupted again) And transforms into a real working laser gun? (Timmy waits to see if the guy is going to say anything else. When he's sure the announcer is done talking, he tries to answer, but is cut off again) And will give you the power to take over a small country?

Timmy: YES!!!

Announcer: Too bad. All we make is bouncy balls. (throws a bouncy ball at Timmy and hits him hard in the head)

Timmy: OWW!!

Announcer: Suck it up, pansy!

Doctor: (later in a doctor's office) Well, I have good news.

Timmy's mom: So, Timmy's going to be okay.

Doctor: No, Timmy's got cancer. But I just saved a load of money on my car insurance by switching to Geiko. (there is a pause, then the mom and the doctor burst out laughing while Timmy stares forward in shock)

Geiko Announcer: If you want to save money on your car insurance, call Geiko today.

COMMERCIAL

Kevin: Hi, we're back and Caim and Angelus have refused to leave.

Angelus: I want an interview!

Kevin: Too bad!

Angelus: You've got balls, human. I admire that. But if you don't give us our interview, I'm going to light your set on fire.

Kevin: Okay, fine. What do you think about the upcoming presidential election?

Angelus: Well, neither candidate has really addressed the--

Caim: Oh, damn. There she goes again. If you think Bush is so great why don't you just marry him.

Angelus: Well, excuse me because I don't support Kerry. Maybe if he would stick to the issues instead of saying "If I were President, I would have done this differently."

Caim: That's because he wouldn't have led us into the war.

Angelus: A war that he had supported? Right. And while we were just waiting around with our collective thumbs up our asses, we would have been blown away by all those W.M.D.s.

Caim: But we didn't find any.

Gohan: (all three of the interviewers are shocked. To Kevin) I thought they said the guy couldn't talk.

Kevin: Well, that's what I thought too.

Fred: Dude, the dragon's talking.

Kevin: That's what you're shocked about?

Fred: No, I'm shocked that she thinks you have balls.

Kevin: (starts to strangle Fred) You bastard!

Angelus: Can we get back to our discussion?

Gohan: Hold on. I thought you said Caim couldn't talk.

Caim: (to Angelus) Oh great, you just ruined the gimmick.

Angelus: You interrupted me.

Caim: Because you went off on one of your political rants.

Kevin: Well, if Caim didn't give up his voice, what did he give up?

Caim: I'm not saying.

Angelus: He can't get it up.

Caim: Damn you, dragon!

Angelus: It's not like everyone doesn't know already. They all make fun of you behind your back.

Caim: They do?

Angelus: Yes.

Caim: Dragon?

Angelus: Yes?

Caim: We're off.

Angelus: Why?

Caim: I have some friends to kill. (Caim hops on Angelus and they fly out of the building)

Fred: That's cool.

Gohan: Yeah. So I guess that's about all the time we have--

Kevin: Not so fast Gohan. You didn't think I'd forget about my promise. Our next guest....IS GOKU!!

Gohan: NOOOOOO!!!!!!

Goku: (walking out from backstage) Hey Gohan.

Gohan: Dad, what are you doing here?

Goku: Your friend asked me to come on the show again.

Gohan: He's not my friend.

Kevin: Don't lie to your father, Gohan. We're like best friends. (cheesy smile and hugging Gohan) Photo op! (Fred takes the picture)

Goku: Aw, that's so cute.

Gohan: No it's not, it's embarrassing.

Goku: The monkey's embarrassing?

Kevin: Nevermind that. Now, Goku, I hear there's an announcement you would like to make.

Goku: Yes, there is. I know a lot of people out there think I'm pretty lame. But it's not true. However, since these claims won't stop, I've taken measures.

Kevin: What kind of measures?

Goku: I got me my own crew.

Kevin: Really?

Goku: Yes. Here's my homies: Jay and Silent Bob.

Jay: What's up, mother f--

Kevin: Whoa, let's watch the mouth. We only got a PG-13 rating. I don't want to have to go any higher.

Jay: How are you going to tell me not to say the f-word? It's part of my basic vocabulary.

Kevin: Say something else in it's place.

Jay: Fine. What's up, mother lovers?

Silent Bob: .....

Fred: Another guy that doesn't talk? Can he not get it up either? (a brick hits Fred from out of no where) Ow!

Jay: I wouldn't talk about Silent Bob like that. He's got some issues he needs to deal with.

Kevin: Like what?

Jay: Like with his mom.

Silent Bob: She used to--

Jay: (smacking the back of his head) I told you not to speak.

Gohan: Dad, where did you get the idea that this would make you cool?

Jay: I'll answer that. He only had to think about the two coolest mother lovers on the planet and there me and my hetero life mate were.

Goku: Actually, I don't know who these guys were. But they assured me that I would become cool again.

Jay: Yeah, but only if you did two things. Shut up and introduce me to Bulma.

Kevin: Wait, so now it's Jay, Silent Bob, and Silent Goku.

Jay: Word like a mother lover.

Gohan: And why do you want to meet Bulma?

Jay: Because I know how big of a sl--

Kevin: (clears his throat)

Jay: Sorry. I know how much she likes guys. I figured she'd go to bed with me in no time.

Fred: Ha! I guess he hasn't heard the news.

Jay: What news?

Fred: Bulma's a baptist now.

Jay: Damnit! I'm never going to get any!

Gohan: Dad, how could you agree to let him do that to Bulma?

Goku: Like I haven't done worse. She's like my ultimate bargaining chip.

Kevin: Well, that's all the time for today. Tune in next time when possibly something interesting will happen....Possibly.

Well, I hoped everyone enjoyed the new chapter. Cause now it's time to tell me what you think of it. So review, my pretties. Review.