Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ FAMILY SECRETS ❯ An Old Dog with New Tricks ( Chapter 13 )

FAMILY SECRETS

[AnimeJunkie’s Room]

AJ was just finishing reading her e-mail when the YYH Gang comes running into her room clamoring about the “visitor” Gwen was getting.

Yusuke: I bet it’s a best friend of hers. I hope she’s as hot as Gwen is. *perverted grin*

Kuwabara: I think it’s her Dad. I mean she hasn’t seen him since she came to Japan.

Hiei: *glares* Is there no end to your stupidity? Gwen said SHE! Meaning the visitor is female, BAKA! I’m surprised you haven’t been killed yet.

Yukina: Maybe it’s her little sister? She and I could become best friends since we have something in common. *smiles*

Hiei: You mean you’re both pains in the neck? *chuckles*

Yukina: *hits Hiei over the head with a pillow repeatedly* Very funny, Shorty!

Hiei: *shields himself from his sister’s feathery assault* Hey! You’re just as short as I am. *laughs* I GIVE! I GIVE! You can stop now!

AJ: *chuckles* You gotta love them.

Kurama: I think Yukina has the right idea. Something tells me it is a relative of hers. But who? When will we find out?

AJ: After the disclaimer is read. (Disclaimer) Okay, you know the drill, I don’t own Yu Yu Hakusho or it’s characters....no matter how HOT some of them are. {Kurama, do I have plans for you in this story ^_~} Oh, and I want to thank KALI_ALORIEN for her input with this chapter. Expect a lot more from this girl because she’s my co-writer since I’ve been hitting some blocks lately. Also...go to this site and sign the petition to SAVE ANIME from being *sings* BANNED IN THE U.S.A. http://www.petitiononline.com/6G78Sksa

And now....on with the fic!

{...}-Gwen’s thoughts

/.../-Kurama’s thoughts

~...~- Youko’s thoughts

‘...’-everyone else’s thoughts

*********************************************************** *******************

LAST TIME on FAMILY SECRETS.........

Gwen: Hello? Oh, hi mom. How was the funeral? New Orleans style, huh? Cool. (A/N: New Orleans style funerals look more like a party than a funeral.) So what else is new? She is? You’re kidding! AW, SNAP! This is gonna be so cool! I’ll meet her there at the airport tomorrow. Okay, Love you too. Bye. *closes her cell*

Kurama: So what did your mom say?

Gwen: I’m getting a special visitor tomorrow. And believe me, Tokyo will never be the same. *smiles and winks*

***************************************************************** *************

[Saturday Morning-Keiko’s House]

It’s 10:00 a.m. and Gwen was putting the finishing touches on her outfit for the day. Her mom called her the night before and told her exactly what time to be at the airport to pick up her visitor.

Gwen: 11:30 a.m. *puts on her favorite earrings* Another hour and a half and Tokyo will be turned upside down. *chuckles and turns to her faithful pet, Trixie* What do you think? You think Japan can handle her?

Trixie squeaks and burrows under the covers of her owner’s already-made bed.

Gwen: *laughs and shakes her head* I’ll take that as a “no”. It’s been so long since I’ve seen her last. I wonder what she’s up to now?

As she reminisces about her visitor’s exploits (A/N: You’ll find out what they are soon enough.), Keiko knocks on her door.

Keiko: Gwen, can I come in?

Gwen: Sure, Ku-Ku.

Keiko: *walks inside and leans against the door jamb* So, who is this visitor? I can’t wait to meet her. Can’t you tell me now? Please?

Gwen: *looks at Keiko and smiles* No way. I want you to be surprised. But believe me, it’ll be worth it. *grabs her purse*

Keiko: *pleads* Oh. Come on. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.

Gwen: *laughs* No. You’ll see her yourself. Now let’s go. *runs downstairs and puts her shoes on and yells back upstairs* Come on, Keiko, or I’m going without you!

Keiko: *running down with Trixie on her shoulder* Coming!!!

[Tokyo Airport]

After an hour of shopping (A/N: What did you expect? Three girls with an hour to kill?), Gwen, Keiko and Mrs. Ukimura wait at the terminal for the “visitor” to arrive. Trixie had to wait in her pet carry-all and as you can figure out, she hates it. Another fifteen minutes pass until they here the flight attendant’s squeaky voice over the intercom: ATTENTION! FLIGHT 653 IS NOW LANDING AND WILL BE COMING IN AT GATE 78.

Gwen: *looks up at the intercom* That’s her flight! You guys are gonna love her! *gathers her posterboard sign with the big painted red letters* {This is gonna ROCK!}

They arrive at Gate 78 and Gwen holds up her sign to let her “visitor” know where to go. As they watch the passengers get off of the plane and file through the gate, they noticed that they all

were either laughing or had big smiles on their faces. They all seem pretty ordinary....until one woman comes off of the plane jumping off the top step yelling COWABUNGA!!! and doing a front flip landing perfectly on her feet. (A/N: Sound like someone you know? ^_~) She had short gray hair, silver glasses, and had on a lavender workout suit with a white stripe down the sides. She was a little shorter than Kurama and was slender without being skinny. She had on headphones and was singing “Hey Mama” by the Black Eyed Peas (A/N: Don’t own but it’s still a cool song.) at the top of her lungs. Gwen yelled out to her but she couldn’t hear her for the earphones. After two more failed tries, the diamond glows on her bracelet and Gwen uses her telekinetic powers to lift the earphones off of her head. She took a deep breath and with her lungs of life shouted......

Gwen: GRANDMA!!!! OVER HERE!!!! *waves both of her hands*

Nano: *waves* Hey, sweetie!

Gwen’s grandmother runs to her and hugs her so tightly Gwen almost passes out. (A/N: That happens to her a lot, doesn’t it?)

Nano: Lemme look at you, kangaroo. (A/N: That’s Nano’s nickname for Gwen because when she was young, she was always jumping and doing her gymnastics and Martial Arts moves. She also had a favorite red pullover sweatshirt with a single big pocket right in the front.) You have grown into such a beautiful young lady. I bet you have someone who’s got the hots for you. *chuckles*

Gwen: I dunno, Grandma. *blushes* {I dunno if he has the hots for me, I do know that I have the hots for Kurama. And they make a volcano look cold.} Oh, Grandma. Let me introduce you to my friend and her mom, this is Keiko and Mrs. Ukimura. *points to each of them as she introduces them* Keiko, Mrs. Ukimura, this is my Grandma Natalie Norton; Also known as “Nano”.

Keiko: *extends her hand to be shaken* Nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Norton.

Nano: *shakes Keiko’s hand* Child, please. Call me Nano. *smiles*

Mrs. Ukimura: It’s nice to meet you, Nano. *shakes her hand* You look so young.

Nano: I owe it all to clean living and Tae Bo. ‘More like Billy Blanks and his FINE self. MMM!’ (A/N: I don’t own either one.)

Gwen: *excited* So did you bring it?

Nano: Girl, you know I did. I never leave home without it. *winks*

Keiko: Bring what? *anxious* Oh, come on! Why do you always have to keep me in suspense?

Gwen: I’m just getting back at you for Shuichi’s house, remember? *laughs*

Keiko: *pouts* No fair!

Mrs. Ukimura: Well would you like to load your things into our car?

Nano: Sure, but if it’s alright, I wanna ride home myself while you take my things to your house. My baby and I need some alone time.

Mrs. Ukimura: I suppose that’s all right. *smiles* Let’s help you get your things loaded up.

Nano: I’m all for that! *they walk to the baggage claim and Nano’s suitcases roll out of the conveyor belt. Keiko walks over with a dolly to hold all of the luggage*

Keiko: You can put all of...your...suitcases...here?

The reason Keiko stalled with her sentence was because of the sight in front of her. Nano had picked up all of her luggage and was carrying them on her shoulders as if they were as light as a feather.

Nano: No offense, child. But I was never the type to use outside appliances when I can do it myself. *winks* Now where’s that car? *laughs*

Keiko sweatdrops and just chalks it up to the fact that Gwen’s family was never quite normal. They walk to Mrs. Ukimura’s car and quickly load it up with the seemingly never-ending luggage.

Gwen: *puts the last bag in the trunk* Now that that’s done, I can’t wait for you to meet my other friends, Grandma. They’re... unique. *chuckles* {That’s putting it mildly.}

Nano: *sees into her granddaughter’s soul* Mmm hmm. I see. Well, they sound like my kind of people. You go on ahead and I’ll follow you to your house.

Keiko: But how will you do that? Did you bring a car?

Gwen: *chuckles* Nope, even better.

As Keiko, Gwen and Mrs. Ukimura get in their car and drive back to their house, Keiko looks behind her through the rear window to see exactly what Nano is riding on.

Keiko: *looks at Nano’s ride* AWESOME!!!

[20 minutes later...]

They arrive at Keiko’s house and they help Nano take her bags inside-even though she doesn’t need help.

Keiko: *looks at Nano with wide eyes* Just how much can you lift, Nano?

Nano: Well, the most I can bench is 150. When I was younger, though, I could do 200 easy.

Mrs. Ukimura: No wonder you’re in such good shape. I see where Gwen gets it from.

Gwen: That’s nothin’. She’s also a black belt in Kung Fu and Judo.

Keiko: *chuckles* In that case, Yusuke would LOVE meeting you! I can’t wait for him to get here. In fact...*opens her cell and calls Yusuke* Hello? Hi, Yusuke. Guess what? Gwen’s guest is here; you have GOT to get over here. And tell the gang to hurry up. Yeah. I’ll see ya later. Bye. *closes her cell phone* ‘If she’s HALF as interesting as her mom, I’d bet she has some incredible stories. *sigh* I wish my grandma was this cool.’

[10 minutes later.....]

Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei and Kurama walk down the street just a block away from Keiko’s house talking about who they think Gwen’s guest is.

Yusuke: *walking backwards with his arms behind his head* So who do you guys think Gwen’s guest is? I bet she’s some kinda voodoo woman. *waves his hands like a magician*

Kuwabara: Nah, I bet she’s something cool like a ninja assassin. *has a stupid grin on his face*

Hiei: *looks at Kuwabara annoyed* You’re giving her too much credit. I bet she’s as dull as dirt.

Kurama: *looks at Hiei with an eyebrow raised* Hiei; think about it. You KNOW how Gwen is, so there is NO way her guest is dull.

Yusuke: *turns around* Well, I do know ONE thing and that’s.....*stops dead in his track and the other guys bump into him almost falling backwards*

Kuwabara: Hey, Urameshi! What’s the big idea? Why did you stop? *no answer* Urameshi?

*waves his hand in front of Yusuke’s face* Earth to Urameshi. Come in, Over!

Yusuke: *whispers* I...am...in...LOVE!

Yusuke slowly walks to the RIDE that Gwen’s grandmother had parked outside. It was a metallic red and black motorcycle with custom red chrome wheels with spiderweb spokes surrounded by black tires. The front wheel was thinner than its 240 rear wheel. Silver chrome webbing covered both fenders and the scarlet and ebony painted tank; the sides of the tank were painted red while the top of it was black with the symbol of the black widow emblazoned in the very center. (A/N: The symbol basically looks a red triangular-shaped hourglass kinda thing.) White spider web patterns were painted on the bike’s shocks and rear plate with the words “black widow” in between the top two spaces. The black leather seat had an intricate spider web pattern sewn using red thread and the crimson web-etched handlebars matched perfectly. Nestled under the seat was a top of the line transmission with belt drive a shiny chrome drive guard that looked like you could rip it off and use it as a separate weapon. (A/N: COOL!!) Just under the black leather seat was a small motor small tank whose ends were painted with the bike’s namesake-a Black Widow Spider. (A/N: Very poisonous and dangerous, but they have SUCH a cool name!) The ebony helmet, with a black widow symbol painted on the back, hung by its strap from the handlebar. Yusuke was literally drooling over the two-wheeled machine in front of him, dragging his fingers delicately over its shiny paint job, chrome webbing and plush leather seat.

Yusuke: *awestruck* Guys, what you are looking at is a work of art! I mean look at those curves, those lines! She is absolutely GORGEOUS! Pure poetry in motion!

Nano: *walks outside and puts her hand on her hip* Well, thanks for the compliment, cutie. But what do you think of my bike?

The guys look up at the elderly lady standing in front of the door and quickly put 2 and 2 together. Everyone except Kuwabara, that is.

Kuwabara: Nobody told me Keiko’s grandma was coming. She looks good though, nice tan.

Hiei: *looks at Nano* You’ll have to forgive Kuwabaka here. He....

Yusuke: His elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor. *chuckles*

Nano: *looks Kuwabara over* If you ask me, HIS elevator never left the BASEMENT!

Kuwabara anime falls and Yusuke cracks up laughing at the joke Nano made at the carrot top’s expense.

Yusuke: *wipes the tears from his eyes* You must be Gwen’s guest, you have the same smart mouth.

Nano: That’s right. And that’s MY bike you’re drooling on.

Yusuke: *looks at the bike and looks back at Nano and laughs* Yeah, right Granny! And I’m *in a bad Austrian accent* Arnold Schwarzeneggar! (A/N: Don’t own.)

Nano: *shakes his hand* Nice to meet ya, Arnold! But that really is my bike.

Gwen: *walks out behind her grandmother* And why would my GRANDMOTHER lie?

Guys: *eyes bug out of their heads* GRANDMOTHER!?

Nano: That’s right! But y’all can call me NANO! *walks to Hiei* But you can call me TONIGHT, Sweet ‘n Low! *winks and makes Hiei blush*

Gwen: *shocked* Grandma! *laughs* {She’s not even here a whole hour and already she’s flirting with my friends.} You’re embarrassing him.

Nano: Oh, you know I’m just kiddin’. *laughs*

Keiko: *walks outside to see Gwen and Nano talking to the guys* You guys finally made it. You wanna come in?

[Inside Keiko’s house]

Nano: So, Kangaroo. You gonna introduce me to your friends or do I have to flirt with them some more? *chuckles*

Gwen blushes at the nickname, mainly because she said it in front of her crush, Kurama.

Yusuke: *laughs* Kangaroo?? Oh, THAT is PRICELESS! That’s almost as bad as the nickname my grandma has for me!

Kuwabara: *chuckles* You mean Shmoopy Woopy Bear? *laughs*

Yusuke: *fumes and charges after Kuwabara* I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MENTION THAT IN PUBLIC!!! *chases after Kuwabara around the house.*

Gwen: Uh....Grandma.....the one with the slicked back hair is Yusuke, Keiko’s boyfriend and the one he’s going to kill if he ever gets his hands on him, is Kuwabara. *yells at Yusuke* WILL YOU GUYS CUT IT OUT? *sighs* Anyhoo, the one you were flirting with is Hiei.

Hiei: *crosses his arms* Hn.

Nano: *smiles* Nice to meet you too, Hiei. ‘He isn’t hiding anything. I know he’s happy about something.’ *looks at Kurama and grins* Now who is this handsome fellow?

Gwen: This is Kurama. Kurama, Nano.

Nano: ‘He’s a hottie. I bet he has to beat the girls off with a stick’ (A/N: Actually Gwen does that. LOL) Nice to meet you. *holds out her hand*

Kurama: Likewise, madam. *kisses her hand*

Youko: ~Nice going, Loverboy. Getting brownie points with Gwen AND her grandma. You know girls LOVE charm and sensitivity. And if you can FAKE THAT, you’re IN! *smirks*~

Kurama: /*sighs* Shut it, Youko!/

Youko: ~It was a joke! Lighten up!~

Nano: So, Roo. Is there someone you have your eye on I should know about? *looks at her granddaughter smiling*

Gwen: *blushes* Well...

As Gwen was wishing someone would change the subject, in walked Botan.

Botan: Greetings, everyone. *too chipper for her own good* So where is this guest you were talking about, Gwen?

Gwen: {*sighs* THANK YOU, BOTAN!} Botan, this is my Grandma Nano. Grandma, this is Botan.

Nano: Nice to meet you, Botan. *shakes her hand*

Botan: Likewise, I’m sure. *smiles and shakes her hand* Oh, I almost forgot. Gwen, Genkai wants you at her temple as soon as possible. She said she wants you to start your Spirit weapon training.

Nano: Did you say Genkai? Is she still training people? *laughs* The last time I saw her was when we met at the Hong Kong Martial Arts Invitational two years ago. Man, she gave me a battle!

Yusuke: You mean you’re a martial artist?

Nano: You got that right, Hun. 3rd degree black belt in Judo and Kung Fu! I even sparred with the great Bruce Lee, himself.

Yusuke: *gasps* NO FRIGGIN’ WAY! YOU’RE JERKIN’ MY CHAIN!

Nano: No kiddin’. Now, Botan, is it? How far is it to Genkai’s crib?

Botan: *waves her hand and opens a portal* Not far at all. Let’s go everyone! *walks through*

Nano: *looks at Gwen* Is that girl high on caffeine or what?

Gwen: *chuckles* Your guess is as good as mine, Grandma. *walks through with everyone else behind her*

[Genkai’s Temple]

As they come out of the other side of the portal, Nano looks at the temple in front of her and marvels at how many steps it has.

Nano: I bet you can get a good cardio workout on those.

Gwen: *looks at her grandmother with a pained expression as she remembers Genkai’s workouts involving the steps of HELL* PLEASE don’t say that, Grandma.

Genkai: *walks down the steps* Well, we’re not doing cardio today....*looks at the woman in front of her* ...Nano?

Nano: Genkai, is that you, Girl?

They both scream like teenagers and hug each other, laughing and telling each other they look good.

Genkai: *smiles* How long has it been?

Nano: Two years. You almost beat me in Hong Kong.

Genkai: Almost is right. If you hadn’t gotten me with that pinwheel kick, I’d have won. *winks* I never knew you could still do that.

Gwen: Pinwheel Kick?

Nano: One on my favorite moves. I’ll show you someday, Roo.

Genkai: *looks at Gwen confused* Roo?

Gwen: *blushes* Long story. Um, can we get started with training? {Please?}

Genkai: *chuckles* Sure thing. ‘Roo.’ Follow me.

After an hour of warming up, Genkai begins Spirit Weapon training.

Genkai: The purpose of this exercise is to help you manipulate your Spirit Energy into a weapon just in case you can’t use your other powers. Now I want you to gather your Spirit Energy into a ball.

Gwen: All right.

Gwen closes her eyes and concentrates hard until a glowing ball of energy the size of a cantaloupe appears between her hands.

Genkai: Good, good. Now try to shape it into a weapon.

Gwen concentrates and moves her hands as if she was about to shoot a bow and arrow; the energy she had gathered in her hands reforms into a large bow with an energy arrow in the middle.

Gwen: Cool, Spirit Arrows. I can deal with that.

Genkai: *has an apple in her hand* Now try to hit this. *throws the apple so high, nobody can see it*

Gwen: Okay. *draws her bow back* SPIRIT ARROWS!!

She lets the arrow fly into the air until it is no longer seen. After 5 minutes, the apple falls to the ground in front of her sensei with the energy arrow pierced right through the core.

Gwen: Cool! I could DEFINITELY get used to this!

Kuwabara: So, Nano. Keiko told me that when you picked her up, you carried all of your luggage on your shoulders. *looks at her arms* No offense, but you don’t look that strong to me. (A/N: BIG MISTAKE!)

Nano: Well, how about we arm wrestle and I’ll show you. Put your muscles where your mouth is!

ALL: OOOOOOHHH!

Kuwabara: Nah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Nano: What’s the matter? CHICKEN!? *clucks tauntingly*

ALL: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Kuwabara: *rolls up his sleeves* OH, YOU ARE ON, GRANDMA!

Genkai knows what’s gonna happen and brings out a wooden arm wrestling table. Kuwabara and Nano take their places and lock their right hands together in the arm wrestling position.

Genkai: *holds both combatants hands still* Now you both know the drill. You start when I say “go”. Ready?

Nano and Kuwabara: READY! *growls*

Genkai: Three, two, one, Go!!

The match begins and Kuwabara strains as he tries to budge Nano’s hand even a millimeter. Everyone cheers the combatants on as Nano just playfully yawns at her opponent’s attempt to move her hand down-or at all.

Gwen: Come on, Grandma. I think he’s suffered enough.

Nano: Yeah, you’re right. *smirks*

Nano looks back at Kuwabara and with one swift motion, slams his hand down on the table and flips him over in the process. Kuwabara was flat on his back on the ground and had this look on his face-@.@.

Nano: *looks down at her opponent* You okay?

Kuwabara: *dizzy* LET’S GO AGAIN! LET’S GO AGAIN!

Genkai: ‘Well, YOU were the one who agreed to the arm wrestling match, Dimwit.’ *walks to Nano* Still got it!

Nano: Never LOST it! *does their special handshake* (A/N: You can make up something for that. ^_^)

Yukina: *walks out to the YYH gang* How about you guys take a break? Who’s up for lemonade?

Everyone agrees and walks in except Gwen and Nano who sit on the bench under the shade tree.

Nano: Your friends are a little.....eccentric. *smiles*

Gwen: *looks at Nano* Now THAT’S the pot calling the kettle black. *chuckles*

Nano: Speaking of “friends”, do you wish one of them was MORE than friends? Hmm?

Gwen: *tries NOT to blush* I dunno.

Nano: *looks inside and sees Kurama drinking lemonade* Well, what about that cute redhead? He seems like a good catch.

Gwen: We’re just friends, Grandma. *smiles*

Nano: *raises her eyebrow* Mmm hmm. Roo, did you forget who you’re talking to? You KNOW you can’t hide things from your NANO? The NANO KNOWS ALL! I’m an empath, remember? I know your TRUE feelings.

Gwen: Okay, then what do my TRUE feelings reveal? *looks into her grandmother’s eyes*

Nano: *looks into Gwen’s eyes and smiles* I know your heart beats faster than college band’s

drumline when you think about him. So did ya kiss him yet? *grins*

Gwen: *blushes* GRANDMA! *smiles* You always COULD read me like a book.

Nano: And I can read Red’s heart, too. Child, he’s got it bad for you! Quit wastin’ time and go on that fox hunt. TALLY HO! *laughs*

Gwen: *smiles* You are too much! *hugs* Thanks, Grandma.

Nano: Don’t thank me yet. I had a chance to go through your wardrobe and YOU NEED HELP!

Gwen: WHAT!?

Nano: I mean the tomboy thing is cute, but you need to let the guys know you can be a lady, too.

You have to dress the part.

Gwen: *sighs* Grandma....

Nano: Tell me....have you gone out with what’s his name? Camera?

Gwen: *shakes her head* Kurama...and yes once.

Nano: And you had pants on right?

Gwen: Yes.

Nano: Now that’s where you went wrong! You have an amazing figure and legs to die for. ‘So do I, but we’re not talking about me.’ That first date you had was just an appetizer; the next one you have with him will be the main course! Before, you served him hamburger; this time, serve him steak! And if you want to let him know there’s steak for dinner, you gotta let him hear it sizzle.! And there is only one way to do that.....SHOPPING SPREE!!

When she said that, ALL of the girls ran out and skidded to a halt in front of Nano.

Botan: Did you say SHOPPING SPREE!?

Keiko: CAN WE COME, PLEASE?

Nano: *laughs* Why not? I could use a few more granddaughters! Get your purses, ladies!

Girls: YAY!!!!!!!!!!! *running inside to grab their purses*

[5 minutes later......Girls get ready QUICK when it comes to shopping!]

As her friends get ready for their excursion to the local mall, Kurama has thoughts about picking up where their last date unfortunately left off.

Kurama: *walks to Gwen and whispers in her ear* Since our last date ended prematurely, would

you like to try again tonight? How about I pick you up at 6? We can catch a double feature.

Gwen: *whispers back* I’d love to.

Keiko, Botan, Shizuru and Yukina run in with their purses on their shoulders.

Keiko: Okay, Nano. We’re ready!

Nano: *chuckles* Good. Now fall in troops!

All of the girls line up behind the free-spirited leader with Gwen behind Nano. Nano brings her hand up to her lips and blows it like a bugle to the CHARGE tune.

Girls: *raises their right arms high* CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE IT!!! (A/N: I KNOW it’s from the Flintstones. Don’t own either.)

The girls march out like their going of to war...they might be...and the guys are left shaking their heads and laughing.

[Mall]

Nano and the girls exit Shizuru’s car one by one and as they walk towards the front door, a mugger who was taller than Shizuru and had the same build as Goki comes up and snatches Nano’s leather purse right off of her shoulder.

Nano: *fuming* I KNOW that little pipsqueak didn’t just jack my purse! (A/N: O.O LITTLE!?!?)

She runs after the purse snatcher and easily catches up with him, tackling him to the ground and putting him in the sharpshooter. (A/N: Again don’t own.) The whole time, she is trash talking the dude into submission.

Nano: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STEALING A HELPLESS OLD LADY’S PURSE!?!? YOU PENCIL NECKED TWERP!!

Everyone who was staring at her thought the same thing....HER, HELPLESS?? The police came over to see what the commotion was about and saw this big, burly man being taken to school by an old lady. They arrested him and laughed at him because he was taken out by Nano. She grabs her purse and brushes herself off as she walks back to the girls.

Nano: *brushes her shoulders off* Well, that was fun. Shall we, girls?

Girls: WE SHALL! *giggles*

Nano and the girls hit every clothing store in the mall buying outfits for themselves and helping Gwen shop for the perfect outfit for her next date with Kurama. Two hours later, they walk out

carrying what looked like the entire mall in bags and packages. They packed them in the back of Shizuru’s SUV and were about to pull out when a whirlwind blows people and carts out of the parking lot and stops in front of Gwen and the rest of the shopping party to reveal a human looking demon with dirty blonde hair in a ponytail and wearing a ripped tank top and jeans. (A/N: Imagine a biker dude on steroids.) He topped seven feet and was built like a brick wall. (A/N: And most likely had an I.Q. to match. LOL)

Gwen: Oh, yeah. Did I mention that I’ve been hounded by demons since I got here? *looks at the demon who is glaring at her* And YOU ARE....

Demon: *cracks his knuckles* The name’s Budokai. (A/N: If you don’t know where I got that, you need to get out more. ^_~) Enough with the pleasantries. I’m here for the girl with the Nikobo Jewels. Now which one of you is it?

Gwen: *totally annoyed* {I was actually having a good day before you showed up! You do NOT ruin a girl’s shopping spree!} I got this, Grandma.

Nano: *holds Gwen back* No, Roo. Let me. I haven’t had any action in a while.

Budokai: *laughs* And what are YOU gonna do? Knit me a sweater? Or maybe bake some cookies? Oh, oh, I got it! You’re gonna throw your dentures at me you dried up B****! (A/N: OOOOOOOOO! YOU DONE DONE IT NOW! If you thought GWEN was bad.....WHOO HOO!)

Gwen and the girls back up QUICK because they KNOW what’s about to happen!

Gwen: {Dude, YOU ABOUT TO GET TOE UP FROM THE FLO UP!} *takes out a camcorder and points it at Nano and Budokai* {I KNEW buying this was a good idea!}

Nano: *slow walks towards Budokai* YOU have NO idea what you just did! *takes off her glasses and hands them to Gwen* Hold these, Roo!

Gwen: Yes, Ma’am!

Nano: You think you’re such a BIG MAN calling a woman out of her name! *removes her purse* Take my purse, Keiko!

Keiko: *takes the purse* Yes, Ma’am!

Nano: Just WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE calling a lady that disgusting word!? *slips off her jacket* Shizuru, if you please?

Shizuru: *takes the jacket* Yes, Ma’am!

Nano: *is standing face to face with Budokai-kinda* Do you REALLY think you have to right to call me a B****?

Budokai: *looks down at Nano* THAT’S RIGHT, B****!

Nano: *cracks her neck back and forth* Okay, but you made one TEENY mistake....*picks him up and positions him for a PILEDRIVER* THAT’S MS. B**** TO YOU!!!!!!

She slams him down with authority and pulls out every wrestling and Martial Arts move and uses them on Budokai who was now screaming like a little girl! (A/N: Imagine the scream the dad does on Fairly Oddparents and that’s him-don’t own) She grabs him by the collar and pulls him up off of the ground and up to her face.

Nano: Now tell me, WHO’S YOUR GRANNY!!!!!!!!!!

Budokai: *gulps and voice cracks* You.

Nano: And who’s the B****?

Budokai: *squeaks* Me?

Nano: WORD UP!

She spins him around and launches him over the mall and out of sight making the spectators’ eyes bug out of their sockets!

Japanese boy: *points at Nano* Mama, that old lady is a SUPER SAIYAN!! (A/N: You KNOW where I got that from. ^_~ Don’t own)

Nano: OOOH, CHILD! THAT FELT GOOD! I haven’t used those moves since my honeymoon. *laughs*

Yukina: That was WICKED!

Keiko: AWESOME!!

Shizuru: Nice moves, Grandma.

Gwen: {That’s my grandma. Heaven help us all. *chuckles*}

Nano: All jokes aside, let’s get home and fix my Roo up for her hot date. Child, he’s gonna melt when he sees you.

Keiko: Especially after our make over. This time the tomboy stays home. Tonight, Kurama’s

gonna step out with a KNOCKOUT!

Gwen: {I hope Kurama can handle it. ^_~)

***End of Chapter 13***

AJ: Well, what do you think of Nano?

Yusuke: THAT is one ROCKIN’ OLD LADY!! *kneels and bows* ALL HAIL NANO, THE QUEEN OF WHOOP-@$$!

Hiei: I actually like her; she’s a cool old lady! ANY OF YOU REPEAT THAT AND I’LL KILL YOU!

Kuwabara: Forget Nano, THAT BIKE IS KICKIN’! ‘I wonder if she’ll let me ride it?’

Kurama: So what will she do to Gwen for the date?

AJ: That’s NEXT time. Thanx to all who reviewed and spread the word to your friends. Please review and review often. Until next time....

Everyone: CIAO FOR NOW!!! *laughs*

AJ: HEY! That’s MY line! *smiles*