Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Fox Games ❯ Another Chance? ( Chapter 4 )

Fox Games:

Chapter 4- Another Chance?

The next morning dawned warm and hazy, with sluggish sunlight filtering through the closed blinds of the kitsune-boy's room. Kurama awoke to his mother shaking him viciously and calling his name in a worried voice. "What is it, mother?" he asked sleepily, sitting up and rubbing slender fingers over his eyes.

"You looked…ill. Shuuichi, are you feeling alright?" her worried countenance swam before his slightly blurred vision. The events of last night rushed back into his spinning head and hit him like a train. The pounding behind his eyes felt like someone was slamming bricks into the back of his skull and his mouth was as dry and stale.

He breathed in deeply, looked up and gave his mother the most reassuring smile he could. "I'll be fine, mother. I just don't feel like myself today. I think I'll rest a bit more then maybe take a walk…" He trailed off.

"Well…if you're sure you're ok…Would you like some breakfast?"

"No thank you. I'm going to rest a bit more now." He lay back down and turned over, facing away from his mother, towards the warm sunlight coming through his blinds. He felt her weight ease off the bed and heard the springs creak. The door closed softly and Kurama breathed a sigh of relief and buried his face in his pillow. Moments later, choked sobs filled the small room, as they had so many times before. His pillow knew all too well the grief in his heart and bore it all silently and patiently. Countless times Kurama had poured out his anguish…but never to another living thing…never to anything that had a voice and could betray him to another.

Eventually the sobs ceased and the tortured boy's breathing grew steadier. Soon the only sound heard in the room was the heavy breathing of someone in a deep, dreamless sleep.

Nightmares haunted his sleep…endless whirling eddies of guilt, anguish, and denial. The scene of his failure played over and over and over again, until it became a ceaseless monotony that imprinted itself on the insides of his eyelids. Every time he closed his eyes to sleep, he saw Haven's face…that day…every time he blinked he saw the moment of his collapse…the moment when his life fell apart…the moment he ruined Haven's. Her face…those eyes…so lifeless…so empty. Her eyes…

Kurama awoke suddenly and sat straight up in bed, his sheets pooling around his slim waist. His chest heaved and his heart pounded as he looked sharply around his room, eyes bewildered and haunted. Blinking a few times, he gasped anew as Haven's eyes stared back at him from behind his lids. Empty, emotionless eyes. Eyes so cold they seemed to freeze the very air they looked through. The eyes he had seen only when he had first met his beloved, the eyes of a person who bears the scars of life's trials and tests…without any of love's ointment to sooth the ache.

Everywhere he looked, those eyes stared back at him. Getting up, he tossed on a pair of jeans and a shirt, slipped into his shoes and left the house. Running as fast as he could, he came to the park and threw himself down onto the ground beneath a tall tree. Panting, he closed his eyes and lay on his back, the sun filtering through the leafy branches above him and painting his gaunt face. Hearing a soft rustle above he opened one eye and caught a glimpse of glimmering gold and a splash of color. Sitting up quickly he half turned as he caught the blur of gold and black jumping down from the branches and darting away.

"Haven!" he called. "Wait!"

The blur paused momentarily and the shape of the slender kitsune girl came into view. She half turned towards him, but did not look at him, letting her eyes look towards the horizon. Kurama got up slowly and started to walk towards her.

"Don't come any closer!" Her steely tone rang harsh in his ears.

Freezing in place, a mask of guilt covered his face. A gust of wind blew by them, making their long hair flutter and dance like banners before it died down to a gentle breath. Haven turned her face to catch the breeze on her face and Kurama took that moment to speak. "Haven…I don't know what to say."

Her head remained facing away from him. "I know I hurt you and I know I did the one thing I promised I wasn't. I was weak and I know it! I wasn't thinking straight that day and I…I…" he paused to take a deep breath. "I'm not going to make excuses for what I did. I know it was wrong and I am ashamed of myself for ever even thinking of doing something like that." He closed his eyes as tears threatened to spill over once again. "But my actions have hurt me just as much as they have hurt you, if not more. These months you have been gone have been the worst time of my life. I've come to realize that…I can't live without you." He inhaled deeply, letting the warm, moist summer air fill his lungs. "I just hope that what I've said can make you see that I need you and I want you. Please, forgive me and be mine once more."

Ending his little speech, the fox-boy's form drooped a little more just as Haven's stiffened. Turning back to him, she met his eyes for the first time. They were liquid gold. Kurama gasped as the true kitsune who was Haven took form right before his eyes. Golden ears sprouted on top of her head and nine long, sprouted from behind her, gleaming in the sun. A fanged sneer appeared on her gorgeous face and she crossed her arms, tapping the skin with long, sharp claws. He stared in awe at the apparition before him. Haven's true form…he was the first one to see it in years. She swished her tails impatiently and glared at him through slitted eyes. "You have betrayed me…" she said, her voice rich and smooth. "I cannot take that chance again. How dare you come groveling back to me and expect MY forgiveness?!"

Kurama winced at her words and her unsympathetic tone. She slinked forward with cat-like grace and leaned down to the slightly smaller human and put her face right up to his, noses almost touching. Kurama's breath caught.

"I…will…never…love…again!" she breathed in his face. "I will never go back to you or any other. Get used to being alone Kurama, for alone you will be for the rest of your life!" She pulled back and gazed at him. Unexpectedly, her eyes clouded over and her face relaxed slightly. She seemed lost, adrift on the sea of memory, where dreams and reality collided and clashed and one could find true peace or everlasting agony.

Kurama made as if to speak, but she caught the slight movement and started out of her reverie.

And in a swirl of tails she was gone.

Kurama stood there, mouth agape, hands trembling and stared at the spot where she had been. Long moments passed before his alarmed mind finally responded to his body's need for movement. Still shaking slightly, he collapsed to the ground limply. Many more moments passed before his brain finally registered what had happened. "Noooo!" he wailed and the world went dark.