Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Live Like You Were Dying ❯ Chapter 7 ( Chapter 7 )

Hey there guys one more chapter left. Hard to believe that I may actually finish 1 fic in a reasonable time. Anyways I hope you all like this chapter.

Thank you so much to my reviewers kitsuneluvuh and whheeeI wrote it in math class today.

Once again this is a male/male pairin, so please no flames for it. Ok? You don't like then check out some of my other stories. I have a wide variety of pairings (everything but Yuri- haven't tried writin one of those- yet at least).

On with the fic-

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Fragrant roses filled Kurama's nose as he clipped another blood red rose from its family. Kurama had been home for almost weeks now and he was enjoying every minute of it. Having been so close to death had made the teen realize that he still had things that he wanted to do. His mother now knew about his horrible past, yet there was still one more thing that he still had to do. One more person needed to know a secret.

Once again the fox's appearance had drastically changed. His head was no longer covered with crimson locks, for now it was bare except for a few tiny tuffs of hair which still bravely stuck out. His emerald eyes had sunken in causing dark bags to appear on his face. His skin was now whiter then the snow that fell on the mountain tops. Joints jutted out sharply from taunt skin. No longer was he well-built for all that remained now was bones and skin.

Deep down Kurama knew that his time was nearing its end. All the false hopes in the world could not change that. So sadly, Kurama started to sign away all of his worldly processions. His extensive book collection was promised to Kaito. As was his X-box to Yusuke and his Play Station 2 to Kuwabara. His mother had already promised with her life to keep Kurama's rose garden strong and beautiful.

And Hiei. Hiei was to be promised all of Kurama's `Makai Weaponry' and `Makai Plant' books to do with as he pleased. But there was something else that he wanted to give Hiei. But he was not sure if he could.

Sighing Kurama went back to pruning his roses. Such a simple task was now tedious, for soon after joyously returning home his eyesight slowly disappeared. It was as though a veil of haze had fallen over them and refused to leave. Now he could only make out shapes and some colors. Kurama had to rely on the rest of his senses which made it hard since he was used to seeing his enemy attack.

Feeling the velvety petals Kurama's thin pale hand slowly moved down the long green stem carefully avoiding the thorns. Then slowly he moved the shears to his fingers, squeezing the handles till he felt the blades close in on his fingers. Without missing a beat he slid his fingers away from the sharp blades while snipping the rose from his life source. This was how he worked now; now that his eye sight was gone.

Behind him Kurama could hear the light clicking of heels as the slowly walked towards him. It sounded as though they were hesitant steps. Steps that were not sure of what they would find and so they walked slow ready to run any second. Any second that danger showed.

Sniffing the air Kurama's eyebrow rose slightly. He may have been an animal apparition but he could never trust his senses anymore. All of them were messed up- another sign that was end was nearing.

A gust of wind blew sending a wave of goose bumps along the back of Kurama's neck. The same wind carried the sent with it, flooding his nose. This time he was certain of the smell. Nothing else that he knew of smelt like it. It was the same smell that a summer afternoon had, but within it were traces of the winter nights.

Smiling he gathered up the cut roses. His heart slowed back down as he knew that this was not an enemy. Not a demon. Well he was a demon but not one that would attack him.

The footsteps slowed becoming more hesitant. Kurama scowled at this. Was the owner of them afraid to approach him? Yes it was true that his fan clubs slowly dispersed as he became sicker. Some were afraid of catching what he had; while others did not want to see him suffer then die. Even his friends were more hesitant to be around him. Kuwabara stayed till soon after his head trauma accident then he came up with a lousy excuse that his cat was sick. Yusuke never showed up to visit Kurama while he was in the hospital. Only after being cornered by both Hiei and Kuwabara did he reveal that he was scared. Scared to see his friend, one of the rare ones that he could actually talk to, slowly and painfully die. Kurama could not hate them. After all they were only human, even with Yusuke's half demonic nature- he still had a human's heart. He had not seen what Kurama and Hiei had both seen.

But Hiei. He was another story. Kurama was annoyed, hurt and confused all at the same time. Why was Hiei always hovering nearby, but never close enough to talk to Kurama? Why still plagued Kurama's heart. Was he afraid of `catching it' too? It surly could not be because of the thought of death. In the Makai you learn to deal with it. Or you become one of what you fear soon.

The footsteps ceased behind the bent over fox. Rustling fabric told Kurama that his arms were crossing in either annoyance or impatience. Still Kurama refused to acknowledge the figure standing behind him. After all this figure had made him wait for such a long time to talk. He could wait a few minutes before being acknowledged.

"Hn fox. Don't tell me your intelligence left when your eye sight did." Hiei tapped his foot rhythmically as he stared at the boy on the ground gathering up roses.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Of course not Hiei. I just did not know if you still knew who I was. After all it's been a long time." Kurama held up a rose close to his eyes. Squinting he tried to make out the color. Was it pink or red? He could not tell. Those were the two colors that blended in too much. They were too closely related. Just like him and Hiei.

No they were not pink and red, if anything they would be black and white. So far apart in mannerism, characteristics, and values. But they were close in some aspects, too. They both cared for the team, and for each other, and they both had seen the worst in life and the best.

Bending over Kurama's right shoulder Hiei whispered, "It's a red rose fox. And no matter how you stare at it, it will not change."

Kurama blushed as he felt the warm breath fall upon his neck sending another wave of goose bumps flooding to the surface of his skin. Quickly he threw a hand to his neck rubbing away the tiny bumps which littered it.

"Thanks Hiei." He quickly placed it with the other red ones before standing. Now was the best time. Now that Hiei was actually here Kurama could talk to him. It was now or never.

Shuffling his feet Kurama glanced over his shoulder, cursing his lack of sight. How he wanted to see that face. The same face that he had been so accustomed to see. The one that often scared people.

But more then the face itself, Kurama had always been entranced with the crimson eyes. So much emotion they held within. Many saw hate and distrust, but Kurama could see their true self. Deep within- once you got past the outer layer- was a cyclone of emotions fighting against each other. Before his eyesight left Kurama had only been able to scratch the outer later of the emotions. There were still emotions and the causes for them that were locked in deep.

"Hiei is it ok if I asked you something?" Kurama's voice quivered. If only he could see the emotions that would pass the demon's face.

Surprise crossed Hiei's face. Somehow he had half-expected to see Kurama mad at him. In some ways he almost wished that he would be. He wanted Kurama to ball up a fist and swing at him, at his face. So that he could leave with good reason. Leave and come back. But instead of being angry the fox almost looked anxious, like he had something on his mind. Something that would eat at it till nothing was left.

Kurama's head hung slightly over his right shoulder. The black blur shifted slightly in discomfort. Fearful that he may have made Hiei think about running, Kurama spun on his heels grabbing on of the hands of the tiny demon before him.

"Please just hear me out. Very quickly. Then you can leave forever if you like. Just please hear me out." This time there was not the slightest of a quiver in his words.

The determination that Hiei heard made him stay. Stay to hear what was so important.

Seeing the black figure slowly nod, Kurama relaxed. Smiling he led Hiei to a wooden bench that resided beside a tall weeping willow. Sitting Kurama stared at the tall tree behind Hiei, unsure on how to start.

Hiei stared at the etching on the back of the bench. The emerald green leaves and vines were slowly fading, the silver metal peeking through, demanded to be let out.

"Hiei." The said demon turned. Crimson met sightless emerald, locking onto each other. "I have to tell you this now. But I hope you won't hate me for it."

Hiei tilted his head, what could possibly make him hate Kurama. What could really be that horrible?

Not hearing any objections Kurama stood walking to the tree. Plucking a leaf from the others he twirled it between his thumb and pointer finger. Sighing he rested against the back of the bench, refusing to look at the man who sat staring at him.

"I've always been scared to tell you this. And it has made me have to admire you from afar. Have to keep my true feelings locked in deep. Kind of like the way you keep your feelings locked up." Kurama stared at the green blurry blob. Slowly he ripped the top off of letting the wind take it away.

"But now that my end is nearing I do not want any more regrets. No more wishing or wanting. Yes, Hiei. I truly am dying and I am not going to allow myself to be reborn in another form. I could never live after what I have had. My mind and heart would be broken knowing what I had left behind but could never see." A small chuckle escaped his lips, such irony in that last sentence, especially now.

Hiei started at the dancing leaf in Kurama's hand silent. He wanted to hear what he wanted to say. To hear the whole thing before making a decision.

"I already told my mother about who I once was. My time spent with Koenma has been my penance for my previous crimes- though all of the penance in the three worlds would never be enough. But there is still one more thing. One final thing that I must get off of my soul. Before I die." Turning he faced the demon who had once again taken a liking to the etching on the back of the bench.

"Hiei," Kurama grabbed one of his hands, "I've wanted to tell you this for a year now. I'm certain that it is true emotion, not a wish or longing. But I really love you. I love you with all my heart and soul and I-"

"Shut up!" Hiei pushed away from the bench interrupting Kurama. The fox looked hurt, breaking Hiei's heart but he had already started. So he must finish it. "Damn you. How dare you be so damn selfish? You dare to tell me that you love me?! How can you! What do you want? Someone to be with you for what?! A week! How could you even think about bringing up such a thing? No, you're not going to bring me into your boat of mourning. You can stay in it alone. All of Spirit World will mourn you, so will your friends and your mother. So why do you feel that you must drag another down. Damn you fox."

By now tears flowed from Kurama's eyes. His head had slowly bent with each harsh sentence till now his chin touched his chest. Hands clenched each other tightly, as knuckles slowly turned whiter from the lack of blood. But none of this showed how he truly felt. Deep within Kurama's heart was breaking into a million pieces.

Disgusted with how he had reacted Hiei turned away from his friend.

Kurama sat sobbing for a few minutes, before finally standing. "You're right Hiei. How selfish of me. I was wrong. I'm sorry. Just forget about everything I said." Bending over Kurama snatched the roses from their resting place. "I had better get these into mother, before they die from dehydration." Sniffling he wiped away a few stray tears and slowly walked towards the house, pausing when he was beside Hiei. "No matter how selfish it was, I still meant what I said before. I love you." Bending over he planted a light, feathery kiss on Hiei's cheek.

"Damn you fox." Hiei muttered briskly walking away from the bench. His heart ached, as tears begged to fall from dry eyes.

Why had he acted like that? Was it because he did not want Kurama to bring him down? Or was it because he was afraid of his emotions?

Confused and hurt Hiei took to the trees. Damn humans and their tiring emotions. Already Hiei had been stuck here too long, for he was beginning to feel them too.

Flitting from view Hiei ran. He ran till there was no more hurt. Then he ran some more for good measure. He had to think this out. To try to understand what to do next.

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Kurama felt around in the cabinets for a vase. The roses on the counter were already beginning to wilt. It was too soon for the lack of water to set in. Maybe they were reflecting his feelings.

Two tiny tears fell splashing on his knee. Maybe he was wrong for telling Hiei. Had he really been selfish to proclaim his love for Hiei? Should he had told him a year ago, when he had first felt the ping of love.

That day was still clear in Kurama's mind. It had been raining, a cold winter's rain. And Hiei, yet again, was outside when it started. Just like always he had gone running for Kurama's room seeking shelter. And Kurama invited him in, urging the demon to warm up by taking a hot shower while Kurama grabbed soup and tea. Hiei graciously ran for the bathroom.

Chuckling Kurama had gone downstairs to fix some chicken noodle soup and some hot tea, knowing that as a fire demon Hiei could not deal with such temperature differences. Once the soup was bubbling and the tea kettle whistled its annoying whistle, Kurama carefully bounded up the stairs.

And there he was with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. Kurama could not help but to stare. Large rippling muscles moved rhythmically with each breath. Strong arms rung out his cape, shaking the last drops of water that still clung from the black fabric. And the towel, barely hanging around his waist, traveled to a dangerous level.

From that day on, Kurama had realized what he had felt for the fire demon all along. Ever since that first day that they had met. And again on the day that he had stolen the Forlorn Hope. And why he still helped out- even after his probation was up. As long as Hiei was around Kurama could be seen close by.

"You know, that could get tiresome after a while." His mother's sweet voice shook him from his depressing thoughts. Then Kurama realized what his mother had meant. In his hands he held the crystal vase. Kurama was squatting and teetering, close to falling on his butt.

Smiling slightly he rose scooping up the flowers roughly throwing them into the vase. Splashing water into it he roughly sat them on the tiny round oak table.

Why had Hiei denied his love? Why had he had to be so rough about it? Could he had been a little more merciful, kinder, loving about it? Instead of damning the fox then proceeding to break his heart with every venomous statement.

Sighing miserably Kurama took to the stairs to his room. He wanted nothing more but to be alone. Alone to his thoughts and his misery.

Slowly feeling his way pas his dresser, his closet and his desk Kurama sprawled out on his bed. There he cried his heart out into the white pillow. He cried till no tears were left, then he cried some more. Kurama slowly reached up to wipe away his stray tears that had refused to run to the pillow with their friends.

There on that small bed, Kurama laid certain that he would die of a broken heart right at that second. For nothing would make it all better.

His lungs slowly froze catching his breath. Unable to take in any air the teen panicked. His lungs burned for air as his eyes stung. His tiny heart pumped twice as fast as fear built up.

The darkness that he had not felt for two weeks was slowly coming back. It crept up his toes reaching out its black tentacles to his knees. From there it slowly crept up engulfing the teen. Threatening to take his young life.

Closing his eyes Kurama waited for it to completely take him. He knew that nothing would help. Already his lungs were bursting from the lack of air. His head pounded as the darkness once again took him.

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Uh so how was it? A little longer then usual (7 whole pages) but there's only one more chapter.