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| "Ginga GIRI GIRI! The Universe is in Danger!" Reviews/Comments [ 16 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] | Title: Too much bone and little flesh
Reviewed By: razorknight [MediaMiner Member] On: May 18, 2005 07:05 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've read this fic up to episode 10, and so far, I notice two flaws. One, it's mostly dialogue, and two, you only have character interaction, but little, if any, character development. This fic is large, that's a given, but I've seen fics a tenth the size with a hundred times more descriptivity. I don't like describing a lot, true, but I also hate it when there's so little description, I can't visualize what you're writing about. If you can't make the reader feel like he's a part of the universe (or multiverse) you're creating, then the fic's a failure, no matter it's size. As my review's title says, this fic has too much bone and too little flesh.
| Title: Umm.....
Reviewed By: QOL On: March 31, 2005 19:14 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you write so much!!!!!!! This would make an interesting manga, and anime tv show. i've decided that in this review i will use up all of the characters. Did you know that i'm not even on chapter 98, i just went down to the furthist chapter and decided to review. Yeah, but really how do you right so much, i mean each of your chapters must be at least 7 pages long. I did right a story with really long chapters, but i didn't even get past the fourth one. Although, that does sort of make your story monotanous. I started when you had chapter like 31, and i'd feel really sorry for the person that started reading it now, because it'd just go on for ever yah know? It's kind of like this review. Maybe i should be this dedicated to my writing. well there are 703 characters left. I still have to keep going. You know, my friend Tsuka-chan would absolutly freak if she saw this story, she gets mad when i write five pg chapters. Your chapters are super long and you've got 98 of them! i mean how long can you get. Characters left: 425 I think you must be either really dedicated of stupid to write that much. Did you ever include Full Metal Alchemist with this? You should make a squeal as soon as i'm done reading this one. I bet alot of anime creaters would like your story, no clue why i just think they would. Okay i running out of character, so if i suddenly stop you know why. My Email is lil_ms_talksalot@yahoo.com. LOL that name's doing it's job right now.
| Title: Umm.....
Reviewed By: QOL On: March 31, 2005 19:08 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How do you write so much!!!!!!! This would make an interesting manga, and anime tv show. i've decided that in this review i will use up all of the characters. Did you know that i'm not even on chapter 98, i just went down to the furthist chapter and decided to review. Yeah, but really how do you right so much, i mean each of your chapters must be at least 7 pages long. I did right a story with really long chapters, but i didn't even get past the fourth one. Although, that does sort of make your story monotanous. I started when you had chapter like 31, and i'd feel really sorry for the person that started reading it now, because it'd just go on for ever yah know? It's kind of like this review. Maybe i should be this dedicated to my writing. well there are 703 characters left. I still have to keep going. You know, my friend Tsuka-chan would absolutly freak if she saw this story, she gets mad when i write five pg chapters. Your chapters are super long and you've got 98 of them! i mean how long can you get. Characters left: 425 I think you must be either really dedicated of stupid to write that much. Did you ever include Full Metal Alchemist with this? You should make a squeal as soon as i'm done reading this one. I bet alot of anime creaters would like your story, no clue why i just think they would. Okay i running out of character, so if i suddenly stop you know why. My Email is lil_ms_talksalot@yahoo.com. LOL that name's doing it's job right now. C | Title: XD (massive laughter)
Reviewed By: EdwardWongHauPepleuTivruskyIV [MediaMiner Member] On: December 23, 2004 16:48 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I laughed about every five seconds in this fanfic, literally. C'mon how can you not find three random kids who magically show up in an anime world catching anime characters in Poke (Bishie) Balls, jesus it's hilarious, check it out!
| Title: Uh Christ mas isn't for another few months...
Reviewed By: QOL On: July 28, 2004 22:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
I just wanted to let you know that christmas isn't for another few mounths.
| Title: Uh Christ mas isn't for another few months...
Reviewed By: QOL On: July 28, 2004 22:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
I just wanted to let you know that christmas isn't for another few mounths.
| Title: So yeah...
Reviewed By: ssjheero [MediaMiner Member] On: July 20, 2004 23:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yo, QOL Thanks for liking my fic and all. I know Freckles is the RK opening in NA, and I know that Heart of Sword is also the closing in NA. Sobakasu translates into "Freckles" and is the first opening of RK in Japan, and TACTICS is the first closing. I liked TACTICS more than Heart of Sword anyway.
| Title: You Should haver used the Rurouni Kenshin Music!
Reviewed By: QOL On: July 18, 2004 23:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay I have just one thing to say. You should have use "freckles" the Rurouni Kenshin theme in N/A. Second "heart of the Sword" is the ending theme (i just got finished listining to it.) Check'm out at http://www.gpetz.com/- QOL
| Title: It's me again!
Reviewed By: Amy (can't bother to log in today) On: May 10, 2004 01:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Chapter 7 was probably my favorite chapter so far and the funniest, including Chapter 8...or was it 9, when Rinoa and Amiko (sorry if that's spelled wrong) were fighting over Squall. I really liked Shadow Lady, Crimson Cat Shadow Lady, and what's the other one...oh right! The Blue Bird Shadow Lady! The thing that kinda bothered me was that you kept repeating their full names, even their initials, like BBSL. Why don't you just call her, the Blue Lady instead...since you mentioned she was the Blue Bird Shadow Lady before or just Crimson Lady for Crimson Cat Shadow Lady? Another thing is your format...some of the sentences you have capitalize cut off and don't actually continue to the other side of the page. Anyway, I'm sure that's not your fault. Lastly, you do have a lot of author's note before, after, and even within your fanfiction. Before and after is okay...but within the fanfiction...it was hard to follow sometimes, especially when you mentioned Metal Gear (or something like that)...I've never seen, so I don't know exactly what your talking about. An example of this would be, "Since the author is too lazy to type the 50 billion battles this will be short with the main contenders fighting like so..." That part completely threw me off from what was going on. I think you need to cut back some of the author notes. I know you want to be original, but sometimes too much is just overdoing it. Anyway, I hope to continue reading more of your fanfiction. I think the most interesting character in this story is Amiko, because she's just too funny and she can also kick butt, that's what I like about her:-)
| Title: I see...
Reviewed By: ssjheero [MediaMiner Member] On: May 09, 2004 12:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
AmyAnderson: Point taken, and I slightly revised chapter 6. Thanks for the comments, though.
| Title: Hmm...I noticed you repeat yourself.
Reviewed By: AmyAnderson45 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 08, 2004 01:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I re-read your fanfiction from Chapters 1-6, since I've been so busy the last couple of weeks; I had forgotten a majority of the story. It's still pretty long, even for me to finish reading. Anyway, I seriously noticed that you repeat certain words over and over again...within a sentence or two. There's one scene in the jungle, where all the characters are searching for something to eat...was this Chapter 4 or was it 5? You repeated "jungle" like three or even four times in a row I believe...in just that one paragraph or two. You might want to add different terms to mean the same thing, jungle could be "tropical forest," "tropical rainforest," or even "wooded area," or something to that effect. Another example is when you repeated "head" like two or three times, like one after the other. Just try not to repeat the same words, because sooner or later, it will become repetitive. Anyway, it happens to me sometimes, but at least some of my words that I repeat are in another section, which ranges from 1,000 to 2,000 words a part…depending. I'm not perfect, but once in a while I might repeat a word or two in the same chapter, but not in the same paragraph or in the next sentence that I repeated the first one. Well, continue writing! Your story is so far so good!
| Title: To Respond:
Reviewed By: ssjheero [MediaMiner Member] On: April 28, 2004 00:45 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
AmyAnderson45: Indeed, I revised them, but I was planning to revise them anyway. (My later chapters ended up being so full of description that I thought, "Hell, just make THE WHOLE THING like that." So I did.) Another thing to consider is that the earlier chapters were written some years ago (summer 2000, believe it or not), rewritten, and finally rewritten YET AGAIN in the new style. So when you first reviews, I think you read the original rewrite, which I admit was pretty bad. I can say I like the current incarnation, though. Also, I say "TM" and "SSJ" because there's a Heero and a Trunks in the story, and I don't like wasting time going through "SSJ Heero" and "Trunks Maxwell" all the time. Besides, it's their internet names anyway (as revealed in like chapter 14), so they're shortened all the time. But thanks for the comments. Yeah, since this story is extra long, I devote a whole bunch of time I would have used for nothing much better (video games) for writing. I like writing, after all. *** Sephlier: Well, thanks. I try to restrict my use of Japanese in the story to characters who are, uh, Japanese. (Amiko is half-Japanese, along with later characters.) But, I may end up letting others say Japanese or two for parody reasons or just because. Yeah, I may be showing off the Japanese I learned in class, but I try not to do it a lot. (At least I think I do.) Thanks for the comment, anyway.
| Title: You improved! Good for you!
Reviewed By: AmyAnderson45 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 27, 2004 07:36 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You actually revised your chapters! That's good! I didn't think you would, because you have at least 343 pages...that's a lot of work! You're almost there, but there's just one main thing that I noticed. You still have the initials of your characters TM and SSJ. It would be better if you just wrote out their full name like Heero...is that spelled right? Anyway, I'm happy to see your fanfiction again and I hope to read more of your story. Congratulations! You are now on my favorite stories list:-)
| Title: Good Use Of Akeboshi
Reviewed By: sephlier(slowly working on reading this through) On: April 27, 2004 00:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm not going to rate this because I am still trying to find time to read it all the way through without skimming (sorry, I have been very busy and it is getting very late) I am not familiar with the Naruto (sp?) anime but I do know this song. I LOVE "Wind" by Akeboshi ^_^ It is rather beautiful and carries an EXTREMELY hefty message. This is the first fanfiction that I have come across that uses this song (closing or otherwise PERIOD). One thing I may be a little harsh on is your use of language (it might just be me that feels this way) I have been speaking and writing in German for three years yet I don't write it in any of my stories (I am slowly learning Japanese via tutor granted) Use of languages outside of your own (please understand, I have not read your bio so I do not know where you are from or your language designation) may come off as being "show-offy" to certain viewers...while in some other cases it might spark another viewers interest in learning other languages...it all depends really. Although it may not seem like it, I am not trying to put any one down (especially you the author...and as I have said I have only had time to skim this particular story...I am working on reading more of it ^_^) I apologize if my comments are a little off (or my attitude a little harsh) Whatever path you choose is your own, yes. Good luck!!
| Title: ITS AWESOMEEEEE
Reviewed By: TM On: March 31, 2004 23:35 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
dude, this is awesome a$$ fanfic! ! R 733T to the maxxorz.... i give it 3 thumbs up and 10 in all areas! wootzors!
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