Title: Needs a little work
Reviewed By: LadyLark [MediaMiner Member] On: October 21, 2004 15:11 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok . . . you have a good start here, but you need to work on a few things. I know that this is being written primarily in diary format, but you still need more description and less jumping. This isn't bad. It just isn't as good as it could be. Also you need to flesh out your OC more, right now she is bordering on Mary-Suedom if only because she does not have enough depth. I hope this helps.
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