|"Facade" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ]|
| Reviewed By: Recluse On: August 30, 2010 01:19 CDT|
I found this to be highly OOC. First off, Kinta only got into Q class thanks to the rest of the team and his own intuition/luck. Second, as far as the anime and manga show, Kinta left home long before he got into DDS, and his parents are still alive. :/ Other than that, neat writing style; you manage to pull off a detailed foray into the psyche of someone dealing with grief and regret while trying to keep up a strong front well.
| Reviewed By: Unmei_tenshi On: May 11, 2005 12:33 CDT|
Style of Writing: 10 of 10Comment/Review:
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10
^^ Very nice job on this, dear. I love your style of writing. The way your words flow and how cogent they are makes the story enjoyable. Personally, I had never gone so deep as to think about Kinta's POV, but now that I've read this, I do believe I feel a bit closer to the poor guy. Great job. :3 Please write more TGQ fanfics!! ~Unmei_Tenshi
| Title: FFARG Review|
Reviewed By: LadyLark [MediaMiner Member] On: May 04, 2005 00:18 CDT
This is an interesting read and insight into one of the characters. Admitedly, I have only seen the first episode of the anime, so I can't comment on characterization much. However I can make a few story suggestions. The first is to flesh out the repercussions of his parents death. While it works as a flashback, it would work better as a longer story that shows how much he has withdrawn and so makes Dan's faith in him that much stronger. Second, you have a habit of using a string of complex vocabulary right in the beginning of descriptive scenes. You might want to watch this. Many readers get turned off at what they see as pretentiousness. It is something that I have to watch for in my own writing, so I am not making this up ^_^ Now onto the good. You have solid grammar and a good character voice. You also have a good understanding of where the series is coming from. I loved the flash of insight as he realized the cause of the accident. And as Halo pointed out, you did do the flashback transition well. Keep up the good work and it is nice to see a more obscure fandom get some fic. Thank you for submitting to FFARG!
| Title: FFARG Review|
Reviewed By: Chibi Halo [MediaMiner Member] On: April 28, 2005 22:56 CDT
I have to commend you for having the guts to post what could be the first story for this series on MM. It takes guts to to be the first one. I for one enjoyed this fic. I haven't been watching DSQ all that long and you did a great job with this fic. It flowed well and gave a good look into why Kinta acts the way he does. The self doubt of his skills was a good touch considering what he went through in the flashback, which I didn't even know was a flashback until you had him snapped out of his daydreaming in the middle of the class. You went from flashback to present day seemlessly. That's something most writers don't do very well and you pull it off beautifully.