Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Feel Me, Shame Me, Heal Me ❯ For My Loved One ( Chapter 22 )

Disclaimer: What makes you think I could possibly own this? Just where are you getting your information? honestly!

 

Summary: Winry determined to find the Elric brothers, headed to Central. Life is definitely full of surprises, and she certainly didn't expect this one.

 

 

Feel Me, Shame Me, Heal Me

Episode 22—For My Loved One

 

“Stop right where you are.” The sounds of guns clicking were aimed at two members of the Walker family who held their hands up and turned around, as Travin, Alex and Terry rushed to finish the job.

 

Roy felt his heart pound painfully in his chest as he saw Winry and Scieszka who had both been struggling hard against the kidnappers were practically thrown into the back of the truck, the doors slammed and the vehicle started up. Roy felt his blood boil in pure fury. Those bastards were not going to get away and he would kill them on the spot if necessary. “Havoc, Hawkeye and Maes, chase after them in one of the cars and get them to pull over that damn truck anyway you can.” He ordered. “Breda and Fuery you come with me.” He then pointed to a few of the other soldiers around, “You few follow after Havoc in case there is trouble and they are over powered.”

 

“Yes, Sir!” erupted from every soldier there and they all jumped to their orders.

 

Riza sped up and cut off the truck and forced it to go several different directions than the ones the truck driver obviously planned on. She just couldn't let it get on the main road out of the city. She held her gun out the window, “I'll blow the tire.”

 

“No, don't. You might cause the truck to flip over.” Maes said as he opened the passenger side door. “Try to get up along side it and I'll jump onto the back and make my way inside to the women.”

 

“You are far too heroic, Maes.” Havoc said with a shake of his head.

 

Maes smirked, he was used to doing things like this. In fact, doing something similar was how he met the Elrics for the first time. “I don't care about that, we've gotta get that truck to stop. We've gotta help those women. Nothing else matters.”

 

Riza pressed the gas and the car sped up driving along side of the truck, and Maes carefully stepped out onto the footstep, the wind whipping wildly against him. He gritted his teeth and knowing he only had one chance at this, or else he was going to end up as pavement hamburger. He leapt from the car to the back of the truck, banging loudly against the side, where he gripped the handle and kicked his legs wildly as he struggled to get footing onto the back step and bumper. He almost lost his grip as he felt his foot slip off the metal and he again swung around and banged even louder against the back door. He clashed his teeth together harder and struggled to pull himself up against the back of the truck. His feet finding proper hold.

 

He managed to get a decent hold and gripped the handle of one of the doors and turned it. Riza was watching him and stayed close until he struggled to pull one of the doors opened. When she saw him swing himself inside, she sped up even faster towards the cab figuring he was safe inside. She pointed her gun at the window of the truck's cab.

 

“What are you doing?” Havoc asked slightly worried.

 

“I'm going to blow out their window.” She replied.

 

“But what if you actually hit them?” Havoc asked.

 

Riza snorted, “Then they shouldn't have tried to kidnap women to sell them.” She turned towards the window.

 

Breda sped up in one of the military vehicles as Roy had rolled down the window on the passenger side, he slid out of the window and clung with one hand.

 

“Turn right!” Fuery said from the back, “Turn right now!”

 

Turning in that direction it managed to force the truck to turn right and Roy who was half way out, clung even harder so he would have been thrown from the fast moving vehicle and that would probably kill him. “Idiots! Next time warn me before you do that!” He was in no mood for mistakes; he all he saw was violent red at those who dared to steal Winry to sell her to some sick and twisted asshole that would only hurt her. Rage was blinding his rational thought and the only thing Roy wanted was Travin Walker's blood.

 

Lifting his right hand that was wrapped in his pyrotex glove he snapped his fingers and sent a mighty blaze in the direction of the truck which made the driver turn sharply to avoid getting hit with the blast, it seemed to explode around them. Roy saw that head of them was a line of trees and that perhaps he could get the truck to stop by using them as some kind of barrier. He sent several more fiery blasts to the thick trees in the lines.

 

The driver managed to lose control of the truck as another blast was actually sent his way that the truck started to spin out of control before it straightened out but it didn't have enough time to as it hit full force into a blazing tree trunk.

 

Hawkeye was thrown by the force of the truck hitting the tree but she landed in a soft pile of hay. She was breathing hard and knew she'd have terrible pains as soon as her adrenaline stopped pumping into her veins. She noticed they were several miles out of Central. She hurried and got up out of the hay pile and staggered back to the truck. She witnessed Travin punch the driver and she hurried to the window and pulled her other gun from her left side holster and pointed it threw the window at the same time as pulling the hammer back, Travin held his hands up in surrender.

 

Breda stopped the vehicle and Roy kicked the passenger door open. He was far from controlled even if he appeared so. His obsidian eyes betrayed the fierce anger and promise of pain burning its way heavily inside him. Going over to the truck, he pushed Hawkeye out of the way and gripped the door handle and wrenching the door open. Without hesitation and a moment for anyone react, Roy had reached up and grabbed a hold of Travin's shirt and yanked him roughly from the cab. He threw him violently on the ground.

 

Roy said not a word as the stunned Travin tried to scoot back but was immediately descended upon by an enraged Roy who's only thought in his head was to punish him for hurting Winry, for trying to steal her because no doubt he would rape her, and beat her and make her…he made a small enraged grunt at the horrible visions that clouded Roy's mind and he proceeded to hold Travin down and started to bash him repeatedly in the face. The sound of his knuckles hitting the bone in Travin's face again and again, he swore he could hear it cracking and splintering. There was so much blood, it was splattering everywhere and it felt good on his face, neck, shirt, and coating his hand, it was almost music to his ears. All Roy kept wanting was to kill this bastard. I will kill him and he won't hurt Winry ever again! No one will steal her, no one will rape her, no one, no one!

 

—Roy's eyes popped open, as he could feel his heart thundering and thick sweat was sliding down his face. Glancing around the room wildly, he found it still dark out. He lifted his arm and wiped the sweat from his face. Usually he was warm, but right now he felt cold… the warm body that was usually beside him was not. He flattened his hand over the bed feeling for her. She was gone.

 

He bolted upright. “Winry?” Roy didn't hear her voice. “Winry?” He said a little louder and about to get up from the bed.

 

The sounds of rapid footsteps came from the doorway and he turned towards it finding Winry's figure rushing in.

 

“What's the matter?” She asked, worried.

 

“Where were you?” Roy asked as she kneeled on the side of the bed and crawled over to him.

 

Winry's brow arched, “I went to the bathroom.”

 

Roy released a flood of air, and he stared downward at his lap. “Oh.” Her felt her hand on his face, cupping his cheek and he looked up at her, seeing her sympathetic expression.

 

“Don't get paranoid on me now, Roy.” Winry said knowing what he was worried about.

 

“I know, I know.” He ran his hand frustrated through his hair. `I've never cared about someone like this before, and all these strange feelings are new to me.' “Are you all right?”

 

She shook her head, “I'm not sure. I can't stay asleep for very long.” Winry didn't want to say that she had a nightmare, she felt really embarrassed over it. Staring downwards, she felt Roy's hands cover over both of hers, where he gripped them and tugged her towards him. She crawled closer and snuggled up against his side. “Even though it's over, it still doesn't feel like it is.”

 

Roy stroked her forehead over to her temple, “I know the feeling. The worst part of it for me was worry that I wouldn't get to you in time.”

 

Winry clung tighter. “I have no idea what happened on the outside. Just that you saved my life yet again and I wish there were more I could do to thank you—”

 

“Shh, no more thanks. It's not necessary.” Roy said softly while he traced her cheek with his index finger. Closing his eyes, he rested his cheek against the top of her head and breathed in deeply. “Yes…you being here is good enough thanks for me.”

 

The room was very quiet, and Winry snuggled into him more. She felt his hand drop to her shoulder and she placed hers on his stomach. Would it be selfish of her to say what she was feeling? Would she be forcing him to hear it? One wouldn't think that the heart was a truly fragile thing, as it takes so much for feelings to grow, but it takes a small sliver to break it entirely like glass.

 

Ignoring all the logical reasons and that it will probably make him retreat from her.

 

She opened her mouth and lifted her head, looking at him.

 

And found him fast asleep, a pretty smile caressed her lips at the very sweet sight. Winry softly stroked the side of his face with her gentle fingers and leaned up closer to his ear. “I love you.” She softly said and then nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck and squeezed him tightly. “Even though you can't hear me, this was probably the best way to tell you.”

 

Her eyes soon drifted closed, as she pressed into the one that made all her fears melt away.

 

****

 

Warmth was spreading through her entire body, and she tingled pleasantly. Her brow crinkled. She shifted and was hit with a sudden rush of feeling. Her eyes slowly opened to the morning light, trying to figure out why she was feeling like this. She felt lips on the back of her neck and the man's hand squeezed her breast and Winry let out a soft sigh, before turning her head. Seeing a very smug expression on Roy's face, “What are you doing?” She asked quietly, her voice slightly heavy from sleep.

 

He grinned, “Just playing.” Roy kissed her cheek, slowly dragging his lips over to her ear, while his hand on her breast squeezed again, and rubbed her nipple through her shirt. His other hand was gliding down her stomach, “Open your legs for me.” He said reaching the hem of her panties.

 

Winry took a deep breath, and let her thighs part and his fingers moved down beneath her panties. His finger brushing her bundle of nerves and she shuddered, biting her lower lip at the amazing sensations. She actually groaned out loud when his finger disappeared into her warmth. “Roy, it's too early in the morning for this.” She swallowed hard.

 

“Nonsense,” He lightly nipped the shell of her ear. “It's never too early, it's never too late. And I'll never get enough of you.” Roy started tugging her shirt up, bearing her beautiful breasts to his eyes. “So lovely,” He said softly, closing his eyes he feathered his lips over the swell of her right breast then moving to the tight bud. Roy felt her fingers in his hair and he softly moaned closing his mouth over her sensitive tip and sucking it hard, while swirling it with his tongue.

 

Her heart was pounding, and even though Roy was making her feel so good, she pushed him back and he looked at her in disbelief. She almost laughed out loud at the shock at her pushing him from her. “I could use a shower.” She said.

 

“Right now?” Roy, who never let confusion get to him, was actually expressing it very openly with his shocked reaction.

 

“Yes, right now.” Winry swung her legs over the side of the bed, standing with her back to him. “Perhaps you need one too.” She started walking away from him while grabbing the hem of her shirt and lifting it up over her head to drop it behind her. As she was heading for the bedroom doorway, Winry gripped the waist of her panties and started to slide them off her hips.

 

Roy sat there for a moment longer, pondering what just happened? She had never pushed him from her like that. Then her words of `Perhaps you need one too.' Echoed in his mind as well as her stripping along the way to the bathroom, and he felt his mouth arch up in that familiar smirk. “That little tease,” He quietly said in amusement before rising to his feet and heading towards the bathroom himself.

 

Stepping into the bathroom, the sound of the water along with the steam was a very welcoming atmosphere. He took a glance in the mirror and realized perhaps he too needed a shower, there were still some remnants of blood in different places on his face, and his clothing was simply not appropriate for him to be wearing if he was going to be with Winry.

 

Shedding his clothing, he gripped the glass shower door handle and slid it open. Roy's breath caught at Winry standing beneath the spray like a water goddess, as the water cascaded in small pearl like drops down her slender neck, over her beautiful curving breasts, to her exquisite middle and running down her hips as if caressing them. Her long blonde hair, heavy and like silk, clung to her back. She turned in his direction, her eyes fluttering open.

 

He would make sure that she took some of that green birth control fluid after this nice, hot shower.

 

“Sure took you long enough.” She said with a playful smirk of her own and was immediately crushed in Roy's arms his mouth taking hers hard. She moaned and arched into him as his flattened hand moved down her wet body over her backside and he squeezed the flesh making her shift into him and groan into his mouth. Winry reached behind him for the door handle of the shower, her fingers lightly passing over it, before she gripped it tightly and slid it closed.

 

Her hands slid into his wet hair and he sharply yanked his mouth from hers and then fastening his lips to her neck and throat. She fell back against the tile wall with a soft `grunt' and he went with her, pressing his body up against hers as he kissed her again and again.

 

He moaned at the feel of her hand wrapping around his hard arousal, and he bit down on her lower lip making her squeak, before soothing the sharp pain with the tip of his tongue pulling a soft, sigh from her. Winry squeezed her hand a little and Roy panted feeling that soft hand slid up and down his length.

 

The next thing she knew, Winry was lifted and her legs wrapped around his waist as she was pressed against the shower wall and Roy's hardness was buried completely inside her. His hands gripping her backside as he plunged her down onto him as he thrust up hard into her heat. Winry's arms wound around his neck as she clung tightly to him. Her gasps and noises of pleasure and that of skin against skin, echoed in the small space.

 

Winry had barely felt the shower water turn cold; she was much too hot already to really notice with the way Roy kept raising her hotter and higher. This was a great start to the brand new day after everything that has happened. Nothing could spoil this. Life was good.

 

 

Maes handed Roy a form that had a list of names. “After some tortur—er I mean persuasion the Walkers gave me this list of the clients that they actually knew of, so I figured I'd hand over the evidence to you since a particular name on it might be beneficial to your career.” He noticed Roy was staring intently at the desktop and certainly not paying attention. “Roy.” He nudged him and the man seemed to jump, startled.

 

It was true; Roy had been spacing out a lot lately. There were too many other things occupying his thoughts. He didn't want to admit it as he was never one to lose his concentration. He looked up at Maes as the man waved the form in front of his face. He took the paper and looked it over.

 

Clearing his throat, Maes crossed his arms over his chest. He knew Roy well enough to know when the man was completely lost. “You haven't heard a word I said, have you?” He knew it had only been three weeks since Winry was almost stolen away; maybe Roy hadn't gotten over the effects yet. “What were you thinking about?”

 

Pushing the chair back from the desk, Roy stood up and folding his hands behind his back he started pacing. “You wouldn't call me stupid, would you, Maes?”

 

“Not to your face.” Maes smirked and saw his friend's dark brow arch, “I'm just kidding. No, Roy you're not stupid. Very far from it, you're one of the smartest people I know, why?”

 

“Then how did I let myself care about someone before I fulfilled my promises.” Roy stared at the floorboards, his eyes narrowed. “This was not part of the plan. I find myself drifting off in thinking about her; I'm certainly not concentrating on my ultimate goal as much as I should be. I should only care about becoming Fuehrer and doing anything to get to the top. But I don't anymore. How did I get to be this…?” He couldn't even finish his comment he was so furious with himself.

 

Maes leaned against the side of the desk, “Roy, you're being too hard on yourself. You're only human, after all. Even you have a right to be happy.”

 

“I don't have that right, not now. Not when there's blood still on my hands.” Roy said while squeezing his hands into fists while glancing at them. “She's a big distraction, but I can't really imagine life without her now. Somehow everything has become about her. I have become selfish, how I want to protect her, to see that nothing unfortunate ever happens to her. Somehow my priorities have changed and she has been pushed ahead of everything else.” He lifted his head, his eyes connecting with Maes' “I want to marry her, Maes. I want her to share my life, but I am not worthy of her.”

 

“It seems like you are rather stuck, Roy.” Maes said with a chuckle. “So what's the worst that could happen if you married her?”

 

“She could end up dead or used against me.” He sighed, “I don't know if I can sentence her to a dangerous life with me. She deserves far better than that, far better than me.”

 

Maes stood, walked towards him and sharply lifted his hand where he smacked Roy upside the head and the raven haired man flinched sharply and not to mention furiously. “Now you're being an idiot.” He noticed the death glare but paid no attention to it. “Have you even bothered to find out how she feels? Who are you to decide if you are not worthy of her. Let her decide that. If you want to marry that girl, then stop acting like such a coward and do something about it! Telling yourself over and over again that you aren't worthy is just an excuse. You are not a coward Roy. You seem to think you are, but you are one of the bravest out here, now do something and prove it to yourself. Tell her how you feel.” He headed to the door, gripping the handle he looked over his shoulder back at his friend, “Sometimes I wonder about you, Roy. You can command a whole military company. And knowing its death at trying to usurp the government you're doing it anyway, but you can't tell a young lady that you love her? Hmm, yes, I wonder about you.” Pulling the door open, Maes left Roy with that final thought.

 

Leaving Military Headquarters, Maes walked towards the deli that was near the bakery. He walked passed the deli's window and saw Winry sitting there having lunch and she was alone.

 

The door's bell jingled as Maes opened the door and stepped inside. He pulled off his coat and draped it over his arm while he headed right to Winry's table, and she looked up at him, her cheeks full of what appeared to him to be some of her roast beef sandwich. He waited until she swallowed down the bite before he spoke. “Are you by yourself?”

 

Winry smiled, “Yeah. You're not going to lecture me on being alone, are you?” her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

 

“No, I'm not. Aren't you a little concerned after all that's happened though?”

 

Shrugging, Winry leaned back in her chair. “Not really, I mean sure I am a little more cautious now, but I'm not going to put my life on hold because something bad could happen. That's no way to live.” She then gestured to the empty seat across from her. “Would you like to sit down, or were you just following me?” Winry teased.

 

Maes grinned, “I was in the mood for some lunch here myself, so it was merely coincidence that I saw you as I was walking up.” He pulled the empty chair back and sat down. “So how have things been going, I know we haven't really had a chance to speak since the `incident'.”

 

“Well the business is going okay, I heard from Ed and Al. They'll be back in Central soon.” She stared at her half eaten food.

 

“And how are you going to handle that?” He leaned closer and lowered his voice, “what's going to happen with you and Roy when those boys get here?”

 

Winry smoothed her hand through her hair and rested her forehead in her hand, propping her head up with her elbow on the table in distress. “Ed's gonna kill me.” She sighed.

 

“Maybe you should be honest with Edward and Alphonse.” Maes suggested.

 

“I don't think Ed will want to hear it, he might even tune it out. He's got enough to worry about. I can't be selfish and put his attention on me when it needs to be on himself and his brother.” Winry saw the disbelief on Hughes' face. “I can see you don't believe me that you think I'm just making up an excuse in why I'm neglecting to tell Ed and Al. If I really thought it would have a positive outcome I would tell them. They're my best friends and they do have a right to know.”

 

“You and Roy sneak around enough as it is, I do not think this is a good idea. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, Winry, but you have to be smart about this.” He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table, “I can see why Roy would keep his involvement with you out of the public eye, but you shouldn't keep it from your friends.”

 

Winry laughed but it wasn't from amusement. “You don't know Ed like I do. He flies off the handle for the stupidest things.” She started twirling her finger along a design in the table. “So I can imagine how he's going to react if I go to him and say, `oh by the way Ed, while you were off with your brother trying to find a way to get your bodies back after a horrific experience, I've been screwing the guy you dislike most.' Sorry, Mr. Hughes, but I'm not going to tell them yet.”

 

“I guess I can see your point,” Maes said with a nod. He knew about Ed's moments of temper where he can easily fly off the handle for no reason. So perhaps Edward knowing about Roy being with Winry was not a wise move at this time. He knew Roy's feelings, but what were Winry's? How did she feel about Roy? “Winry, what are your plans concerning Roy?”

 

She felt her cheeks heat, “He's asked me to go with him when he goes to the East Headquarters.”

 

Maes put his finger to his chin, “Has he now?”

 

Winry nodded quickly, “Part of me wants to, but then I think about everything else. Do you think I'm insane to want to go? I never thought I would say this, ever, but I really like being with Roy.” She saw the man's brow arch and there was a sly expression on his face and Winry's face heated bright red, “Not that! Man!” She heard him lightly laughing. “Geeze, there's more to it than just… you know!” She crossed her arms tightly over her breasts. “I like spending time with the man, sheesh.”

 

Maes waved his hand, “All right, all right.” He cleared his throat and calmed down from his laughing, “All joking aside, Winry. There is something serious I want to discuss with you. Roy is not concentrating like he used to. Before you came here, he was completely driven in his career. It seems you have disrupted his straight path. He's been drifting off, his priorities have changed. It seems like you are constantly in the forefront of his mind.”

 

Feeling her stomach flip and her heart twisting, Winry let out a smooth breath. “In other words, I'm distracting him.” She lowered her gaze to her lap. “I'm in the way of all his important work, with what he is trying to accomplish. Which I do know `everything,' Mr. Hughes, so are you suggesting that I stop seeing him?”

 

This time Maes sighed, “I am not suggesting that at all. He does need a good woman in his life.” He had a feeling Winry was taking this the wrong way. He needed to correct her line of thinking. “Which I think in this case that you are the one that can push him into doing the best he possibly can. He thinks about what is best for you most of all.”

 

“He thinks about what's best for me?” `Oh no, this is not good. He needs to worry about himself, not about me.' “Mr. Hughes, he was trying to do something good long before I was even in the picture. My influence shouldn't make a difference. I am causing his thoughts to turn to me when his goal really shouldn't even involve me. At the current time, I am in the way.”

 

“No you're not, Winry—” Maes was cut off with the wave of her hand.

 

“Mr. Hughes, I am a fifteen year old girl. True, I'll be sixteen soon, but I'm not the one Roy needs right now. I can't even really walk down the street with him. If his mind is always off his goal and on me, then when will he make it? When will he be able to live with himself if he lets his goal slip out of his reach because of me? There is still so much he needs to do, and I can't be the one who distracted him from his ambition.” Winry couldn't believe she was saying this, but it felt like the right thing to do. She had to do what was best for Roy. Her feelings didn't matter. “As much as it hurts, I have to stop seeing him.”

 

“Winry, are you sure you know what you're doing?” Maes asked, knowing how Roy felt about her. But he could also see her point as well. She was definitely a lot selfless and mature than most people more than half her age.

 

She smiled prettily even though her tears were now falling, “I love him, Mr. Hughes. I can't be selfish, he needs to do this. I know that from the very depths of my soul. I understand him, and I want to see him succeed. I will support him, but it will have to be in the same way I support the Elrics…From afar and not in the way. Roy won't be able to accomplish what he needs if he has to worry about me.”

 

For the first time in the months that she has been here and around Roy, Winry wasn't confused. She wasn't ashamed of herself. No, she now knew her heart, she knew that Roy was the one who filled it, even if he didn't feel the same about her. She loved him and that was enough. It was as clear as crystal, Winry now knew what she had to do.

 

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This story is coming to a close. The next episode/chapter is the final one of Feel Me, Shame Me, Heal Me. I am kinda sad this story is ending, and I'm sure you all probably have an idea of what's going to happen in the next episode/chapter. Still I hope you enjoy it. How did you like this one?

 

Thanks so much for reading

Ryoko Blue