InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Lolicon Collection ❯ This Love Can't Be Wrong ( Chapter 16 )

Chapter 14: This Love Can't be 'Wrong'

Disclaimer: I do not own Sesshomaru or Rin or the Manga these characters come from - Inuyasha

A/N: This is a fictional story, about a pedophile who is in love with a child and a child who is in love with a pedophile.

Someone who shall remain nameless, by her request, asked me to write an AU lolicon story. This makes me somewhat uncomfortable, because once you take historical context away it leave the question of the morality of pedophilia open. Five hundred years ago a Japanese lord may have had a child bride, and that may have been common, but NOW, such things are NOT common, or socially acceptable… so that changes the characterization of Sesshomaru and he struggles a bit with his love for Rin, but accepts it as something he would not change.

This fic will have NO ABUSE in it, and NO NON-CON. Rin is a willing participant in all activities alluded to, and is, in fact, the one who `starts it' all.

The only difference between a 'pedophile' and a 'lolicon' is the WORD. It means the SAME THING and, in fact, this is admittedly a bit of a risky fic for me - because I'm challenging people's interpretation of a word with such a negative connotation... Rest assured:

USING THE WORD PEDOPHILE, INSTEAD OF LOLICON, DOES NOT CHANGE THE FIC'S CONTENTS - IT IS STILL LOVING AND CONSENSUAL

He pulled the sleeping child closer to him, breathing in her scent and smiling a small smile as she turned towards him in her sleep. Her tiny fingers curled a bit as her small, soft, warm hands found his chest and tried to clutch him closer to her.

Considering the things that had happened this night, he should feel ashamed. He should feel sick with regret and guilt and self-loathing. He should be worried for himself, his sanity, and that he may have done some irreparable damage to the young girl he loves so much it is beyond reason's psyche… and yet…

He feels nothing but protective love and quiet, gentle contentment. Yes, Sesshomaru could only feel content and the smallest amount of pride at Rin's easy, eager, loving acceptance of the man who so many loathed, feared, and hated, and how she had wanted him so unconditionally, so ardently, so physically, and so fully.

She was his girl now… In truth she had been `his girl' from the time his court ordered community service to volunteer at and orphanage changed not only his way of life, but his perceptions of himself, and both love and sexuality, as well as his preceptions and assumptions of what is right and wrong in such an unexpected and unforeseeable way.

Even if he'd known then what he knows now… He doubts now he would change anything.

Everything he'd ever assumed about how a child was capable of feeling, and how a child might act on those feelings had been forever altered, and he felt as if he were the keeper of some great secret. Part of him wanted to tell the world they were wrong, but majority rules and oppressing and imprisoning the minority is still sadly common place, even in our 'enlightened' and 'modern' culture.

Five hundred years ago, no one would have batted an eye if he'd taken an eight year old bride. Japanese Lords had long had osanazuma (child brides), and it was standard practice to recognize children as capable of romantic love. When a young girl said she 'wanted to marry' an adult man it was not dismissed as it is in these modern times... Her family might attempt to make arrangements.

Young and beautiful boys in ancient Rome were frequently the bed-mates of prestigiuos senators and the practice of pederasty was not only common... but expected.

'How is it we seem to have moved backwards in our understanding? When did we decide that children were somehow less capable of expressing needs, wants, desires and love? Despite better education, we somehow believe that children have become somehow... less intelligent and cognizant than ever before?'

Sesshomaru is a pedophile, and Rin is his child lover, and he is happy and content, so long as she is happy and content.

~*~*~*~*~

It all stemmed from the impulsive decision to show a man named Naraku Mamiki that Sesshomaru Inuijikon was no one to mess with, by way of a bar fight, in which he was brutally victorious, but authorities managed to show up before he could slip away from the aftermath.

Luckily for him, the wealth left to him by his father allowed for the best lawyers and the greasing of the palms of one dirty judge and he managed to get away with only having to spend one hundred hours surrounded by screaming annoying orphaned brats… the children considered to be too `damaged' or `unruly' to be in foster homes, and the group home was intended to be a stepping stone or place of adjustment until a suitable foster home could become available.

He could still recall it with perfect clarity… the day his perfect, precious little angel had come into his life…

He was hung-over and bruised from a scuffle with his younger brother over the division of their father's inheritance… a stupid fight, he now realized… And one that, if he'd continued it, might have cost him the little girl he loved so dearly… The only one he'd ever loved in such a way.

She was bruised and had obviously been beaten. She'd refused to talk, even with the constant prodding from the social workers to get her to `open up' and tell them what exactly had happened to her.

When lunch came, she must have noticed he was the only one not eating. She approached him and offered some of the food from her plate. He'd declined, stating he wasn't hungry, but had asked her where she'd gotten her bruises - attempting to `work with' the child, as he was required to do.

She'd said nothing, and he'd told her it was `Fine if she didn't want to talk about it.'

He was the first one to not seem upset by her lack of communication and press her further about what had obviously been a horrifying experience for the girl.

She'd beamed at him, then.

From that moment on they'd shared a sort of unspoken bond and he spent more time with her than with any of the other children, preferring her quiet company to the obnoxious and loud other children who made sure he always had a headache when he left.

The last day of his community service was upon him, and he was planning on leaving and never coming back, the girl hadn't been even a consideration at that point.

Until he'd seen her, that day.

She'd long since healed from the beating she'd gotten at the hands of the robber who had invaded her home and killed her parents (he'd looked in her file, not because he cared or anything… he was only curious) but now here she was again… covered in bruises.

One of the older, more troubled, boys - Kouga - and his gang of delinquents had beaten her soundly, for no reason.

Sesshomaru was beyond pissed. None of the staff had stopped it or even knew it had happened until long hours afterwards, when she'd been found hiding in a janitorial closet.

Fuck! These incompetent assholes can't keep one, sweet, mute little girl safe?

The fierce protectiveness he felt in that moment baffled even him, but he'd scooped her up, hefted her against his chest and, on his way out to his car he'd told the staff to call his lawyer - He was adopting Rin.

It had been entirely impulsive and he hadn't truly considered the implications of that statement or what he would do with the orphaned girl with the sad past but, never-the-less…

One month and a lot of money and even more bribes later… Rin was his.

The attraction and love he felt for her didn't happen overnight. It was a slow and silent process that he didn't even realize until it was too late.

She'd started talking, for one. Not only talking but singing… for him.

She told him how grateful she was, how much she loved and adored him and smiled at him when he came home from work. She made him feel more important and needed and powerful than any business deal ever had, and she made him feel like a hero.

He was a hero, if only to one small girl.

It was an intoxicating feeling… being so adored and loved and appreciated for the first time. He could do no wrong in her eyes and that level of acceptance was something that someone like him - one who had been nothing but a disappointment to his late father and a cold, uncaring and ruthless business man to everyone else - was something that touched him deeply… even if he couldn't admit it aloud.

Slowly but surely her love for him and the way she demanded nothing, but needed so much… it got to him. More than got to him… It changed him.

Even more slowly… he began to reciprocate her feelings.

She'd always had a very obvious innocent and childish `crush' on him. She'd do things like jump in his lap and kiss him on the cheek and blush and giggle in an adorable way whenever he spoke to her… He'd once found a piece of paper in her room covered in little pink hearts with his name in the middle of those hearts and her first name followed by his last.

Mrs. Rin Inuijikon

Hn. How… adorable.

“Harmless.” He told himself, repeatedly… although he was uncomfortably more aware of her after that.

He was even more aware that he was slowly but surely pushing everyone else further and further away and he had not had a woman in months…

He was masturbating one night - with the image of Kagura - an attractive woman from the office that he could have most likely had any time he wanted - firmly in his mind… only to not notice until it was too late that he was fantasizing about a now ten year old girl and the rough fuck had become a sweet and tender embrace and long painted fingernails scratching down his back were now tiny soft hands, gently cupping his face as small pink lips sought his own, and a tiny tongue invaded his mouth and he felt tiny nipples on a flat chest harden, even through her pink unicorn decorated overly-long nightshirt…

He'd never come so hard, so fast, or so much in his entire life.

Still… it was a secret fantasy… one that shamed him, but yet he could not stop himself from indulging in thoughts of the girl, whenever he pumped his rock hard cock to completion while the object of his desires slept blissfully unaware in her room across the hall.

He'd never considered himself a pedophile before. Indeed, he'd thought of the word in terms of child molesters who lure unsuspecting children to vans with promises of free candy. They were despicable and disgusting men; cowards and forced themselves on those too weak to fight back and too scared to report such incidents.

In the strictest sense of the word a pedo was a child, and a philia was a love of something.

The word pedophile simply meant a love of children.

He did not love children… he loved a child.

He loved Rin.

Not only did he love her, but yes… he desired intimate activities with her that were more suited to adult partners. He found her undeniably cute… but he also found her beautiful.

Not sexy… but her innocence and trust and uncomplicated, unconditional love for him was, in some ways… seductive.

She was unaware of her power over him and that made it all the more real and all the more strong.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sesshomaru was not a rapist.

He was attractive, undeniably so. He was wealthy, exceedingly so. He was desired by women and envied by men. He had no need to force himself on any female of any age.

Looking at his precious girl and considering his actions this night he ran through his memory and tried to find a moment, any moment, that may have been considered the act of a man who was forcing himself on someone.

He could find nothing.

Rin had been not merely willing to engage in these intimate activities… she had been eager.

“It feels so good…” “Please…” “Again?” “Touch here…” “More…” “Can I?”

Innocently curious, delighted, enthralled, seduced and seductive in equal measure, she had been the one to initiate things.

It sounded ridiculous, absolutely unbelievable...

She came on to me.

Gods, he sounded like those perverts portrayed on Law and Order; SVU… It sounded like the lame excuse he'd always assumed it to be… it simply didn't seem possible!

But… he had been there, had seen it with his own eyes… in his case… it was true!

A ten year old girl had been the one to make the `first move' and many of the `moves' after that one. Rin had been not only the initiator of events, but also controlled the momentum and been the catalyst for the continuation of those events. She had been in complete and total control of their intimate activities and he'd done nothing more than let her have her way and not reject her advances.

She had wantedit… She had wanted him. She had wanted to touch him and she had nearly begged him to touch her in return.

Of course, he had explained things as she asked, and as they went along - his body and hers, their reactions, his hardness, her wetness and how good she felt when she touched him had been completely, honestly articulated and still the girl had shown no confusion, fear or hesitation.

She wanted to see what was `poking her'. She asked if she could `touch it'. She asked if he tingled like she sometimes did, and she asked if when she touched him, it felt the same to him as when she would touch herself in the bathtub, or in bed at night, alone in her room. She asked if she could kiss him… and then asked to `kiss it', she asked if he would kiss her back, she asked if he would touch her like she touched herself and she asked if she could make him `feel good' and she asked if he would return the favor.

She asked if this was what `made babies', and she asked if he would someday make one with her…

He'd explained what `made babies'; him placing his penis inside of her and allowing himself to erupt inside of her body. She'd wanted to try it right now - not realizing the potential for pain or damage to her tiny body.

He told her it was impossible; would cause pain instead of pleasure, due to her age and her size and she had been… heartbroken when he'd refused her pleadings to even `try'.

“You are not the same as an adult woman, Rin. There are some things that I can not do with you, just yet. Sexual intercourse is one of those things; it is completely out of the question.”

Uncertainty and determination faded to sad acceptance and woeful understanding. Suddenly Rin realized that she had limitations that he did not. She was incapable of doing all the things for him that an adult woman could.

She'd asked if he loved her… She'd asked `how much' and she asked if it was as much as she loved him?

Yes. Perhaps he was a pedophile… he was in love with a child in a romantic way… But he was not a monster.

He was gentle and soft and encouraging without being manipulative or forceful. She was excited and happy and wanted nothing more than to be the only girl in his life and in his bed… even though sex was of course out of the question with one so small as she.

When he'd explained the things they would do when she was older, as well as telling her that those things were not possible now, do to her physical size and maturity… How disappointed she had been in that moment! She had seemed so upset in that moment,

She was jealous.

She asked if he'd prefer a `grown up woman', because she `couldn't do' and `didn't have' the same things they did and had yet.

Will Sesshomaru-sama ever want a girlfriend?

Such a jealous look on such a tiny face… So much fear and uncertainty in her child's gaze…

No.

He wouldn't. Even though he had his pick of any woman he wanted from within the elite social circles that he associated in, he did not desire to spend his nights with the rich, snobby, surgically enhanced, vapid, shallow and undeniably `easy' and `cheap' women that prowled the champagne, silk, and diamond encrusted jungle of yachts and villas and VIP rooms that were the world of the upper crust, with pin-hole filled condoms in their designer handbags and twisted hopes of climbing the ladder by spreading their legs for the richest men they could find.

He wanted to be with the little girl who wanted a pony of her very own, and asked for ice cream on the drive home, promising pristine behavior in exchange for her `treat'.

Low cut shirts with bra straps hanging out, and obscenely short skirts that didn't even conceal the black or red laced thongs of these whores didn't interest him nearly as much as Mary Jane's and knee socks, a white shirt with the lines of a tank top style undershirt faintly traceable beneath, and a pleated plaid skirt that hid pink cotton panties with rainbows or butterfly patterns.

Only you are my special girl now, Rin. There will be no others.

The brilliantly wide smile she gave him when he'd said those simple words, and made such a profound promise was worth anything he may have to give up in return for keeping her, and only her as his…

Sesshomaru smiled and smoothed down the long silk black hair of the little girl who'd snuck into his room and crawled into bed with him, kissed him sweetly on the mouth and run her fingers along his face while whispering words of love he'd tried so desperately not to hear, and so quickly failed to not acknowledge. His over-restless mind and his conscience both fell blessedly silent, and there was only one contented thought on his mind as he finally allowed his lips to curve into a smile, before allowing sleep to claim him:

Sesshomaru knew, from this night forward - his life would never be the same…