Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy ❯ The Bitterest of Ironies ( Chapter 24 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Shinji has an imporant discussion with his father and later with Rei, Asuka vents some frustration, and Misato complains about paperwork. ;-)

Anime/Manga: Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 12.14.2005 | Updated On: 12.14.2005 | Pages: 10 | Words: 12.0K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Work In Progress

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Ah that Gendo… managing to be a nice guy and a self-serving bastard at the same time. Gotta love him. hehe

Required Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might just have some jelly donuts around here now, however… Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 24: The Bitterest of Ironies

Shinji simply held Rei for a long time, feeling comfort and peace in his soul from the closeness. But guilt was tugging at the back of his consciousness, and it was ruining his happy moment. The guilt stemmed from a lot of things. A number of them he didn't even want to think about.

The blue-haired girl sensed the turmoil in the third child and leaned back from his embrace and looked into his eyes. She wasn't sure what was bothering him, but she could tell it was important. “Shinji-kun?”

The blue-eyed boy nearly winced. Even though she spoke in her normal soft tone, he could sense the depth of emotion in her words. He couldn't do this. Not yet. There were some things he had to do first, as a matter of honor. “I need to speak to Father.” He offered as explanation for his agitated emotions.

The first child nodded. She didn't understand why he felt the way he did about the elder Ikari, but she accepted it as she accepted him for all his weaknesses and strengths. “Hai.” She replied simply.

Had he said that to Asuka, she would have demanded to know why. Rei, however, accepted it. He wasn't sure if it was because she was accustomed to not receiving explanations, or if it was because she trusted him. He hoped it was the latter, even though he didn't feel like he deserved her trust. Or anyone's, for that matter. “Is it all right if I come back here afterwards? I… would like to spend some more time with you.”

The red-eyed girl politely stepped back to give the boy room to leave. “Hai. You may come and go in my home as you please. You need no invitation.”

Shinji blinked a few times, confused. “Arigato, Rei-chan. Ah… I meant to ask, does your door buzzer work? Whenever I press it, I don't hear anything.”

Rei glanced at the door. “It does, but you do not need to press it. Simply enter. You do not need an invitation.” She repeated.

The third child's mouth dropped open in surprise. He was about to protest, but something about the way the girl was looking at him made him keep his tongue. “Hai… arigato, Rei-chan. I will not abuse your trust.” He bowed slightly and said good-bye, and left.

He was lost in thought as he made his way into and through NERV headquarters. Sooner than he would have liked, he stood once more in front of his father's office. The third child took a deep breath to steel his nerves, and then knocked on the door.

A few moments later, the stern voice of Gendo Ikari came over the intercom. “What is it, Pilot Ikari?”

Shinji flexed his hands nervously, a little hurt that the man was so formal. “Father, I need to speak to you.”

After waiting nearly a minute, the commander replied stiffly. “Enter.”

The third child let out a breath he had been holding and walked into the office and then forward until he stood before the commander's desk. He hated each and every step that it took to walk through the large room. He stared down at his feet for a few moments then looked up, hoping to see a more open expression than he was accustomed to. However, he was disappointed as he was greeted by the familiar stern, seemingly disapproving glare that almost always originated from the elder Ikari. “Good morning, father.”

“Get to the point, Ikari. I do not have all day.” Gendo commanded.

Apprehension and shame filled Shinji's mind and he struggled to find the words he needed to say. He took several deep breaths to calm his nerves then looked the commander in the eye, something he very rarely did. “How did I die, father?”

Commander Ikari frowned, though not for the reasons the boy assumed. “You don't remember? Rei recalled her death shortly after she was told.”

Shinji's brow furrowed as he tried to remember, though large portions of his life seemed to be missing. He always assumed the long boring stretches of time he lived with his teacher accounted for the gaps, but now he wondered if it was because of his death. “Was it… when mother... died?”

“No. What do you remember about the last time we visited your mother's grave? Not the time a few months ago, but the one before that.” Gendo inquired, attempting to prod the boy's memory.

The third child narrowed his eyes in confusion and tried to remember. “I remember… crying. Placing flowers on her grave. I remember running away from you. It was a week before I was found. I don't remember that much.” The boy admitted.

The commander was silent for a while, giving the younger Ikari time to remember more, but he was waiting for his father to fill in the details. “It was over three months after we visited your mother's grave that you ran away, Shinji.”

“What?!” The blue-eyed boy cried, shocked. “No! After we got home I… ran away! I couldn't understand why you could be so cold and unfeeling over her death!”

“So you don't remember being shot.” Gendo stated more than asked.

Shinji stared down at his feet, searching his memory. He turned his gaze to his right hand and flexed it several times, a habit he seemed to have for longer than he could remember.

Commander Ikari waited patiently then offered another clue. “Looking at your hand doesn't spark your memory?”

The third child gasped and clutched his temples as flashes of memory seared through his brain. “No! Stop it!” He cried, dropping to his knees as the fear overcame him.

“Do not ask for information if you are not ready to receive it, Ikari.” Gendo stated coldly.

“That's not what I mean!” Shinji cried, shaking his head. “The memory… it just came too fast. I still feel the pain…”

“So you remember, then.” The commander said with a touch of compassion in his voice.

The young pilot sighed and nodded. “You were shot too?”

“Yes.” Gendo replied emotionlessly. “The first bullet passed through me and into your right hand. The second went into your chest.”

Shinji stood up slowly and stared at his hand, then raised his gaze to look into his father's eyes. “You tried to save me.” He stated with wonder in his voice.

“Yes.” Commander Ikari affirmed. He had indeed put himself in front of Shinji when the shooter fired at them. The first bullet bad passed through his abdomen and went through the boy's hand. The younger Ikari had fallen away from the protective shield of his father's body and was hit by the second bullet. “It was a religious zealot. The brother of a former employee of Gehirn on Project E.”

The third child nodded, remembering now. “He was screaming that the Angels were messengers of God and that mankind deserved to be destroyed by them for our sins. He said something about what we were doing was blasphemy.”

“Correct.” Gendo responded.

“Who was he?” Shinji inquired, his tone darkening.

“It is not necessary for you to have that information. He was dealt with.” The commander replied.

The blue-eyed boy remembered. His father had emptied an entire clip from a pistol into the shooter. He still remembered the anguished and enraged cries. He even remembered his father crying over him as he died… a shocking revelation.

But the shooter seemed familiar somehow. After a few moments of consideration, similar features came into his mind. Shinji's eyes widened in shock. “Was he… Asuka's father?!”

“No.” Gendo replied. For a few tense moments, he considered remaining silent. But, he figured the boy had already made the connection. “Her uncle. He was the brother of Soryu's mother, who worked on Project E until she lost her touch with reality.”

The young Ikari stared down at the floor. For a moment, he felt anger towards the red-haired German girl, but he quickly realized she had nothing to do with it. Hating her would only be a cowardly escape, and he was sick of those. “I see.”

Commander Ikari was silent for a while but then spoke up. “Will that be all?”

Shinji nearly said yes and ran away, but stopped himself. “No sir. I had another matter to discuss with you.”

“Proceed.” Gendo said, nearly telling the boy to make it quick but he didn't, this time.

The third child took a very deep breath and closed his eyes for a few moments, summoning up his courage. “Does Rei… are her parents still alive?”

Commander Ikari stared at his son silently.

“I mean… well… I need to know, father. Gomen.” Shinji stared down at the floor.

The commander frowned. He had a feeling he knew why his son wanted to know that information. “Pilot Ayanami has no living blood relatives. I am her legal guardian, as you already knew.”

“Yes sir.” The blue-eyed boy agreed. “I just assumed that perhaps she still had some family, somewhere.”

“Is there a reason you require this information, Shinji?” Gendo inquired.

Shinji clenched his hands then raised his gaze up, giving his father as brave a look as he could muster. “Yes sir. I wish to court Rei. Since you are her legal guardian… I respectfully ask your permission, sir.”

Commander Ikari was shocked, but he didn't allow himself to show it. He was silent for several minutes as he ordered his thoughts. “You want my permission to court Rei.” He stated more than questioned.

“Yes sir.” The younger Ikari affirmed.

Gendo was silent once again. He really did not want to have this conversation. “You realize that as Rei is my legal ward, you are essentially her brother.”

Distress showed on Shinji's face. He hadn't realized that, or even considered it. “But we're not blood related.” Was the boy's evasive response.

The commander considered how to respond to that. Technically, the girl was born from a combination of Ikari Yui's and Lilith's DNA, but she was more Lilith than Yui. It was necessary, because Yui's soul was trapped in Unit 01, so Rei had to either house Lilith's soul or develop one of her own. He didn't really want to lie to his son, but he couldn't tell him the truth either. “You share a certain kinship due to your Adam DNA and her Lilith DNA.” It was the truth, just not the whole truth.

The young pilot considered that then shrugged. “Do we know for sure that Adam and Lilith were related? Even if they are, it doesn't matter. Genetics is only important in this case if children are involved. Rei-chan cannot bear children.”

“And has that entered into your consideration, Shinji? If you court her, there is a good chance you may one day marry her. Do you really want to marry a girl that cannot give you children? Especially given the sharp decrease in birth rates since the Second Impact?” It was a dirty tactic, Gendo knew, but still a valid one.

“I don't care.” Shinji replied bravely. “If we want a child, we could always adopt. Or, we could figure something else out. We may not even survive, if the last angel succeeds in causing Third Impact. What point is there in worrying about the distant future right now? I care about Rei very much. I won't let something like that stop me from attempting a relationship with her.”

Commander Ikari had one last dirty trick up his sleeve that he was willing to play. “And if I refuse to allow you to court her?”

The third child immediately looked crestfallen. “Then… I would be honor-bound to obey your wishes. If not for my own sake, then for hers.”

“Then I…” Gendo was interrupted by his son, a shocking event in and of itself.

“However, if you do allow me to court her, I will be in your debt.” Shinji stated, using his own stratagem.

The commander was silent for a few moments as he considered that. “And how would you repay that debt?”

The younger Ikari considered that. He knew a way, but he hated it. Oh how he hated it. “I… will forgive you.”

“For what, exactly?” Gendo inquired, curious.

Shinji gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists. Then he let out a long deep breath. “For everything.”

“Including using the Dummy Plug, which resulted in the death of the fourth child?” The commander inquired skeptically.

The blue-eyed boy hated responding to that. But he had to. “Yes sir.”

“And for abandoning you to concentrate on my work after your mother… was taken from us?” Gendo could never say that Yui died. To himself, or to others. Her soul was still alive in Unit 01, and he would reunite with her after Third Impact, therefore, she was only temporarily lost to them. He refused to see it any other way.

Shinji stared at the floor.

The elder Ikari waited patiently.

The third child sighed and nodded. “Yes sir.”

Gendo was silent again for a while, considering that. Most of the rebelliousness in Rei towards him stemmed from Shinji. She was angry about how he betrayed and abandoned the boy and how he treated the third child at present, and she would also be angry if he refused to allow her to have a romantic relationship with him. Gaining his son's forgiveness and giving his permission to court the first child would regain him the girl's devotion and ensure no problems in achieving his plans for Third Impact. Despite his own personal qualms over the relationship, he couldn't ask for a better deal. “You have my permission to court Rei.” Before the boy could react to the news, the commander added to it. “I give you this warning, however. If you hurt her, son or no, I will have my revenge. Do we understand one another?”

“Yes sir.” Shinji replied respectfully, joy singing in his heart.

“Is there anything else that you require, Shinji?” Gendo inquired, ready to get back to his work.

The younger Ikari bit his lip nervously. “Yes sir. One final thing. Some advice? Not that long ago… I had an… encounter with another woman. I feel terrible about it, even though Rei-chan and I were not in a relationship at that time. Should I… tell her?”

“Yes.” The commander replied immediately.

“Oh…” Shinji frowned thoughtfully. He hadn't expected his father to reply that way… or as quickly as he had.

“Rei does not like to be lied to. Complete honesty is far safer, with her, than lying to protect her feelings. Furthermore, if something is bothering you, she will notice. She is very… observant.” Gendo elaborated.

The third child was surprised. “Rei is?”

“Sensitive, as well. You hadn't noticed?” The commander asked, surprise entering his voice. He wondered how well the boy could really know his precious Rei if this was the case.

Shinji blushed in embarrassment. “Well she seems so… quiet and reserved. And she often seems to be in her own world. She daydreams a lot in school. Or at least, I think she's daydreaming. I never would have realized she was observant… from what I've seen.”

“She notices a lot more than she normally lets on. And, normally only with those she cares for. Perhaps you don't know her as well as you think you do.” Gendo observed.

Shinji nodded. “I am learning, though. What I do know is that I care about her very deeply. And that is enough for now.”

Commander Ikari was surprised. “Shinji… you've changed.”

The third child blushed in embarrassment. “Misato-san has said the same thing several times, especially lately.”

Gendo nodded. “I am… proud of you. Son.” The commander wasn't sure if Shinji was more surprised by those words, or if he himself was.

“F…father?” Shinji beamed, happiness radiating from him at the praise. He remembered when he told Misato that he felt he piloted Eva simply to hear those words from his father. Strangely, it was something unrelated to his pilot status that finally earned that praise.

“If that is all, you are dismissed. I have a lot of work to do, and talking with you has put me behind schedule.” Gendo stated gruffly.

Shinji bowed as he started leaving. “Thank you, father! Gomen nasai, I didn't mean to keep you so long. Goodbye!” He ran off, with a permanent smile seemingly plastered on his face.

Commander Ikari shook his head, still surprised. “All the women I placed around you… and it was the girl I consider a daughter to be the one to make you into a man I can be proud of. Fate is the bitterest of ironies.” He mused aloud before returning to his work.

*************************

Asuka grumbled as she entered Misato's apartment. “Fire again, Asuka. Fire faster, Asuka. Reload, Asuka. Why are you missing, Asuka? Mein Gott, even I'm not perfect!” The girl grumbled, wondering why Major Katsuragi had seemed so pissed off today. Her performance that day was well in line with her past showings, perhaps not her very best but well enough.

The girl walked into the kitchen and looked around. “And that fucking Kaji… what's his problem? Here I am, young, nubile, beautiful, sexy as hell, and he doesn't even look at me! But he turns into a drooling monkey when Misato walks in!”

She growled and started doing a mock version of Kaji's voice, “Oh, that Misa-chan! She's so nice, isn't she? She's so pretty! You could learn a lot from her, Asuka-chan! Sie hat ja Titten wie Melonen!!! (She has breasts like melons) Ach!” She spat on the floor in disgust. “Who wants Hängetitten (droopy breasts) like those old bags when they could have firm young ones like these in their hands?!”

The second child kicked the wall, venting her frustration. “And where the fuck is he?! He didn't even see me before he went off to wherever he is! Arrogant selfish son of a…” She kicked Misato's door and her foot went right through it. “AAH! Stupid paper doors! Fucking Japanese can't even have proper wooden doors like everyone else in the world!” She cried, swearing as she pulled her leg out and winced as pain shot through it. “Oh great, now I've got a big scratch on my beautiful perfectly formed leg!”

Asuka huffed and plopped down on the ground with a wet paper towel to clean the wound. She glanced at the hole in the door and felt embarrassed from her outburst. “So that's what Dr. Kagame said about me not handling my frustrations very well…” She contemplated the hole for a few minutes then grabbed a pen and paper and wrote out “Sorry! I tripped!” She giggled as she put that over the door, hoping the major would believe her. The red-haired girl shrugged at the door. “At least I didn't destroy all her stuff.”

Thinking that made her wonder if Shinji had made the move on Rei. “They're probably going at it like badgers in heat right now. At least someone's getting sex… damn these drugs make me horny.” The girl grumbled. She had wanted to go back to Rei's apartment since the major was working all day, and she knew Shinji would be over there, and she didn't want to be alone all day. But she figured she had to give the two some time alone so they could figure things out.

Asuka considered that for a little while. “If they start up a relationship… will either of them have any time for me? I'm going to be all alone. Hikari isn't even around anymore… fucking cowards all left after Unit 00 went kablooey. No faith in us pilots whatsoever. Don't they understand that if we fail, it won't matter where the fuck they are, they're still going to die?! Why couldn't they just stay here and show us some goddamned support?!” She growled and kicked the refrigerator. “Oh shit, I'm sorry Pen-Pen! I didn't mean to… what the hell am I talking about? Damn it I forgot he was gone. Even that stupid bird has abandoned us.”

Asuka pulled her knees up under her chin, crossed her arms over them, and sobbed. She felt alone and unwanted, and the worst part was, she had encouraged Shinji into going after the quiet blue-haired girl. And she knew she never had Kaji's interest to begin with. “Probably just sees me as a kid. Nobody takes me seriously, unless I'm in my Eva.”

She remembered a time a number of months before, when Shinji and Unit 01 were swallowed up by the 12th angel. She was ranting and raving about how the third child got what he deserved for being a chauvinistic pig and acting like he could take on the angel himself. Realistically, she knew he really just wanted to protect the girls and to prove himself. And though she would have never admitted it then, and perhaps not even now, she was scared that she would never see the boy again. Rei had gotten in her face and asked if she only piloted Eva for the praise of others. She had tried to play it off that she knew she was great and of course others would see that as well, but she knew the real truth. She felt it was the only thing in her life that gave it meaning, and that it gave others a reason to depend on her and give her attention. It was also why she acted the way she did, so they had no choice but to notice her.

The second child wiped her tears away and plopped down on the coach and flipped the television on. “At least the TV still works.” A moment later, the signal cut out, replaced by a message saying the station was experiencing technical difficulties. “Scheiße!” She cried. She flipped the channels and found almost all of them were the same way. The only one still in service was a nature channel. She slapped her forehead in exasperation. “Gott lacht an mir. (God laughs at me.)” She muttered. On the screen was a documentary about the mating habits of various mammals, so lots of fuzzy critters going at it as if it was going out of style were continuously displayed.

*************************

Misato frowned as she observed the fifth child in the distance. “What's he doing?” She inquired one of the security staff that was `discretely' observing the silver-haired boy from a distance.

“Just that, major. He's been sitting there on that bench here in the atrium for several hours now. He's either waiting for someone with exceptional patience or he's just… watching people walk by.” The security officer remarked, shaking his head. “Whenever someone happens to look at him as they pass, he gives them the strangest smile, as if they were a long lost best friend. I can't figure him out.”

The major raised an eyebrow and regarded Kaoru Nagisa curiously, wondering what could be going through his head. She sighed and left security to their work and resumed her own. “Hasn't Captain Ibuki reported in yet?” Misato inquired, wondering why the girl was absent again.

“No, apparently she came down with some sort of illness that impaired her ability to concentrate effectively. Akagi-dono is enforcing a 72 hour leave on her.” Makoto explained, glancing up from his terminal.

The major sighed. “That's all we need, is for some illness to start sweeping through the GeoFront. Although I suppose it could simply be a case of food poisoning, ne?”

“You can always call her and ask her yourself.” The lieutenant suggested as he pulled out a manga since his work station was going to be running autonomous diagnostics for an hour or two.

“I might stop by later, assuming her condition isn't infectious.” Misato replied, not feeling like talking to someone over the phone. “She's probably sleeping anyway, if she's feeling bad. Or she's reading some boring technical magazine that would make me bleed out of my ears just by looking at it.” She grinned and sat down to start going over the boring reports that made her job a living hell. “Ah… I'd take an angel attack over this paperwork any day.”

She briefly considered going to visit Dr. Akagi later on, to give herself a break, but then reconsidered. `She'd probably be all business… which is fine. But… after what happened between us the other day, I'm still a little weirded out. It's not so much that we had sex… but it was how she did it. Such anger… she scared the crap out of me. Whatever's got her angry, I don't wanna be around her until it's resolved.'

Misato paused as she signed yet another document concerning repair costs from the last angel attack and glanced at the technician who was still reading. “So what do you think the chances are that the 17th angel will decide not to attack, considering we defeated all of his friends?” Lt. Hyuga gave her a `yeah right' look and so the major shrugged. “One can hope, right? Then maybe I won't have to sign so many of these damn reports in the future… I mean… one form for requesting x number of L shaped pipes, another for requesting x number of straight pipes, another form for requesting so many valves of this type, another form for valves of that type… and I have to check all this and so much more against the master list of what we need now and what we can wait on. It's maddening.”

Makoto gave her a sympathetic smile, but inside he was amused. `This is why I'm in no rush to be promoted. The higher the rank, the more responsibility and paperwork. I'm happy right where I am, thank you! Captain Ibuki probably got sick from being overworked with all her new responsibilities.'

Major Katsuragi growled. “That the hell is the difference between a ball valve and a butterfly valve, anyway?!”

The lieutenant bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the purple-haired beauty's misfortune.

*************************

Shinji opened up the door to Rei's apartment and called out a greeting. He still felt a little uncomfortable just walking in, but she had told him to and he knew from past experience that she didn't seem to pay any attention to someone knocking on the door. He also remembered just before Suzahara was killed in the Dummy Plug incident, when he and his friend had brought the flyers to the girl's apartment, she had walked in while he was cleaning the place up and she didn't seem concerned by their presence, and was even confused why they had apologized for walking in uninvited. Though he did fondly remember her blush when she found out he had cleaned her apartment.

The third child kicked off his shoes and stepped up onto the concrete that made up the floor to Ayanami's apartment. He briefly thought about the first time he ever came to this apartment and felt bad because while both he and Rei had fallen, she hit the floor and all he did was land over her and accidentally groped her. While she fell back onto hard concrete, and had a heavier body fall on top of her and on tender intimate anatomy as well. `It's a wonder she ever talked to me again after that, especially considering I upset her with how I felt about my father.' Shinji scratched his head and entered the bedroom area to find the red-eyed girl lying face down on her bed, her chin resting on her folded arms. “Hello, Rei-chan. I'm back.”

The blue-haired girl sat up and looked at the third child. “Your father's words were kind?” She could tell he was happy.

Shinji nodded. “They were very kind. I asked his permission to court you.”

Rei raised an eyebrow up slightly. “To court me.” She stated/questioned.

“Yes. To uh… you know. So we could have a relationship. A romantic relationship. This… is something you wanted as well, na?” The blue-eyed boy inquired carefully. He felt that he surely couldn't have misread the situation judging by that kiss and embrace earlier.

“If that is your desire.” The first child replied in a mysterious tone.

The young Ikari blinked in surprise, feeling unsure of himself now. “We don't have to date, if you don't want to. I was just asking his permission. It's not like you don't have a choice.”

“Commander Ikari agreed to your request?” Rei inquired.

Shinji blushed, still unsure of how to take her odd reaction. He should have been accustomed to the way she reacted to things by now, but as he told his father, he was still learning. “Hai.”

“And it is your desire that we court.” She continued in her mysterious tone.

The third child coughed nervously. “Ah… hai.”

Rei was silent for a while before nodding. “Then we shall court one another.”

“Oh… ah, ok.” The blue-eyed boy felt shy, all the sudden. “Ah, you don't have to, if you don't want to.”

The first child stared at the boy silently.

“Well, there is something I need to tell you, before we're officially a couple. Ah… a few days ago, when we were examined by Akagi-dono and Ibuki-taii… well… I was nervous and scared… and ah…” Shinji felt like running away. “She, well, Ibuki-taii I mean, uh… she made an offer and… at first I think it was just to distract me but I talked to her later and ah… well… she… well we actually… ah…”

Rei stared at the boy silently.

The blue-eyed boy coughed nervously. He desperately wanted to run away. “We… had sex. Kind of.”

The first child raised an eyebrow slightly. “Kind of.” She stated/inquired.

“Hai… well, she gave me… ah… oral sex. I was still upset about the dummy plug revelation and scared about what was going on with me and… I have no excuse. Gomen nasai, Rei-chan.” Shinji stared at the floor, his cheeks burning in shame.

The blue-haired girl resisted the urge to say that she knew about it already, as she realized that might scare the boy. “No need for apology.”

“Well I… but I… cheated on you… kind of. I mean, we weren't officially in a relationship, but I knew I wanted to be in one with you.” Shinji protested. Even though being with Rei would make him happier than he had been in his entire life, he still felt undeserving of her affection.

“Are you in love with Ibuki-taii?” Rei inquired. She already knew he wasn't, but she had to put the boy's mind at ease somehow.

“No! Of course not! It was just…” He wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't say it was meaningless, because it wasn't. And that would imply that he thought of women as cheap objects to be used and thrown away. He couldn't really say it meant something to him either because that would imply that he looked on the act fondly and perhaps wanted to repeat it. He was screwed either way.

“Then you have not cheated on me, Shinji-kun.” The first child stated as firmly as her soft voice allowed. “I have not asked you to share your body only with me. It is yours to do with as you choose. If, however, you truly wish to court me, I claim dominion over your heart.” The way she said it was… borderline scary.

The third child paled slightly, unsure how to take that statement. “I don't understand.” Clarification seemed of vital importance here.

“As long as I am first in your heart, you are free to do as you choose.” Rei elaborated, though it still wasn't entirely clear.

“Well, I…” Shinji scratched his head, confused.

“I bought a rice steamer.” The first child stated out of the blue, completely changing the subject.

The blue-eyed boy shook his head in confusion. “What?”

“I bought a rice steamer.” She repeated in the exact same tone as before. “You wished me to have a rice steamer, so I purchased one.”

The third child's mouth dropped open in surprise. He glanced around and his brow furrowed in confusion. “But where'd you put it? Where could you put it?”

Rei pointed to the curtain behind her bed and dresser that covered the sliding door leading to the balcony. “For the moment, it is out with my washing machine. Perhaps we can do a little reorganization in here and find a more suitable place to set it in here that will not be in the way.”

Shinji shook his head, still baffled. “But… why did you buy one so suddenly?”

The first child tilted her head slightly. “You asked me to.”

The young Ikari blushed self-consciously. “Well no, I didn't mean… I wasn't ordering you to run out and buy one. I just suggested we get one. Someday.”

“I chose today. Sit down, I prepared lunch.” Rei walked into the entrance hallway and poured some miso soup with seaweed into bowls, and placed some teriyaki-chicken strips onto a small plate for Shinji. She brought those and the pickled vegetables to the table then went outside to scoop some steamed rice into bowls as well. Then she poured water for them both, much to the embarrassment of the boy who she could tell was more comfortable being on the giving end of such treatment. She handed him some nice chopsticks in a cloth carrying case. “These are yours while you are here.”

Shinji stared at the meal and the chopsticks in astonishment. He had never felt so… welcome in his entire life, and it scared him. “You… didn't have to do all this, Rei-chan! You're embarrassing me.”

The first child stared at the boy silently for a few moments before responding. “If… it displeases you…”

“No! That's not what I mean! I'm just… it's overwhelming.” The third child corrected hastily.

Rei nodded, accepting that explanation. “If you have any favorites, please let me know and I will attempt to cook them next time. If I know how. I… do not have much experience with cooking.”

Shinji smiled and nodded. “Ah… I have been cooking for most of my life. I would be glad to… teach you.”

A blush crept into the red-eyed girl's cheeks. “Now you are embarrassing me.” She stated softly.

The third child smiled. He wondered why it was that he felt so comfortable with her in times like this, but other times, she scared the hell out of him. He felt he really would have to get accustomed to her mannerisms. He paused thoughtfully as he chewed on a piece of chicken. “Ah, you didn't have to make chicken. I know how you feel about meat.”

“I dislike eating meat. I do not understand why others enjoy it, but I do not deny them to the right to choose whether they eat it or not, Shinji-kun. If you wish to devour the dead flesh of fowls, I shall cook it for you.” Rei deadpanned.

“Thank you, Rei-chan. That is very kind.” Shinji grinned, unphased by her graphic descriptions of meat-eating. Mostly, anyway.

Rei sipped her soup silently.

The third child glanced at the girl, not feeling as strange about her silence this time. “Ah… so… you and Asuka?” He inquired, attempting to fish information out of the quiet girl.

The girl raised her red eyes to meet the blue eyes of the boy. She casually chewed on a piece of pickled Japanese radish.

“Ah… I mean… we, er she and I, I mean… talked this morning and… I got the impression that something was going on between you two.” Shinji paused for a few moments to see if that got a response, but it didn't. “Ah… is there?”

Rei hovered her chopsticks over the rice as she contemplated how best to answer that question. “Yes.” She finally replied, simply.

“Oh! …Oh.” Shinji fell silent, unsure of how to take that news.

The first child chewed on some rice as she stared at the boy silently. “She has kissed me on several occasions, and has indicated she wishes to do more. However, she has not yet done so.”

“Oh.” The young Ikari commented, still unsure how to take the news.

The blue-haired girl regarded the boy curiously, puzzled at his reaction. “Does this news upset you?”

“No! I mean… ah… if she will make you happy, I won't stand in your way. I am just a little confused.” The third child responded honestly.

“Because you care for Asuka-chan as well?” Rei inquired.

“Well… yes. I mean… no. I mean… I don't know. I… I chose you, and I would again. But yes, I do care for her as well. But I care for you more.” Shinji responded, getting more confused rather than less.

The first child finished off her rice and looked at her fellow pilot. “My feelings for Asuka-chan have no bearing on my feelings for you, Shinji-kun. I care for you both. However, if you ask me to refuse her advances, I will. It will hurt her feeling, however. And I do not wish to do so unless absolutely necessary.”

“But what about your feelings?” The third child asked, shaking his head in confusion. “What do you want?”

“If I felt nothing for her, I would not allow her to kiss me. I would not care whether her feelings were hurt or not. I am not a doll.” Rei stated the last part a little more firmly then she intended. Shinji had never accused her of being a doll, and as far as she knew, he had never thought it. But it was a touchy subject for her.

“Of course, I didn't mean to imply any different. I just… wanted to be sure.” Shinji forced a smile, though he was still confused. He had stated his intentions to court the girl, she agreed readily, but then less than ten minutes later she says she likes Asuka and doesn't want to give her up. He didn't really want to ask her to give the other girl up, but he didn't want to give her up either. He was baffled why the girl seemed to be so nonchalant about this. He finished up his lunch and patted his stomach, feeling happy despite his confusion. He gave Ayanami a gentle smile and inquired “So… now what do you want to do?”

Rei stared at the third child silently.

*************************

Next chapter: More than likely, something sexy is going to happen. Muahahahah!!! Though how sexy, you'll have to wait and see. Rei, Shinji, and Asuka are of course going to be around… perhaps Kaoru will keep looking for Adam, or maybe I'll leave him out of the chapter. I do believe Ritsuko will pay a visit to Maya. I'll see how things shake out, so I won't comment further than that. Bwahahahaha!!!! Fare thee well, good folk.