Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy ❯ Routine Life is Calling Me Again ( Chapter 7 )

Evangelion: Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author's Note: Wow people really got upset because Rei said "I can't eat that crap." Lol Crap isn't technically a curse word, even if people use it as such at times. It's no worse than saying poop or doodoo. And it makes more sense since the name of the guy who invented the toilet was Crapper (hence why the toilet was called the crapper for so long.) But, that is not how she used it so yes it was a mild curse. She was also in a lot of pain and people tend to get irritable when they're in pain, and I think saying "crap" is a fairly appropriate level of irritability for the stoic Rei. Tra la la… I wish I could read Japanese writing… I downloaded the demo for the GAINAX game Raising Ayanami, but I can only understand every other spoken word and none of the writing. Blah… I should go to Japan for about a year, I'd pick the language back up I'm sure. At least I hope… anyway, on with the story.

Required Disclaimer: No own. No money. No conscience. And no jelly donuts! Enjoy and ponder on the glory of GAINAX!

Chapter 7: Routine Life Is Calling Me Again

The teacher sighed in exasperation and felt like throwing his chalk at the pilots of the EVAs. There were hardly any students left in the class, in fact there was a grand total of five, three of them being the pilots. The other two were just unlucky students who hadn't gotten out of Tokyo-3 yet. But this wasn't the source of the teacher's frustration. What annoyed him was that Ayanami was staring out the window as usual, Ikari was spending most of his time staring at the back of Ayanami's head, and Soryu kept glaring back at both of them. All in all, it was a bad day to be a teacher. "Class, until the threat to this city is gone, I've decided it's best if I leave as well. There's barely any non-military personnel left anyhow, so there's really no point in me staying." He waited for nearly a minute then sighed, realizing he had been ignored. "ATTENTION!" He shouted.

Four sets of eyes snapped to him immediately and Rei's gaze even slowly turned to regard him curiously. He did not often raise his voice, let alone yell. "Good, that got your attention. Now, as I was saying, class will be canceled after today until the threat to the city is over with. I will be leaving tonight, as most of Tokyo-3's non-military populace has already."

One of the other students raised his hand carefully. The teacher sighed and asked him what he wanted. "Sensei, does this mean that we won't have any homework tonight?"

The teacher sighed and slapped his forehead in exasperation. "Yes, there won't be any more homework until we all return to the city. Any other questions?"

Asuka raised her hand. "Hai, sensei. I have a question. Don't you have confidence in our abilities as pilots? We'll destroy the last angel and you will come to no harm. You and every other person who left Tokyo-3 are fucking cowards. I'm disgusted by it."

Everyone was shocked, especially the teacher. "What… what did you call me?" He asked, hoping his hearing was failing.

"Okubyoumono… feigling… coward… surely you know the word in one of these languages. Or are you stupid as well?" Asuka asked in a feigned innocent tone.

The teacher's face darkened. "I will not stand for this behavior! You will leave this class now, young lady!" He was literally shaking with rage.

Asuka stood up slowly. "Das Lehrerschwein frisst Scheisse! [The pig teacher eats shit]" She taunted and threw her desk over as she walked out tossing a haughty glare at the first and third childs.

"Soryu is very disrespectful." Rei observed quietly.

Shinji nodded carefully. <She hates me. She wants to hurt me. Worse, I think she wants to hurt Rei-san as well!>

The teacher looked at the rest of the students with a frown. "You all may as well leave as well. Hopefully I'll see you all soon… and perhaps Soryu will have a better attitude."

They all stood up and everyone but Rei bowed politely. "Hai, sensei! Arigato! Ah, sayonara!" Rei simply started walking out, nearly leaving Shinji behind.

"Rei-san! You walked away from me. You shouldn't do that while you're still hurt. You might have tripped or something!" Shinji admonished her.

Rei gave him a curious look then nodded once. They took a taxi back home and had lunch then Rei laid down for a nap. She woke up later to a strange sound. She looked over and saw Shinji cleaning her apartment, a determined and often horrified look on his face. Rei blushed and looked back up at the ceiling. <This is the second time he's cleaned my apartment… why does do I feel this way? I do not understand it.> Rei sighed and went back to sleep.

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Major Katsuragi left Kaji's apartment and took a deep breath, leaning back against the door. Tears fell from her eyes and she desperately wanted a beer or twelve. She took one last look at the apartment and left, nervously adjusting her gun's holster every so often. She took her time strolling home, for as long as she was in route she could avoid thinking. She was, for lack of a better term, in limbo. But it could not last forever, as her feet eventually led her home. "I'm home!" She called as she stepped in and kicked her shoes off. She trudged straight for the refrigerator and grabbed a six pack of beers and plopped down on the couch and finished the first one off before she even settled back.

She was starting on her second beer when she heard a crash coming from Shinji's room. <Strange… normally he's so quiet. I better make sure he's not hurt.> Misato sighed and stood up and walked to Shinji's room and knocked on the door. The rustling sounds inside stopped suddenly and it was silent. The major frowned and opened the door, wondering for a moment if she'd catch the boy wanking himself or in a similar compromising situation. "Shinji-kun? Are you… hurt?" Misato stared in horror at the room and saw it had literally been destroyed. Every last one of Shinji's possessions was broken, shattered, or knocked over. Even his futon was torn up and stained. And sitting in the center of the room was Asuka, with an almost feral look in her eyes. "Asuka-chan?! What… what have you done?!"

Asuka laughed and slammed one of Shinji's SDAT tapes into the ground and shattered it into pieces, making the major wince as it had been one of his favorites. "Shinji rejected me. First he took away my glory, then he took away my pride, and now he's taken away the only thing that made it bearable… his affection. He's just like his baka of a father. He cares more about Wonder Girl than me. He deserves to rot in hell." Asuka smiled and motioned to the room. "This was an acceptable alternative."

Misato brought a hand up to her face and took a deep steadying breath. "Asuka... what did the therapist say about all this?"

The second child gave her a blank look.

"You… did see the therapist, ne?" The major asked. <Please say yes…>

"Nein, Frau. Mein Gehirn ist nicht krank! [No, woman. My brain is not sick!]" Asuka began to giggle uncontrollably.

Misato frowned. "Asuka-chan, come with me. You're going to see the therapist right away."

"Nein, Frau. Ich lehne ab! [I refuse!]" Asuka gave the major a cross look and stood up on shaky legs, trying to look defiant.

"Soryu, you will come with me to the therapist or I will cancel your pilot status and you'll never see Unit 02 again. And you will cease speaking German since I do not understand it very well. Do I make myself clear?" Misato scowled at Asuka, trying to intimidate the girl. <This is the last thing I needed today, of all days.>

The second child glared at her for several moments then sniffed. "Fine. Take me to the damn doctor. He'll blame everything on my unconscious desire to have sex with my father or some crap like that and I'll leave thinking I'm a worthless piece of Scheiße. So, let's get it over with."

Misato sighed but she didn't cave. They walked to NERV and Misato sat outside in the waiting room while the psychiatrist talked to the second child.

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Shinji sat in the entry plug to Unit 01, taking deep LCL filled breaths and concentrating on becoming one with the Eva. He was thankful that Asuka was not there, as he would have been much more nervous than he already was. As it were, he was already agitated and it was showing. "Ikari, concentrate! Your sync rate is dropping slowly but steadily. What's wrong with you?!" Misato asked from the control room.

"Gomen." Shinji replied automatically. He could hear the irritated hiss over the comm. signal but he ignored it. <One more angel, then I never have to pilot Eva again.>

"Ok, that's it for today, Shinji-kun." Misato's voice came over the intercom. Shinji felt relieved as he was not in the mood to be in the EVA that day.

"Hai, Katsuragi-shousa." Shinji replied. Moments later, he was out of the entry plug and dripping with LCL. "Ugh… I'll take a quick shower before I head home to wash all this gunk off."

He stripped off the plug suit and tossed it into the wash bin then headed into the showers. As he was washing off, he smiled to himself and thought about visiting a hot springs resort after the last angel was defeated, to celebrate and decompress from his ordeal. Asuka's angry eyes flashed in his mind's eye for a moment which made the boy wince and grab his head. "You'll take me with you, won't you Shinji!?" She demanded in his mind.

The third child shook his head violently and leaned back against the cool shower wall. "I'll see if Misato-san would like to go. And maybe even… Rei-chan." He blushed as he allowed himself the familiar term in the privacy of the wash room.

"Shinji-kun? I came to check up on you. Are you feeling well? You seemed… distracted today." A female's voice sounded right in front of him.

Unit 01's pilot snapped his eyes open and forward and quickly covered himself as best he could as he developed a full body blush. "Ibuki-san!? What… what are you doing in the men's washroom!?"

Maya grinned and looked him over. "Oh, are you asking me to leave, Shinji-kun? I thought perhaps some company would make you feel better. More… relaxed?"

Shinji's mind was shocked into silence. Had he been thinking, he would have been caught between the conflicting desire to run and stay. "Nani?"

Maya stripped off her uniform slowly, teasingly, and then stepped into the shower stall. "Surely you've figured it out by now, Shinji-kun…" She grinned and kissed him.

Shinji didn't move, paralyzed by shock. The shock was quickly replaced by desire when the girl's kisses trailed down his chest and stomach however. "I.. Ibuki-chuui?!" <She's not about to…>

"Maya-chan, please, Shinji-kun." The lieutenant corrected playfully before she took him into her mouth.

"MAYA-CHAN!" Shinji shouted, nearly fainting from the sensation. <This… this can't be real, can it!? I always thought she was cute, but… oh my! I mustn't run away… please god don't let me run away!> His fingers stroked through the girl's short hair nervously and he was gasping for breath. Occasionally he'd see Asuka in his mind's eye looking at him with disapproval or anger, but mostly he just saw Maya's head bobbing up and down. He opened his eyes again when the sensation changed and he was surprised to find himself kneeling over a nude Rei, making love to her. "What?! This… this doesn't feel like… my dream…"

Shinji's eyes snapped open and he sat up, in a cold sweat. He shivered and turned to look at the sleeping Rei, who except for the occasional twitch or slight shift in position, remained absolutely still. <I… I thought perhaps we were sharing a dream like we did a lot while we were doing the sync training all those months ago, but I guess it was my dream. I can't think of Rei-san that way. I have to not think of her that way… Are her eyes open?>

"Shinji-kun?" Rei's soft voice called out to him.

"Hai, Rei-san?" He sat up on his knees and leaned over so she didn't have to raise her voice. He could see a flash of disappointment in her eyes but it was gone before he could be sure. <I keep seeing that when I say her name now… is it because… does she think of us as friends? Oh my… I'm insulting her every time I say san…> "Rei-kun." He corrected. [AN: Yes, often kun is used for adolescent boys and would suggest maleness but it doesn't always. It is also used between close friends since san is insulting for that relationship, but it is not quite as informal as chan which is normally reserved for children, especially girls, and between dating couples. Chan can also be used as an insult, say if one man said it to another man it would be like calling him a little girl. Just wanted to clear that up so I don't get reviews saying "Rei isn't a boy you baka!"]

<Well, that's a little better.> "Did I wake you?"

Shinji blinked in surprise. "Iie, I woke up a few moments ago. I was having a strange dream."

Had it not been so dark, Shinji might have noticed a slight blush in Rei's cheeks. "Ah. Since you are up, would you mind getting me a glass of water?"

"Hai. Right away, Rei-kun." Shinji rushed into the kitchen and got the water.

<I had a strange dream, also. First Ibuki-chuui was doing something… rather unusual to me. It was… strangely thrilling. I never knew I could feel that kind of sensation down there… but then… Shinji-kun… I can't think of him that way, he doesn't feel the same way.> "Shinji-kun? We must talk…"

"So ka?" Shinji called from the kitchen, leaning his head back as the water glass filled.

"Hai." She waited until he was heading back into the bedroom so that she wouldn't have to raise her voice. "I am feeling much better now. I can get around on my own. I think it best if you… return to your home with Katsuragi-shousa."

"Chigau! [No way!]" Shinji exclaimed, dropping the glass of water from his shock-numbed fingers. He blushed when Rei winced from the shattering sound. "Gomen…" He knelt down and started gathering up the glass in his bare hands, too upset to think about using a broom and dustpan or even gloves. As a result, he had bloody hands in moments.

"It would be… improper for you to stay here with me when there is no need. And there is very little room. You understand, of course?" Rei asked.

"Rei-kun, I… can't go back to Misato-san's… Asuka and I… we… things are not good between us." He blushed and stared at his bloody hands. <Why are my hands bleeding?>

Rei suppressed a sigh. "I must speak with your father tomorrow. I trust you will return to Katsuragi-shousa's, or make other arrangements. I do not mind you being here, Shinji-kun, but I feel it is improper. Perhaps if our relationship were different…" She forced herself not to continue that sentence.

Shinji did not pick up on that train of thought. "Ryoukai, Ayanami. [Roger that/Understood]" He replied, sounding very much like he had just been ordered to self-destruct his Eva unit.

Rei sighed softly and leaned back against her pillow. <It is for the best, Shinji-kun. Things between you and Soryu couldn't be that bad.>

The third child moved over to sit by the window and stare out of it, Rei's water and his injured hands forgotten. Rei laid back down and fell asleep a while later, hoping that Shinji wasn't too upset.

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"Nagisa Kaoru?" A SEELE lieutenant asked, looking up from her clipboard at the young silver-haired boy with red eyes.

"Hai." He responded in a mellow tone.

The lieutenant, a young Hishida Akemi, nodded in response. "I am to inform you that your transfer to NERV has been delayed."

Kaoru frowned. "Understood. May I ask why?"

"I do not have that information. My guess would be that you are unneeded, or unwanted." Akemi replied.

"What are my orders then, Hishida-shoui?" The apparently undesired and unnecessary pilot asked.

"You are to continue your training as well as continuing the Dummy Plug project. Report to Nakahara-taii at 0800 tomorrow." Akemi informed him then left without another word.

Kaoru turned to stare out the window in the relative direction of Tokyo-3. "What is going on out there? My transfer should have gone through no matter their pilot situation. Someone is interfering, and that is unacceptable." He rested his chin on his hand and stared off into space deep in thought. Something didn't feel quite right and he was curious as to what it was.

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Asuka gave the psychiatrist a teasing grin. "Könnten sie das bitte auf Deutsch wiederholen?"

Dr. Kagame frowned, knowing the girl was taunting him, but he had to play along for now to get past her defenses later on. <Thank goodness I learned German in college to help with my psychology studies.> "Ich sagte, ich möchte sie vier Tage in der Woche sehen." He repeated in German.

"Would you please repeat that in English?" She continued her game.

The doctor's frown deepened into a scowl. <I don't speak English very well, damn it. I hope this game doesn't continue. German I can handle, but English?> "I see you four days week." <I hope that was right.>

"Four days a week doesn't work for me, doctor. Make it two." She had grown bored with forcing him to speak in non-native languages so she switched back to Japanese.

"You will come here every other day. The only exception is holidays or emergencies such as Angel attacks. If you are sick in the hospital you will contact me and I will come to you and have our session there. Am I understood?" He fixed her with a serious glare.

"Ja selbstverständlich, Herr Doktor Kagame. [Of course/naturally Dr. Kagame.]" She replied with a bored wave of her hand.

"All right then. Come back in two days. For now, wait outside while I speak with the major." He stated.

Asuka's eyes narrowed. "You said everything we talk about in here is confidential. You lied to me?"

"No, I did not lie. I will not divulge what we talk about, but I am obligated to give her status reports. Especially today, your first visit. Your status at NERV is dependant upon it. I will not tell her anything other than your mental state and your progress, I assure you." He replied, hoping she'd trust him. Her recovery was too important to throw away on lack of trust.

"Hmph. Hai, Kagame-dono." She stood up and left without a farewell.

Dr. Kagame rubbed his face and sighed, knowing this was the toughest case he had ever been presented with. Most of his other patients had been over-stressed NERV employees, with the occasional officer who had a crush on his or her superior, or even on an inanimate object. But this one… he looked up as Misato walked in. "Ah, Kitsuragi-shousa. If you would be so kind as to sit?"

"Hai, Kagame-dono. So, what can you tell me about Asuka-chan's condition?" The major asked.

He took a moment to look back over his notes, though it was more of a delay tactic than anything else. "Well, she has issues, as you well know. I believe they stem back to early childhood. She's on the verge of a psychotic break, but I think I may be able to prevent it. It's important that you don't treat her any differently than you did before all these symptoms began to present themselves."

Misato nodded. "And what of her pilot status?"

"Normally I would recommend she be taken off the roster until she's more stable. However, it is obvious that she feels piloting the EVA unit is the only thing in her life she is proud of. In fact, she stated it's the only thing she has left. If we take that away from her, she'll definitely have a psychotic breakdown, with potentially disastrous results. Is there any way to allow her to keep piloting without sending her out? Perhaps just for testing?" He asked.

Misato shook her head. "Unit 00 is destroyed and Unit 01 is now on emergency use only, since we can no longer control it. Her Unit 02 is the only one we can send out in case of an angel attack. If she can't pilot effectively, we'll have to see about getting a replacement."

"I believe she will do just fine. I just hope she doesn't become upset at anyone other than the angel if she gets into it… can one of the other pilots use Unit 02, if it is necessary?" He asked.

Misato frowned in thought. "I don't know. We've cross-tested Ikari and Ayanami, but only Soryu has piloted Unit 02. I'll make sure they are both tested in 02, so we know."

Dr. Kagame nodded. "I will be seeing Soryu every other day. The only exceptions being holidays and emergencies. If necessary I will increase it to every day."

Misato stood up and bowed her head slightly. "Understood. Keep me informed on her progress, please." She walked out with a polite farewell and took Asuka home, hoping the girl would recover.

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Teehee, yes, I am leaving it a mystery as to whether Misato killed Kaji before she left. So, don't bother asking cuz I'm not telling. Perhaps later I will, but not any time soon. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and feel free to review. Next chapter: The fate of Shinji, and "the talk" between Rei and Gendo. [Scary music is cued]