Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ So Happy Together ❯ chapter 15 ( Chapter 14 )

Because of the angel alert siren, Shinji was running toward the nearest NERV entrance to get to his EVA. His two friends had left his place and ran in the other direction to get to the nearest shelter. As the pilot ran, he noticed that the earthquake caused little to no damage in the city. Even the old relic he and Rei lived in was barely affected by it. The city was built to withstand angel attacks, so an earthquake was no match for them. Though he hated to admit it, couldn't help feeling a surge of pride because he knew that his father designed them.

When he got to NERV everyone was running around frantically. They were acting like this was the first angel attack they had ever been through. As he tried to make his way through the frantic people, he heard a familiar voice yelling at him.

"Shinji! What took you so long?! Get dressed and to your EVA A.S.A.P!!"

"Hai Misato-san!" the third child called back and ran with even more haste to the boy's locker.

"Oh wait!"

He stopped and turned to face her direction.

"You're going to need this!" She threw him a flashlight. "The electricity is down in that sector, so you won't have any light!"

Shinji reached up to catch the item, then remembered his arm was completely sore and dropped it.

The major sighed and shook her head.

As the boy bent down to pick up the flash light he called out. "Thanks Misato-san!" He stood back up, flashed her a grateful smile, and started running in the direction of the locker room.

Before the pilot was out of sight she yelled. "And if you see Ayanami, tell her to hurry up and get to her Eva too!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With his flash light to guide his way, Shinji walked into the locker room. He perched up the flash light and quickly began to undress. Right after he pulled off his shirt he saw it....

"EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!!!"

Two glowing red eyes that scared the crap out of him. In a terrified reaction, he knocked over the light, and backed up until his back slammed against the locker.

The flashlight fell to the ground and rolled until it shined on that dark corner, revealing the figure and the possessor of those glowing orbs.

"Rei-chan...?" Shinji asked sheepishly. "Is that you?"

She slowly stepped forward into the light, but did not verbally answer. She was still adorned in her plug suit. Her hair was matted into thick blue locks because of the artificial LCL. Her eyes were glowing bright red.

He put his hand on his chest to calm his heart beat. "You scared me!"

She didn't respond.

<you're still scaring me> "Is something wrong, my love?"

After about a minute, she answered. "Do you not trust me?" Though her voice was gentle, it rumbled like thunder.

"Of course I do." His brow furrowed quizzically, and he walked toward her. "Whatever gave you any indication that I didn't?"

"You lied to me." Her voice rang with a controlled rage.

Shinji stopped in his tracks. This wasn't the first time he was told that today. "What are you talking about?"

She didn't answer.

He put his hands up in front of his chest and assured "Rei-chan, I have never lied to you...."

Rei's eyes burned brighter and all the lockers started to violently rattle and shake.

"Oh my gawd..." Shinji was terrified. "Rei-chan... please calm down and tell me what's wrong!"

"You_ and Misato..." She narrowed her eyes. "You lied to me!"

<Touji and Kensuke, you're going to get it for telling her> "My love, I didn't lie..."

A locker whizzed past his face, barely missing him, and crashed into nothing, on the other side of the room. The third child took that as his queue to run and the GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!!!

The first child narrowed her blazing eyes and mentally growled <where do you think you're going?>

A hexagonal wall appeared in front of Shinji, blocking his escape. The boy quickly to turned to the left, to get around it, but another wall appeared. He turned toward the other direction, another wall appeared. He didn't even bother to turn and face Rei again, he knew there was a wall behind him. The four walls immediately started closing in on him and melding together. He was trapped in hexagon type bubble.

In complete and unabashed fear, Shinji tightly pressed his eyes shut, crouched down, tucked his knees close to his chest and used his hands to cover his ears so that he could try to block out all the noise as he mentally hid into a ball. <I'm sorry Rei-chan... for whatever I did to anger you>

She hated being lied to! No matter how bad the news, she always wanted to know the truth. She stood there and watched him as he was trapped in his terrified state.

Shinji started to float in that bubbled as if there were no gravity in there. She watched him, curled up into a little ball floating and bouncing off the walls of the bubble. Then a sinking feeling hit her stomach. Just as there was no gravity in there.. <there's no air in there!!> She didn't know how she knew, but she knew there was no air in there.

Now Shinji would have probably noticed that he was suffocating, if he wasn't already holding his breath in fear.

After three failed attempts to dissipate the bubble, Rei outwardly became hysterical with fear. She didn't know how to control her powers yet. She didn't even know how she made the bubble in the first place! And she sure as heck didn't know how to pop it! She kept frantically flicking her wrist toward the bubble as she mentally cried <please let him go... please let him go... please let him go> It wasn't working and she was outwardly crying now. It wouldn't release him. The first child was so scared. She was going to kill her boyfriend on mistake! With tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, she looked up at the ceiling and prayed to God in heaven. "Please get him out of there!"

Instantly the bubble disappeared and the pilot of unit 01 fell unceremoniously to the floor.

The pilot fell on his sore arm and side. "Owww" Shinji groaned out in a whisper. He remained on the floor and curled into a tighter ball. He figured that there was nowhere to run, so he might as well stay there and get what's coming to him.

The first child looked at her boyfriend with a shocked relief. < thank you, God!!> Then she realized something. <he's afraid of me> That realization was even worse than when she realized she was lied too. She took a deep breath to suppress the flood of different emotions consuming her insides and walked over to him. She took one more deep breath before she gently placed her hand on his shoulder. Rei honestly expected him to jump out of his skin with fear, but he didn't. He just brought his head up to see her and smiled warmly as if he forgave her.

"I... I am.. sorry, Shinji" she admitted as she wiped away her tears. She really was. It wasn't like she knew how to control her powers yet. It wasn't like she purposely trapped him in that bubble. She just wanted to stop him from running away. Rei truly was really sorry because she could have killed or really hurt him on mistake.

Shinji slowly stood up and nodded. He was too shocked by what transpired to speak. The only thing that kept him from having a heart attack was that he already knew that she wasn't human. She was an angel, and all the angels had awesome powers. He gingerly took her hand in his and led her to a bench to sit down. He needed to sit down. At the moment, his knees felt like jelly because he was still scared of what she might do to him in her anger.

When they both got to the bench, the lights came on. Shinji looked at her, then to the steel locker on the other side of the room that was crushed like an aluminum soda can, then back to his beloved. Her eyes were still burning with fury. He swallowed hard.

The blue haired angel stared at her boyfriend for about a minute.

In fear, the brown haired boy stared back at his girlfriend for about a minute.

The first child scooted closer to him.

Shinji stiffened if fear.

Rei then did something completely unexpected. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried onto his shoulder. He didn't know why she was doing this, but he took it as a good sign that she wasn't angry any more.

Rei was crying because she was overwhelmed with relief that she didn't kill him and the guilt that she almost killed him. (Nothing like soul wrenching fear to dissipate one's anger.) However, she was still angry. Just not as furious as she was before.

The third child embraced her back and tried to comfort her. He wasn't mad at her for scaring him half to death. He loved her too much and could never find it in himself to ever stay mad at her. Especially when she cried. Although... he also didn't know that he could have died in that bubble.

Once she started to calm down, Shinji brushed some of her sticky hair behind her ear, then pulled her back so that he could see her beautiful face and began. "It's true Rei-chan, I did sleep with Misato-san..." He waited for a reaction. Beside her wiping away her tears, he didn't receive one. So he continued. "But I didn't lie... I just never brought it up because you never asked."

"....." <what the hell kind of explanation is that!!> After about a minute Rei collected herself to a point where she could speak and said with controlled anger. "So if I failed to mention that I slept with... say... Kaji-san because you never asked, it wouldn't be a lie?"

"But it would be a lie." Shinji assured sweetly as he looked deeper into the two infernos that were her eyes. "You already told me that you were a virgin."

"This body's a virgin." Rei mentioned calmly as she gestured to her body.

"WHAT?!!!!!" Shinji yelled, stood up and stomped toward the door. "I'm going to kill that bastard for touching you!!!"

Rei was taken back. She wasn't expecting him to react like that. She ran after him and grabbed his wrist, but she couldn't stop him. He just dragged her along. "Shinji, stop!"

He didn't listen. He was too angry.

She let him go and ran in front of him and stopped his movement. She *wasn't* going to even try use her divine power again. "Now do you understand how I felt when I found out about you?"

The third child looked into his beloveds eyes. They weren't glowing anymore. "Please get out of my way, Rei-chan."

She shook her head. "No, because what I told you is not true. This body and all my bodies were virgins. I assure you."

Shinji took a deep relieved breath and looked directly into her crimson eyes. "Why did you say that then?"

"I wanted you to understand how it felt.. to be lied to."

He shook his head. "But I didn't lie.."

"Sometimes an omission is the exact same thing" she countered.

He didn't agree with her logic but nodded anyway and said. "I'm sorry." (he lived with two melodramatic women for two years, he knew that it is always better to take the blame)

She took his hand and led him back into the locker room.

"Oh shoot, I better get ready! I need to get to my Eva!!"

"Why?" she asked innocently.

"Because there is an angel..." He looked at his beloved. "...attack.."

She gave him a knowing expression.

He sighed and raked his hand over his face. "That was you, huh?"

She nodded. <duh> She sat back on the bench and patted the seat next to her.

He understood the unspoken command. He sat next to her and asked "Are you still mad?"

She thought about it. "Yes."

He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry Rei-chan. I didn't think it was important."

Rei couldn't believe what she just heard. "How could you say that? You gave her your special gift. (that's what the commander told her it was) How could it not be important?"

He shrugged.

She looked at him with even more disbelief. "Didn't you love her?"

A very guilty expression came across his face, and he slowly shook his head no.

Rei's jaw almost hit the ground. That was the BIGGEST no no. The commander told her so. He said that you had to love someone before you were intimate in that way. You had to!! "You gave away your special gift to someone you didn't even love?!!"

Shinji looked away from his love. She looked so disappointed in him. "It happened at a very confusing time in my life." He knew that was a sorry excuse, but it was worth a try.

"....."

He elaborated. "You remember... what we talked about during the third impact... I just... I didn't want to feel alone anymore."

"...."

The third child realized that she wasn't buying what he was selling. He cupped his face in his hands and muffled. "Rei-chan... say something."

Rei leaned forward and tried to see his face between the openings of his fingers. "Was she in love with you?"

Shinji shrugged his shoulders. "I don't thinks so.. I believe she was just horny."

"....."

He dropped his hands down and looked at is beloved. Her eyes were tripled their regular size and she was stiff with shock. "Rei-chan?"

Slowly her eyes focused on him. "Was she drunk?"

He swallowed hard and meekly admitted. "Only the first time."

"...."

Shinji watched in fear. This was one of the reasons he never told her. His father had given her this Puritan view of sex. <thank gawd he forgot to mention a few things> He knew that his truest of loves wasn't ready to hear this confession. He just hoped that she would dump him because of it.

<I wish I never knew this> She looked at her boyfriend. "Shinji did you at least love Asuka when you had sex with her?"

His brow furrowed guiltily. I didn't want to admit the truth to her.

Rei hung her head down and shook it. She was really disappointed in Shinji. It was like he totally ignored all there rules of the facts of life. It was like he never even had the *talk*!!!!

The third child gingerly lifted her head to face him. "If if makes any difference.. I tried to love her."

Rei just looked at him. <no that doesn't make a difference!!>

Shinji continued when he saw that her subtle response became even more distressed. "It's just impossible to love two people at one time."

"What?" Rei asked weakly. She didn't understand his logic.

"Rei-chan, I've loved you for so long. Even before Asuka *decided* that I was her boyfriend...." He gingerly took her hand in his, and kissed her palm. "I couldn't give my heart to her because it was already yours. It was no longer mine to give."

Rei's brow furrowed. "Then why did you date her?"

"I really didn't have a choice in the matter." He shrugged his shoulders. "She said that I was her boyfriend now and all other women better keep their hands off me...." He looked embarrassed by the confession. "It's not like I ever made any of my own decisions back then, and that one just added to the multitude that was made for me." He rubbed the back of his head. "I think I can count on my left hand how many times I made my own decisions during that time of my life."

Rei looked at him knowingly.

"Even when we had sex... Misato or Asuka... they were the ones that initiated it." He gave her a nasty grin. "It's not like I was gonna refuse them.." He looked at her in her eyes and gave her a cocky nod. "I_ am_ a guy!"

Rei took a deep breath to calm her anger. "Ok Shinji. I'm glad we have the type of relationship where we can talk about anything... But this is a bit much."

"Oh" He blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan."

She nodded as she grinded her teeth. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?" <that doesn't pertain to sex!>

He thoroughly thought about it. "No I don't think so.. but if I think of something, I'll be sure to tell you." He scratched the back of his head. "Ummm Rei-chan, are you still mad at me?"

She shook her head no. "Shinji, I could never stay mad at you... I love you too much."

He breathed out in relief. "I feel that same about you."

She looked at him. Her eyes twinkled with suppressed anger.

He winced. <oh kay she's still a little angry>

She quickly stood up. "I must go."

"Where?" He asked sheepishly.

She didn't answer.

"You're not going to kill anyone are you?" he asked teasingly with a hint of fear.

"Not today" she answered in her calm voice.

Anyone else would think she was serious because of the tone in her voice, but Shinji knew better, he relaxed and started laughing as he watched her disappearing figure. Those two had such a weird humor.

A moment later, Misato showed up at the locker room door. "Why the $&^%* aren't you dressed and in your EVA?!!!"

Shinji almost jumped out of his skin. He was about to tell her that he didn't see that point, but that would point out that it was Rei that set off the alarm. "I'll be right there, Misato-san!"

"Well hurry the hell up!" She turned to leave then back around "Since, your Eva still refuses to operate, and the commanders here, you will be sent into battle instead of Rei. You will be using unit 00!"

Shinji nodded. He figured as much. Especially since the direction Rei was walking wasn't anywhere near the direction of her Eva.

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Rei was thinking about what Shinji told her. Primarily what he said about Asuka. She shook her head dejectedly. She knew that the second child loved Shinji. Truly loved him, in her own sadistic, over compulsive, cruel way. She also knew that Asuka knew that Shinji never loved her. He cared for her and tried to love her, but he never could find it in himself. Rei figured that was the root to the second child's hate for her. But then again .. <she was nuts since the very first time I meet the girl> Either way, Rei didn't feel like she deserved to die. Not because of a fight. But she knew that's what was going to happen if the commander ever found out about it.

Rei had just arrived at her destination. It was NERV security. She swiped her card and walked in.

"You can't come in here!" yelled one of the guards as he got out of his seat.

"If I didn't have the authority, I would not of been able to get in." the first child answered calmly then ignored his presence. She observed the hundreds of tv screens that showed almost all the different sectors of NERV. She was looking for one screen in particular.

Another guard came toward her. "I think I know what you are looking for."

She looked up at him. "Do you?"

He nodded and waved her to follow him. It was toward the back of the room. The tv the showed the girls locker room.

"Play back the tape." Rei softly commanded.

The guy nodded and obeyed. There it was, the fight between the first and second child.

"You really beat the hell out of her." the guy commented.

<yes_ I did> Rei didn't outwardly respond to that comment "Is this the only tape?"

He nodded.

She held out her hand so he could give it to her. He reluctantly put it in her hand and asked "What am I supposed to do now that the tape is missing?"

Rei turned around and walked towards the exit. "That's your problem." (N.A. don't forget she was raised by the commander ^_^)

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In a feat against nature, the commander walked through the long corridors toward the magi. By his appearance, one couldn't tell that he was seriously hurt.

The professor, who walked behind his friend, was impressed that the commander could even stand up, but to walk piously like he wasn't even injured..... <wow>

<oh my gawd my ribs hurt> The commander inwardly whined over and over again. He felt like his broken ribs were poking into his internal organs. If he wasn't so strong willed, he would be crying like a baby right now because of the pain.

When the first and second commander reached the magi, they open it up and started configuring it not to detect Rei's blue light signature as threatening or as an angel signature. From now on, it was going to be detected as a normal fluctuation of gamma rays from the sun.

"Gendo, we really should have done this in the first place." The professor chuckled softly as he worked. "But I'm not one to say I told you so." <but I told you so>

Besides rolling his eyes, he commander didn't respond. He just worked quickly before their actions were detected. He was in too much pain to care about what Kozo was gloating about.

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Shinji was sitting uncomfortably in Rei's Eva. He hated being in unit 00. It almost killed him once. And even though he often practiced and tested in it, he never forgot or got over that first time it went berserk. It was worse than when a dummy plug took control of one's Eva. He didn't trust it. Rei said that she was bonded to it, but he could tell by the shimmers in her eyes when she looked at it, or when someone mentioned it that she didn't trust it either. It had something to do with the soul that was trapped in it.

Like his Eva, Asuka's had the soul of her mother in it. How?... Only a chosen few knew, and he wasn't one of them. Although, he was sure that Rei knew. She didn't tell him though, that info was classified.

"What the hell are we waiting for!!" screamed the fiery red head through the intercom. "Why haven't we been transported to the surface?!!"

Misato yelled back "Where trying to get a fix on the Angel!"

Shinji rolled his eyes and sighed. <this is a complete waist of time>

~~~~~~~~~~

The major looked over Makoto's shoulder and at the screen of the map of the city. "Where the $&%^ is it?"

The young man shrugged his shoulders as he ran another test to find its location. Actually, he knew exactly where and who the angel was. He was one of the chosen few that was working on the Tojiru Project. He knew that blue light pattern, like he knew the back of his hand. He was just giving the Major the run around. As so were Maya and Shigeru.

The alarm stopped.

"What the hell?" The major looked at her subordinates in a confused manner. They gave her the same look; however they were just acting.

A few moments later, the commander's voice was heard on the central intercom. "The magi made an error. This was a false alarm, triggered by the earthquake. Disregard all measures taken in preparation for an angel attack. I repeat this was false alarm."

<like hell it was!!> Ritsuko thought defensively. <The magi does not make mistakes!> She was pissed; her mom created the magi and she hated for anyone to talk ill of it. She knew of an angel or at least *half angel* that could set off the alarm <Rei, how dare you sully my mother's genius!> Her eyes narrowed angrily.

The major had glanced at her friend and noticed her darkened disposition and winced. <I'll ask her what's wrong later> She turned back around and spoke into the microphone to the two pilots. "Well you heard the commander. It was a false alarm so get out and get washed up!"

Asuka spewed out a bunch of curses about how incompetent the magi was. Which made the doctor even more angry at the blue haired angel. Shinji quietly yet quickly exited Rei's Eva. He hated being in there. It was eerie.

Misato turned to her friend but Ritsuko had already stomped out of the control deck. "Where'd she go?"

Maya looked at the major and got up out of her seat "I think she was headed towards her office."

Katsuragi nodded and walked out to follow her friend.

The three left looked at each other knowingly.

"That was close." Aoba commented as he got out of his seat

Makoto stood up from his seat. "Too close."

"I can't believe how powerful she is!" Maya said in awe.

The two men nodded in agreement. Then Makoto added "The Tojiru project might be pulled off successfully after all."

"Until now, I didn't think she would be able to pull it off." Aoba admitted.

"Me either" the other two admitted and walked out of the control deck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Rei was walking toward her office, to dispose of the tape, she ran into the first and second commander.

"Rei."

Though she felt like her heart was going burst out her chest, she forced herself to calmly answer. "Yes sir." She didn't want to draw attention to the tape in her hand.

"I need to speak to you" the commander said in his usual dispassionate voice.

"Hai." She turned to go in the direction they were headed. She knew exactly what he wanted to talk about.

"Later." He added then inwardly groaned. Right now he was on his way to the infirmary to get his ribs wrapped up.

"Hai." She turned around and headed for her office.

The second commander noticed the tape in her hand but didn't comment on it. The first was too occupied with his own pain to notice it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Between the two pilots, Shinji was the first to get out the Eva. When he saw Asuka getting out of hers, he tried to make a run for it, but was stopped by a vindictive comment.

"So they decided to sacrifice you and me, instead of the precious Ayanami?"

Shinji reluctantly turned around and winced when he saw the girls face. She looked like she just got the hell beat out of her. "What happened, Asuka?"

"Oh this?" She gestured to her face and gently place her right hand on her bruised and swollen jaw "I informed your little b*tch with a little information... She didn't take it too well."

Shinji narrowed his eyes in anger. <so it was you who told her> Then widened them in shock "You knew?"

"Of course I knew, Baka!!" She spat out with pure disgust. "Did you honestly believe I couldn't hear you guys through those paper thin walls?!!!"

The third child looked at his feet in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Asuka."

"Anta Baka! You're always sorry!!"

He looked at her dejectedly.

"You are so pathetic! Do you know that?" She spit a mixture of LCL and her own blood out of her mouth and bitterly lied. "I'm so glad I dumped your @$$!!"

Shinji didn't say anything, he just continued staring at her.

Asuka looked into his blue eyes. The eyes she loved so much. They were filled with pity. He pitied her. That bastard had the nerve to pity her. HER of all people! She began to speak, but her voice had lost the sharpness it once held. "I'm better off without you, you know?"

Shinji nodded empathetically. "You're right. You are?"

She vigorously shook her head no . That wasn't what he was supposed to say! He was supposed to say that he made a mistaking when he chose to be with that %*^&ing doll. That he wanted to come back to her. He was supposed to say that he loved her... HER not that damn freak! She fell to her knees and started to cry.

Shinji watched the girl. In all the years he had know her, he had never seen her so broken and hurt emotionally. Not even after her worst nightmares. He quickly walked over to her, fell to his knees and embraced her. He had two years of experience in knowing how to get her to calm down and to get her a back to her obnoxious self. He had to... it was his fault she was like this.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and cried into his chest. Shinji caressed her hair in a comforting manner and allowed her to find comfort in him as she had done so many times before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A shiver went down the first child's spine. She stopped in her tracks, turned around and started to walk in the direction of her Eva. Because she was bonded to it, she heard it speak to her and it had told her something...

~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo was in the infirmary. He had just called Ritsuko and was waiting for her to arrive, as he sat on one of the medical beds with the paper for a sheet.

Ritsuko was in her office talking to Misato when she got the call. She didn't rush her conversation. She actually finished it, *and* the cup of coffee she was drinking before she went to see what he wanted. She was pissed at him for what he said about the magi.

When the good doctor walked in the infirmary, the first thing she noticed was that Gendo was sitting on the bed. She gave him a surprised happy smile. He didn't tell her what he wanted. He just told her to come and come quickly. Which she didn't ^.^ She looked around, there was no one else in there. Not even the 2nd commander. She closed and locked the door behind her. Since he was on the bed, she had a feeling why he was there.

"At work Gendo-chan?" she said in a seductive voice. "You are such a bad boy."

Gendo's brow furrowed. He hated when she called him that. It proved that she clearly didn't understand the basis of their private relationship. Which could be defined in one word. SEX. "What are you talking about?" he asked in a cold cruel tone. "I've come here to get my ribs bandaged up. They were broken during the *earth quake!*"

A flood of emotions went through Dr Akagi. Anger for the way he just spoke to her. Satisfaction that he was hurt because of the way he spoke to her. Fear that he could be seriously injured. Anger, again, because he said that the magi made an error due to the earth quake. (she didn't know that it was Rei's powers that shook NERV, she only knew that it was the girl's powers that set off the magi.)

"Oh." she finally said in a bitter tone. "First we need to take some x-rays to see whether they are actually broken or just fractured."

"They're_ broken." The commander said absolutely in an angry tone. He held up an x-ray sheet in his hand. "The third and fourth on my right side are broken. On my left, the fourth and the fifth are severely fractured."

She was taken back by his knowledge on his condition. "When did you have that done?"

"I had Fuyutsuki do it while I was %&*^&ing waiting for you to get here!" he growled angrily.

She winced in fear. "I... got here.. as soon as I could" she lied.

He didn't believe her, but he was too sore to continue this conversation. If he didn't deem her necessary for his project, he would have killed her then and there.

To avoid his hateful glare, she walked over to one of the medicine cabinets and took out some bandages.

~~~~~~~

Rei had just arrived at the doors that led to either the commander's observation deck or the Eva loading dock. She had a choice to make. Her Eva wanted her to go to the loading dock. Rei shook he head no. For all she knew, it could be a trap. She didn't trust her Eva, at all. For all she knew, it probably figured out a way to go berserk without a pilot being inside it and wanted to squash her like a bug. She wasn't sure. But what ever it wanted, she knew it dealt with something that could hurt her. So she chose to go to the observation deck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji still held Asuka in his arms, even though she had calmed down. He knew that even though she acted tough, she could be just as vulnerable as the next person. He also knew that she was hurting because of him... because he left her. After about another minute, he slowly started to pull back and let her go.

She felt his strong arms releasing her and already she missed the feeling of his embrace. At that moment, she regretted never once telling him how safe and happy she felt in his arms.. <maybe it's not to late> She took a deep breath and sniffed out. "Please... please don't let me go.. I feel safe with you.."

Shinji took a deep breath and forced himself to comply to her request. He didn't want to. It felt wrong. He knew that if his Rei-chan saw this scene she would get the wrong idea. He might lose her. He looked down at Asuka as she snuggled her head in his chest. <No. I'm sorry Asuka but I can't lose Rei for you> He started to release her again but she held onto him tighter and started to cry again. He sighed dejectedly; he was stuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei was in the commander's observation deck and standing in front of the window. She was observing the two *ex's* as they embraced each other. It was weird because she didn't know how to feel at that moment. All she could think was <damn this a long day> Was she mad at Shinji? ...No. Why? Because Asuka was so sad. She knew that Shinji wouldn't push her away in her time of need. She didn't expect him to. He had told her how he would always comfort the second child when she had nightmares. Was this sorrow any different than all those time? Not really. Anyways, he was protecting her for the same reason SHE was protecting Asuka when she retrieved the tape of their fight. Pity and Guilt. <what a horrid feeling.> However, she continued to observe their behavior. She wasn't stupid, she didn't trust the second child.

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In a sweet and broken voice Asuka began. "Remember when you used to hold me like this Shinji... remember when you used to be my hero and always hold me like this........."

Shinji looked down at her and arched an eyebrow. Sure, he remembered being woken up in the middle of the night to calm her down. Sure, he remembered losing a night's sleep so she could find comfort in him. But for her to say the he was her hero?... That's not how he remembered it. It was more like Anta Baka, I'm not as pathetic as you, I don't need you or your help! You're only here to get a cheep feel you perv! Or other rants similar to that nature. Hero, thank you, or other kind words... never graced her lips.

Shinji didn't verbally respond to her question.

She continued in her sweet dejected voice. "Don't you wish that it was like that again?"

<HELL NO!!!!!> Shinji placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back to see her face. "Are you going to be ok now?"

Asuka stared at him with a dumfounded expression. "Shinji... do you not know what I'm trying to say to you?"

The third child looked like he was very uncomfortable at the moment. He knew what she was hinting at. He just hoped she wouldn't say it.

With her blue eyes, she stared into his. She was searching for something that wasn't there. She knew it wasn't there, but she decided to confess anyway. "Shinji... I love you." She hoped that it would make him come back to her.

<dammit she said it> The boy became even more uncomfortable. This was the first time she had ever said that to him. He wished she didn't. He really wished she didn't because those words changed everything. Interactions with her could no longer continue the way they used to be. No longer could he keep on believing that her desires to have him back was based purely on her possessive nature and that she hated to lose to his Rei-chan. Nor could he con himself into believing that she was too evil to know what love is. By believing this, he could go on still being her *friend* But now it's all ruined. This changed everything. The third child was now really uncomfortable. He didn't know what to say or how to respond to her confession. Worst of all, he could tell that she was teetering on the edge of sanity and he didn't want to be the one to push her over.

The second child could tell by the third's eyes that the feelings weren't mutual. <Anta Baka .. why can't you love me!!> She tried one last thing. She grabbed the back of his head and tried to force a kiss on him.

Tried, being the operative word. Shinji pulled back and turned his face to avoid her kiss. "Asuka, No!"

This infuriated the girl and she pushed him back, making him fall from his knees to his butt. She quickly stood up and towered over him. "Why? Shinji?!.. Why can't you love me? What so precious about that *&^*&ing doll?"

Shinji scrambled to his feet and yelled back. "Rei-chan in _not_ a doll!!"

"Like hell she isn't!!" she shot back with bitter venom. "Why her? Of all people in the world!!" she screamed. "Why the girl I hate the most?"

"It's not about you, Asuka. Not everything is about you!!" He took a deep breath to summon up his courage. "I love Rei! With everything I am. I love her! It's not about you."

"Then why did you lead me on?!" She gestured to their past embrace. "Why did you just hold me and make me hope that I had a chance... we had a chance?!"

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to.." Shinji looked down at his feet. " ... I was just trying to be a friend."

To her, that word was a putrid as sour milk. "A friend?.. You can keep your $&%*ing friendship, Baka!"

He nodded.

She shook her head. He was not supposed to accept that. He should be protesting and demanding to stay in her life. "Why Shinji? I loved you first!!" She yelled. "You should love me because I loved you first!!"

Shinji gave her a dumbfounded expression "Asuka this isn't a race... Anyways, Rei loved me long before we even dated... She loved me enough to sacrifice herself and her Eva..."

"She was told to!" Asuka spat out, trying to reiterated that fact that she thought Rei was a doll.

"No_ she wasn't." Shinji said knowingly. "*I* was told to help her and to save her. It was she, who sacrificed herself to save me.... because she loved me."

The second child wasn't accepting this. She kept shaking her head in disbelief.

"Now that I really know her, I realize that she even told me so that day...." He held back his tears. That was still a painful memory. Only a chosen few knew the truth about that day, and he was one of them. He knew that he watched her kill herself... for him. "She told me that she loved me... not only in words but in her actions."

<too bad she didn't die> She ignored his words as yelled "I thought you said that she scared you..?"

"She did.." he admitted, " because she could hurt me." He patted his chest above his heart.

She knew exactly what he meant by that gesture. "And I couldn't?" she asked bitterly.

With a guilty expression, he looked away.

"So I was just your %*&^ing substitute?" she growled angrily. "You were with me because you never cared enough about me to where I could break your pathetic heart!!"

He didn't look at her but assured "I did care for you....."

"Just not enough!!!" she spat out. "You didn't care enough for it to scare you...You didn't care enough for you to love...." She shook her head angrily, pushed him out of the way, and stomped pasted him.

The third child didn't follow her. Instead he sighed dejectedly and looked up toward the ceiling. It was the first time that he ever noticed that it was so high he could barely see it. After a few minutes of staring, he absently glanced at the his father's observation deck. <shimita!>

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei noticed her boyfriend look in her direction. He looked like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. After about a minute of deciding how to responded to his shocked disposition, she nodded in approval.

~~~~~~~~~

Shinji felt like his heart was in his throat. He didn't know how Rei was going to react to seeing him and Asuka together. Especially seeing that she was so angry not so long ago. He breathed a sigh or relief when she nodded almost royally. Her understanding response only made him love her more. He watched his beloved turn and leave and he took that as his queue to run an catch her at the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji met her at the commanders entrance and embraced her when she was within arm's reach. "It's not what it looked like" he assured almost pleadingly.

"I know" she answered sweetly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I could hear everything."

"How?"

"Microphones."

"Oh" <I better watch what I say on the dock for now on>

She kissed him, which he returned greedily. When they pulled back they both said

"Yuck" and started to smack their respected lips as they tried to get rid of the horrid LCL taste. It was worse for Rei, because Shinji's mouth also tasted like all that food <meat> he was eating before he came to NERV.

"So I scare you, ne?" she asked softly.

He placed his thumb under her lower eyelid and placed his index finger right under her thin eyebrow and widened her eye then asked teasingly "You mean with that glowing eye thing?"

She brushed his hand away from her face and narrowed her crimson eyes playfully.

He laughed and admitted "Yes and yes." He knew what she was originally asking about.

She looked saddened by his response and lowered her head.

Gingerly the third child raised her head with his hand, and gave her a butterfly kiss on the lips. "Rei-chan.. It scares me to see you that angry.. but for the same reason I've always been scared of you...."

"And why is that?" she asked quizzically yet sadly.

"Because if you're that angry with me, you might not want to do this anymore..." He gestured to the both of them. "You might not want to stay with me... and you might leave me. I'm scared because I don't know if I could handle you not being in my life. I need you..."

She quickly gave him another kiss, which he returned greedily. When they parted they both said

"I love you" (they ignored the taste and enjoyed the moment)

They were about to engage in another passionate kiss when Rei eyes caught the sight of the commander coming in their direction. She quickly pulled out of Shinji's embrace and put the video tape in his hand.

"Dispose of this immediately" she ordered in a whisper. If *she* was caught with it the commander would put two and two together and Asuka would be *erased* If Shinji had it.. the commander wouldn't even notice it.

Shinji looked down at the tape, quirked an eyebrow, and nodded.

Before she backed away to a respectable distance, she commanded. "Make sure that it is *destroyed*"

He gave her a quizzical look, but nodded anyway.

The commander walked toward his two *children* but only looked at the first child. "Rei, I want you to accompany me as I run a diagnostic of the damage created by the *earth quake*"

She looked up at him and nodded knowingly. "Hai."

Shinji looked at his feet. He could tell that he was being blatantly ignored.

Through his peripheral the commander looked at his son. His heart broke. The boy reminded him so much of Yui. He want to say something but didn't know *what* to say to the boy. He didn't know how to act around his son. So he avoided him. It wasn't like he could all of a sudden become the caring, loving, father. He didn't know how to do that even if he wanted to. Which he did.. sorta, kinda, not. However, he did want a relationship with his son, but he knew it was too late. To much bitter resentment passed between both of them. Gendo returned his full focus to the child he could relate to.

Rei had looked from the commander, to her boyfriend, then back to the commander, and she was not pleased. She hated so see Shinji get his feelings hurt. Though her face kept a passive indifference, her eyes shimmered with...

<disappointment?... Rei you're disappointed with me? what did I do?> The commander looked away from her and at his son's saddened disposition. <oh> The commander took a deep silent breath to summon his courage and said "Ikari." His tone clearly expressed that it was both a hello and a good-bye. The commander quickly continued on his way. He didn't even have to courage to see how his son would respond to being acknowledged.

Though his father didn't see it, Shinji's disposition brightened up considerably. He looked at his girlfriend and gave her a warm happy smile.

Rei smiled back, gave a quick nod, and followed his father before she was called on. As she walked to catch up with the commander's hurried pace, she started thinking. She thought about Shinji's response, Asuka's confession about him wanting his fathers attention, the commander volunteering to help ensure Shinji's birthday present was a success, and just now, when he practically ran after saying hello to his son. A small smile graced her perfect lips as she realizes something. They both want to know each other but was too afraid to even try. <so I guess this is where I come in>

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I don't own anything that deals with Evangelion.

I haven't forgotten about Misato-san trust me ^_~