Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Against all odds ❯ Gathering one's bearings ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Shadow Megatron
Brian meets everyones favorite pervert.
Ranma thinks on the trivial.
Cologne gets grossed out.

We learn things about the 'Key'
And the fact he has a foul mouth

Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Martial Arts / Drama / Angst / Supernatural | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.24.2006 | Updated On: 09.10.2008 | Pages: 6 | Words: 4.3K | Visits: 738 | Status: Work In Progress

================================================================= ===
Chapter 2 Gathering one's bearings
================================================================= ===
In his 30 something years of life? Brian had NEVER been so absolutelly stumped
or mystified in his entire life. Not that being confounded and confused was a novelty
to put it bluntlly it wasn't Brian although being inteligent somewhat and having a
highschool education upto year 10 albeit a shaky one at that. Being stumped was
nothing new. But that didn't mean he appreciated being made too look like a fool or
imbicile either. Simmilar to one Chaos Magnet whom shall remain nameless
Brian DID have some pride in what he was and his somewhat mediocre achievements.
 
He survived in his own world until this jaunt into the 'Ranmaverse' and to put it
bluntly he was justified to be a little pissed off at the wizeass that thought it would
be amusing to put him in a situation that could compound the misery he felt in his
own reality and make it more uncomfortable my many folds inchomprihencable to
his woefully lacking intelect.
 
The redfhead was currentlly in the Nerima park seated on a rock in the 'Thinker'
position wracking his brain at what or whom he pissed off in his previous life to
get this much bad karma to bite him on the ass literally as well as figruitive.
 
Some of the nermians gave the gaijin a wide berth as Brian gave the impression
of a crazy martial artist. With thew wild and angry look to his features at this
point of time? You could excuse the people for thinking that Brian WAS a
powerful martial artist. In reality though he was the exact opposite.
Sure he held a yellow belt in Karate and an orange belt in Ninjukai Taijitsu.
But that was nothing to write home about or praise. Especially given the
rather unique if not dark temprement of his mental abilities. Sad to say but
Brian mentally was one fucked up peice of work. Nowhere near the
wanton sadism and cruelty that was Slade ore any other wannabe supervillian.
 
Brian's 'evilness' was the stuff of kindergardeners compared to the like of
Apokolips, Trigon and Darkseid. However it couldn't be said that Brian was
a 'white lighter' either. Brian grew up in a troubled enviornment and dysfunctional
home. He was expected to be 'The Man' of the house at a young age looking after
his sibling brothers Wayne his unidentical twin whom was 'Special' and his three
year younger brother Colin whom was born with a paralyzed left arm. Add onto this
a overbearing dominant mother that uses guilt trips, and he had to do laundry, dishes
and other things. to help the family struggle through until he was 21 and generally
be serious and withdrawn. technically the 'bitchboy' of the family. And it would be
somewhat understandable WHY he had issues.
 
Brian's brows knitted together into a frown as his lips thinned further
"I just don't get it? What the hell is so godamn important about me.
I ain't nothing special? Unless some motherfucker is taking great
amusement at laughing their ass off at me waytching my pain?
If that's the case I would of sliced their balls off and feed it to em
if they were male that is, as well as if I still had my wasacushi sword."

He muttered darkly to himself allowing himself a small bout of a pity party
if therre is one thing Brian couldn't stand it was being made the butt of a joke.
 
He had that done to him numerous times in highschool being dubbed 'Nerd'
and 'Easy Target' he had experienced the 'Royal Flush' more times than he
cared to recall as well as being beaten the fuck up and having rocks thrown
at him on his way home. As a child he was a SENSITIVE boy but hard
living and bullying knocked that out of him. He couldn't even CRY now
even if he wanted too his tearducts wern't working properlly if at all.
 
Sure he had a relitivelly EASIER life than Ranma maybe But he was
not as strong as Ranma was. He didn't HAVE too be. He wasn't Ranma
Saotome or anyone important He was Brian Chattillon! An average
plain mundane boring human being with a dubious hold on sanity
and a rather psychotic temper.
 
Brian had inccidents of psychosis or 'psycho' times when his anger
got out of control at least to his credit he had yet to KILL anyone yet....
Hense the rather morbid self pun to himself. He dubbed his 'Fighting' side
Darksoul for pobvious reason. He was a rabid bastard when he lets loose.
And his imagination was warped and twisted to say the least.
 
 
Had this been Star Wars? He would of made a pretty decent 'Sith' with all
the crap he had to put up with. Unforunatelly for him Brian was stuck in
a romantic comedy anime. An anime where the main protagonist was an
idiot that had foot in mouth deseise but the power to back it up so he
rarely got hurt physically.

Brian deathglared a beetle doing a rather passable Vegeta scowl
and Piccolo Daimoth impersonation albeit unintentionally.

"Well bitching about being here is getting me nowhere? Thank god I
don't have to put up with the same bullcrap Ranma does. Rumiko must
either hate men and boys inparticular. Having Tortured Ranma with the
curse was clue enough without the neko-ken crap and other bullshit
senarios. And people call me a sick fucking bastard back home!
Sheesh may have a somewhat perverse mind but pulling crap on an
innocent person is NOT my idea of shits and giggles in order to excorsize
any inadiquicies about myself within my psyche."
 
Brian vented to noone inparticular badmouthing creators of various anime that
seemed to bash hapless innocent main charaters that were nice simmilar to one
Shinji Ikari or Ranma Saotome even that meek kid in Burst Angel.

Brian shook his head in disgust
"And people call me perverted? Just because like watching Urotsukidoji? Or
La Blue Girl. I prefer La Blue Girl better at least the main hero didn't get screwed
out of happiness... Or love with a girl that wouldn't ABUSE him!"
 
Brian stated in a scathing speil as he ran his left hand through the stubble on
his noggin. Hre was relitivelly suprised and mildly disturbed as he noted he had
a 'visitor' one that he had differences with but was seeing for the FIRST time.
 
Happosai looked at the man before his miniscule form with a mixture of seriousness
and bemusement. The hentai grandmaster pantie thief took a draw of his pipe and
exhaled a tobacco stained breath as he looked at the man with his anceint eyes
both twinkling with mischoief and intruige.

"My my such a rant from one so young? It's allright tell uncle Happy all about it."
The miniscule gnome stated sympathetic as his gnarled wrinbkled hand patted the
man's leg paternally.
 
Brian didn't know whether to kill the old letch that caused Ranma so much greif for
his impertinence, or to throw up in disgust when he realised the powerfull
annoyance SYMPATHISED with him. Happosai noted the constipated
look on the redhead and shook his head.

"I maybe a pervert and a spiteful old letch? But what I am not is an
unfeeling bastard. I too know what it feels to be made small and worthless
to be made feel like slime and rubbish. had to live with it for a long time far
longer than you were a gleam in your mother's eyes. What's so shocking
that I would be anble to sympathise."
 
Happosai stated in wry amusement Here the old letch narrowed his eyes
as his expression became serious once more
"You got the attentions of Colonge's little hatchetwoman, not to smart young pup."
 
Brian's face paled slightlly
"Perfume? Here! Oh Shit that's something I hadn't counted upon. I don't want
that battleaxe weilding beauty stalking me and thinking I am a gimp like Ranma."

Brian stated in a bitter tone of discontent and trepidation. Brian knew about the
girl's weakness and although it was against his principals he was loathe to
harm the girl.

Happosai tilted his head in interest
"I've had my eye on you everr since you came here as well, you realise that the
otherworldly way you came into this reality was like a beacon to those attuned
to the higher planes of enlightenment do you not."
 
The gnomelike man stated crypticly. Brian stood away from the rock and glared at
the dirty gi wearng midget sduspicouslly.
"What's that supposed to mean gramps?"
Brian stated warily as his nagging doubts resurfaced as he recalled that the man
before him was slippery like satan himself.
 
Happosai tugged his moustache in lamenation
"Many things, meditate on that my interesting young freind, as for now? it's milla time!"
With that the irripressible old midget bounced away in search of more silky darlings to
'liberate' Brian blinked uncertainlly.

"Meditate? Sheesh what does he think I am? A Tibetian Bhudist Shaolin Monk."
Brian muttered to himself in disquiet and a slightly disturbed tone
 
The only other person that suggested mediytation to ballence himself was his Shihan
a man that Brian had great respect for and out of that respect he left the dojo when he
realised his dark psyche could bring shame and dishonour to the styling and to the
man he called in secret his freind.
----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------
Ranma was paying attention in class, somwhat for Ranma that is.
Ranma was sidetracked as he was musing over who gave Kuno-Baka
that broken nose. What unsettled him was the fact it was done so effortlessly?
 
He recognised the discription of Kuno's assailant as that of Brian
what caused Brian to bloody Kuno was a mystery to Ranma as was the
deaththreat he lobbed at his own father either.

Ranma HATED mysteries as it meant he had to use his brain outside of martial arts
all he ever got out of doing that was a serious headache. Thanks in part to his
bastard father Ranma was the DUMBEST person in his agegroup outside martial arts
 
Sure he knew the value of a buck. But who in their right mind would employ a
braindead jock like Ranma in the first place outside of a brothel or a bar where
he could work as a bouncer? No-One! To put it seriouslly you NEED a FULL
education with TOP marks to get a decent WELL paying job with room for
advancement. Unless you REALLY get a kick out of saying?
"Do ya want Fries with that?"
 
Or in Ranma's cursed aspect making her money by being a whore.
Lets face facts people? Martial Artists are a dime a dozen and on top
of that there's the 'code' of martial arts to 'help people' for no
monetary gain thing.
 
Ranma resumed banging his head against his desk amnd mentally yelling
*WHY ME! WHY DOES KAMI-SAMA HATE ME!*
 
The students that had desks near the aquatransexual moved ther desks
slightlly away from the now headbashing martial artist and began to wonder
what caused this unique change in the otherwise 'unflappable' Saotome.
 
"Why is everyone looking at me? I never wanted to have anything
to do with that gender changing freak!"
Akane stated in irritation because Ranma was being 'melodramatic' again.
----------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------
Colonge looked at Perfume thoughtfully
"This forigner DEFEATED Son in law?"
 
She quizzed with a grave tone. Perfume nodded wary.
"Quite easily, he also humiliated that stupid arrogant stick weilding bufoon."
 
Colonge scowled thoughtfully
"He could pose a problem, perhaps we should negitate this man? What is his
weak spots?"
Colonge demanded curtly toward the tracker.
 
Perfume shrugged unconcernedlly
"That I do not know? I assume he is like all men here, however I could
be mistaken he seemed rather angry at the violent mallet happy girl's
father and said and here I quote?"
 
"I would rather fuck either Xian-Pu or Ukyo than Nabiki! And Colonge
rather than Akane. Now get the fuck out of my way or will gouge your
eyeballs out with a shit encrusted rust ridden spoon! I hope never to
darken this shithole ever again. The ONLY Tendo would love to get into
bed with is Kasumi! But she deserves better than a psychotic bastard like me!"
 
"And that's what he said then punted the crying man to the far side of the room"
urfume related the last bit of conversation betwixt Soun Tendo and Brian Chattillon.
 
Colonge sweatdropped
"He thinks me better than Akane? What has he got. A granny fetish."
Colonge muttered to herself with a disturbed monotone.
================================================================= ===
Well it SEEMS like Brian is causing quite a stir in the chaos factor in nerima.
I assume that Brian was being sarcastic with that Colonge remark. *Shudders*
 
My it seems like Brian has quite a potty mouth on him as he basically told Soun
to go and get fucked(Australian Slang for fuck off).
 
Prickly bastard ain't he ladies and germs? Better yet?
Why the hell is Happosai interested in his wellfare of all people!