Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Against all odds ❯ Call me pappasai! ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Shadow Megatron
Training is grueling. Not only that Brian has to deal with Amazons Half Demons and a growing attachment to Ranma's cursed side? What's a poor
misunderstood Australian guy to do.

Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Martial Arts / Drama / Angst / Supernatural | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.25.2006 | Updated On: 09.10.2008 | Pages: 10 | Words: 7.8K | Visits: 642 | Status: Work In Progress

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Chapter 3 Call me pappasai!
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Happosai a 400 year old man. Grandmaster martial artist and pervert king in his own right
was troubled. Very troubled. He recognised the stench of demon oppression when he
looked at the aura of that poor suffering young man. It was POWERFULL energy that
shunted that poor sap into this dimention, and THAT in itself raised his hackles.

Whomever the demon was? They were SHITLOADS more powerful than Hild-Sama
herself that revelation caused the perverted gnome to reevaluate his prioroties somewhat.
 
He was a pervert GRANTED
He was guilty of lusting after women FALSE BY TRUE DEFINITION OF THE WORD
He was guilty of perverted paybacks GRANTED
 
There was one thing he could seriouslly say credited himself
HE DIDN'T GET HIS ROCKS OFF ENSLAVING OR ABUSING THE INNOCENT!!!
 
Happosai's mood darkened and that was an ominous sign.
"Hell God...Must be that's the only thing more powerfull than H-Sama. And it must be
an interdimentional one too...means only one bastard.....Trigon the terrible."
Happosai sighed in aggrivation and a shudder of revultion skittered up his spine
"Wonder how I can fix that raping bastard's little red wagon."
 
Happosai muttered to himself, unlike all the stupid masses of earth he and other
'enlightened' masters psychic intuned that is remembered and recalled 'The End'
Happosai for one did not want a repeat performance.
 
The diminutive gnome DID have a conseince albeit buried away to rust in his
subconseinse. and that nagging little pest was demanding happy train this Brian in
all things even the perverted stylings it so abhored.
That was what shocked the anceint pervert. his conseince was WILLING to allow
his perverse stylings on an innocent?
"Has my conseince got a screw loose?"
 
 
*Better you teraching him the difference and the right and wrong ways of getting
revenge ? Than Trigon a Hell god that raped his daughter's mother and in later years
his own halfbreed daughter? Don't you think! Better a perverted vigilantie than a
raping bastard meglomaniac sychophant of Trigon!*
 
His conseince shot back that oh so telling low blow
"Ok ok just quit bugging me allright!"
 
*And no shortcuts either! He's got to go the hard yard the whole maggilla*
*After all HIS dimention doesn't work like ours? THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS MAGIC IN HIS WORLD!!*
 
That telling cutting comment from the penut gallery shut Happosai up right and proper.

Happosai had fought against Trigon before but that was a long time ago on another plane
on a planet called Azarath. And it was certainlly NO picnic he BARELLY survived back
then when he was a spry 20 year old man. Happosai sighed in resignation
 
"Destiny and Fate are cruel fickle deities. Wouldn't suprise me if they were man hating
lesbian bitches. First Ranma then that Urashima kid, then that poor Morisato boy."

He shook his head wryly
"Then you got that poor Potter kid? Now this crap with that Brian fellow?
This is the straw that breaks the perverts back ladies? No more Mr NICE PERVERT!!!"
 
Happosai stated in a ominous deadly whisper as he bounded away and harrassed Brian
into becoming his student and forcing the now majorlly freaked out redhead into living
in one of his hideouts in Nerima of all places a WHORE HOUSE!
----------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------
Brian awoke the next day under complaint as his body ached all over
the spry old bastard worked him over beating holy hell out of him until he submitted
into allowing the old pervert to train him.

"Fuck me dead! What the fuck is your damage you old coot?"
Brian groused out to the unrepening little gnome seated beside him at the small table
as Brian so uneliquentlly posed the question meaning what the hell is Happosai's
problem.
 
Happosai snorted unrepentant
"That's, What the fuck's your damage SENSEI! to you young punk."
 
Here Happosai looked at Brian
"You respect me and my buisnuss and will likewise show you the same common curtosy."
Here Happosai sighed and looked at the man with a deadpan.

"The people I victimise are FAR from innocent doves, even a braindead moron can at
least see that, All I am doing is getyting payback and having a lot of relitively harmless
fun. So what if flitch female underwear whilst they are still wearing them and cop a feel?
At least am not using my superior knoledge fort true malice and raping them or worse
killing them for no good reason? I am at peace with myself for my error in judgement
concerning that deal with a demon to get my extra zing with my abilities. At least
haven't killed an innocent being? Ranma cannot say the same. He MURDERED
a Demi-God for no good reason simply because the demi-god didn't understand
the difference between good and bad. "

Happosai stated factually as he bopped Brian on the head with his pipe driving
home the point that no matter what the reason killing for stupid pride was a
BAD thing.

Brian shielded the crown of his head
"Ok Ok I get it Just quit it! Damn your a rabid little underpants gnome arn't you."
 
Happosai sighed and belted Brian a beaut upside the head
"Don't be an idiot boy! Never insult someone more powerfull than you unless
you have a deathwish! Now, Before this regamin of training begins?
There are a few ground rules to iorn out."

Here Happosai puffed up
"Rule one, You will address me as Pappa Happy."
"Rule Two, Matrial arts is for defense only, whether it be for another or yourself is
up to your descresion, Never is it for use to attack to make you feel like a big man."
"Rule Three, if you use slight of hand or other thievery skills to aid others? Dont
get caught."
"Rule Four, If your going to be a pervert, at least be HONEST about it."
 
Here Happosai looked at Brian seriouslly
"Those are simle easy to follow rules, I threw in Rule two to safegaurd my ideals.
Any idiot can throw a punch or use martial arts for their own self serving polocies
biut it takes a true master to keep on the straight and narrow."

Happosai stated in a disgusted tone as he flicked his pipe to the table where there was
a bowl of coco puffs and a glass of orange juice as well as a stack of toast and pancakes.

"Now eat up we have a long tiring day ahead of us, more so me as have to knock some
sense in the intricasy of my style into that thick pea brain skull of yours! At least your
no idiot like Ranma, although Ranma does have the inate ability to be an idiot savant.
What I am trying to accomplish here is simple enough. I am getting revenge againt my
former star pupil by training YOU to be his replacement."
 
The old letch stated in an amused tone as his eyes glittered with satisafaction knowing
Ranma's achiles heel would NEVER allow this slur to go on unacknoledged.
Yes Ranma was a great martoial artist, the best he had ever seen. However it would be
beneath him to actually train the boy. ranma allready was accompliushed in his own right
there was no need for further training anyway? He had a big enough ego no need to
swell his head further. Too many good martial artist potentials ended up either dead by
their own arrogance and swelled ego or became glorified bully boys assured of their
own 'heroics' in thinking that they were allways right.

No Happosai would NEVER train Ranma, simply because he thought Ranma didnt
have what it takes to truelly iunderstand the basic principles of all martial arts.
HUMILITY
 
Martial Arts was founded in humble origins even the perverted styles he taught
Her watched his new student as he ate and his eyes were twinkling with intruige.
*Maybe just maybe this is a good chance for the beginning of my steps toward
redeeming myself with my ancestors. I am aware of Ranma's thick headedness
and more than aware of his potential. It is byond Brian's scope of abilities at the
moment, but when I am through training Brian with the style I want him to learn?
Ranma will be very hard pressed to land a blow or defeat him. This man this
forigner shall teach Ranma the one true lesson that I never could. Maybe then
Ranma will have some common sense and stop being such an insufferable idiot.*
 
Here Happosai sighed forlornly as he looked out the window
*It pains me to see how much stupidity Ranma takes for the actual code?
The principals are merelly guidelines not fact! That stupid macho factor
as well. Girls are as strong as their masculine counterparts. Only a complete
dumbass would actiually contermplate that marytial arts was a men only club.
Everyone has the right to defend themselves men women hell even a little
pervert like me has got the same divine right for self protection, such a sorry
state the world is in these days*
 
----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
A few months later and after harsh gruelling training that made Muten Roshi
and Colonge combined seem like sweet mellow trainers and sensei's
----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------
Brian's physique was nowhere near Ranma's nor as powerfull
It didn't need to be. His muscle mass was defined and ripped
what there was of it that is. He was sinewy lank and lean speed
and finisse was the call of the day. Brian could slip away at a
moments notice and divest a lady of their undergarments without
their prior knolewdge.

As well as speed training the perverted little gnome had trained Brian in
endurance training as well as lockpicking and other invaluble skills.
Brian also learned about shiatsu pressurepoints and techhnology
 
He had to learn them as the grurelling little taskmaster whacked him upside
the head with a cane if he got it wrong. Happosai was never one for the
carrot and the stick methood. His philosophy if your going to do somthing
get it right the first time or do it again and again till you succeed or there
would be serious repocussions. He LITERALLY whipped Brian into shape.
There was no softness with his approach after all he had trained the boy for
serious warfare where death was quite a certainty.

Although months passed by Happosai in his own way 'Cheated' simmilar to
one Son Goku of Dragonball Z fame. He trained Brian in a reralm simmilar to
the hyperbolic time chamber. Getting permission to actually USE the realm
was astronomiclly hard for Happosai he had to be on his BEST behaviour
and not do anything perverted or evil in the 20 years of training besides
the usual 'pity grope' to keep the perverted Grandmaster technically
powerfull
 
The only fringe benifit was neither aged whilst training. If you could call that
a fringe benifit Happosai didn't think so. He was glad when the training
stopped.

At least now he could have some of his old fasioned fun now. He considered
that realm WORSE than the cave his erstwhile students sealed him up in.
----------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------
Happosai looked at Brian with a tired gaze
"Now do whatever it is you want to do. Just remember be honest to
yourself, and give bullies hell ok?"
Here Happosai shrugged
"Now get out of here and leave an old man to have some fun, sheesh kids..."
 
 
Brian left the home and muttered under his breath as he made his way slowlly to
the park
"Sadistic old fart, no reason to hit me over the head with a bloody baseballbat
covered in barbed wire. Who the fuck does he think he is Catus Jack(Mic Foley)"

Brian muttered irritibly, although gratefull to the little bastard for training him Brian
STILL hated the little bastards guts. He had every reason too! The spitefull little imp
used Brian as a sort of 'testing ground' for any and all weapons had Brian started
to slack off in the old coot's opinion. Ryouga couldn't hold a bar on him.
Brian was now on par with Pantyhose Taro on how to soak up damage.

Brian looked up at the sky as he sat at a park bench
"Of all the iornies in the world? Whoda thunk the old pervert had a conseince
or the ability to actually seriouslly train someone? Well at least I am free of the
old bastard now? He makes that Gremlin Stripe from Gremlins seem like a
fucking angel. Sadistic little bastard."
 
Brian bitched out in anger as he looked around and noted Ranma
"Great just what I need? What the fuck does he want now."
Brian muttered to himself spitefully
"Oi Saotome! What in Kami's name are you doing following me around?"
Brian stated bluntlly as he realised the chaos magnet of Nerima was indeed tailing him.
*I aught to kick myself for not being more alert, last thing I need is to get mixed up with him*
 
 
Rnma sdat beside the slender man and shrugged his shoulders
"Got a problem with that? I was just worried bout cha, I mean ya just up and dissapeared
a few months back. No note no call, thought that maybe ya got killed or something. Not
that I was worried bout that ya know."
 
Ranma stated defensive as he toyed with his pigtail inwardlly gritting his teeth
*What is this guy's problerm? I just wanna try and see if he will be my freind and
he comes off all 'what do you want' sheesh it's not like i'm like the old letch or pops.*
 
The aquatransexual thought to himself bitterly he had no idea the traumas that Brian
underwent as Brian likewise was in the dark about why Ranma wanted to talk to him.
"Nice day isn't it?"
Ranma stated the icebreaker warilly. Brian shot a suspicous glare at Ranma
 
*Nice day? NICE DAY! He's got some fucking nerve to waltz up to me and state that
lame topic opener, calm down Brian not like he knows what tortures you went through
to at least survive in this shithole of a reality, just nod and smile and maybe he'll leave
ya alone*
 
The jaded man thoiught to himself darkly outwardlly he kept a neutral facade going
"I suppose it is, considering where I am? So still having fun being Akane's gimp."
 
 
Brian stasted casually inwardlly slapping himself later mentally for that cheap shot
training under Happosai had erroded most of the neutrality from him and he had
developed quite a bit of resentment towards the main cast of this reality because
of Happosai's needling and torture he deemed training.

"Sorry Ranma, that crack was uncalled for."
Brian muttered the appology sincerelly although it was dragged out of him by
his conseince telling him that Ranma was not at fault for what happened to him.
 
Ranma flinched at the jab, but looked nonplussed as the redhead appologised a
few minutes afterwards. He arched a brow and tilted his head as he noted the
constipated confglicted expression upon the redheads face.

"Hey you allright? ya look like ya just had a mouthfull of Akane's cooking?"
Ranma stated in a slightlly confusded tone.

Brian glared daggers at the clueless martial artist whom inadvertantlly hit the
nail on the head as THAT was part of Happosai's tortures as well when Brian
screwed up.

Brian looked coldly at the cursed martial artist
"Nah ya think?"
Brian stated in a dry sarcastic tone that screamed what do you think you
goddamn idiot look like this for shits and giggles?
"Word to the wise Never mention Akane and cooking to me EVER again,
got it? I had enough of that bitch to last me a lifetime especially what
she calls food."
 
Brian hissed out angrilly. Ranma winced inwardlly as he hurridlly assured
the angry man of his good intentions.
"Hey man like i'm sorry bout that ok. No need to rip my head off allright?
Sheesh all I wanted was a little freindly chat."
 
Ranma stated in a slightlly depressed tone. Brian inwardlly bashed his head
against a brick wall in aggrivation and self conseinceness.
"Whatever, like you would want a bar of me, sides you got your little
playmates to piss off ain't ya?"
 
Brian stated factually well as far as he knew. Ranma looked at Brian oddly
 
"Rather have Happosai glomp me in girl form, than try and have a honest talk
with that lot. They never listen to anything I say all they care about is what
they want and or what's in it for them? With freinds and family like that who
needs enemies? Certainlly not me that's for sure. I wanted to talk too ya cuz I
thought you'd be different but I see i'm wasting my time..."
 
Ranma stated reluctantlly as he made to get up and go on his way head down
and despondant.

Brian mentally kicked himself in the nuts
*Why does this shit haver to happen to me god WHY!*
"Ranma....Wait, sit your japanese ass back down. I'm a little testy cuz I have had
a shitty couple of months that would make Neko-Ken look like a blessing in
disguise."
 
Brian stated factually
*More like twenty years but chaos boy doesn't need to know that*
Brian thought bitterly as he didn't want to be pitied by this boy/girl for what
happened his pride what was left of it wouldn't be able to stomache it or
from anybody.
 
Ranma sat back down as he sensed the desperation simmilar to his own in that tone
"So whacha going to do now? Um it's not like you got anyplace to live as I aint
seen ya round, and that in itself is bugging the hell outta me something feirce
not only that but Shampoo and the old ghoul been serarching for ya too."
 
Ranma stated blaze like
"Least according to what duck boy said, something bout perfume or something."
Ranma finished lamely and looked at Brian seriouslly.

"It's kinda my fault me bringing ya back to the tendo's and the beating me in
girl form thing? Shampoo is going nuts trying ta find ya to reclaim her 'aireen'
from the 'demon man' so to speak."
 
Ranma stated sheepishly. Brian sweatdropped and arched a brow.
"What was that? She called me 'Demon Man' Sheesh what does she do
take cues from Tatewaki?"
 
Brian stated in astonishment at how stupid this situation was becoming.

Ranma sweatdropped nervouslly
"Nah there is this girl in town that claims your her man, and kinda let it slip
that she is a half demon. That and the fact that only she is able to 'satisfy'
your desires."
 
Ranma stated in an embarassed yet clear tone. Brian looked at Ranma with
a clearly disbelieving look.
"Your shitting me right? A half demon girl is running around Nerima
claiming that she is my booty call? And your doing nothing about it.
I don't know anyone that fits the discription you just stated. Only a
sucicidal idiot fucks a demon without prior knowledge. I like my soul
just the way it is? Where it belongs IN my body"
 
Brian stated bluntlly
"I am not stupid or braindead enough to let any girl claim dominion
over me or any woman. I dislike being ordered around like a fucking slave."
 
Brian stated in a dark undertone filled with resentment. Ranma arched a
brow in suprise never in his wildest dreams could he fantom someone
knowing or at least on some small scale identifying with him on a small
obscure level.
 
Ranma scratched the nape of his neck thoughtfully as he eyed Brian in
curiosity
"Uh yeah, I guess? Still whatcha gunna do though? I don't think your
the type that hits girls? Are ya?"
 
Ranma asked slightlly uncomfortable. Brian rolled his eyes in exasperation.
"No I don't particularilly like doing it. But there IS a difference you know
between girl women and bitches whom think there better than others. So
what if a guy or girl gets their pride hurt. If they are subjigating others for
their own benifit to lord it over on the person? then it's expected that
somewhere along the line someone is going to come along and knock them
down a peg or two? Its the nature of the beast Ying/Yang and all that philosofy
crap."
 
Brian stated in a bland tone as he shrugged
"A person can only be true to their own nature and all that jazz."
Brian stated simply and arched a brow.

"Your father is a classic example, Once a lying theiving asshole? Mostly
allways a lying theving asshole."
 
Brian looked at Ranma seriouslly
"So that redhead chick? I hope she's allright, she looked kinda cute. Not my
fault I landed on her and stuff. Byond my ability to stop from happening
you understand? Still kinda owe her an appology though. Feh not like
she'd waste her time with a guy like me anyhow."
 
Brian stated to Ranma knowing FULL well that it WAS Ranma
Brian was merelly seeing how the aquatransexual would play this
particular scenario.
 
Ranma felt a flicker of sensation skittering up his spine
*He thinks my cursed side is CUTE that brings a shiver along his spine
a rare good one that seldom was felt. That in itself was caused by another
guy made Ranma slightlly uncomfortable. Ranma wasn't gay he liked girls
he just had problems expressing himself thanks mostly to the fat tub of
lard that was his father.
 
Ranma had a uncomfortable on the spoty expresion on his face
"Yeah well...ya never know ya may run into her somewhere."
Ranma stated uncomfortably.

He looked at Brian
"Well I gotta go, gotta keep on my toes ya know?"
With that the aquatransexual went on his way a nagging
doubt within his mind.
*Is it me? Or does he have a crush on my girl side? Naw impossible.*
 
Ranma thought to himself not allowing the telling obscure conffession any
creedence Brian simmilar to Ranma had issues about same sex romances as
well but he was more open minded. Still he admited to himself it made him
uncomfortable indeed. It was one thing to say you wern't fased by it
but entirelly another to actually be in a relationship with the same gender.
Brian knew one thing if he was in a relationship with a guy in THAT way
one of these days he would have to buck up and take it in the ass.
That was a situation he wasn't entirtelly fully prepared for yet mentally.
 
 
So there he wasd seated on a park bench wondering about possibilities
that were far flung and dubious at best as he rubbed his jaw in speculation.
"Life is a complex tapestry of complications and scenarios. God I need a smoke!"
 
Brian stated in a exasperated tone as he fished out his cigs from a subspace pocket
and lit up. He was just taking his first drag of his first ciggarette of the day when a
sultry chinese inflected tone purred out at him.
"Nihao, demon man? You seen Aireen yes."
 
 
Brian looked at the girl whom spoke in that bedroom tone and swallowed hard
"Xian-Pu, you grant me the honour of your presence child. Yeah talked with
Ranma but no he is NOT your Aireen, you try and kill his girl side and yet lust
after his male side. That is not honourable and quite condridictory. What do
you want with me Amazon. The truth mind you none of your silly little games."
 
Brian stated at length bitter and jaded as he eyed the amazon with suispicion and
distrust. Brian was no fool he knew how this girl treated Mhu Tsu. Granted
Mouuse was no favorite of his but still Mouuse was a guy and one that didn't
deserve the scorn or treatment he received at the hands of this fickle female or
Colonge. He would keep his guard up around this chinese girl and other girls in
this reality as he didn't trust em as far as he could spit.
 
Shampoo narrowed her eyes in irritation at the cold greeting she received
but bided her time as this man was powerful he HAD to be to defeat her
Aireen in cursed form a feat she had YET to accomplish.
==============================================================
When it rains it pours. Not only does Brian have trouble on the amazon front?
Now he has Raven somewhere in Nerima making subtle inuendos about him.