Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Utter Chaos ❯ Dreams of Reality ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Namimakura 
Something's happening and it's impossible to tell what's real and what's imaginary.
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Horror / Romance / Suspense / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.20.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 274 | Status: Work In Progress
Something's happening and it's impossible to tell what's real and what's imaginary.
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Horror / Romance / Suspense / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.20.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 274 | Status: Work In Progress
“What?,” Momo asked, breathing raggedly.
“I thought I was very clear Momo. We can’t be friends. In fact, I refuse to do so any longer.”
A couple of hours ago Momo’s life had been idyllic, perfect. She had the most amazing, most wonderful, most caring boyfriend in the world. She had the most overprotective, adorable best friend a girl could ask for. She had thought he’d been acting a bit strange for the past few days, but had shrugged it off as nothing. Clearly, it was not nothing, because he didn’t even want to speak to her anymore! Her best friend…..
She started to cry. “But why? Why, Toushirou? I don’t understand….,” she broke off staring at him in confusion.
“Momo, Momo, don’t you know?” He smiled at her, a smile she’d never seen before. It wasn’t quite malicious and yet it was. It was bitter, happy, and vaguely evil all at the same time. Since when did her Toushirou smile like that? “It’s because I don’t share.”
“What?” That answer was even more confusing than him no longer speaking to her! “Don’t share what?”
He sighed in exasperation. “I don’t share you, Momo. You can’t play both sides this way. I don’t do this fractional, almost friendship. You’ve chosen your boyfriend. All right, fine. But don’t expect me to stay there, yipping at your ankles for extra attention and affection. The fact that you don’t understand only proves I’m right.”
“Toushirou, I have a boyfriend! I still spend time with you, but of course I’m going to spend more with him now! Try to be fair….. I don’t want to lose our friendship, Shiro-chan. We’ve been friends forever.”
“And now it’s over.” His voice hardened. “Aizen’s waiting for you.”
Her eyes flashed in irritation. “Why can’t you at least treat him with respect? His name is Sousuke, you know.”
“I’m not your friend. You have no right to tell me how to treat others. Suck it up.” He flicked a barely acknowledging glance in her direction before turning away.
“Toushirou, wait! Toushirou!” He didn’t turn around. She turned and ran into Sousuke’s waiting arms, sobbing. “What’s wrong with him Sousuke? I don’t understand…,” she cried.
“Shhhh, it’s all right, I’m here,” he whispered in a gentle voice. He rubbed her back in soothing circles, waiting for her breathing to calm into more even breaths. “Everything will be ok, I’ll take care of you. I’m here for you.”
The two stood there for some time, waiting through the storm of emotions. It hurt worse than a stabbing, this losing of her oldest and best friend. Once she calmed down, both of them got into his shiny black Camero. “Why’s Toushirou being such a jerk anyway?,” she asked idly, annoyed and still very much hurt.
“Ah, I think he just missed the way things were. Wanted to go back to how it used to be, with just the two of you, you know? Resistant to change….”
“I don’t know, it always seemed like he didn’t like you very much. Which didn’t make any sense,” she added crossly as an afterthought.
“Ah, well, I think he was jealous.” He smiled apologetically. “I’ve been taking up too much of your time. Sorry.”
“Ano, you don’t have to apologize, Sousuke. It’s his fault and I like spending time with you. If anything, it’s my fault for not noticing.” She sighed disappointedly. “Why can’t we still be friends?,” she dejectedly asked the open air before her.
************************************************************* *******************
There was chaos everywhere. Unohana was shouting, shouting at everyone trying to regain control of the situation. Squad members rushed in every direction, trying to follow her orders before the next set of convulsions began. Then, the very worst news, in terms of timing, was yelled into the growing din.
“Unohana-taichou! Hinamori fuku-taichou has woken up! She’s asking for either Aizen or Hitsugaya-taichou!”
Unohana ground her teeth together in irritation. There was no way everything could happen at once. “I don’t have the time to spare for her now! Tell her that I’ll get to her as soon as possible but ask that she be patient. If she refuses, go tell another captain, because I’m too busy to deal with it!”
The shinigami saluted and raced off towards the direction of the shrieking.
Unexpectedly, blood sprayed from the figure on the bed, spattering onto many of the nearby division members. Wrenching, anguished screams filled the room, deafening Unohana. She grimaced as his body arched in yards off the surface of the bed. “Somebody hold him down!,” she shouted, rushing forward. “Get me more healers to cover these fresh wounds! And where’s Isane?! I need her stat to help keep the initial wound stable! MOVE!” The shinigami scrambled, panicked at the thought that they might lose yet another captain.
On the bed, Hitsugaya let loose with fresh screams of tormented dreams.
********************************************************** **********************
Hitsugaya glanced around him carefully. Good. No one was following him. He thought that maybe Hinamori might try to after the scene today, but apparently not. Apparently, Aizen was more than enough to satisfy her tears. But then again, he already knew that, didn’t he? As bitter as the thought was, it could only be a good thing. He sighed to himself. There was just no way he could manage it all. None. He couldn’t protect her like this.
Why, oh why couldn’t she see the truth about Aizen? Couldn’t she tell what he was?
He could. He had known from the beginning. From the first time he had seen the man, he had known oh so well what he was. Aizen was the tallest order of scum. But he had also known that Hinamori would never believe him without proof and he had none. Still, he had no time to save her now. Not when he could barely save himself.
At first, it had been the issues with Matsumoto. She had needed his constant time and attention and he’d been willing to oblige-temporarily. Now that she had her feet on the ground, and he had personal problems to deal with! Hinamori would have to wait.
He looked carefully up and down the street. No car in sight. Good. No one was home yet. He slipped in through the back door in utter silence. No point in taking chances.
A sudden crash resounded in the house. He froze. The car was in the shop.
He was screwed.
********************************************************* ***********************
Momo went to school the next day exhausted by the previous days events. She’d been on the verge of tears all night, often crying into Sousuke’s shoulder. Luckily, her mom had been understanding and let him stay much later than usual to help her cope. She had no idea how she was going to cope through classes without talking to her best friend. She had considered skipping school, but that was the coward’s way out. And Momo Hinamori never, ever acted that weak. So she plucked up her courage and went anyway, even knowing how much it would suck. After all, they had all their classes together. And Sousuke wasn’t in their class, so she wouldn’t see him at all except for lunch and after school. She twitched at the thought.
She walked into the classroom, not daring to steal a look at Toushirou, knowing she would cry if she did. Instead, she went straight over to sit with Rukia, Orihime and Rangiku. Rukia looked up at her, surprised.
“Hi everybody,” Hinamori inserted quickly, hoping to forestall the obvious questions.
“Not that we’re not happy to see you, but why aren’t you talking to Toushirou?,” Rukia queried in confusion.
“Oh, no reason in particular,” she answered in an attempt at a casual response at which she failed miserably. What surprised her was the odd look Rangiku was giving her.
“What’s wrong?,” Orihime asked in sudden concern. “Hinamori-san?”
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong,” Rangiku started viciously. “Hinamori spends all her time with her precious boyfriend. Just because you meet some guy doesn’t mean you dump your friends. Especially your best friends.” She stood up haughtily and went over to sit with Toushiro.
Momo was shocked. She had always thought Rangiku was so nice! Why would she all of a sudden treat her this way! It had nothing to do with her! Unconscious tears pricked the corners of her eyes unbidden. She just couldn’t stop staring at Toushiro talking to Rangiku. Why wouldn’t he talk to her? Why did he have to be so demanding? Friendship shouldn’t be so conditional. Furiously, she wiped the tears away. Don’t cry wear they can see…
“What was that about?,” Rukia said rudely in Rangiku’s direction. “What’s her problem? Don’t worry, we’re here for you Hinamori-san.”
“Yes, we’re here for you,” Orihime interjected intently.
Momo looked back to her other two friends, fresh tears starting at their loyalty. “Thank you so much, Kuchiki-san, Inoue-san.”
“What happened anyway?,” Rukia asked her curiously.
Momo sniffled. “I don’t know exactly. Only Toushiro told me yesterday that we couldn’t be friends anymore. I didn’t understand why.” She struggled desperately not to cry again. “I just don’t get it! Why can’t I be friends with him and still have a boyfriend? He doesn’t make any sense.”
Rukia leaned forward conspiratorially. “I bet I know, Hinamori-san. He’s jealous of the time you spend with Aizen-kun. Maybe he likes you?”
“No, no, that can’t be it.” She waved off that answer easily. “If that were the case, he would have tried something long before I met Sousuke. No, we’ve always just been really close friends.”
“Maybe he just didn’t realize how he felt until now?,” suggested Orihime.
Momo had started shaking her head before Orihime had finished speaking. “I don’t know. I just don’t see it happening. Not to Toushiro anyway.” She smiled at the idea of him liking anybody. It was the kind of thing that just didn’t suit his personality. At that moment, the teacher came into the classroom and the three of them turned forward to take notes.
All the same, Momo couldn’t help but feel that something very strange was going on. An odd chill swept down her spine as she glanced at her former best friend. What was happening to him?
*************************************************************************** *****
Hitsugaya had made certain to select long-sleeved garments before leaving his room that morning. There was no way anyone was seeing the evidence. He would show no one. He couldn’t let them find out. Even if they did, they wouldn’t know what it meant. He tried to comfort himself with that knowledge.
He arrived at his destination in record time, sliding easily into his waiting seat. He speculated briefly on what Hinamori’s reaction towards him would be, before pushing her out of his mind. He couldn’t afford to take the time to think of her now. Speak of the devil. She strolled easily into the room, determinedly not looking in his direction at all. Fool. That was the most obvious sign of all that she was affected by him. A couple of minutes later, Matsumoto joined him. Unusual.
It didn’t matter though. Nothing mattered now. Nothing but surviving, a difficult enough task given his precarious situation. He shook it off. Best not to think about it, especially with others here. He couldn’t afford to get distracted. Not at all. He sighed. Why did he even bother trying to endure such a trivial atmosphere? For no clear reason apparently. Perhaps he was a masochist at heart. And a whole day ahead to suffer. Joy.
He looked over to glance at Hinamori. Still a leaky faucet. He sighed again. He hated making her cry. But the alternatives were far, far worse. He shuddered. Never, ever would allow such a thing to happen. He turned to face forward, deciding to ignore her. For now.
************************************************************* *******************
The darkness pressed in around him. It suffocated him, stifled him, terrified him. And yet, despite his fear, the dark was his greatest ally. It was his comfort, his constant through the uncertainty. He knew what it was like to see, but he knew now what it was like not to see. She no longer held the advantage here.
Sure, she was bigger, stronger, smarter, more experienced. But for him this darkness was a second home. He didn’t need to see to understand it and she did. And that was enough. Still, it didn’t stop the pain.
The pain was also his suffocating companion, always hurting, always aching. It ate him, biting, sawing until he cried out, until he begged for a mercy that never came. It slithered in and around, knotting his muscles and contorting his limbs.
He had scars everywhere. They covered his chest, his legs, his shoulders. They were from the knives, the needles the swords. Oh yes, he knew his weapons. Intimately. He knew exactly how a hook could penetrate his insides, grasping his intestines and twisting until proper digestion was no longer possible. He knew the pain of burning fire, licking at his chest. He knew the way the flames slowly devoured the fringes of skin, eating its way outward and into the bloodstream. He knew the white-hot intensity of hatred, deep under his skin that echoed and reverberated through the air around him.
He felt for the deep bruise on his cheek, taking comfort in the familiar pain. Good. He had not yet ceased to exist. Still alive. He had to stay alive.
Because if he didn’t stay alive, he’d never have the chance to kill her. At that thought, his eyes could be seen glowing burnished gold in the pitch black.
He could hear the sound of the door creaking. This time, he would kill her.
“I thought I was very clear Momo. We can’t be friends. In fact, I refuse to do so any longer.”
A couple of hours ago Momo’s life had been idyllic, perfect. She had the most amazing, most wonderful, most caring boyfriend in the world. She had the most overprotective, adorable best friend a girl could ask for. She had thought he’d been acting a bit strange for the past few days, but had shrugged it off as nothing. Clearly, it was not nothing, because he didn’t even want to speak to her anymore! Her best friend…..
She started to cry. “But why? Why, Toushirou? I don’t understand….,” she broke off staring at him in confusion.
“Momo, Momo, don’t you know?” He smiled at her, a smile she’d never seen before. It wasn’t quite malicious and yet it was. It was bitter, happy, and vaguely evil all at the same time. Since when did her Toushirou smile like that? “It’s because I don’t share.”
“What?” That answer was even more confusing than him no longer speaking to her! “Don’t share what?”
He sighed in exasperation. “I don’t share you, Momo. You can’t play both sides this way. I don’t do this fractional, almost friendship. You’ve chosen your boyfriend. All right, fine. But don’t expect me to stay there, yipping at your ankles for extra attention and affection. The fact that you don’t understand only proves I’m right.”
“Toushirou, I have a boyfriend! I still spend time with you, but of course I’m going to spend more with him now! Try to be fair….. I don’t want to lose our friendship, Shiro-chan. We’ve been friends forever.”
“And now it’s over.” His voice hardened. “Aizen’s waiting for you.”
Her eyes flashed in irritation. “Why can’t you at least treat him with respect? His name is Sousuke, you know.”
“I’m not your friend. You have no right to tell me how to treat others. Suck it up.” He flicked a barely acknowledging glance in her direction before turning away.
“Toushirou, wait! Toushirou!” He didn’t turn around. She turned and ran into Sousuke’s waiting arms, sobbing. “What’s wrong with him Sousuke? I don’t understand…,” she cried.
“Shhhh, it’s all right, I’m here,” he whispered in a gentle voice. He rubbed her back in soothing circles, waiting for her breathing to calm into more even breaths. “Everything will be ok, I’ll take care of you. I’m here for you.”
The two stood there for some time, waiting through the storm of emotions. It hurt worse than a stabbing, this losing of her oldest and best friend. Once she calmed down, both of them got into his shiny black Camero. “Why’s Toushirou being such a jerk anyway?,” she asked idly, annoyed and still very much hurt.
“Ah, I think he just missed the way things were. Wanted to go back to how it used to be, with just the two of you, you know? Resistant to change….”
“I don’t know, it always seemed like he didn’t like you very much. Which didn’t make any sense,” she added crossly as an afterthought.
“Ah, well, I think he was jealous.” He smiled apologetically. “I’ve been taking up too much of your time. Sorry.”
“Ano, you don’t have to apologize, Sousuke. It’s his fault and I like spending time with you. If anything, it’s my fault for not noticing.” She sighed disappointedly. “Why can’t we still be friends?,” she dejectedly asked the open air before her.
************************************************************* *******************
There was chaos everywhere. Unohana was shouting, shouting at everyone trying to regain control of the situation. Squad members rushed in every direction, trying to follow her orders before the next set of convulsions began. Then, the very worst news, in terms of timing, was yelled into the growing din.
“Unohana-taichou! Hinamori fuku-taichou has woken up! She’s asking for either Aizen or Hitsugaya-taichou!”
Unohana ground her teeth together in irritation. There was no way everything could happen at once. “I don’t have the time to spare for her now! Tell her that I’ll get to her as soon as possible but ask that she be patient. If she refuses, go tell another captain, because I’m too busy to deal with it!”
The shinigami saluted and raced off towards the direction of the shrieking.
Unexpectedly, blood sprayed from the figure on the bed, spattering onto many of the nearby division members. Wrenching, anguished screams filled the room, deafening Unohana. She grimaced as his body arched in yards off the surface of the bed. “Somebody hold him down!,” she shouted, rushing forward. “Get me more healers to cover these fresh wounds! And where’s Isane?! I need her stat to help keep the initial wound stable! MOVE!” The shinigami scrambled, panicked at the thought that they might lose yet another captain.
On the bed, Hitsugaya let loose with fresh screams of tormented dreams.
********************************************************** **********************
Hitsugaya glanced around him carefully. Good. No one was following him. He thought that maybe Hinamori might try to after the scene today, but apparently not. Apparently, Aizen was more than enough to satisfy her tears. But then again, he already knew that, didn’t he? As bitter as the thought was, it could only be a good thing. He sighed to himself. There was just no way he could manage it all. None. He couldn’t protect her like this.
Why, oh why couldn’t she see the truth about Aizen? Couldn’t she tell what he was?
He could. He had known from the beginning. From the first time he had seen the man, he had known oh so well what he was. Aizen was the tallest order of scum. But he had also known that Hinamori would never believe him without proof and he had none. Still, he had no time to save her now. Not when he could barely save himself.
At first, it had been the issues with Matsumoto. She had needed his constant time and attention and he’d been willing to oblige-temporarily. Now that she had her feet on the ground, and he had personal problems to deal with! Hinamori would have to wait.
He looked carefully up and down the street. No car in sight. Good. No one was home yet. He slipped in through the back door in utter silence. No point in taking chances.
A sudden crash resounded in the house. He froze. The car was in the shop.
He was screwed.
********************************************************* ***********************
Momo went to school the next day exhausted by the previous days events. She’d been on the verge of tears all night, often crying into Sousuke’s shoulder. Luckily, her mom had been understanding and let him stay much later than usual to help her cope. She had no idea how she was going to cope through classes without talking to her best friend. She had considered skipping school, but that was the coward’s way out. And Momo Hinamori never, ever acted that weak. So she plucked up her courage and went anyway, even knowing how much it would suck. After all, they had all their classes together. And Sousuke wasn’t in their class, so she wouldn’t see him at all except for lunch and after school. She twitched at the thought.
She walked into the classroom, not daring to steal a look at Toushirou, knowing she would cry if she did. Instead, she went straight over to sit with Rukia, Orihime and Rangiku. Rukia looked up at her, surprised.
“Hi everybody,” Hinamori inserted quickly, hoping to forestall the obvious questions.
“Not that we’re not happy to see you, but why aren’t you talking to Toushirou?,” Rukia queried in confusion.
“Oh, no reason in particular,” she answered in an attempt at a casual response at which she failed miserably. What surprised her was the odd look Rangiku was giving her.
“What’s wrong?,” Orihime asked in sudden concern. “Hinamori-san?”
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong,” Rangiku started viciously. “Hinamori spends all her time with her precious boyfriend. Just because you meet some guy doesn’t mean you dump your friends. Especially your best friends.” She stood up haughtily and went over to sit with Toushiro.
Momo was shocked. She had always thought Rangiku was so nice! Why would she all of a sudden treat her this way! It had nothing to do with her! Unconscious tears pricked the corners of her eyes unbidden. She just couldn’t stop staring at Toushiro talking to Rangiku. Why wouldn’t he talk to her? Why did he have to be so demanding? Friendship shouldn’t be so conditional. Furiously, she wiped the tears away. Don’t cry wear they can see…
“What was that about?,” Rukia said rudely in Rangiku’s direction. “What’s her problem? Don’t worry, we’re here for you Hinamori-san.”
“Yes, we’re here for you,” Orihime interjected intently.
Momo looked back to her other two friends, fresh tears starting at their loyalty. “Thank you so much, Kuchiki-san, Inoue-san.”
“What happened anyway?,” Rukia asked her curiously.
Momo sniffled. “I don’t know exactly. Only Toushiro told me yesterday that we couldn’t be friends anymore. I didn’t understand why.” She struggled desperately not to cry again. “I just don’t get it! Why can’t I be friends with him and still have a boyfriend? He doesn’t make any sense.”
Rukia leaned forward conspiratorially. “I bet I know, Hinamori-san. He’s jealous of the time you spend with Aizen-kun. Maybe he likes you?”
“No, no, that can’t be it.” She waved off that answer easily. “If that were the case, he would have tried something long before I met Sousuke. No, we’ve always just been really close friends.”
“Maybe he just didn’t realize how he felt until now?,” suggested Orihime.
Momo had started shaking her head before Orihime had finished speaking. “I don’t know. I just don’t see it happening. Not to Toushiro anyway.” She smiled at the idea of him liking anybody. It was the kind of thing that just didn’t suit his personality. At that moment, the teacher came into the classroom and the three of them turned forward to take notes.
All the same, Momo couldn’t help but feel that something very strange was going on. An odd chill swept down her spine as she glanced at her former best friend. What was happening to him?
*************************************************************************** *****
Hitsugaya had made certain to select long-sleeved garments before leaving his room that morning. There was no way anyone was seeing the evidence. He would show no one. He couldn’t let them find out. Even if they did, they wouldn’t know what it meant. He tried to comfort himself with that knowledge.
He arrived at his destination in record time, sliding easily into his waiting seat. He speculated briefly on what Hinamori’s reaction towards him would be, before pushing her out of his mind. He couldn’t afford to take the time to think of her now. Speak of the devil. She strolled easily into the room, determinedly not looking in his direction at all. Fool. That was the most obvious sign of all that she was affected by him. A couple of minutes later, Matsumoto joined him. Unusual.
It didn’t matter though. Nothing mattered now. Nothing but surviving, a difficult enough task given his precarious situation. He shook it off. Best not to think about it, especially with others here. He couldn’t afford to get distracted. Not at all. He sighed. Why did he even bother trying to endure such a trivial atmosphere? For no clear reason apparently. Perhaps he was a masochist at heart. And a whole day ahead to suffer. Joy.
He looked over to glance at Hinamori. Still a leaky faucet. He sighed again. He hated making her cry. But the alternatives were far, far worse. He shuddered. Never, ever would allow such a thing to happen. He turned to face forward, deciding to ignore her. For now.
************************************************************* *******************
The darkness pressed in around him. It suffocated him, stifled him, terrified him. And yet, despite his fear, the dark was his greatest ally. It was his comfort, his constant through the uncertainty. He knew what it was like to see, but he knew now what it was like not to see. She no longer held the advantage here.
Sure, she was bigger, stronger, smarter, more experienced. But for him this darkness was a second home. He didn’t need to see to understand it and she did. And that was enough. Still, it didn’t stop the pain.
The pain was also his suffocating companion, always hurting, always aching. It ate him, biting, sawing until he cried out, until he begged for a mercy that never came. It slithered in and around, knotting his muscles and contorting his limbs.
He had scars everywhere. They covered his chest, his legs, his shoulders. They were from the knives, the needles the swords. Oh yes, he knew his weapons. Intimately. He knew exactly how a hook could penetrate his insides, grasping his intestines and twisting until proper digestion was no longer possible. He knew the pain of burning fire, licking at his chest. He knew the way the flames slowly devoured the fringes of skin, eating its way outward and into the bloodstream. He knew the white-hot intensity of hatred, deep under his skin that echoed and reverberated through the air around him.
He felt for the deep bruise on his cheek, taking comfort in the familiar pain. Good. He had not yet ceased to exist. Still alive. He had to stay alive.
Because if he didn’t stay alive, he’d never have the chance to kill her. At that thought, his eyes could be seen glowing burnished gold in the pitch black.
He could hear the sound of the door creaking. This time, he would kill her.