Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Utter Chaos ❯ Or Lies in the Truth? ( Chapter 4 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Namimakura 
Desperate, Unohana decides to try something new to save Hitsugaya. But will it help or only create more problems?
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Horror / Romance / Suspense / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.20.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 175 | Status: Work In Progress
Desperate, Unohana decides to try something new to save Hitsugaya. But will it help or only create more problems?
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Horror / Romance / Suspense / Angst | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 07.20.2008 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.1K | Visits: 175 | Status: Work In Progress
was inconsolable for the rest of the day. It couldn’t be! No, it definitely couldn’t. Not her Toushirou. He wasn’t! He couldn’t! She moaned to herself, desperate to deny what must be reality. No! No!
She simply could not accept Toushirou wanting to die. It wasn’t fair! He was such a wonderful person with so many gifts and good qualities. Why would he want to hurt himself that way? It just didn’t make any sense to her.
Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she had been neglecting him. What if it was? Fresh tears started in her eyes. Her fault that her best friend was cutting himself, was hurting himself, had been hurting himself. Had she really been choosing Sousuke over Toushirou that much? What if she had? What should she do?
It seemed as if everything she’d known about the world was suddenly turned upside down with this new knowledge. Everything she’d believed was a lie. Maybe she really didn’t understand Toushirou the way she thought she had.
Sousuke tried calling her multiple times. He even knocked on the door, called through the window. Momo refused to let him in and talk to him. He couldn’t help her now. Especially not if it was her fault for spending so much time with him in the first place. No, she had to be strong by herself for this. She couldn’t just cower here, she had to figure out how to help him.
Yes, that was right. What did she think she was doing sitting her, pitying herself? Toushirou was the one who needed her help! So what could she do?
She absentmindedly twirled a wisp of hair between her fingers and chewed on her bottom lip as she considered her options. Well, she could try an outright confrontation with him. Uncover what his issues through and get him to find help….. But she didn’t have high hopes for that considering how distant he was acting towards her.
She could try tricking him. Being sneaky and cunning to try and figure it out. But if she did, she’d have to be careful, since she’d already tipped him off that she was willing and clever enough to try. And if it didn’t work, she’d need a Plan B.
She didn’t think going for help would work, mostly because Toushirou was something of a genius at fooling people. No one would believe her, really. And besides, even if they did, he could fake having changed or something.
First, she ought to go on recon. She needed to know the problem thoroughly before she attempted to apply a solution. She would try following him around for a while, to see what happened. Perhaps that would give her a clue as what he was up to and why exactly he was cutting himself.
Momo stood up determinedly, feeling much better now that she had a plan.
************************************************************ ********************
Hitsugaya was terrified.
He was panicked.
He was bloody terrified and that was a bonafide fact.
She had found out. She had seen. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak, and he had no way of covering his mistake. It didn’t matter now how cold he acted, how cruel he became.
He knew Momo the best and so he knew what she would do. She was on the hunt. Now she knew he was in trouble and she would dig in her heels and not let go, ever, until she knew why and had tried to “help” him.
All his hard work had been for naught. Everything he’d done. He knew he wasn’t breathing properly, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care.
He had made it as far as the back lot of the school before sliding down against the wall, black curling around the edges of his vision as his breathing had stepped up quite rapidly.
Somehow, somehow, he had to throw her off the scent. He needed to get her off track! He tried to breathe slower, to calm down so he could think rationally. He could do this. He could do this because he had to do this.
All he had to do was lie. A simple, easy little white lie. Let her help him. Tread the thin line between complete abandonment and safety.
He could do it.
He had to do it.
Now he just had to figure out how to start breathing again.
*********************************************************** *********************
Ukitake had always had close ties to the fourth division. It was because he so ill for so long. He had been to so many check-ups, spent so much time being treated by Unohana that he was practically a permanent fixture. So he saved her the trouble of asking for outside help by simply volunteering his own. He knew when he was needed. He just slipped unobtrusively to a position next to her and demanded, quite quietly, that he be given a responsibility. Unohana didn’t even let the relieved expression slip through her mask.
Quickly, she brought him up to date on the necessary healing kidou he would need in order to properly assist her. This way, she actually stood a chance of examining Hitsugaya-Taichou in yet another attempt to uncover what, precisely, was wrong with him.
The room, for once, was filled with a deathly silence. All the squad members were exhausted and merely sat, awaiting what they knew was eventually coming. The windows’ drapes were drawn shut, allowing no outside eyes to peer in, but it wasn’t enough to stop the sound.
“Now, Ukitake-Taichou, please monitor his life signs and reiatsu levels, especially if his body starts to convulse or scream. I’m going to be trying something I’ve developed recently to try and find out what’s happening. Do you understand?”
Ukitake nodded slowly, his face utterly solemn. “What will happen to you?”
Unohana stared at him, eyes calculating and appraising the older captain. There was a rather lengthy pause before she responded. “This is dangerous, Ukitake-Taichou. Make no mistake. It should be me monitoring his life signs, not you. However, there is no one else who can do what I will try. As is often the case in a crisis, we are forced into positions that are not ideal, taking risks that may not pay off. I will need you to direct the squad members as I will be otherwise occupied. And there is no doubt in my mind that you are the best candidate. Do we understand each other?”
“What do I do if you don’t snap out of it?” His voice was soft and she was certain the others hadn’t heard.
“Nothing. By that point it would be too late,” she answered equally softly in response. “Are you ready?”
Ukitake nodded.
“Then let’s begin.”
**************************************************** ****************************
The sun!
It was as beautiful as he had remembered it. He laughed freely, the first time he had done so in months, he was certain. Grass glimmered underneath the brilliant, glowing dew. He raced alongside the very wind, laughing and smiling and tumbling over and under through the sweet, sweet grass.
There were no words for this beauty. The joy of colors, the warmth of the rays of sunlight and the sheer happiness it brought him.
She called out to him, asking him to come back, that he’d gone too far from her side.
In the light, out here, he couldn’t even bring himself to hate her. Besides, it was better to obey now. If one disobeyed outside, one simply was never allowed back out.
It was true though, that the light hurt his eyes. He had to squint a bit and hold a hand over his eyes to block the strongest of the light. At first, the stars and blackness had been difficult to handle. He had wondered, momentarily, if he had, finally, gone blind once and for all. He would not be surprised to see it happen. He expected it to, eventually.
It was her fault! The sudden vehemence of the thought took over his rationality and he saw her dead in his mind, body splayed out in bloody pieces on the dewy grass.
His body was in control, though, not his mind, so he trotted docilely back to her. Time was up. The darkness was beckoning him again anyway.
Still, the vision of her bloody body was a compelling image he couldn’t quite ignore. So he savored it.
************************************************************** ******************
Hinamori was bored. She was bored of the tiny room, painted all in white and all so precisely organized.
No, that wasn’t true.
It wasn’t boredom.
It was irritation.
She found the little room annoying. Very annoying. Very irritating. So small, yet so pristine and perfect. Everything so amazingly, wonderfully, annoyingly perfect. For some reason, she hated perfection.
Found it incredibly nauseating.
The people weren’t much better, when they bothered showing up. She was certain she wasn’t getting regular meals. Absolutely positive she wasn’t. There was no way.
And she deserved it! No, no, that wasn’t the right attitude. She tried to backtrack, to figure out where she’d messed up her thinking. When had this become about her?
And what had happened to Aizen-Taichou? Nothing that was going on was making sense.
Where were the squad members?
Aizen-Taichou would understand. He always knew what to do. He did everything just right. He was perfect. The best captain in the whole blasted Seireitei.
Hinamori looked around the room in sudden confusion.
When had all the furniture been torn up? And by whom?
************************************************************ ********************
There was blood everywhere. He couldn’t stop the bleeding. Spattered droplets were scattered all over the room. The carpet was saturated with crimson stains.
Pain filled Hitsugaya’s vision and he knew he was screaming. Over and over, the sounds echoed from his mouth, but he couldn’t quite push himself past the pain he knew he was feeling.
Something had happened, something awful. That was why he was suffering so. His skin positively burned and if he didn’t know better, he might have guessed he had cracked ribs. Well, he could see part of the one bone, but his hazed mind had deduced that was more from the depth of the cuts, not because it was out of place.
Nothing existed except his battered body. He needed to find something else, but he knew he would be unable to escape the smothering fog of anguish. So he let the agony take over and blackness followed, only moments later.
*********************************************************** *********************
The problem started simply because there was no way to time the fits. Unohana had started the procedure and everything had been going according to plan.
They had hoped to be able to do it when Hitsugaya-Taichou was calm and he was. She had an extra captain in case something went wrong. The problem was, she did not know what brought on the fits. They were impossible to predict in terms of timing.
And so it was that she had been finishing the final stages of the sequence when Hitsugaya had screamed himself his way into another fit.
Of all the things she might have anticipated, she could not have guessed that she would be thrown backwards against the wall, caught in the most horrifying torture she had ever experienced.
There was so much screaming it was hard to tell where his ended and hers began.
She simply could not accept Toushirou wanting to die. It wasn’t fair! He was such a wonderful person with so many gifts and good qualities. Why would he want to hurt himself that way? It just didn’t make any sense to her.
Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she had been neglecting him. What if it was? Fresh tears started in her eyes. Her fault that her best friend was cutting himself, was hurting himself, had been hurting himself. Had she really been choosing Sousuke over Toushirou that much? What if she had? What should she do?
It seemed as if everything she’d known about the world was suddenly turned upside down with this new knowledge. Everything she’d believed was a lie. Maybe she really didn’t understand Toushirou the way she thought she had.
Sousuke tried calling her multiple times. He even knocked on the door, called through the window. Momo refused to let him in and talk to him. He couldn’t help her now. Especially not if it was her fault for spending so much time with him in the first place. No, she had to be strong by herself for this. She couldn’t just cower here, she had to figure out how to help him.
Yes, that was right. What did she think she was doing sitting her, pitying herself? Toushirou was the one who needed her help! So what could she do?
She absentmindedly twirled a wisp of hair between her fingers and chewed on her bottom lip as she considered her options. Well, she could try an outright confrontation with him. Uncover what his issues through and get him to find help….. But she didn’t have high hopes for that considering how distant he was acting towards her.
She could try tricking him. Being sneaky and cunning to try and figure it out. But if she did, she’d have to be careful, since she’d already tipped him off that she was willing and clever enough to try. And if it didn’t work, she’d need a Plan B.
She didn’t think going for help would work, mostly because Toushirou was something of a genius at fooling people. No one would believe her, really. And besides, even if they did, he could fake having changed or something.
First, she ought to go on recon. She needed to know the problem thoroughly before she attempted to apply a solution. She would try following him around for a while, to see what happened. Perhaps that would give her a clue as what he was up to and why exactly he was cutting himself.
Momo stood up determinedly, feeling much better now that she had a plan.
************************************************************ ********************
Hitsugaya was terrified.
He was panicked.
He was bloody terrified and that was a bonafide fact.
She had found out. She had seen. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak, and he had no way of covering his mistake. It didn’t matter now how cold he acted, how cruel he became.
He knew Momo the best and so he knew what she would do. She was on the hunt. Now she knew he was in trouble and she would dig in her heels and not let go, ever, until she knew why and had tried to “help” him.
All his hard work had been for naught. Everything he’d done. He knew he wasn’t breathing properly, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care.
He had made it as far as the back lot of the school before sliding down against the wall, black curling around the edges of his vision as his breathing had stepped up quite rapidly.
Somehow, somehow, he had to throw her off the scent. He needed to get her off track! He tried to breathe slower, to calm down so he could think rationally. He could do this. He could do this because he had to do this.
All he had to do was lie. A simple, easy little white lie. Let her help him. Tread the thin line between complete abandonment and safety.
He could do it.
He had to do it.
Now he just had to figure out how to start breathing again.
*********************************************************** *********************
Ukitake had always had close ties to the fourth division. It was because he so ill for so long. He had been to so many check-ups, spent so much time being treated by Unohana that he was practically a permanent fixture. So he saved her the trouble of asking for outside help by simply volunteering his own. He knew when he was needed. He just slipped unobtrusively to a position next to her and demanded, quite quietly, that he be given a responsibility. Unohana didn’t even let the relieved expression slip through her mask.
Quickly, she brought him up to date on the necessary healing kidou he would need in order to properly assist her. This way, she actually stood a chance of examining Hitsugaya-Taichou in yet another attempt to uncover what, precisely, was wrong with him.
The room, for once, was filled with a deathly silence. All the squad members were exhausted and merely sat, awaiting what they knew was eventually coming. The windows’ drapes were drawn shut, allowing no outside eyes to peer in, but it wasn’t enough to stop the sound.
“Now, Ukitake-Taichou, please monitor his life signs and reiatsu levels, especially if his body starts to convulse or scream. I’m going to be trying something I’ve developed recently to try and find out what’s happening. Do you understand?”
Ukitake nodded slowly, his face utterly solemn. “What will happen to you?”
Unohana stared at him, eyes calculating and appraising the older captain. There was a rather lengthy pause before she responded. “This is dangerous, Ukitake-Taichou. Make no mistake. It should be me monitoring his life signs, not you. However, there is no one else who can do what I will try. As is often the case in a crisis, we are forced into positions that are not ideal, taking risks that may not pay off. I will need you to direct the squad members as I will be otherwise occupied. And there is no doubt in my mind that you are the best candidate. Do we understand each other?”
“What do I do if you don’t snap out of it?” His voice was soft and she was certain the others hadn’t heard.
“Nothing. By that point it would be too late,” she answered equally softly in response. “Are you ready?”
Ukitake nodded.
“Then let’s begin.”
**************************************************** ****************************
The sun!
It was as beautiful as he had remembered it. He laughed freely, the first time he had done so in months, he was certain. Grass glimmered underneath the brilliant, glowing dew. He raced alongside the very wind, laughing and smiling and tumbling over and under through the sweet, sweet grass.
There were no words for this beauty. The joy of colors, the warmth of the rays of sunlight and the sheer happiness it brought him.
She called out to him, asking him to come back, that he’d gone too far from her side.
In the light, out here, he couldn’t even bring himself to hate her. Besides, it was better to obey now. If one disobeyed outside, one simply was never allowed back out.
It was true though, that the light hurt his eyes. He had to squint a bit and hold a hand over his eyes to block the strongest of the light. At first, the stars and blackness had been difficult to handle. He had wondered, momentarily, if he had, finally, gone blind once and for all. He would not be surprised to see it happen. He expected it to, eventually.
It was her fault! The sudden vehemence of the thought took over his rationality and he saw her dead in his mind, body splayed out in bloody pieces on the dewy grass.
His body was in control, though, not his mind, so he trotted docilely back to her. Time was up. The darkness was beckoning him again anyway.
Still, the vision of her bloody body was a compelling image he couldn’t quite ignore. So he savored it.
************************************************************** ******************
Hinamori was bored. She was bored of the tiny room, painted all in white and all so precisely organized.
No, that wasn’t true.
It wasn’t boredom.
It was irritation.
She found the little room annoying. Very annoying. Very irritating. So small, yet so pristine and perfect. Everything so amazingly, wonderfully, annoyingly perfect. For some reason, she hated perfection.
Found it incredibly nauseating.
The people weren’t much better, when they bothered showing up. She was certain she wasn’t getting regular meals. Absolutely positive she wasn’t. There was no way.
And she deserved it! No, no, that wasn’t the right attitude. She tried to backtrack, to figure out where she’d messed up her thinking. When had this become about her?
And what had happened to Aizen-Taichou? Nothing that was going on was making sense.
Where were the squad members?
Aizen-Taichou would understand. He always knew what to do. He did everything just right. He was perfect. The best captain in the whole blasted Seireitei.
Hinamori looked around the room in sudden confusion.
When had all the furniture been torn up? And by whom?
************************************************************ ********************
There was blood everywhere. He couldn’t stop the bleeding. Spattered droplets were scattered all over the room. The carpet was saturated with crimson stains.
Pain filled Hitsugaya’s vision and he knew he was screaming. Over and over, the sounds echoed from his mouth, but he couldn’t quite push himself past the pain he knew he was feeling.
Something had happened, something awful. That was why he was suffering so. His skin positively burned and if he didn’t know better, he might have guessed he had cracked ribs. Well, he could see part of the one bone, but his hazed mind had deduced that was more from the depth of the cuts, not because it was out of place.
Nothing existed except his battered body. He needed to find something else, but he knew he would be unable to escape the smothering fog of anguish. So he let the agony take over and blackness followed, only moments later.
*********************************************************** *********************
The problem started simply because there was no way to time the fits. Unohana had started the procedure and everything had been going according to plan.
They had hoped to be able to do it when Hitsugaya-Taichou was calm and he was. She had an extra captain in case something went wrong. The problem was, she did not know what brought on the fits. They were impossible to predict in terms of timing.
And so it was that she had been finishing the final stages of the sequence when Hitsugaya had screamed himself his way into another fit.
Of all the things she might have anticipated, she could not have guessed that she would be thrown backwards against the wall, caught in the most horrifying torture she had ever experienced.
There was so much screaming it was hard to tell where his ended and hers began.