Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Utter Chaos ❯ Finding Truth in the Lies ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

found that she couldn’t sleep anymore. Since she had woken, she simply didn’t want to. She couldn’t trust it, didn’t know who might wander near. It didn’t help that every time the fatigue began to be too much and she thought she might cave, she heard screams echoing from somewhere nearby. When the screams started, she would always head towards the door to find someone, anyone, to get whoever it was to shut up. Unfortunately, the screaming seemed to act as a signal. As soon as it started, all the fourth division members would mysteriously disappear. And somehow, somehow, they had managed to seal her kidou and effectively block her from escaping her boxlike prison.

It was infuriating.

She knew something was up. The way Unohana was suddenly never there-Unohana, who was always very involved with patients, especially the higher level within the respective division. Not because she disliked lower members or held any sort of prejudices against them, it was just that Unohana knew she’d see the upper members more often and so she preferred to cultivate positive relationships with them. Though Hinamori herself had been here but rarely in previous occasions, never had she heard of the patient being imprisoned this way!

There was no longer anyone to trust. She couldn’t trust this strange behavior of the fourth division members. She could no longer trust sight with her eyes. Her eyes had deceived her, showed her an Aizen-Taichou she couldn’t believe existed. However, much as it hurt her to think it….

She could no longer trust him either.

She had had endless time to consider the possibilities. Aizen-Taichou might have been brainwashed. Unlikely, seeing as how she knew what a powerful captain he was (yet she believed him weak enough to be killed by Ichimaru…). Or he could be evil. He could be a backstabbing traitor who had thoroughly brainwashed her into turning on her best friend in the world. But that couldn’t be all true either because she had seen too much of the good inside him.

The whole conundrum had turned her mind into a bloody haze, groping in the blind darkness for any kind of hope to hold onto. She clung to her anger, to her rage, because it distracted her from the need to think. When she thought of her hate, she thought only of how she could destroy those who were bottling her. Those who were restraining her within this prison.

Hitsugaya-kun couldn’t know about this. He’d never allow her to be treated this way. He’d never keep Aizen-Taichou from her. Never. He knew better.

Her eyes betrayed her weakness.

Her eyes betrayed the glimmerings of denial.

Her eyes betrayed the splintering of her mind, indicating the swallowing layers of psychosis.

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Extremely self-conscious, Hitsugaya slid uncomfortably to a cross-legged position on the gym floor, as far away from other students as possible. He knew, mentally, that the other students were taking no more notice of him than usual, but he couldn’t rid himself of the obsessive nerves. No matter that they were counter-productive and utterly useless, he still couldn’t wrestle away the feeling that he was more noticeable today. He should have just skipped the class altogether. He would have, only he hadn’t realized the implications of gym class until he’d already been spotted by the sensei. He leaned back on his hands, attempting to appear nonchalant. He knew he was failing at it, but it couldn’t stop the nervous action.

Hinamori was talking nervously with Rukia, attempting to appear as if she wasn’t horribly aware of his presence. It was rather pathetic the way she kept trying. Hadn’t he always told her that she was so obvious that way? Well, whatever, it didn’t matter now. Actually, it worked in his favor, seeing as how he was trying to remain unobtrusive. The gym teacher announced roll call and he stood to line up with the other students. Unfortunately, this meant standing right next to Hinamori as both their last names were pretty close alphabetically.

He walked up next to her in line, trying to act normal and simultaneously ignore her.

“Hello, Toushirou-kun,” Hinamori said, her voice wobbling a bit. She was glancing at him a little, trying to be polite, but not wanting to be embarrassed.

He stared at her without saying anything, ensuring he had her full and complete attention, before pointedly staring off in another direction without uttering a single word. He could practically see her expression, saddened, embarrassed, hurt and mortified. But mostly on verge of tears. He winced mentally. Somehow, he had to figure out how to do this while causing her fewer tears.

The teacher went down the line, checking to ensure that each student was present. He stopped at Hinamori.

“Momo-chan, are you all right?”

Hitsugaya swiveled his head around very quickly to get a good look at her.

“No, no, I’m fine,” she muttered, pale as a ghost. She was literally swaying on her feet and her eyes were half open.

“Hitsugaya-kun, you and Momo-chan are good friends, why don’t you take her down to the nurse?”

Cursing himself for handling this so badly, he nodded curtly and took her arm, ensuring that she wouldn’t fall. Once out in the hallway, Hinamori stopped a moment.

“Can we sit down for a bit? I really need to sit.” She wiped the back of her hand across her forehead, an acknowledgement of how hot she was.

Worriedly, Hitsugaya nodded his agreement.

After sitting down, she narrowed her eyes at him. “See, this is what I’m talking about Toushirou-san. How are we not friends when you are still so obviously concerned for me?”

He stared at her. Wait a second, had she just tricked him? No way!

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Today the darkness was a snake. A hungry snake, coiling constantly and always ready to strike. All he had to do was merge with it. Become one with its anger and its tense readiness for battle.

He sat cross-legged in the corner he knew was farthest from the door, despite being unable to see the door. She said that if he was good today, he would be allowed to go outside tomorrow. He had behaved excellently lately, she said. Easily killed those she’d set against him and with only surface wounds. Much as he hated her, he was still glowing with pride. She never said anything that wasn’t true, especially when it came to expertise.

It was true that seeing the sun would ruin his fights for the next few days, but it was always worth it. There was something to be said for the beauty of colors. Still, it broke his link with the darkness. After leaving, he always had to work hard to build the merge back up. So today, he was hoping to keep that bond high.

After all, the darkness was his only comfort. It was his only advantage over her.

The darkness slithered around him, pleased at his dependence. He was safe within it. For now.

************************************************************* *******************

Momo had decided to try something ridiculous. She wanted to see if she could trick Toushirou into proving he cared about her. Then, once she’d cornered him, she’d demand to know the real reason behind him not wanting to be friends! At the very least, it might throw him off and distract him into revealing something! It couldn’t hurt to try.

So far, it had been going well. Toushirou himself had taught her how to pretend things to protect herself should she ever need to. He was always doing silly things like that. Worrying about her physical safety when she was in a safe neighborhood surrounded by strong men. When she’d laughed though, Toushirou had given her that disappointed look she hated. So she’d given in and tried to learn it. Ironically, that was going to help her against him now. She had been surprised at how easily everyone was fooled though. Perhaps she was just that gifted?

She sat down on a bench, pretending continuing fatigue and Toushirou sat down next to her, obvious worry written all over his face. “See, this is what I’m talking about Toushirou-san. How are we not friends when you are still so obviously concerned for me?”

The look on his face was positively priceless. She would have jumped up and down for joy if it wouldn’t have ruined the moment. He was shocked that she’d tricked him and speechless to deny it.

He quickly looked away, discomfited and blushing slightly. “Just because we’re not friends doesn’t mean I can’t be concerned when someone’s white as a sheet. It could have been the girl on the other side of you just as easily, even though I don’t even know her name.”

Momo rolled her eyes. “Yeah, sure Toushirou-san. I buy that. Not.” She grasped his hands for emphasis. “What’s so wrong with staying friends?”

He backed up on the bench, trying to pull his wrists out of her grip. “Let me go,” he said, his voice slightly breathless. She looked down at his arms involuntarily.

“What for?” And gasped. “Toushirou! What happened to your arms?!”

For both arms were covered with thin, white, spidery scars, crisscrossing all the way up to his elbow.

*********************************************************** *********************

He was coughing violently, blood splattering all over the face of the healer bent directly over him. His whole back arched and seized, lifting sheer feet off the bed as the healer desperately attempted to keep him flat on the mattress.

“Hold him steady!,” Unohana shouted. “We can’t heal these wounds fast enough! He’s losing too much blood!”

The wound inflicted by Aizen reopened for about the twentieth time since she’d initially sealed it. Hitsugaya’s constant movement prevented both easy treatment and any kind of consistent care for the older wounds.

“Bring in more bandages!” Unohana was desperate for anything that might help them help him. The whole situation was only getting worse. Most of the crew were half-deaf between Hitsugaya’s screams and Unohana’s shouted orders.

Two more spontaneous gashes burst open on his thighs, utterly new and freshly cut.

Somehow, she absolutely had to determine where these cuts were originating from! Why the screaming? What was he seeing? And more importantly, why was he seeing it? All questions to which she had no answers. And the answers were the only source of curing him.

************************************************************* *******************

Momo stared at Toushirou’s face, her grip on his wrists tightening to vise-like. “Toushirou, what happened to your arms?”

Parts of them were still raw, as if rubbed by a knife that wasn’t quite sharp enough. Parts were scabbed.

“Nothing, all right? Nothing’s wrong with me. They’re…. they’re just birthmarks.”

“Now I know you’re lying. Toushirou, tell me the truth, why would you do this?” Tears glistened in the corners of her eyelids. “What’s wrong? Is it really because I haven’t been there for you? I’m so sorry Toushirou… Please, let me help. Please?” She could barely hold back from shedding her tears.

Toushirou’s face softened as he looked at her scared and worried face. “I’m fine. Honest. These are all old.”

“Not all of them are!,” she cried. “Why won’t you just let me help?!”

“Listen to me, Momo. You can’t help me. And even if you could, I wouldn’t want you to. Besides, you have nothing to do with this.” His eyes hardened again. “Now, stay away from me. I don’t want to have to keep enduring your pathetic attempts to unravel our lack of friendship. It’s over, okay? And that is your fault. So quit talking to me.”

And with that, he stood up and walked off, leaving a crying Momo on the bench behind him.