Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Black Wings ❯ Chapter 20 ( Chapter 20 )

Black Wings

By: Aisaki Sumi

 

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Chapter 20

 

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She stood there and stared. She didn't recall falling; only the sensation of the world underneath her feet spinning out of control and the bright swirls of colors above her turning into a dizzying mixture of blue and orangey skies and warm amber eyes.

 

The other's grip on her hand was firm and the warmth that was seeping into her cold palm drove away the invasive coldness of early winter. Like the gentle caress of the spring breeze, Sakura suddenly felt the world became so much clear and beautiful.

 

Just then, Syaoran reached out and brushed messy locks of hair back from her face; his gentle touches felt so feather-light yet tingling at the same time. Sakura felt so mesmerized that she almost forgot that he was stepping into her personal space.

 

Everything around them seemed so strangely quiet and distant, and she was lulled into a light doze as his fingers tangled carelessly in her auburn hair. It still felt strange to her how she got to where she was right now -- standing by his side and holding onto his large, somewhat callused strong hand.

 

She had come a long way. Really.

 

Suddenly, she sneezed before she could hold it back and the sound echoed in the thick, but pleasant silence between them. He took off his black wings jacket and wrapped it around her petite figure. “Let's get you into something warm before you catch a cold.” He murmured into her ears in his enchanting, nimble tone of voice.

 

“Un.” She nodded obediently, feeling herself subconsciously clutching onto the soft, cashmere fabric of his white turtle-neck sweater. His smile was as warm and as loving as ever. She could see the corners of his eyes winkling a little under the ethereal lights of the dying sun.

 

She felt the urge to brush aside the messy bangs that were falling into his eyes, shadowing his bright amber eyes which held all the lights in the world; beautiful and ornate. Her fingers were itching for the feeling of his silken locks sliding through her fingers, her hands were shaking and her heart pounded with anticipation--

 

--but she held back, her gaze aslant.

 

She ran away from her the strange feeling stirring inside of her. Again.

 

“Let's go.”

 

“Un.”

 

She felt his grip tightened, just so ever slightly.

 

……

 

They arrived at the Li mansion moments later and it was just as grand and luxurious as she had imagined. The golden gates, glimmering brilliantly under the sun, reminded her of the gates of heaven and the magical garden behind it looked exotically beautiful, like the Garden of Eden.

 

Syaoran led her through the small meandering road which was seemingly disappearing down this mystical land, while she was still astonished by the place's esoteric pulchritude. They eventually reached the grand entrance of the Li Mansion and it opened automatically the moment they set their foot onto the marble staircases.

 

“Welcome home, Li-sama.” A deep, yet aged voice filled with unspoken wisdoms rang through the speaker attached onto the center of the expensive looking door. As the door slowly opened up, a gently smiling elder man in a white suit bowed at Syaoran politely.

 

But Syaoran just dipped his chin slightly in return. His sharp amber eyes swept across the vastness and the emptiness of the entrance way to look for any sight of his annoying cousin. Finding none, his gaze fell upon Wei's unwavering smile and pulled Sakura in front of him.

 

“This is Kinomoto Sakura, my friend from school and she's here to paint today.” He narrated in a lazy tone of voice, keeping its content as short and concise as possible. It sounded more like a lazy drawl instead of a supposed enthusiastic introduction.

 

Syaoran tried to sound as nonchalant and as bored usual, but his failed attempt only caused to widen Wei's smile.

 

“It's a pleasure to finally meet you Ms. Kinomoto. I am Wei, and you can call me whenever you need something.” Wei introduced himself, bowing politely to Sakura and this startled her a little. But she returned the favor by lowering her head awkwardly. She didn't remember how long it had been since she was a guest to someone else's household.

 

“Master Syaoran, may I inquire which room you'd like to use for your painting sessions?”

 

Syaoran paused for a moment, the images of all the rooms they had in the Li Mansion flashed in his mind. As Sakura's timid form wavered on the verge of his fringes, a playful grin grew across his lips as he decided to toss the question to her. “Where would you like to paint me Sakura-chan?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrow suggestively.

 

Sakura's eyes twitched just subtly. The change in her blank expression was almost unnoticeable to others' eyes. But nothing ever escaped Syaoran's sharp eyes.

 

“I don't really care, anywhere's fine.” She answered mildly.

 

“How about the living room master Syaoran?” Wei suddenly decided to voice his opinion as well, and Syaoran almost forgot about his quiet, comfortable presence. There was a hint of amusement flashing in Wei's dark grey eyes as he watched the exchange between the two teenagers before him.

 

At the same time, he took the time to scrutinize the seemingly fragile girl before him. Her skin was the palest shade of porcelain, and her eyes were the rarest green color he had ever seen. One might think of her as delicate and frail, but if they looked into her solemn green eyes, they would know they have been deceived.

 

In the depth of green and hints of dark blue, Wei saw defiance and determination as if she was challenging destiny and fate. There was a hidden passion glinting in her eyes, frozen beneath the layers of ice. Though like a faint candle fire that seemed would go out with just a careless breeze, he knew that when that passion is unleashed someday, she would shine like the brightest star in the universe.

 

She reminded Wei of the Syaoran from a few years ago, tortured by his past and other unspeakable things. But Syaoran grew out of it. He stepped away from his shadowed past and moved on, and Wei knew with confidence that she'll one day look forward instead of backward, and strive down the path of life fearlessly, courageously.

 

And shine.

 

“What do you think Sakura? You're the artist here.”

 

Lips pressed together into a thin line, Sakura took a quick glimpse at the enormous living room beside them and nodded in approval.

 

“Great, let's get started then.” Ignoring Sakura's obvious protests, Syaoran grabbed her thin shoulder and held her in front of him before pushing her to the direction of the living room. There was an enthusiastic and gladden smile on his lips but Sakura just looked like she wanted to smack someone on the head.

 

……

 

Syaoran settled down on the couch while Sakura took a sit on the comfortable chair Wei prepared for her beside the piano. She set up her canvas and all her art equipments while Syaoran watched her.

 

She didn't realize how beautiful she looked when she was serious and focused.

 

“Okay, we can start now.” Her sudden announcement snapped Syaoran out of his thoughts. He looked at her, seeking out for any kind of instructions as to how she would like him to pose for her while he took a sip of his favorite warm cappuccino with white mists swirling out of it, awakening his senses.

 

“You can start with taking off your sweater.”

 

Syaoran choked on a mouthful of cappuccino. He turned a shocked glance up at her direction, but only to see her with a straight face. Was she really serious?

 

“O-off?” He repeated, stammering in a timid and quivering voice that sounded too foreign to be his.

 

“Yah.” Sakura's answer was so casual as if she was just talking about the weather.

 

Blinking a few times, Syaoran put aside his cappuccino as his shaking, numbed fingers fumbled their way to the ends of his sweater. As he slowly pulled it over his head, a well-built and slightly tanned body was revealed to the world.

 

The sudden feeling of nakedness made him feel slightly uncomfortable. He wiggled in his seat a little as he debated with himself whether he should look up at her or not. Warmth crawled from the ends of his ears to his cheeks and spread out, and he was pretty sure his face resembled something close to a tomato at the moment.

 

Gathering up enough courage, he forced himself to look up at her direction, and there, he saw a focused Sakura, concentrating everything she had on the magical paintbrush in her hand. He had never seen her like this before. Her eyes were sharp and critical, glistening beautifully with the fires of passion burning in those lucid orbs for what she was doing.

 

The embarrassment in him slowly died down as he realized she was judging him as a piece of art. Fuji-sensei's soft yet abstruse philosophical words played in his mind as he observed her.

 

There is something utterly elegant and beauteous about the human body. It reveals the most honest state of a person—one's natural and hidden beauty. Without the cover of clothes and bright colors of the fabrics which always try to define us, for the first time, we are seen as our true selves and for who we really are.

 

She wanted him to take off his shirt to reveal the real him, unseen by the people around him. She wanted to paint him for who he was, not for what people wanted him to be perceived as. She wanted to paint him for the beautiful soul of Li Syaoran, not the heir of the Li estate, or the heroic, overly glorified leader of Black Wings.

 

Using her paint brush and a pair of observant eyes, sharp like lasers, like cutting diamonds, she wanted to paint him for who he was.

 

Feeling more relaxed and comfortable than before, Syaoran's eyes affixed themselves to a distant point where the boundary of the world laid. And smiled, alluringly.

 

……

 

Time passed by so quickly and so unknowingly like the sand slipping through an hourglass, but neither of them noticed the changes. A pleasant, soothing tranquility encompassed them. The only sound that was audible in the quiet living room was the soft rustling sounds of the tip of Sakura's paint brush against the rough surface of the canvas.

 

It was then Wei interrupted them, reminding them of the lateness of the hour. “Pardon my intrusion master Syaoran, but it's already seven o'clock. Would you like to have dinner right now or a bit later?”

 

Sakura was the first one to snap back into reality. She whipped her head to his direction and quickly glanced up at the perpetually smiling elder man, while earning herself a polite nod of acknowledgement from him.

 

“I should go now.” She announced hastily and quietly, putting aside her brush and paint and canvas stance.

 

“I'll walk you home.” Syaoran offered, jumping up from the comfortable couch almost immediately, but as soon as he saw Wei's smile growing larger from the verge of his fringes, he looked down and saw himself still as topless as ever. A faint pink shade surfaced on his cheeks as he hastily grabbed his sweater and pulled it over his head, messing up his chestnut hair even more.

 

“There's no need for that. I have somewhere I need to go first--” Before Sakura could finish her sentence, a loud bang was heard and then quickly followed by heavy stomps and soon a very furious Meiling with reddened face barged in, slamming the living room door open.

 

She glared at Sakura's way scornfully and turned her attention back to Syaoran, her eyes boring into his almost accusingly. “What the HELL is she doing here?” She demanded through gritted teeth, her nails digging into the flesh of her palm.

 

“She's my friend and I invited her over. I don't think I need to get your approval for who I want to bring into the house.” Syaoran shot back, ambling over to where Sakura was and stepped out in front of her as if defending her. “Keep in mind that this is MY house and I have the right to do whatever I want in here.”

 

Meiling wanted to retort it, but found herself unable to put the right words together. Her chest rose and fell in an unevenly pattern, her mouth tight and fists shaking with anger as she remained silent.

 

He was right. He was the owner of this house while she was just someone unimportant who happened to be his cousin and had no where to go because her parents died in a car accident years ago when she was only four years old.

 

She knew she was just reacting irrationally to Sakura's unexpected visit and she knew, anything she says right now would only work against her benefits and irritate him even more.

 

But she couldn't help it.

 

The jealousy inside of her heart took control of her mind and body and drove her away her ability to reason. She wanted to make it stop, but she couldn't. The sight of Sakura stung her eyes so much to a point that she resolved to the most childish ways of doing things.

 

“Don't step over the line, Meiling. There's a limit to my tolerant capacity.” Syaoran declared icily, his amber eyes as cold and inexorable as ever. And Meiling heard her own heart breaking, shattering into millions of pieces.

 

“Come on Sakura, let's go.” He grabbed Sakura's hand and dragged her along with him without sparing Meiling another look as he strode pass her. Like a careless breeze, he was gone, disappeared without a trace as if he was never here in the first place.

 

Meiling's legs wobbled and her hands were shaking, the handbag she was holding slipped out of her grip to drop onto the well-polished wooden floor and fell flat with a dull smack. Her vision was swimming and her eyes stung from the tears flooding her eyes.

 

She really loved him.

 

Resentment at understanding tasted bitter at the back of her mouth as she was forced to realization.

 

The one he loved was not her, and would never be her.

 

Because he loves Sakura.

 

……

 

“Sorry about that, Meiling's my cousin. She's always been like that. So don't take any of the stuff she says too personally, ne?” Syaoran scratched his head and explained, a sheepish grin tugging on his lips as he stole a quick glance at the silent Sakura walking along his side.

 

“It's okay.” Was all she said, mildly and emotionlessly as always.

 

Sighing in relief silently, Syaoran's gaze stopped on her small form, a questioning tilt to his eyebrows. “So what were you saying before Meiling decided to barge into the living room?”

 

“I have to visit someone before I go home.” She replied simply, keeping the conversation curt.

 

“Then I'll come with you,” A pause, and he added, “if you don't mind.”

 

Sakura halted into a stop. Her eyes traveled up to his handsome feathers and stared into his boundless, endless depths of amber. “Do whatever you want.” With that being said, she picked up her pace again, leaving a cheerful Syaoran trailing behind her.

 

……

 

They ended up going to Tomoeda's General Hospital.

 

Syaoran was slightly puzzled at first but held back his questions as he saw the unusual solemn look on Sakura's face. They signed up for a family visit for the patient named Kinomoto Touya, and Syaoran wondered who it could be. Perhaps Sakura's grandfather? Or cousin? Or uncle? He wasn't sure.

 

Sakura never told him anything about her family and her past. The poem she wrote on that crumbled piece of paper did give a rather vague and ambiguous image of the events occurred in her past. But what happened to her family still remained as a mystery to him.

 

They stopped in front of room 305 and stood in front of the closed door. Sakura's right hand rose into the air to touch the steeled doorknob. Yet as her hand contacted the cool and smooth surface of the hard steel, she hesitated to turn it, even if it was to apply the slightest amount of force to it.

 

He could tell she was shaking deep down inside from the stiff and awkward movement of her hand, but he remained silent. He knew she didn't need his pities, because she was strong.

 

Taking a deep breath, she allowed the restlessness to settle. Her stiffened hand slowly turned the doorknob and then pushed it forward. A small squeak was heard, pitchy but quiet. The blinding whiteness which spanned the entire room suddenly came into view.

 

Sakura didn't like the color of the walls. It reminded her too much of the color of death and stillness.

 

Her gaze wandered pass the small couch on the side, then to the pale blue walls, and finally settled down upon the bed in the center of the room, covered by a number of plain white cotton sheets. There, she saw her brother, his peaceful his face, his ghostly pale skin and his slightly bluish lips.

 

There were permanent grey bags under his brilliant eyes which were now closed and masked, hidden beneath the heavy eyelids that may never open again. He looked so fragile.

 

Her eyes softened, saddening as she surveyed his peaceful expression. It seemed as if he had fallen into a deep slumber, dreaming away about the most perfect world, where flying into the sun was possible and where wax wings never melt.

 

He would never be able to see the filthiness of this fabricated world ever again. She should be happy for him, in a way. But for some reasons, she really wanted to cry.

 

Before Syaoran could ask her who he was, Sakura came out of her solemn silence and spoke aloud, her soft voice echoing in the tranquil room and sounding exceptionally loud as every word of hers was whisked away to the corners of the room. “He's my older brother, Kinomoto Touya.”

 

“He has been in a permanent coma for several years now ever since that car accident which he saved me from. I was young back then and because I was chasing after a squirrel across the street, I didn't see the speeding car coming at my way. And before I could get a sense of what was going on, I saw my brother lying there, still and lifeless.” There was a painful and reminiscent glint in her eyes as she paused for the briefest moment to breathe, to swallow.

 

After an interlude of silence, she went on. “There was blood everywhere. My mother heard the loud bang and ran out of the house. She fainted as she saw my brother lying in a pool of blood. My father dialed the emergency number right away, and the paramedics took my brother away.”

 

“But the doctors said it was already too late, his brain was so damaged that he would never wake up from this coma again.” Sakura swallowed hard as she licked her dry lips. There was a lump in her throat. Her lips were quivering as she forced out the last part of her sentence with great difficulty. “He's in this coma because of me.”

 

“Saku…ra…” Syaoran attempted to offer some word of comfort, but his voice trailed off as he realized that Sakura wasn't listening to him. She was lost in her memories—those painful memories and heavy burden that she had to carry alone for all those years.

 

“It's ironical to see how all the people who ever loved me and cared about me ended up so miserably. My mother committed suicide in front of me because she blamed herself for making me unhappy. She thought it was her fault that I was bullied at school because my classmates laughed at me for not having a father.”

 

“My brother nearly died because he saved me from the speeding car. His future was so bright…but because of me, he may never wake up again. And my father, who loved me dearly and more than anything else in the world, was divorced by my mother because she blamed him for not keeping an eye on me and letting that car accident happen. She called him an unfit father.”

 

“They gave me everything they had, yet I only brought them grief in return.”

 

The lone statement suspended in the air between them, echoing hauntingly. The silence that filled up between them once again was heavy and full of dread. He could hear her hitched breathes, and it pained his heart to see her like that. He always thought something bad happened to her when she as young

 

But he didn't know it was that bad.

 

“People used to call me the cursed child, and I was taken to Tokyo Asylum for treatments because they said I was mentally unstable.” The emphasis on the last few words was bitter, he could hear the underlying mockeries in her tone.

 

She suddenly swerved around and aligned their visions. His eyes widened at the suddenness of her action. “Do you still want to be friends with someone like that?” She asked him bitterly.

 

He fell silent, and she waited. He could see the mocking and bitter sneer forming on her face.

 

“Yes I do.” The determined words escaped his mouth—so quiet, yet sounding exceptionally loud in her ears. Their eyes were locked in a gaze and Sakura saw nothing but integrity. He was the first person she told her story to. But she didn't know why.

 

She wasn't the type who would share her personal stories to the others. But she wanted to confirm something. She wanted to know if he was like the others and if he would turn his back on her because of her distorted past.

 

“I told you, the past isn't important, but the future is.” He reached over to rest his hand on her shoulder in a gesture to comfort. The gentle touch wrapped Sakura in a strange type of calm.

 

Yes, she still remembered those immortal words that rekindled the fire of hope in her heart. Feeling overwhelmed, Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and lowered her head. Her long bangs shadowed her face, making her expression unreadable. “Turn around.” The words choked in her throat and she swallowed painfully.

 

Syaoran was slightly puzzled by the sudden demand, but did what he was asked to anyway.

 

She stepped forward, closing the gape between them and slowly leaned against his back, her hands clutching onto the material of his sweater. She felt his muscles tensify but he quickly relaxed as she buried her face into his sweater and released the emotions that she had been trying to hide for all those years.

 

The heavy weight of the burden and guilty she carried on her shoulder was finally lifted off her, and she suddenly felt easier to breathe. He didn't mind her past, because he said it was unimportant. Her past was something that she couldn't change, but she could take the future into her hand and make it better and brighter.

 

She felt she could finally let go of it now.

 

It was the end of the dark tunnel for her where an ethereal pale light took her into its embrace.

 

And there, she found tears.

 

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a/n: next chap is the finale (will be posted next week for sure). I might come back to edit this story and re-write certain parts…someday. XD Oh, and the genre of Black Wings has been changed to general/angst, because the romance in here is very mild and subtle. I'm not a fan of heavy romance.

 

Oh, and beware of the crazy action and tear-jerkiness of the next chapter because it will be the story's climax and happy ending. Lol XD

 

Remember to review!