Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Black Wings ❯ Chapter 19 ( Chapter 19 )

Black Wings

By: Aisaki Sumi

 

---------------------------

 

Chapter 19

 

---------------------------

 

Sakura sat idly on her cushioned windowsill, her head tilting backward until it touched the firmness of the concrete wall. Her green eyes were set upon the distant horizon that was touched by shades of orange, red and violet hues.

 

Through the open window, the chilly wintry wind darted in - a ruthless, freezing touch that seeped through the thin material of her gray sweater.

 

The white curtains—so feather light and transparent, were sent flowing in the lucid air as if the fabric was weightless. Harsh lighting of the dusk's sun was beating all too brightly against her bleary eyes. Colors blurred, contours melt into shapeless masses that vaguely resembled the small town of Tomoeda.

 

All the residential houses, buildings, were bathed in the ethereal lights; their dark blue shadows haloed by luminous radiance. The beautiful dusk of Tomeoda seemed so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time. She didn't remember how long it had been since she had seen dusk from her current location.

 

When she was young, she always rested her head on Nadeshiko's lap and watched the sun slowly disappeared down the horizon. Her eyes were always half closed lackadaisically as she gazed into the boundary of the world while feeling the gentle strokes of Nadeshiko's hand.

 

Her mother always ran her tapered fingers through those silken auburn strands; her ever-present loving smile in place, the lights cast a soft glow over her beautiful face. She was the one of beauty and grace.

 

The memory seemed so blurry and faded. It was one of those happier moments in her life when she thought the world was beautiful and perfect. But she knew, her judgment back then was too innocent and naïve. She didn't see the darker side of the world and its ugliness; she didn't see its flaws.

 

It was strange how happiness last only for a fleeting moment, like a snap shot of that one single frame of movement, which disappeared as soon as it surfaced. But sadness and bitterness seemed to be perpetual and pervasive, lasting for centuries long.

 

If all the great things in life were to last forever, they would lose their values. The reason why they are so great is because they are ephemeral. It's just like life. If it were to be easy then life would become dull and meaningless. Believe it or not, the hardships in life are what make it beautiful.

 

She remembered him saying those immortal words. Those playful amber eyes showed traces of a rare seriousness and maturation, and sometimes she wondered if she really knew him. Perhaps he had a dark secret, a past that he'd rather forget, just like her.

 

He had so many different faces noticed. Sometimes he was the rebellious gang leader, with a devilish and teasing grin as his trademark and cracked immature jokes. Other times, when they were alone, he spoke of profound philosophical matters.

 

Really, she wanted to know which face represented the real him.

 

And perhaps none at all.

 

She stilled found it hard to believe when she asked him the other day at the airport to be her model for the art contest. It was just a casual question that escaped her mouth almost too carelessly. “I'm planning to paint something for an art contest. Wanna model for me?”

 

She was expecting a no from him. Really. He just didn't seem like the type who would model for others without asking for a big favor in return. Okay maybe she was exaggerating a little. But still, she didn't expect that yes to roll off the tip of his tongue so easily.

 

She thought he was just kidding when he agreed to it, but she knew she was wrong when she saw the integrity and seriousness in his cryptic golden eyes. Sure I'll model for you. Such an affirmative answer, but what made her heart thud frantically like never before was what he added after that. Anything for you Sakura; anything.

 

Those words produced endless echoes in her mind. Sakura writhed uncomfortably as she pushed aside those thoughts. The numbing coldness finally brought her back to reality.

 

Her window was still open, and a few of the fallen auburn leaves of late autumn that drifted so weightlessly through the air and carried by the careless wind, landed on her gray skirt.

 

She looked down at the leaves and noticed how wilted their edges were and the pattern of golden splashes dappled upon their roughened surfaces. Brushing it aside, Sakura expelled the breath that she held moments ago so unknowingly, and then inhaled deeply. The air no longer tasted minty and refreshing. It was becoming more dry and crispy--a sign of the starting of winter.

 

Months passed by so quickly that she almost forgot to count the days and the weeks like how she did at the asylum. Was she slowly becoming a part of this fast changing world and the moving stream of people in this town, this city? She didn't remember how or when did those changes occur. Everything just happened to rapidly.

 

And she had a feeling that it had something to do with him.

 

Suddenly, the loud roaring of the engine that sounded awfully familiar to her ears disturbed the pleasant tranquility that encompassed her moments ago. Her soft sigh resonated in the reverberant air as she lowered her gaze, only to meet the smiling young man's amber eyes.

 

He waved casually at her, as if there was nothing unusual about showing up unexpectedly at her door before dinner. Sometimes she wondered if he always jumped out of nowhere like that. Perhaps he simply had too much free time on his hands.

 

After a brief interlude of awkward silence, Sakura raised her hand uncomfortably and waved back at him in a highly stiffened manner. It felt strange, really, to notice her own little changes, of how she slowly stepped out of her shells and accepted his intrusion into her life.

 

She watched him, slightly perplexed by his intension until she saw him gesturing her to go downstairs. Frowning her crescent shaped eyebrows, she reluctantly got off the cushioned windowsill and headed for the exit. While she was on her way down to the front door of her house, her mind wandered away on the possibilities of the world.

 

Within seconds seconds, she reached the exit. When she pushed the wooden door open, that familiar handsome face which had been at the back of her mind since he took her out to see the airplanes was revealed.

 

He smiled, gently, warmly; he never smiled at anyone quite like that—amused, interested, challenged, surprised, teasing and always tinged with an edge of indefinable softness. His hair fell—soft feathery, golden brown—across his face, and Sakura itched to brush it back, but she turned away instead.

 

“Why are you here?” She demanded; the words came out a bit too cold and unfriendly than intended. She saw his smile waning just slightly in the fringes of her sight but promptly ignored it. Her eyes affixed themselves to a point across the sidewalk, evading his gaze.

 

Her mouth was tight, chin dipped, eyes looking at anywhere but him. She didn't know what made her so uncomfortable. Before, she avoided him because she found him annoying. But now… she avoided his eyes because she was afraid she would lose herself in them and surrender her all to him.

 

She couldn't allow that.

 

“As cold as usual eh Sakura? But my heart can take another blow.”

 

The same gentle teasing, Sakura fought back the urge to roll her eyes. Perhaps she was really getting used to his presence. The silence stretched between them. Sakura further furrowed her eyebrows and flickered a glance at his direction. “Why are you here?” She asked again, less harsh this time but with more irritation.

 

Syaoran sighed at her stubbornness. “The art contest…” He trailed off, hoping it was enough to trigger her memories. He waited for a brief moment and scrutinized her face for any change in her somewhat blank expression, but gave up when he found none. “You know…the modeling thing.” He forced it out as he fidgeted a little.

 

She really wanted him to say that embarrassing word. When he told Eriol and Hiro about the modeling thing they cracked up almost instantly, rolling on the floor with tears in their eyes. Tears from laughing too hard. He wanted to punch them in the face right then.

 

What had he done to deserve such unsupportive friends? And according to that annoying Eriol, modeling is for girls and gay guys. A dark scowl surfaced on Syaoran's face as he recalled that sadistic bastard's comment. But he shook his head slightly to push aside the thought.

 

“So…” he heard himself muttering, the words were easily whisked away by the careless chilly breeze.

 

Emerald green eyes flickered in his direction, an obvious “so what?” in their depths.

 

“Well… you need inspiration for drawing don't you? And I have a perfect place for it.” Syaoran fought to put the right words together, without making his intention sound to obvious. He had never asked a girl out before, because it was always them bothering him, buzzing around him like annoying flies.

 

But now, it was the other way around. Some might say Syaoran was a charismatic figure, the heroic yet rebellious leader of Black Wings who battled to defy the social norms and expectations. But at this particular moment, he was just a shy, uncertain boy asking a girl to a date without actually stating it.

 

“But I--” Before Sakura could turn him down like she had done countless times before, Fujitaka showed up at the door, eliciting the perfect smile that reminded them of spring. “Sure Sakura will go and I brought her art kit and sketch book here just in case.”

 

Fujitaka answered for her, a hand holding out Sakura's bag which contained everything she needed to Syaoran. He patted the stunned Sakura gently on the head, a finger brushing back the strand of auburn hair that fell into her shocked eyes.

 

He gave her a little push on the back to encourage her to go forward and experience what it was like to be young and step out of the shadow of her past. Her life was just beginning and she shouldn't shut herself out from the world and spiral and fall away into the void of sorrow.

 

Syaoran took the bag and dipped his head respectfully at Fujitaka while sending him his appreciation through a smile.

 

Sakura followed Syaoran down the pavement in front of their house, like the long seemingly endless road that eventually would lead them to a brighter future. Fujitaka smiled with contentment, for the first time since his divorce with Nadeshiko. He smiled wholeheartedly.

 

He wished he had a camera with him to capture this moment forever. Happiness is ephemeral after all, but then again, anything was possible and perchance, their happiness could last for an eternity long.

 

……

 

Sakura took off her helmet and inhaled deeply to savour the taste of the refreshing lucid air. Her eyes widened slightly in amazement and fascination as the enigmatic ocean came into view. The boundless, limitless, endless deep blue water tinged golden and orange by the dying sun of dusk took her breath away.

 

The cold but slightly moistened salty tasting air beat against her skin, kissing away the drops of sweat that clutched onto her forehead. Her bangs wavered in front of her eyes, back and forth, in the invisible path of the ocean breeze.

 

The sound of waves lapping the beach was almost soothing in the evanescing light. It was low tide, advancing so quietly toward the shoreline, and retrieving back into the depths of the waters in the same manner, leaving seashores and star fish lying in its wake.

 

“Come on.” Syaoran murmured softly, quietly; it was barely a whisper. The sound of the waves, the flapping sound when crests of the water waves met muffled his voice. He grabbed her hand unexpectedly. The contact startled her.

 

He slid his fingers through hers, touch light, only fingertips brushing, and the look suspended in his amber eyes made it hard for Sakura to swallow.

 

Sakura could feel the fatalistic beat of her heart and the cool brush of skin against skin. Those tingling feelings sparked her nerves, making her aware of the closeness between them. His skin was cold and a bit rough, but his palm was warm despite the pervasive coldness of the season.

 

She felt reassured, safe. The warmth from his palm passed down to her cold, numbed ones, like the gentle breeze of spring, he was bringing light, warmth, hopes into her world of blue and gray and everlasting winter of white.

 

Syaoran didn't hold a prolonged touch with anyone else, never before, didn't trail his fingers upward and stroke lightly against a lightly trembling wrist, all without a single amber-eyed glance. All the uneasiness from before was gone, replaced by a mutual understanding silence between them, pleasant and comfortable.

 

Perhaps this was what they called young love. The feeling of being wanted, of reassurance, spread throughout his body, passed through every single blood vessel in his body, sparked every nerve on the way to his heart, and caused his heart to pound excitedly in his ribcage like never before.

 

“You know,” he began suddenly, his voice soft and mild and soothing like the sound of the lazy wave that rolled back and forth. “I used to be alone when I was a child.” His eyes were gazing into the distance as they walked along the beach, wading their feet through the pebbled sand.

 

Their hands were linked together with occasional feather-light contact of fingertips, yet their eyes were set on elsewhere. Sight was overrated when there was touch, when there were quite echoes of even breathings in the resonating air, when there was his unique scent filling her nostrils.

 

So she listened, silently, obediently. She waited for him to go on, tell the story of his childhood that she never knew of. It wasn't often for him to share something personal with her, and she felt somewhat honored to be trusted by him.

 

“I never knew who my father was. He left before my birth.” Sakura's heart ached slightly upon hearing those words. She stole a quick glance at him from the corners of her eyes but saw his expression as calm as ever. No traces of bitterness or sadness what so ever, it was just as calm as ever as if he was narrating someone else's story.

 

“My mother gave birth to me, reluctantly though. But the elders encouraged her to bring me into this world even though it was shameful because the Li Clan needed an heir. My mother never married since then, and I was her only child.”

 

Sakura remained silent; she knew he didn't need her sympathies just like she didn't want his. Pities and mindless words of comfort could only worsen the bitterness. She could feel his hand growing a little colder as they continued to saunter along the pale gray colored beach.

 

“She was never around. I knew she was avoiding me but I didn't know why, until an elder told me that I looked too much like my father.” A hint of anger flashed in his eyes but it was gone as quickly as it surfaced as if it was never there in the first place. But Sakura caught it.

 

“She was an unfit mother; she hated me. She didn't give me the care that I needed, never gave me the attention that I deserved.” He licked his dried lower lip and went on.

 

“I wasn't allowed to play with kids around my age because I was different; I had obligations that needed to be fulfilled. I was the Li heir. My future was laid out in front of me, as bright as ever. I was better than those kids', or that was what the elders aid. But I knew they were just using me as puppet. It wasn't rocket science.”

 

“I hated the world back then. I thought it was unfair and that I was destined to be alone. Everyone stayed away from me because I was the Li Heir, until Hiro and Eriol came along.” A small smile appeared on his face right then; she could see the corner of his mouth lifting just ever so slightly. The distinction was subtle, but it was there nonetheless.

 

“They didn't care about my status. We grew really close and when we got into high school, we started a gang and had many other followers.” Black Wings, the name resonated in her mind as the image of those wild gang members riding on their motorcycles flashed before her eyes.

 

“I didn't think I could get away from my family status, from the past—my childhood. But I did.” He suddenly halted into a stop and cocked his head to the right to look at Sakura. He was so close to her that she could feel his warm, moistened breath beating against her sensitive skin.

 

She could see all the fine details of his ethereal features, the hints of hazel and reddish brown pigments in his amber eyes, and his thick lashes. Slightly startled, she felt herself paralyzed. She could not move, or turn away from him. She was gravitated toward him, and the strength of attraction was growing stronger by the passing seconds.

 

“The only way to be happy and to escape the shadow of your past is to open up your heart, and stop pushing away the people who care about you.” Their eyes were locked in an intensive gaze and he looked meaningfully at her as if he was trying to pass down a deeper message than that.

 

“The past isn't important, it is the future that you need to focus on.”

 

Sakura's breath hitched; her heart skipped a beat. The strings and metal chains that pinned her to the wall--to the past, were slowly loosening their grips. The evanescing dying hope in her dead heart was revived.

 

Before, being invisible and unnoticeable to the fast changing world was her wish. She didn't want to keep up with the fast changing world. She couldn't keep up with it, because she was still dwelling on her past. But now, it was different; she wanted a change.

 

Syaoran saw the inner struggles reflected in her lucid green eyes and knew she got the message he was trying to pass through. It would take a while for her to decide on what she wanted and if she was willing to take life into her own hands rather than waiting for the wheel of fortune to turn over.

 

He had been through similar struggles, but he managed to pull it through and he knew she could too. Tightening his grip on her hand, he grinned brightly as he pulled her forward. The orangey rays of the dying sun illuminated his face, bringing out the contours of his nose, lips, and eyes.

 

He looked breathtakingly handsome.

 

His messily cut bangs, like the finest golden threads, brushed against his eyebrows and eyes as he fastened his pace. Her legs stiffly responded and picked up their speed. She knew her speed was slowing him down, but he never let go, not even once.

 

Their hands were still linked firmly together.

 

She breathed unevenly again when those amber eyes lit on her, warm and full of promise of a better future. As if the ground beneath her feet was an illusion of concrete solid, as if she was flying over a field of dreams, as if she was drifting on the white puffy clouds in the ethereal sky, at that moment, she almost thought anything was possible.

 

A trail of footprints was left behind in their awake, but they were washed away easily by the lazy tide which rolled back and forth over the path they traveled, as if they had never been there in the first place. The past could be easily erased like those footprints if one let go of it, after all, the future held more importance.

 

The past already occurred and could not be changed, but the future was still yet to be molded by hands that fought to create a better future.

 

Sakura's lips curved into a faint, almost ghostly smile. She titled her head and let her gaze fall upon his flawless face. There, she saw her dark angel.

 

It was then inspiration struck her and she knew exactly what she should paint for the art contest, salvation.

 

Black wings spread out as he dived through the air, through the patches of clouds that were tinged slightly orange, and toward the dying sun.

 

The dark angel brought salvation to the lifeless world of gray and blue.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

a/n: oh well I actually managed to finish this chapter. It was the hardest thing to write, really. I was struggling with the flow of the story since I kind of forgot what I wrote in the previous chapters -sweatdrop-. But anyhow, I managed to find some inspiration and finished the chap. The story is coming to an end, with a few chapters to go (actually 5 more chapters). And there will be lots of actions in the next few chaps. So stay tuned everyone! Review and let me know how muchie you lub me! Buwahaha! Ahem anyhow. Review please?