Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Black Wings ❯ Chapter 18 ( Chapter 18 )

Edit (Saturday, September 23, 2006): Endless Sorrow, by Hamasaki Ayumi is going to be official theme song of Black Wings. It is a pretty old song but it conveys the relationship between Sakura and Syaoran. It focuses on Syaoran's feelings toward Sakura and the metaphorical “dark angel”. The Japanese lyrics is provided on my CCS fic-journal, as well as its English translation. The link where you can download it is there too, so check it out if you're interested. I apologize for the alerts many of you got for this story, ahem, `cause some idiot here (looks down at her feet in shame) messed up the chapter replace thing and chapter upload thing. I haven't been sleeping a lot lately, ahem, and I don't have the habit of double-checking things before I do something. Gomen ne everyone!

 

Black Wings

By: Aisaki Sumi

 

Chapter Eighteen

 

A paintbrush dipped into the liquid colors. The contact of its tip with the paint was so brief and light, like butterfly alighting on a leaf. The talented hand and tapered fingers guided the brush, creating powerful and beautiful imageries out of something so simple, and those images, could reach out to the soul of their beholder.

 

Suddenly, the artistic hand froze in mid air, with the soft tip of the paintbrush still pressed against the surface of the canvas. A pair of emerald green eyes stared at the canvas, looking down at the flawless creation without actually seeing it, as if staring into another dimension that others couldn't see.

 

Memories of a few weeks ago flashed in her mind, causing her pretty eyebrows to furrow into a deep frown. She somehow fell asleep under a cherry blossom tree in a remote area at the back of Tomoeda Heights, and dreamt of her past that chased after her like the dark shadow of a hooded demon.

 

All those frightful moments, bloody scenes, frantic heartbeats that grew louder by the passing seconds, and the poisonous air of death and fear that caused her to choke, sucking the life out of her slowly. She didn't want to remember them.

 

But just when she had no where to run, and when she felt it was the end, an assuring rumbling deep voice chased away the mists of loneliness, death, and eternal darkness that seemed to creep out of everywhere. She felt a strong hand grasping onto her shoulder, holding her tightly in a warm embrace.

 

It was him, that constantly grinning boy with messy chestnut hair. His smile, like the sun, slowly melted away the ice in her heart. His touch, like the gentle wind of spring, blew new life into her lifeless body that used to be an empty shell. And his aura, so comforting, offered her protection.

 

But was she willing to trust again? Was she willing to let her scarred, almost dead heart to love again? She didn't know; she didn't want to know.

 

She had been attempting to avoid him in the past few weeks, because she didn't want to face the embarrassment of awakening in his arms. But her plan failed miserably since he seemed to pop out of everywhere.

 

The way he looked down at her, was so much different from before. Those endless ambers drew her in, they reflected love and faint sadness. And time—as if put on pause, the world stopped spinning; all motions were frozen in place.

 

In his eyes, she saw her own reflection: a lost, fragile and confused girl. All her layers of pretense; all her tough acts were stripped away from her face, revealing the real her—someone who didn't want to be left alone, someone who wanted a strong shoulder to lean on.

 

She always told herself that she was meant to be alone, and that she didn't need anyone because she was tough and could handle the pains on her own. As a result, she pushed away everyone around her ever since her mother's death, because she didn't want to hurt them anymore than she already did.

 

Her brother was forever in a coma because he saved her from the speeding car. Her mother committed suicide because she blamed herself for Sakura's unhappiness. Her father took up another job on the weekend to make enough money to save money for her university tuition fee. All those who loved her ended up suffering and perpetually living in the grays.

 

That was why she started to isolate herself in solitary, that was why she stopped speaking, and that was why she turned to painting in her room endlessly. She didn't want to hurt others, and she didn't want to hurt herself. Her heart was too broken to love and trust again.

 

But then he came along, a boy who represented the sun; a boy who was a symbol of passion and spring. Everyone at Tomoeda Heights idolized him, crowned him as their leader, their prince. He was the knight in shiny armors in girls' eyes, and the guys perceived him as a true samurai.

 

They all fought for his attentions, but he never looked at them. Instead, he turned his wolf-like amber eyes on her.

 

Why me? She once asked him, just out of sheer curiosity.

 

And he said, smiling brightly: because I'm gravitated towards you.

 

It was just a coincidence, a simple brush of shoulders, an unlikely meeting, and what it was meant to be couldn't be far from the actual reality.

 

He was a wild gang leader, a representation of hope and passion. He was the reincarnation of the God of Sun, Apollo. And she was a quiet painter, distant and aloof, the goddess of winter. Their lives used to be two parallel lines, destined to never meet. But somehow, their paths crossed, defying God and Destiny and laws of physics.

 

“Are you…really my dark angel?” She mumbled out unsurely, whispering softly to the wind that whirled by so soundlessly, carrying that question miles away until it reached the ears of her dark angel.

 

“Of course I am, Sakura-chan.” A familiar teasing voice came from somewhere above her and Sakura tilted her head immediately. There, she saw a grinning handsome face and soft chestnut hair that wavered under the sun, reminding her so much of the finest golden threads.

 

“I didn't know you come here on Sundays.” Syaoran commented, his tone carrying faint traces of amusement and surprise. He watched her looking away, the familiar expression of indignation creeping back to her usually expressionless face. It made him feel triumphant as the only who could change that seemingly expressionless doll face of hers.

 

“There are many things you don't know, ouji-sama.” The quiet, monotonic, but sarcastic reply that was meant to be offensive, yet it only widened the smile on Syaoran's face.

 

His hard work was finally paying off.

 

A few months ago, Sakura would not even talk to him. She only started giving him one word answers a month ago when he bugged her whenever he could. And now, she was even retorting him, and this made him felt accomplished.

 

Sakura always liked to call him `oujisama' (prince) when his presence annoyed her. It was the supposedly “honourable” name, given by his official fan club at Tomoeda Heights. When Eriol called him by that nickname, he would bunch that pretty face of Eriol's hard without giving a second thought. But when she called him that, he only felt contentment.

 

Ever since the “nightmare” incident, he had been trying hard to keep Sakura away from those thoughts. He didn't know what she had experienced in the past that caused her such severe psychological traumas, but he was determined to help her, and be that dark angel in her life.

 

Just the other day, Eriol teased him about how he was falling in love with Sakura, the mysterious girl who managed to capture his attention. And surprisingly, he didn't deny it. Truthfully, Syaoran had been thinking a lot about his feelings lately, because he wasn't like others, trying to run away from his feelings.

 

Instead, Syaoran confronted them, and recognized the change that “mere interest” had undergone. At first it was purely attraction, because he had never seen a girl like her before. After he started to hang out with her more, he discovered all kinds of tiny things about her.

 

The feeling of wanting to protect her, to help her, grew stronger by the passing seconds, and before he knew, it was already too late because he fell hard for her. And now, all he wanted to do was to find out more about her. He wanted to get to know her on a whole different level.

 

At the same time, she was slowly changing him, as strange as that may sound.

 

She inspired him into expressing the thoughts that he couldn't express with words. She showed him the beauty in simple everyday objects that he never noticed before, through the simple task of sketching.

 

Syaoran used to think art was for boring people only and that it was meaningless, but how, arts was beginning to turn into his second favorite subject.

 

It was all because of her, and he had never felt so strongly about anyone before as he did about her.

 

But did she feel the same way about him? Would she ever feel the same way about him?

 

He didn't want to think about it.

 

Right now, just being by her side was enough for him.

 

“What are you doing here anyway, with all those displays of your artwork?” Syaoran eyed the various paintings scattered on the shriveled grass. Many passing by strangers gave them a quick glance and rushed on with their life. None ever attempted to stop by and give those paintings their deserved attention.

 

And this made Syaoran frown.

 

“It's exactly what it looks like.” Sakura answered lackadaisically, treating the situation with indifference as if she was used to it. The truth was, Sakura came here every weekend to paint, while at the same time, selling her finished work to make some money for her university tuition.

 

She didn't want to place the burden on her aged father.

 

After all, she thought of herself as an independent young woman who could support herself. However, the money she made from selling her artwork was almost too little to even count as her “weekly income”. She thought about getting a job at the Tomoeda Bakery, but she wasn't great at interacting with people.

 

Drawing, painting in tranquility was all she was good at.

 

“You're selling your work.” Syaoran concluded slowly, with his throat tight. The lone statement hung in the air, and the silence was like a curtain draped about the room, with no one to disturb its thick, oppressive fold. His sharp amber eyes shifted away from the artworks on display and turned to Sakura.

 

“Why?” He questioned, his voice was no longer light and mild and faintly amused, it became hard and forceful as if he was trying to hold back something. “Why are you selling them?” He pressed on.

 

“Money.” The word rolled off the tip of her tongue easily with the same indifference she carried before, as if he was casually asking her about today's weather. She paused her moving hand that was shading the blue sky on the canvas before her, and whipped her head around to look at him in the eye as if the answer was obvious.

 

“If it's an emergency, and if you're in some kind of bad predicament, you can always ask me or your friend Tomoyo for help.”

 

Sakura's eyes narrowed slightly and turned her attention back to the canvas. “I don't need anyone's help. I'll make money on my own.” Syaoran could hear the iciness in those words even though her tone was soft and silent.

 

Of course, Sakura had her pride. She was a strong and independent girl. Unlike many other girls around her age, she preferred to depend on herself rather than on others. It was one thing he loved about her. Her toughness. But sometimes, she just had to realize that it was okay to ask her friends for help too.

 

Syaoran pulled out his cellphone and dialed Eriol's number. “Eriol, bring Hiro to Tomoeda Park A.S.A.P.” And hung up as soon as he heard the “hai” he wanted.

 

Sakura gave him a confused look and he just smiled at her, assuring her that it was nothing. As predicted, Sakura wasn't convinced, but she didn't press on the issue and went back to her work.

 

In a few minutes, Eriol and Hiro arrived with the engines of their motorcycles roaring like wild lions, drawing the attention of countless people. Sakura fought back the urgency to roll her eyes at their flashy arrival. They always did that, even at school, and the Black Wings Fan Club (lead by the popular cheerleader Arai Yumi) would squeal loudly.

 

“Yo.” Hiro waved a hand at Syaoran as he approached them with a snickering Eriol trailing lazily behind. His gaze swept across the paintings on the ground and frowned slightly. “And I thought something important came up, such as those bastards are bothering you again.”

 

Syaoran promptly ignored the jest in Hiro's tone and turned his attention to Eriol who was enjoying this a bit too much for his own good. “I called you guys here to help Sakura sell all those paintings. I want to see all of them bought by people in this park by dusk.” He said in an authoritarian voice.

 

“No problem, just leave it up to us.” Eriol assured, widening the smile on his face.

 

“I don't need your help.” defied the unhappy artist, and Eriol just chuckled since Syaoran obvious ignored Sakura's protests and cast Eriol a “you know what to do” look.

 

Eriol approached Sakura and asked nicely for a piece of paper and a pen. In a few minutes, he wrote “3 paintings for one kiss” in big bold letters and placed it beside the artworks.

 

Sakura looked at him as if he had two heads. Syaoran sent him a dry look as if he had expected it coming, knowing Eriol. And Hiro just slapped his forehead, groaning. “Not again.” It was the same tactic Eriol used the year before to sell all the cakes Meiling made for their school festival. With the help of Eriol's charms, those disgusting cakes were gone in a second.

 

“What is he doing?”

 

“Just leave it up to Eriol, he'll make it work.” Before Syaoran could finish his sentence, a bunch of girls who had been watching Eriol and Hiro since their arrival, rushed towards them and started to pick out the paintings they want.

 

“See?” Syaoran grinned at the shocked Sakura.

 

“While they're selling your paintings for you, I'll take you to this really great place where you'll feel like you've got nothing to worry about. You can take your sketchbook with you if you want.” Without waiting for a reply, Syaoran grabbed her hand and art kit and dragged her toward his motorcycle.

 

……

 

The violent gusts of chilly wintry wind howled in her ears, deafening her, while like a thousand needles, striking her cheeks and leaving almost invisible scratches behind. Holding tightly onto Syaoran's motorcycle's seat until her knuckles turned white, she refused to let the wind bring her down.

 

He offered her the chance to hold on to him, like he had done so many times before when she rode on his motorcycle. But she turned him down, because she was strong.

 

The noise of the engine roaring and the wind's endless bellows battered her eardrum to a point that she couldn't take the invasive sound anymore. Just when she wanted to let go and cover her ears, the motorcycle came into a stop. Sakura reopened her eyes and saw a smiling Syaoran holding out a hand to help her get off.

 

Like she had done so many times before, she ignored the helpful hand and got off shakily on her own. Taking off her helmet, she brushed aside the strands of hair that was getting into her eyes and turned to gaze at the source of the loud noise.

 

There, she was amazed by what she saw.

 

An enormous silvery plane sped down the runway like a powerful eagle. The faint sunlight that bounced off its wings gave it a blinding shine that caused Sakura to squint her eyes. The gigantic bird howled, announcing its powerful presence and shot into the air in a split of a second.

 

The dusts and wind left behind the airplane's trail blew against Sakura, tossing her hair into the air relentlessly. Her eyes followed the path of the silvery eagle in flight and watched it disappear into the pale blueness that stretched out from the horizons.

 

“Incredible isn't it?” Syaoran suddenly asked, speaking out for the speechless, highly amazed Sakura. “It feels like all your troubles and pains have been taken away by the wings of the airplane in flight as it flies towards the limitless sky. I come here a lot, whenever I feel crappy and let the planes take away my worries and stress.”

 

Sakura remained silent, listening to him revealing something personal about himself. At this moment, she realized how soft and soothing his voice was, perfect for storytelling. It made her feel as if the world was somehow perfect and wonderful.

 

“Just close your eyes and open up your arms, and forget about all your worries. Then watch the plane take off.” He instructed. She raised an eyebrow and turned to face him, but only to see a rare childish smile on his face. The smile had almost a purifying and enchanting affect on her, and she felt herself following his instructions unconciously.

 

Another plane was preparing for take off. Sakura closed her eyes and relaxed herself, feeling the cold gentle touches of the wintry breeze, like cool silk sliding across her skin. She thought hard of all her troubles--all those nightmares that haunted her, and then forced them away from her mind.

 

The plane was sliding down the runway, its engine's noises carried miles away on the careless wind. Take away my worries and fears. Sakura murmured repetitively in her heart and suddenly opened her eyes, just catching the moment when the plane opened up its wings and reached out for the sky high above.

 

All those weights placed upon her fragile shoulder seemed to have lifted magically. Sakura found it easier to breathe now, strangely enough.

 

The corners of her mouth lifted upward just slightly, revealing her first smile in six years. Even though the ghostly smile was barely noticeable, Syaoran still spotted it and felt him mesmerized by the sight of it.

 

She was no longer a lifeless porcelain doll, but a beautiful teenage girl. Her eyes were no longer cold and hollow and impenetrable, but carried a faint sparkle of life, of belief. Even though it was just for one short moment, Syaoran felt like he had found the real Sakura.

 

“You know, independency doesn't mean `keeping everything to yourself'. Someone who shares his or her problems with his or her friends doesn't make him or her not independent.” Syaoran stared into the distant pale blueness and said.

 

“Life is a long, arduous journey,” he continued on, while watching the clouds on adrift. “No one can walk down the road of life alone. Everyone needs a companion sometimes, and this doesn't make them weak or anything.”

 

It was rare to hear him speak so philosophically of things, and Sakura felt something stirring in her heart as she took a quick glance at him from the corners of her eyes.

 

Was he her companion on the road of life? Should she trust him? She wondered.

 

But there was no answer.

 

Perhaps the answer would reveal itself one day when the right time came. But for now, she just looked away and tilted her head towards the boundless sky, deeply lost in thoughts.

 

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A/N: Umm. Life has been hectic, and does not permit me to devote too much time into fanfic-writing. However, I will try update as often as possible to keep my stories on track `cause I'm beginning to forget what some of them are about. -sweatdrop-

 

Many mentioned how Sakura is portrayed as a weak girl, but if you read this story closely, you will find that underneath that deceptive appearance, she is actually a very strong and independent girl who believed she could take on the world by herself. It is one of the many admirable traits about her that captured Syaoran's attention.

 

Another thing, many talented artists are participating in the Black Wings fanart contest right now in my SxS Forum, Faded Dreams, and it'd be great if you guys can go there and check out those lovely artworks, and nominate the one that you think that is the most suitable for this story, because I'm considering using one of them as the cover of this completed novel. The contest is still open however, until the end of this story, and I will announce the winner in the finale of this fanfic.

 

This story is actually coming to an end, with only 6 or 7 more chapters to go. Really, it may seem a lot, but it's actually not, comparing to how many chapters this story has so far. I personally think this chappie shows the development of their umm rather strange relationship, and I made Syaoran realize that he's in love with Sakura.

 

I didn't want to rush into that at first, because it would be too unrealistic that way. The love developed this way is more mature and strong, and can withstand more than the “love at first sight” kind of thing that you see in many other fanfics. Sorry if the romance is slow, but I like to keep things as realistic as possible because I believe a good story has to reach out to its audience, reflect the things they experience in life rather than creating this fairytale world where the princess meets the prince and they lived happily ever after.

 

Okay I'm really rambling here.

 

Lastly (I'll keep this short, I promise), I wanna give a big hug to all those who have supported me in the past 17 chaps and those who put up with my laziness. Thank you guys for taking the time to leave a review behind. It's great to receive feedbacks from readers, because they allow me to see how people perceive my story. Reviews always make my day. -hands out hearts-

 

Review everyone! And I'll shut up now before I take up another page. -SMILES-