Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Through A Looking Glass ƽ��Ι��Z ❯ Everything, but really nothing at all ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Through A Looking Glass

By: Aisaki Sumi

Chapter Three

Everything, but really nothing at all

Other withered stumps of time
Were told upon the walls; staring forms

Heian Jidai - Heian Period, 1179, Autumn, Heian-Kyo

Sakura sat still in the bridal sedan with her face covered by a white hood made up of pure silk called “Tsuno Kakushi”, which was worn to cover the bride's “horns” and thus showing her obedience to her new husband.

Her expression was solemn as she waited and waited for the dreary commencement of her wedding ceremonies. Her fingers itched for something to hold on to. The white material that blocked her vision was irking her to no end, especially the meaning behind such practice.

Women's obedience to men…

She gnawed the corner of her mouth, furrowing her eyebrows. The haunting words echoed in her head like the never-ending monotonic chants of the monks. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly for a brief moment, she inhaled deeply to settle down the arising anger in her heart.

Endurance and tolerance—two basic requirements she must satisfy in order to accomplish something greater. Recollecting herself, her breathing became even and soundless again as she kept her eyes closed as if she was meditating.

“Miss Saku-Saku…ra, you haven't eaten anything since last night…” the young girl sitting beside her stammered with worries written all over her face. Her voice was soft and quiet as if anything louder than a bare whisper was considered as imprudent.

“Miyuki, remember what I told you yesterday. I am Sakuno now.” Sakura reprimanded; her eyes half open as she glanced at the girl named Miyuki.

Miyuki was her maid, young, naïve but undoubtedly loyal at heart. She had a slightly round face and delicate features and a pair of beautiful green eyes, and soft auburn hair. She sometimes wondered if they were lost sisters of some sort.

“Sakura never existed. Kinomoto Fujitaka only has one daughter in this world, and that is me, Kinomoto Sakuno.” She added with an implicit cold bitterness in her voice.

Sakura never existed…never existed…

Miyuki's eyes became slightly watery but she fought back the tears because she knew Miss Sakura didn't like it when she cried. Crying is a sign of a woman's ultimate weakness. In the game of survival of the fittest, any exposed weaknesses can be the end of you.

She memorized every single word Miss Sakura had told her. Wiping away the tear that was trailing down the corner of her eyes silently, she straightened up herself and saddened eyes fell upon Sakura's beautiful face which was now covered in excessively heavy make up and hidden behind that white hood.

She didn't understand the reason behind Miss Sakura's actions, covering up her beautiful face with superfluous amount of white power. And ridiculously red blushes applied to her cheeks appeared like blood droplets onto freshly fallen snow.

Miss Sakura's beautiful complexion had been masked completely.

Perhaps she was still a bit too young to understand the complexity of Miss Sakura's tactical mind, her craftiness and firm decisions. She was only fourteen years old after all - still at the stage of where dreams of flying toward the sun with waxed wings were possible.

But Miss Sakura said the world was a dark place, only the ones who were strong, suppressive and ruthless could rise to the top. One must know when to be kind and when to be heartless, because if you aren't harsh and resolute about what you need to do, someone will eliminate you in a blink of an eye.

Hesitation is a weakness. When it comes down to eliminating your opponents who had threatened your survival or benefit in any way, you must to be quick and doubtless of the morality of your actions. Never doubt yourself, never hesitate, do it and get it over with.

The imperial court - a seemingly just place - was actually embraced by conspiracies and lies. Diplomats, generals, princes from the royal family plot against each other cunningly and strife for the position which held the most power.

The lust for power, for control occupied men's heart and awoken the beast in them that desired for more and more. In order to gain a place in their world, Miss Sakura had said, she had to be like them. She needed to be better than them.

It frightened her to know that Miss Sakura was intending on entering a dangerous place such as that. She had always been taught that women shouldn't interfere with men's politics. Miyuki didn't care about power or anything like that. She just wanted Miss Sakura to be safe and sound and happy.

But she knew once Miss Sakura had made her decision no one could change it, not even Lady Nadeshiko. Miyuki would not attempt to sway her, because it would be ultra vires. Whatever Miss Sakura was planning to do, she would always be there to back her up.

Miyuki had vowed long ago that she would serve Miss Sakura for the rest of her life, through thick and thin, through rich and poor. Her life was saved by Miss Sakura and she could only devote her entire life to her because it was the only way she could thank her.

The first time she met Miss Sakura was about eight years ago. She used to be a poor merchant's daughter. One day, when she and her father were traveling to Nara, they were attacked by a gang of thieves. Her father was killed when he tried to distract the thieves so she could run for her life.

She ran and ran, hid in the deep forest for days until she was truly safe again. Hungry and exhausted she was, she never stopped walking, never looked back. Run and don't ever look back, were her father's last words and she would remember it perpetually, until the end of time.

Miyuki waded through the forest, the fields of flowers and entered the prosperous capital city of Japan, Heian-Kyo. Because she went on days without any food, her body reached its limit and she collapsed on the side walk.

Apathetic people strolled right past her without ever sparing a single glance. No one would care if a poor beggar looking girl with torn clothes and dirt all over her face and body died.

When she closed her eyes and prepared herself for death, an unearthly beautiful goddess from heaven approached her and handed her a nigiri (rice ball). Tears were filling in her eyes as she took it and wolfed it down.

When she looked up to thank the goddess, she saw a warm smile on the goddess's face. Poor child, here, take my hand. Soft whispers and an enchanting voice, Miyuki handed her dirty little hand to the goddess and felt a pervasive warmth encompassing her cold hand.

My name is Sakura, Kinomoto Sakura. She said, and Miyuki was mesmerized. Under the overlapping white rays of the sun, the divine goddess looked so unreal and for a fleeting moment there, Miyuki was almost certain that this was just a dream.

But it wasn't. It was reality. Miss Sakura, beautiful and pure, like the underwater curls in the sea, took her into the Kinomoto household and gave her a job as a servant girl.

But it was good enough for her. Miss Sakura gave her hopes again, and taught her many things that she never knew before. Even though their statuses were enormously different, Miss Sakura still treated her like a young sister.

From that moment on, she vowed that she would serve Miss Sakura until her last breath. She would carry this loyalty with her to her grave and if she died one day for Miss Sakura, she would have no regret.

Today was Miss Sakura's wedding day. She was the only servant girl Miss Sakura brought with her to the Taira household. It made her feel special and honored, but also sad at the same time. She knew Miss Sakura was being badly treated in the Kinomoto household while Miss Sakuno was the center of everyone's love and attention.

Inside the part of the Kinomoto compound which Miss Sakura lived with Lady Nadeshiko, she was the only servant they had, while Miss Sakuno and her mother had ten or even more servants in their large, luxurious part of the large compound.

It wasn't fair, she told herself, because Miss Sakuno was a spoiled brat who was selfish and inconsiderate of the others, the exact opposite of Miss Sakura. But only she knew how talented, beautiful, witty and kind Miss Sakura was. Whenever she complained about such unfairness, Miss Sakura would only smile faintly and pat her head gently.

Some things are better to be kept silent. Always think before you speak, Miyuki. Because if you're not careful, someday you might have to pay for what you say.

Miyuki knew she was talking about the servants working for Miss Sakuno. A low life servant girl like her wasn't allowed to badmouth the ladies she served. If she was ever caught doing such a disrespectable act, she could be put to death.

Miss Sakura said mildly. Sometimes silence is better, because no one would be able to know what you're thinking. Thus, they can't pick out anything that could incriminate you in any way.

Miyuki sighed silently and looked out of the window on the bridal sedan through the tiny gap between the two pieces of silky curtains that draped over the window. There, she caught a glimpse of a handsome young man with messy chestnut hair.

But she soon realized who he was when her eyes traveled down from his face to his clothes. The groom's black kimono. He must be Taira no Syaoran, the famous and well-respected Taira no Kiyomori's fifth son, the emperor's current favorite minister in the Imperial Court. Miyuki thought to herself.

Only a man like him could match Miss Sakura.

……

Time passed by like the water flowing in a river, perpetually in motion unless acted upon by an external force or factor of some sort.

Sakura sat on the edge of the wooden ramp that extended out from the Li compound, a venerable structure that seemed to exist outside the trappings of time. She gazed at the soft glow of the lanterns that swung rhythmically back and forth on wrought-iron pegs that were shaped like vines.

The gentle wind that whirled silently by rustled her long auburn hair, sending the ends fluttering upward and swaying in its invisible path. Sakura took a deep breath, relaxing her tense and exhausted muscles. The refreshingly minty air filled her lungs. She let it out slowly, savoring the moment.

The sky was a rich shade of indigo mixed with a darkened blue color, like a refined, ebony silk dappled with stars. It was breathtakingly beautiful. It had been a long exhausting day. All the procedures of the wedding ceremony were long and strenuous and she pondered how could anyone want to ever get married after seeing this long process?

She kept her head down throughout the entire wedding. People thought she was shy and obedient and praised her for being the ideal wife for Syaoran. But she did it for a different reason. She didn't want anyone to see her face, which explained the reason behind the heavy make up.

Miyuki asked her if she had seen her husband yet during the short time span given to her to change into her second wedding kimono designed for the feast part of the wedding. And she shook her head. She just wasn't interested in it.

She didn't care about how he looked like or what he was like. All she needed from him was his power and the title of Taira no Syaoran's wife.

The voices of their guests, whom she had never even met before, had begun to taper as the night wore on, one by one sending their wishes for an eternity of happiness for the newly wedded couple. Many started departing for the comfort of their own homes, ready to call it a night.

It had certainly been a long tiring day. The celebration in honor of her wedding spanned the entirety of the afternoon and then carried well into the evening hours. The air was saturated with laughers and regards to the newly wedded couples.

But she knew those words were simply meaningless flatteries. Not that she minded any of them since she took none to heart.

Her fingers brushed through her auburn hair that cascaded like a silk waterfall over her shoulders, so elegant and divine, holding a certain degree of enigma in it. The silky locks slid pass her fingertips as she tilted her head backward and stared into the sky.

She removed the heavy, ornate hair pin that held her long hair in place and left it abandoned by her hand that rested on the cold wooden surface of the ramp. A small smile of satisfaction formed on her lips as she remembered the first the he said to her when they were alone in their new room together.

“I can give you anything, anything but love.” That deep voice was powerful and sounded as if it was rumbling out of the core of the earth. He kept his voice steady when he made his offer. But she caught a hint of guilt and sadness in his words.

Could it be that he loved someone else?

Regardless what the answer was, she didn't mind. It was none of her business who he chooses to fall in love with. She needed his power, not love. And he said she could have anything she wanted…and that was good enough for her.

Chuckling lightly, she threw her head back and stared once more at the tiny, brilliant dots that lighted the night sky. She didn't see the moon. Nonetheless, it made her feel insignificantly small, looking up at the vast universe that lay beyond her reach.

One day, it would all change. One day, she would get to the top.

For sure.

……

“I understand.” Her reply was curt and simple, yet so concise and revealed so much of her collectiveness. He thought she would break down when he told her that he could never love her, but she didn't, and remained surprisingly calm when she received the news from him.

The casual and nonchalant way she took it made him blink blankly at her. She always had her head low and held her graceful composure. It was hard to see her features with the overwhelmingly thick white powder layer on her face.

A part of him really wanted to see what kind of girl could have such imperturbability, but a part of him told himself that it wasn't any of his business. Their marriage was just a deal involved money and political power. The Kinomoto family wanted a strong back up for their business. The Taira family needed a long term substantial source of money to maintain their luxurious life (aside from the salaries given by the Emperor).

All he had to do was to fulfill her wishes such as buying her expensive gifts and clothes so she would report back to her father that her life at their household was great. And then let her have a son to secure her place as his official wife in a year or two.

Syaoran lowered his head, looking down at the darkened floor. He felt himself pressing all of his weight against the closed sliding doors. For now, he proposed that they sleep in separate rooms so she could live her life the way she wanted to and he could do the same with his.

And once again, she nodded in comprehension. He wasn't sure if she was truly obedient to him or she simply didn't care about their marriage. But either way, he liked the way she handled things. It left him with less trouble to deal with anyway.

The small window down the corridor was left open. Some streaks of light from the lantern hanging outside of the window stretched out on the wooden floor. The light bounced off the ground and gave it a slightly orangey tint, a soft glimmer.

He slowly made his way down the dark corridor, the dark mists of the night encompassing him.

I'll give you anything, anything but love.

I understand.

Two short phrases defined their relationship. Everything to them was just a deal. But soon, things would change…

a.n.: please pay attention to the year and the dates, when reading a historical story it is always good to keep on track the dates n' stuff. Plots, conspiracies, schemes, and power struggles are at the heart of this story, but along with a woman's struggles to rise to the top in a world dominated by men. I know it's probably not original to have a woman challenging the traditions passed down from generations to generations. But it will be original when it comes to HOW she's going to do it. Hope y'all are having a good time reading this story cuz things are just beginning.

I love incorporating history into fictions, and I'm really enjoying myself writing this story. Kinda like a nice break from all the superfluous modern teenage blah blah stuff on this site. I have another historical romance story in mind after I finish writing this one and I'll let you guys on the details of that story after I've completed this one.

Chapter completion: Jan. 1, 2006

Wanted: beta-editor (must be a grammar Nazi! XD)

Reviews equal a quicker update. It's a sweet deal pplz! So hurry up and review! (wow…I sound like one of those retail ppl on boxing day XD except we're working on a different kinda deal here lolz)

Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Through A Looking Glass ƽ�����Ι����Z ❯ Everything, but really nothing at all ( Chapter 3 )

Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Through A Looking Glass ƽ��Ι��Z ❯ Everything, but really nothing at all ( Chapter 3 )