Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ Be Careful For What You Wish For ❯ Roshi's Day At The Mall ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

BE CAREFUL FOR WHAT YOU WISH FOR

DBZ Disclaimer: I, of course do not own any characters or things in DragonballZ, except for Candy Apple, who is exclusively my character.

(This occurs one year after Goku defeats Majin Buu. This is a Master Roshi (Kamesennin for non-dub fans) story. Master Roshi is a pervert, as we all know, but deep down, he is a bit lonely, even with all the people living with him. He does want a woman to love, someone to accept him for who he is, but his being a dirty old man drives women away. After he hears Juuhachigou (Android Eighteen) read "Pygmalion and Galatea" to her daughter, Marron, an idea comes to him. He is able to implement his plan when Krillin gives him money and asks him to go to the nearest mall to buy Marron a "Candy Apple Fashion Doll" for her fifth birthday…)

Chapter One: Roshi's Day At The Mall

"I find it odd that an old man would be interested in buying himself a 'Candy Apple' fashion doll." Oolong said to Roshi, while at the same time ogling the beautiful teen girls wandering about the Satan City Mall. He, Roshi, and Umigame were shopping for a 'Candy Apple' doll as a surprise for Marron's fifth birthday. Krillin had been helping his wife, Juuhachigou prepare for their daughter's birthday party, and he had asked Roshi earlier that day, if he would pick up the 'Candy Apple' doll.

"Yeah," Roshi's turtle best friend agreed. "But then, he can't buy anymore inflatable dolls," Umigame told Oolong. "That adult store, 'Sex Toys Story' had him permanently banned."

"That's not my fault!" Roshi wailed. "How was I supposed to know that that nice set of bikini-clad boobs sitting on the counter were real? All of those leather masks were blocking her face, and the boobs didn't feel real at first! I thought that nice chest would make a nice knickknack for my nightstand."

"Well, he does have a point there," Oolong agreed. "The boobs were fake, sort of anyway, for that girl was wearing a water bra. I think she was more upset over Roshi popping her water bra than anything else."

"Well, that's going to cut down on Master Roshi's porn magazines for a while," Umigame said, not without some relief. "Sex Toys Story had some magazines there that even he couldn't get through the mail."

"Quiet, you two!" Roshi ordered, looking at the numerous fashion dolls on the shelves in the toy store, named the Toy Chest. "Krillin asked me to buy his little girl a 'Candy Apple' doll, and that's what I'm going to do. Only, I'm going to buy an extra one for me."

"Old man, why do you want a doll? Even you can't be that desperate, considering the doll is only ten inches tall. You have plenty of women to look at in those magazines that you still order-oh, by the way, can I borrow your new issue of 'Playthings'?" Oolong asked him.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, just don't ruin the centerfold, okay?" Roshi said, looking at a "Candy Apple For President" doll, dressed in a prim, yet feminine pink suit and pillbox hat. "You know now that I think about it, boys, that centerfold does look a lot like these Candy Apple dolls."

"I agree," Oolong said, with a low wolf whistle, looking at a "Candy Apple The College Cheerleader" doll. "Look at this one, decked out in a halter top and short, short skirt. These dolls are babes, I'll admit."

"They are all the same girl," Umigame pointed out to both of them, but even the fashion dolls fascinated him, much to his own embarrassment.

Candy Apple was the newest Barbie rip-off, only just as popular. Candy Apple had candy-apple red hair, emerald-green eyes, a bosom that would have been a C cup, had she been life-size, a perfect hourglass figure and slender shapely limbs. She had a cute, pointed nose and rosebud lips. Candy Apple dolls came in many occupations, ranging from President to Queen to even soldiers and warrior princesses. For a couple of weeks, there had even been a "Candy Apple The Hooker" doll, but that had been quickly pulled from the toy shelves, since many mothers of little girls complained, not only because of the bad influence the dolls would have had on their children, but because their husbands had insisted on buying the hooker dolls for themselves…

Nevertheless, Candy Apple was a newcomer, and the most popular toy among little girls to come out this year. When Marron had seen some of the Candy Apple dolls that her friends had, she had been delighted, and she, of course, wanted one. Krillin had specifically asked Roshi to buy any Candy Apple doll, plus the Candy Apple Dream Mansion that included all of the trimmings, from a real working mini-Jacuzzi, to a three-car garage. And then, he asked Roshi to pick out at least ten Candy Apple doll outfits, but none too revealing or sexy, or Juuhachigou would have Krillin's head.

Finally, after much discussion between Roshi and Oolong (and Roshi's disappointment that the Candy Apple Hooker Doll was no longer available, except on eBay), they chose for Marron a "Candy Apple The Academy Award Winner" doll, with Candy Apple wearing a long, glittering lavender dress, with a slit cut up on the side and silver slippers. She was also holding a miniature Oscar trophy in her hand. Her trademark 'I am always a winner' smile was on her lovely face.

"Now one for myself," Roshi said triumphantly, after picking out all of Candy Apple's accessories for Marron's doll.

"Why again do you want a Candy Apple doll, old man?" Oolong asked, now impatient to leave, for he had a seen a lovely African-American girl that he wanted to hit on walk out of the store.

Roshi smiled devilishly. "Have you and Umigame ever heard of the story, 'Pygmalion and Galatea'."

"I have," Umigame said positively. He loved to read, especially Greek mythology.

"I've never heard of it," Oolong admitted, looking longingly at that beautiful black girl walking over to The Bookshelf, a popular bookstore.

"Well, Pygmalion was a sculptor," Roshi explained. "I heard Juuhachigou read the story to Marron last night. Pygmalion fell in love with this beautiful statue of a woman that he had carved himself. He was so in love with her, that Venus, the Goddess of Love, made the statue real, and so 'Galatea' fell in love with her creator, and they lived happily ever after."

"What does that story have to do with Candy Apple?" Oolong wanted to know, desperate to leave, so he could make a move on the black girl at The Bookshelf.

"Maybe he's planning on sculpting a statue of her himself," Umigame theorized.

"Oh, no, he is not taking up sculpting again!" Oolong declared, agitated. "The last time he took up sculpting, he managed to chop off his entire hand, trying to sculpt a replica of a girl in a centerfold!"

"I only chopped off three fingers, you idiot!" Roshi declared indignantly. "And it wasn't a centerfold that I was trying to sculpt, it was Bulma!" He looked at his once maimed hand, fully and barely restored.

"Ah yes, I remember that incident," Umigame said, with a small snicker. "It wouldn't have been so bad, Master Roshi, but that picture of Bulma that you were sculpting was completely nude."

"Yeah, now I remember!" Oolong declared, with a full snicker. "He didn't lose his entire hand to his tools; he lost the rest of his hand because Vegeta found out that he not only had a nude picture of Bulma, but that he was trying to sculpt Bulma being completely naked. That was when the old man lost the rest of his hand because Vegeta blasted it off! We had to wait three months for the Dragonballs to be restored, so that we could restore his hand."

"And Roshi finally learned his lesson and hadn't touched Bulma since," Umigame said. "He's even afraid to look at her these days."

"I am not, Umigame!" Roshi roared.

"Yeah, as long as Vegeta's not nearby," Oolong snickered again.

"Anyway," Roshi said pointedly, determined to change the subject. "I am going to be Pygmalion, and Candy Apple will be my Galatea."

Oolong and Umigame were mutually puzzled. "Explain that again, old man," Oolong told his old friend.

"We are going to gather all of the Dragonballs together, so that I can wish a Candy Apple doll to come to life, full size, and be my girlfriend!" Roshi announced finally.

Oolong and Umigame both fell over backwards, crashing into the display of Candy Apple dolls. The employees of The Toy Chest came rushing to their aid, and Master Roshi found the doll that he wanted amidst the mess.

"I found my woman!" he cried happily, picking up a "Candy Apple Warrior Princess" doll. She was dressed in an apple-green fighting gi and lavender obi, with a kanji on her chest. "I found the woman of my dreams!"

Now it was the employees' turn to fall over backwards.