Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Second Chance ❯ Realizations ( Chapter 8 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

~Ellery~

My father returned a short time after Goten had woken up. He was bruised up and his clothes were torn, and I didn’t really know why. Maybe he and Kakarot got into a fight.

Goten was extremely excited about his transformation and immediately started testing his new senses and strengths.

“The boy is out in the gravity chamber if you want a good spar.” Vegeta said, speaking to Goten without looking at him. Goten ran upstairs and outside once Vegeta finished his sentence.

“You look like hell, Vegeta.” Bulma said, looking her husband up and down.

His gaze connected to his wife’s. “I told Kakarot what he didn’t want to hear.”

Bulma’s eyes widened. “What did you say to him, Vegeta?”

“I told him that he needed to stop dwelling on the past. I didn’t hurt anything more than his feelings. He needs to learn that what’s done is done.”

Bulma looked angry. “You didn’t bring up Chi, did you?”

He chuckled. “Of course I did. He’s being a hypocrite. He was dead for so long and expected people to just move on like it never happened.”

“Oh, Vegeta, Goku is hurting. You know that. Why are you being so mean to him?”

“I’’m not. I’m telling him the truth. None of you can seem to do that. He’s acting like a child. No amount of blubbering is going to bring the harpy back. He needs to either accept that or go back to Otherworld.” Vegeta wouldn’t look at his wife. I knew he was just giving Kakarot some tough love, but I didn’t understand how he could be so blunt with him when Kakarot was such a gentle creature.

“Vegeta, you’re not seriously suggesting that he go and die just to be with Chi. You wouldn’t suggest that.” Bulma said, her words pointed, and she was obviously very angry. I couldn’t blame her. Kakarot, though he was a bit of an airhead at times, he was a very sensitive creature and he needed support.

“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting, because I know he wouldn’t do it. That gives him one option. He has to move on.”

Bulma’s face dropped, more like she was sad than angry. “He’s just having such a hard time with it.”

“He doesn’t miss her as much as he misses having the company. I think he understands that now.” Vegeta said, turning away from her and looking at me. “He’ll be in a piss-poor mood when he returns, I’d suggest not pushing him.”

“I can protect myself, Vegeta.” I said, crossing my arms and returning his glare.

“I’m very aware of that, Ellery. All I’m saying is that he’s going to be easily angered, and I don’t want him to say something he’d regret, or that you would regret.” Without another word, Vegeta walked up the stairs.

I looked over at Bulma. “I’m sorry for the way he’s been acting since Kakarot has been staying here.”

Bulma shrugged, clearing off her counter. “I’m kind of use to it at this point. I’ve been married to him for a little under two decades, remember?”

I nodded, but my attention turned elsewhere as I felt Kakarot’s ki coming quickly toward Capsule Corps. He was powered up, and I didn’t know why. Maybe he was coming after Vegeta for round two.

Bulma sensed it too and we both were up the stairs and outside in seconds. I saw that Kakarot had landed, and was slowly walking toward the house. His power level had dropped significantly and he walked right past us, ignoring that we were even there.

“Goku?” Bulma called after him.

He paused, turning back towards us. His eyes were narrow, like he was angry. “I’m sorry, Bulma. Hello, I would just like to be alone for a few minutes. I will be down once I’m ready.” He turned away and walked back toward the house, walking inside and closing the door lightly behind him.

“Vegeta must have done a number on him. I’ve never seen Goku so distant.” Bulma shifted uncomfortably. “Do you think he’ll be okay?”

Bulma was obviously just as bewildered as I was. I'd never heard of Kakarot acting this way. Normally, he was an oblivious, cheery person. Now, it was like Vegeta had destroyed something inside of him.

"Damn it. Why did Vegeta have to go and be an ass about it?" I asked myself, walking into the house. I knew Kakarot didn't want to talk to me, but I would make him talk if it was the last thing I did.

I got to his door and opened it without knocking. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking down at his hands, obviously stuck in thought. He didn't look up at me.

"Kakarot." I said, trying to get his attention.

"I told you that I wanted to be alone." His voice was sharp, but quiet.

"You did, but I won't have you acting this way."

His eyes darted up to match my gaze. "What are your intentions for me, Ellery?”

The question caught me off guard and I wasn’t sure how to answer. “My intentions?”

Kakarot chuckled for a moment, but then his face shifted to look more angry than anything. “Yes, like what are you expecting from me? What are you planning?”

My breathing caught in my chest. “I don’t know. I guess I should be asking you that question. I won’t push you into something that you aren’t comfortable with.”

“How soon are you looking to have children?” Kakarot asked, his voice raising a bit in frustration.

My face flushed. I wasn’t expecting this, and I knew that he was basically asking how long he had until we would start having sex. “I can’t get pregnant until I go into heat next. Saiyan women can only get pregnant during those times.”

Kakarot nodded. “So, how soon is that?”

“I don’t know exactly how soon, but we don’t have to rush. I’m not expecting to jump right into having kids.” I said, trying to clarify everything for him.

He sighed. “I just want to know what you want. I feel like it’s pointless to wait if you just want children from this.”

I felt my eyes widen. “That’s not what I’m saying, Kakarot.”

“That’s what you told me you wanted when you first came here. You told me that you wanted children, and you didn’t care if it extended further or not.”

I swallowed. “I know, but I’ve changed my mind. Maybe I want you to stay around. I’ve come to care about you.”

“You’ve only known me for a few days.”

I hesitated a moment. “Saiyans can meet and be mated within hours. We know when we find what we want in a mate. We aren’t like humans.”

“So, what is it that you like about me? Why is it so sudden, and why is your father making me feel like garbage for taking this slowly?”

“He just knows how Saiyan relationships usually work, and this isn’t what usually happens. If I met you and wanted to mate you, I’d immediately start on the ritual. I wouldn’t just sit around and wait for a while.” I explained.

Suddenly, Kakarot was in front of me, almost pushing me into the wall. His arm was bracing himself against it, holding onto the wall beside my head. I backed up so my back was pressed into the wall. My breathing became shallow and labored. His face was mere centimeters from mine.

“So, this is what a relationship is to you? It’s just a sexual attraction?”

I almost stuttered from the anxiety. “No, but it’s the start.”

Kakarot scoffed, moving away from me. “Have you ever even had a relationship?”

"A relationship?" I asked, a little confused as to what exactly he meant. He knew of what most of my life had consisted of.

"Yeah, you know, like a mate?" Kakarot asked, his body obviously relaxing. The tension was falling off of him.

I blushed and looked down at my feet. "No, not that way." I felt like a failure. I didn't even know why.

"Does it scare you?”

Kakarot had whispered the question, like he was afraid to actually ask it. I knew why. He didn't want me to get upset or uncomfortable. He liked to know that I was in a safe state of mind.

I thought about his question for a few seconds. Honestly, at this point in my life, I had no desires for sex. I didn't want to relive those horrible years of my life. I didn't want to be in a sexual relationship. I knew that it was the only natural way to create children, and I'd put up with it to restart my race, but nothing more. I longed for a companion, but, in a way, the physical aspect really did scare me. I knew those men who abused me were weaker than I was, yet they still did it. Who says Kakarot wouldn't do the same, given the opportunity?

I swallowed. "I don't want to talk about me, Kakarot."
He chuckled. "I do. You're the one who wants this relationship, so I want to know how your brain works. Does it scare you?" He repeated the question louder, and more aggressively.

I bit my lip, trying to force the words from my mouth. "Y-yes." I stuttered.

"Why?" 

Anger burst into my body. How dare he ask that question? He knows very well what I have to be afraid of. Now, he's just patronizing me. 

"Kakarot," I growled in warning.

His demeanor softened and he sat on the edge of his bed, patting the mattress beside him. "Please, just humor me, Elle.”

I sat beside him uncomfortably, fidgeting. I had already noticed that Kakarot solved other's problems as a means to ignoring his own. He didn't want to deal with them, so he directed his attention elsewhere.

"Now," he paused. "Why does having a relationship scare you?”

I didn't look at him, knowing I'd have a better chance at retaining my composure that way. "Everything that has happened makes it hard to see a relationship with someone as a good thing. The things that are usually the best parts of relationships were used against me; sex, love, vulnerability.”

"So, you're afraid to be vulnerable to some kind of aggression?" Kakarot asked.

I nodded. "I've never found pleasure in the good aspects of a relationship, so why should I think it's a good thing?”

"Well, I guess I can understand that." He paused for a moment, looking down at his hands in his lap. "You know, I'm scared too.”

"Why?" I asked, rather confused. He's toying with me.

"I was with Chi for so long. It's hard to think of building a life with someone else. It's like betraying her. I'm terrified of being so happy that I forget about her." Kakarot never looked up, only at his hands. "I've never been with anyone else.”

I hadn't known that he was so worried about betraying his dead mate. However, it was admirable how loyal he was to her. That part of his Saiyan mentality was still very intact.
 
"You cared for her, Kakarot. You won't forget her." I said, trying to sound comforting. 

"I don't want to betray her. I just wish I could know what she wants me to do." Kakarot looked up to meet my gaze. 

"She wouldn't want you to be miserable. Anyone who cares for someone so deeply isn't so selfish as to say that they can never have a companion again." I almost grew angry. What if his mate actually felt this way? 

He chuckled. "I know she wouldn't say it, but she'd think it. I can hear her now, telling me that no one will ever be as good as her, especially in the kitchen." 

I hadn't realized that Kakarot and I really bonded as we talked for the next hour or so. We talked about a whole lot of nothing, but it was nice. I saw parts of his mind that I hadn't before. Though he wasn't as forward about it, his Saiyan pride was alive and well. He and I were actually rather similar, and he was really easy to talk to. His sons were his pride and joy. Every time he talked about them, he got excited, nearly jumping around. 

Then, I noticed that we'd moved so we were laying in the middle of the bed, focused only on each other. We were both propped up on one elbow, facing each other. His hand was resting on my hip, moving a little every time he talked. Heat radiated from those fingertips when they brushed the tiny bit of skin that was exposed above my waistband, but below the hem of my shirt. 

After a moment, I think Kakarot noticed too. His eyes wandered to the traitorous digits, contemplating. I tried to keep myself calm, to not panic. I wanted to trust him, I really did, but the memories flashed in the back of my mind. The pain, the blood, the screams all became overwhelming. I noticed I'd completely stopped paying attention to the other Saiyan when his large hand moved from my hip to cup my cheek softly, breaking me from my trance. 

His eyes were echoing a look of sadness and worry. I swallowed, my body involuntarily trembling. Then, he sat up, not breaking the contact with my cheek, and pulled me over so my head was laying in his lap. He stroked my hair gently as I looked up at him.

"I know this is hard for you, Elle. I give you my word that I won't hurt you. I wouldn't allow it, and I won't let anyone hurt you either." The corner of his mouth curved up in a slight smile. "You won't believe that right now, but I'll prove it.”

I noticed a change in Kakarot. He'd let down the wall that he'd had up since I met him. He was showing his true nature now, and he wasn't fighting to hide from anyone. Those dark eyes of his were like an open book. It wasn't only the things he knew, but the things he didn't. He held compassion for things he'd never felt. 

I smiled at him, giving him no other reassurance that I understood.