Fake Fan Fiction ❯ FAKE in Love: Act XVI, Healing and Memory ❯ Chapter 3

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Warnings and Disclaimers: Not Sanami Matoh, not making any money off this, and the story is set at the end of the last Act. Watch out for the lemony goodness kids and stop bitching about the length of time between updates. I have a life—somewhat.
 
 
Ryo was nervous. The plane ride seemed to take too long and every little jolt and bump sent his hands fidgeting. It wasn't flying, God knew he didn't have a problem with that; it was what was waiting for him when he landed.
He practically pushed past the other passengers when they finally finished all the landing procedures. Polite excuses and bashful smiles dropped from him as he made his way as quickly as he could off the plane. He felt sick; he had no idea what he was rushing too.
The little airport was busier than he had thought it would be, too many people milling around him. It made Ryo wince slightly and glance back almost longingly at his plane. Then the crowds parted and a very familiar figure appeared.
Dee was staring up at a schedule, piercing green eyes momentarily distracted, and Ryo was able to take a good look at his lover. Dee was dressed in casual clothes and scuffed boots, little about him different now from his city life save for a rougher jacket and a thin line of stubble that covered his chin. Then Dee's eyes slid to him and Ryo felt his blood rush as Dee's gaze overtly took him in.
Ryo grinned and closed the distance between them, his arms flinging themselves around Dee's neck and pulling him in close. Dee hesitated slightly, surprised, but then hugged Ryo tightly.
“Missed you,” Ryo breathed, and deliberately drug his cheek against Dee's.
The friction of the stubbled dark hair sent a delicious thought racing through Ryo's mind; what would that feel like on the rest of his body? He blushed darkly and Dee gave him an oddly shy smile.
“I missed you too,” Dee said as they finally pulled apart.
He took a step back from Ryo and gave his partner another smile.
“Come on, let's go.”
Dee grabbed his bags and Ryo blinked slightly.
What the hell?
 
The rusted truck bounced them down the country road, Dee fiddling with the radio until the only local station began to pour over them. He stubbornly kept his eyes locked on the road in front of them, carefully avoiding all contact with his lover.
It was like a dam in Dee's mind. He wanted to curl up in Ryo, to cover himself in every inch of the man, his love, his touch, everything. And once he started, he didn't know if he could stop. He needed to feel Ryo, to hold him and whisper all his fears and feel someone hold him back. Good God he had practically had to break his fingers apart to let go of Ryo in the airport.
Ryo stared absently out of his window. He had tried to talk to Dee, but the dark haired man was focusing completely on driving and seemed intent on not talking. It left Ryo with few options, so he watched a winter swept landscape spread around them.
The truck pulled away from the last of the small town's outposts, now trees and snowy fields spreading out around them. Ryo blinked as the sun sparked up into his eyes and blinded him. Then the truck was pulling over and Dee was unbuckling his seatbelt.
“Are we here already?” Ryo asked, trying to clear his eyes and find the little cabin.
“No,” Dee answered and suddenly pulled Ryo to him. “I couldn't wait any longer.”
He drug Ryo close, pressing into the brunette like a drowning man would cling to hope. His nose flared as he breathed Ryo in and curled his fingers in silky strands of hair. Ryo tensed slightly, but then leaned back into Dee's body and wrapped his arms around Dee's hold. He laced his fingers with Dee's and tilted his head to rest in Dee's palm.
“We should have come up here together in the first place,” Dee said lowly. “God I missed you.”
“You needed some time,” Ryo said.
Dee snorted laughter and bowed his head to rest his forehead against Ryo's neck.
“I don't have it all worked out, Ryo.”
“No one expects you to.”
“I expect me to.”
Ryo lifted their hands to lightly kiss the back of Dee's wrist.
“It's alright Dee.”
“Yeah.”
“It'll get better,” Ryo said and then hugged Dee's arm.
“It already is,” Dee murmured and closed his eyes. “Is that…alright?”
Ryo frowned slightly and Dee sighed against his neck.
“That kid's dead, Ryo,” Dee whispered. “And I'm, I'm already thinking about myself and what I do next. Is that alright?”
Ryo's hold tightened on his arm.
“Yes,” Ryo said gently. “Yes it is, Dee.”
“Are you sure?” Dee breathed.
“I swear it's okay,” Ryo whispered and lifted their hands to press his lips to Dee's fingers. “You're alright Dee.”
Dee laughed again and his hand began to lightly circle across Ryo's scalp.
“Yeah.”
“I love you,” Ryo said, his voice loud against the silence that the snow pressed in upon them. “More than anything.”
“I love you,” Dee answered and his arm tightened around Ryo.
A long moment of silence passed between them and then Dee lightly kissed Ryo's neck.
“Did you miss me?” he asked quietly.
“Of course I did,” Ryo answered. “I told you that.”
“I know,” Dee said. “But I like hearing it.”
Ryo sighed softly and his hand lightly traced up Dee's wrist.
“I like your jacket,” Ryo said and allowed his fingers to slide up under the sleeve and tickle against Dee's arm.
Dee chuckled and lightly rubbed his chin against Ryo's neck. Ryo took a deep breath and tilted his head to expose more skin to Dee.
“What do you think of my five o'clock shadow?” Dee asked huskily.
“It looks more like seven day shadow,” Ryo murmured.
“But do you like it?”
Ryo's eyes closed and he smiled as an all too familiar blush spread across his cheeks.
“Very rugged,” he answered.
Dee's arm tightened around him again and then Dee was sighing heavily across his neck and releasing him.
“Let's get to that damned cabin.”
 
Dee had no idea how in the hell they actually made it inside.
From the moment he shut the engine off they were holding each other, touching and kissing and barely making it to the door. And somehow (he wasn't sure that he could ever explain just how) they managed to make it up the loft's ladder without killing each other.
Now they were standing before the bed, groping each other like hungry teenagers and kissing so hard that Dee was sure he wasn't ever going to be able to catch his breath. The thought held an appealing quality.
Ryo's hands slid down to his jeans, splitting the zipper open and darting inside to skim over Dee's hipbones. Dee moaned and suddenly pulled away from Ryo's lips, their panting breath filling the small cabin as Dee's hands tightened at Ryo's shoulders.
“Wait,” Dee managed as he struggled to catch his breath. “Slow down.”
Ryo stared at him for a moment and then his eyes blinked away some of the hazy lust. His hands dropped back to his side and then quickly rose to rest lightly over Dee's.
“I'm sorry,” Ryo said. “I…I just…”
Dee smiled and shook his head.
“I'm fine Ryo,” Dee said reassuringly. “I just said slow down.”
One hand slid out from under Ryo's to carefully caress down the line of the brunette's body.
“It's been too long,” Dee said softly. “I want to take my time.”
Ryo's eyes closed a moment and his hand tightened around Dee's. Dee cradled Ryo's face, his fingertips brushing lightly over the soft skin of Ryo's throat.
“I'm going to go throw a couple extra logs on the fire,” Dee said quietly and his eyes flicked from Ryo to the bed. “Okay?”
Pink bled across Ryo's cheeks and he nodded slightly as Dee leaned forward to lightly kiss parted lips.
“I love you,” Dee whispered.
“I love you too,” Ryo answered just as quietly.
Dee dropped a quick wink at Ryo as he climbed down the ladder, a smile splitting his lips as he headed to the fireplace. He had banked it down pretty low before he left, and it took a few minutes before the cabin was filled with the soft pop and crackle of a blazing fire. His eyes wandered back to the shadowy loft and Dee couldn't help but grin as he returned to the ladder.
He had expected to find Ryo curled up under the blankets, that warm inviting smile in place as he looked up at Dee. Instead his lover was sprawled across the bed, his eyes half-lidded and hungry and a pale blush spreading its fingers down over his body. Dee stared. There was really nothing else he could do as he took in every inch of the beautiful man spread before him.
“You're making it very difficult to take this slow,” Dee said huskily.
Ryo arched his back in answer, his whole body tensing and shifting with the movement.
“Very difficult,” Dee repeated.
Ryo's eyes locked with his, and every fiber of Dee's being reacted completely. He fell into Ryo's eyes, toppled completely into love and warmth and smiled happily. Ryo smiled back, his own body filling as he stared at the sparks that danced in Dee's beautiful eyes. Those eyes that pierced him completely, that saw every piece of him and beyond all of that. Those eyes that consumed and remade him.
“I love you,” Ryo whispered. “Dee…”
His eyes fluttered closed and a soft smile passed over his lips. Dee shivered and pulled his shirt free. The dark haired man climbed up the bed, his hands passing slowly over Ryo's body as he pressed himself to Ryo's side. He nibbled at Ryo's neck, relishing the warm flavor and soft pressure of Ryo's hands at his shoulders.
Ryo skated his fingers down across Dee's back, circling and caressing over every muscle. He tugged lightly at Dee, pulled the dark haired man onto him, and wrapped his arms around Dee's body. They kissed, lips brushing then meeting more firmly. Dee lightly nibbled at Ryo's bottom lip and then traced his tongue across it. Ryo smiled into the kiss and his lips parted slightly to allow his own tongue to dart out and brush over Dee's. Ryo's hands slid lower, again dipping into Dee's jeans to grip his hips. He pulled Dee down to him and both moaned at the deep friction.
Dee pulled his lips free and turned again to Ryo's neck, this time mouthing at the skin and licking at every inch he could find. The bristled stubble gritted across tender skin and Ryo gasped at the sensation. Dee chuckled quietly and carefully rubbed his chin back and forth across Ryo's throat. A long drawn out moan escaped the brunette and his hands clutched at Dee's back.
“Like that?” Dee murmured.
Ryo smiled and thrust forward, his legs tightly gripping Dee to him.
“Yes,” he purred softly.
Dee chuckled again and slowly began to work his way down Ryo's body. He scraped his stubble clad chin down Ryo's skin, tongue occasionally darting out to swipe a wet warm strip. He circled his cheek against Ryo's nipples, the brunette gasping again and curling his fingers in Dee's hair. Dee worked the little nubs into jagged peaks, his teeth lightly tweaking at them before he skidded lower.
Ryo's hands dropped back to the bed and wrapped tightly in the tangled blankets. His eyes closed and he spread his legs as Dee climbed between them. Expectant fire pooled in Ryo's stomach and tingled out through his body. A long sigh escaped Ryo and his fingers tightened.
The feel of Dee's prickly cheeks working up and down his thighs was like nothing he could have ever imagined. It grated over his skin and warmed it. Dee's hands trailed afterwards, soft and smooth and igniting absolute fire. Ryo moaned and arched slightly, his body straining for more contact.
A tongue tentatively swiped across the head of his cock and Ryo's lip trembled as he sucked in a sudden burst of air. Dee's hands massaged into his thighs and the dark haired detective leaned forward to nuzzle against the sensitive skin.
Ryo's lips parted with a ragged cry, and Dee panted heavily as he wrapped his lips around Ryo and began to suck. Heat surged through his body and Ryo's hips worked desperately beneath Dee's hands. Dee hummed softly, knowing what it did to Ryo, and then had to practically pin Ryo down to keep him from thrusting free. Dee swirled his tongue over the salty skin and then pulled his lips away from Ryo's body.
Ryo gasped and struggled to lift his head enough to look down at Dee.
“You're amazing,” Dee panted.
“I was…just thinking the same…about you,” Ryo answered and his eyes closed again. “Don't stop.”
Dee thrust forward lightly against Ryo's leg, and Ryo moaned at the firm heat.
“I love you,” Dee murmured and pulled free from his jeans.
The black haired man dug around for a moment and then quickly lubed his fingers. He kissed across Ryo's stomach as he carefully loosened his lover's body.
“I missed you,” Dee whispered.
“For more than this I hope,” Ryo teased breathlessly.
Dee smiled and circled his tongue around Ryo's navel. His fingers scissored in Ryo's body and then he carefully positioned himself and thrust forward. Ryo moaned low in his throat, his back arching hard as Dee slowly filled him. Then Dee leaned over him, his arms sliding to wrap around Ryo's body and pull him close. Dee gently kissed Ryo and brushed back sweat slickened hair.
“For much more than this,” he murmured.
Ryo pulled Dee to him, his hands again gliding over Dee's back and tangling in his hair. Dee thrust forward, their lips meeting as they slowly made love, the cabin heating warmly around them.
“I love you,” Ryo whispered across Dee's lips. “I love you so much, more than anything…”
“Ryo…”
Dee's arms tightened and he buried his face in Ryo's neck, every sense filled with his lover as he rocked forward again and again. Dee's eyes closed and he breathed Ryo in, his thrusts growing erratic as a deep tightness pulled at his body. One hand worked free and slid down between their bodies to wrap around Ryo's cock, the pulls long and aligned with his movements. Ryo cried out sharply, his hands tightening at Dee as heat suddenly pooled between them.
“Ryo,” Dee gasped again and then fell into release.
They clung to each other then, caressing and kissing through a long drawn out pleasure. At last Dee pulled carefully free and dropped to Ryo's side, his head quickly pillowing on Ryo's chest. Ryo smiled and his fingers combed through dark locks as Dee pulled the quilt up to cover them. Dee's arm dropped to wrap around Ryo, his eyes sliding to half mast as he sighed with contentment.
“I love this place,” Dee said quietly. “It's just like you said; quiet.”
Ryo's hand slid down to rest at the back of his neck, long dexterous fingers gently stroking over his skin.
“I was planning to bring you here for Valentine's,” Ryo confessed softly. “I thought you'd like it.”
Dee chuckled softly and turned to press a light kiss to Ryo's skin.
“End of the week, right?” Dee asked. “Happy Valentine's Day.”
“Happy Valentine's Day Dee,” Ryo answered with a smile.
“How long were you planning on staying?” Dee asked hesitantly.
Ryo shrugged slightly.
“I told the Chief a week, but I warned Rose that it might be longer.”
“How is the bastard?” Dee asked amicably.
“He said to tell you that the station's much quieter without you around.”
“Ah, he misses the sound of my voice,” Dee chuckled.
Ryo shook his head.
“I'm sure that's just what he meant.”
They leaned in closer to each other and pulled the blankets up tighter. Dee felt sleep tugging lightly at him and his arm tightened around Ryo.
“I still want to be a cop, Ryo.”
Ryo smiled and lightly brushed his fingers through Dee's hair. The black haired man sighed softly and then continued.
“I wasn't sure for a while,” he admitted quietly. “I wasn't sure I could do it anymore.”
“Are you sure now?” Ryo asked, his hand now gently stroking through dark hair.
Dee was silent a moment and then sighed again across Ryo's skin.
“Sometimes,” he said lowly. “Sometimes I don't know.”
Dee pressed his face to Ryo's chest and then squirmed a little until he could rest his ear over Ryo's heart. He closed his eyes and listened to the soft rhythm.
“He's never going to have this,” Dee said distantly. “That kid. He's never going to fall in love, he's never going to have any of this.”
“No,” Ryo said softly.
“And he'll never…”
Dee's eyes closed and he tightened his arms around Ryo.
“There're so many things he'll never have,” he murmured.
“I know,” Ryo said just as quietly.
Dee's eyes clenched tighter and he practically dug down into Ryo. It was a clawing ache in his chest. He had killed that boy, that kid was dead because of him. He wanted it to go away, he wanted it to be okay, he wanted Ryo to fix everything. Ryo's hand continued to brush through his hair, holding him, touching him, and Dee slowly relaxed back against the warm body in his arms.
“It's not just going to be alright now, is it?” Dee asked softly. “It isn't just…better now.”
Ryo sighed and his palm rested coolly against Dee's neck.
“It's better,” Ryo said. “But it won't heal, not ever. You'll feel it forever.”
Dee shook his head, a frantic anger suddenly worming up in him.
“How would you know?” he practically snapped, and then sunk down into the bed.
He waited for Ryo to shove him away, but the soft caressing continued and Ryo sighed again beneath him.
“I know,” Ryo said softly.
Dee's head lifted and his chin rested lightly on Ryo's skin as he stared up at sad dark eyes. He nuzzled against Ryo, gently curled his fingers against Ryo's back, and waited.
Ryo took a deep breath before he spoke.
“It still hurts,” Ryo said lowly. “He was shooting into a crowd. I just remember there being a lot of noise and light and everything was fast. And then suddenly time just froze. I knew what was I doing, I watched everything just slow down and happen. I fired, he turned to me, and I fired again.”
Ryo's voice faded and his eyes closed for a moment.
“I was young and stupid,” Ryo said and swallowed thickly. “He was…high on something. They don't think he even knew what he was doing. He just looked so surprised when that first bullet hit him.”
“Why didn't you ever tell me?”
Ryo shrugged a little.
“I'm a sharpshooter,” he said blankly and shrugged again. “It's part of my job to shoot people, if I have to. It's part of what I do.”
“God Ryo,” Dee breathed, and they both knew that Ryo was lying. “Does saying that help?”
“No,” Ryo said and laughed brittlely. “Not at all.”
“Was he the only one?” Dee asked, his fingers again brushing up and down Ryo's skin.
Ryo nodded. Dee's head dropped back to Ryo's chest and he listened again to Ryo's heartbeat. It was a little faster now, and Dee nuzzled against the skin again, his arms tight and heavy as he burrowed in close.
He had never really thought of it before. He knew that it was hard for Ryo, but his partner was skilled and nine times out of ten the police managed to negotiate a peaceful solution. It was that one time, that one moment when Ryo would be called on to pull the trigger. And Ryo would do it, had proven that he would and could. Dee's eyes closed again. He had never thought about that strength and endurance that it took to actually fire.
“Nobody ever really wants to shoot,” Ryo said softly and Dee felt him take another deep breath before his hands slid back through Dee's hair. “They told us that during training. Nobody ever really wants to shoot, you do it because you have to, because there is no other choice.”
Dee's eyes blinked quickly and he nodded.
“No choice,” he murmured.
“And then you have to live with it afterwards,” Ryo said softly. “It won't…heal. It's like a scar, it's always there, but after a while you don't think about it every time. And then, one time you don't think about it at all, and that's worse than anything, because you killed someone and you forgot about them. And then it hurts, and you can't stop thinking about it again. And then, after a while, it gets better again.”
Ryo's arms slid down to wrap around Dee and hold him close.
“And I'll be there,” Ryo promised gently. “I'll be there for all of it. I'll never leave, Dee. I love you. I'll always be there.”
Dee's eyes closed again and he smiled a little.
“I love you too,” he whispered.
They lay quietly for a moment and then Dee propped his chin back up to stare at Ryo again.
“How'd you know about this place? Parks asked about your parents.”
“Yeah,” Ryo nodded. “This was their place. Mine now, I guess.”
Ryo was silent then and he sighed softly.
“I love you Dee,” Ryo said quietly.
Ah, Dee knew what that meant. Goodnight, and don't ask anymore right now. Dee smiled and turned to place another gentle kiss against Ryo's skin.
“I love you too.”