Fake Fan Fiction ❯ Mad World ❯ Grasping At Memories ( Chapter 7 )

Mad World

Dee X Ryo, hints of Bikky X Carol

Disclaimer: Again? Okay, okay, I don't own these characters, just the plot.

Warnings: See Prologue

Italics = Thoughts or Flashback, *~*~*~*~* = POV/Scene change

Again, much thanks to my beta readers.

AN: Sumimasen! I'm so sorry! RL decided to intrude on my writing time, and I had to work this past weekend. Fair warning: the next update will be posted sometime on Sunday, as I have to work this coming Saturday as well. Okay, on with the show!

Chapter 6: "Grasping at Memories"

Ryo was feeling slightly more rested the next morning. He'd only woken up twice in the night, which was much better than the first night. He made a conscious effort to throw off the feelings of sickening fear that had gripped him the night before. It was more of a chore than he liked to admit. It particularly bothered him that he couldn't remember anything concrete from these nightmares. He knew that if he could just get a grasp on what he was dreaming about, he could then come to terms with it and thus overcome it. But these dreams slipped away like water. He sighed and rang for the nurst to come let him loose. Finally, having been freed and allowed to relieve himself, he sat back in bed, waiting for breakfast, and decided to read a little to pass the time. He grabbed The Art of War off the bedside table, and paused for a moment, smiling as he looked at the cover of the book. He was happy Dee had brought this particular book, it was truly one of his favorites. He'd always taken some comfort in the idea that, no matter what, some things would always hold true, and the ideas in this book were one of those. With these peaceful thoughts, he cracked open the cover and tried to concentrate on Sun Tzu's treatise on military strategy.

Tried proved to be the operative word. Ryo growled to himself as he realized he'd read the same passage three times, and it still wouldn't stick with him. *Damn.* It just wasn't making a lot of sense to him right now. He was prevented from thinking any more on it for the moment, as the orderly came through with his breakfast. Then came the nurse to check his vitals and tell him what was scheduled for the day. Today he was to see the staff psychologist for more testing. Ryo's eyes darkened at the thought of another day like the one before. But he should get to hear the results from yesterday's testing, at least. So, he guessed things could be worse.

By the time he went down for his testing, he'd forgotten about his annoyance with his book that morning.

*~*~*~*~*

After a morning spent with the psychologist, getting more tests than he'd thought possible, he went back to his room for lunch, then down to start his physical therapy regimen. By the time that was over, Ryo had revised his view of Hell to include many of the execises he'd had to endure. The therapist head told hime that he was lucky because he'd been in such good shape before, this made things a lot easier for him. His response was only to growl out that if this was easy, he didn't even want to contemplate what she called hard.

Back to the room again to have one of the (thankfully male) nurses help him shower, then the time he'd been both anticipating and dreading: the doctor came in with his file to discuss the results of all of his testing.

Ryo looked over the man who had walked in, taking in his appearance in one swift glance. A slightly portly man, mid-50's, salt-and-pepper hair and brown eyes, he carried an air of authority, and his body language conveyed a sort of impatient self-importance. "Good afternoon, Mr. McLean. I'm Dr. Grumbos. I've reviewed your information and I'd like to discuss it with you. Are you feeling up to that?"

"Yeah, might as well get this part over with. So, is it fatal?" Ryo grinned, trying to make light of his situation. Dr. Grumbos was obviously less amused.

"No, Mr. McLean, your injuries aren't fatal. In fact, the CAT scan results are good, over all. The head injury you sustained has healed nicely. The physical therapist was quite impressed during her assessment as well. She tells me she's discussed a therapy schedule with you?" At Ryo's nod, he continued. "Very well, then. Dr. Schmidt, whom you saw today for assessment, will be here in just a bit to discuss the results of his testing today. Then he and I will talk so that we can determine when you are to be released. Now, I understand that you've been having some trouble staying asleep? Nightmares?"

Ryo's eyes dropped. He still didn't like to talking about this. "Yeah. Something like that."

"Well, I'm prescribing something to help you sleep though the night. Because we don't know how effective the dose will be, you will still need to be restrained for the next few nights for observations. Any questions?"

"Yes. When will you know how much longer I have to be here? Not that your hospitality leaves anything to be desired, but I miss my own bed and my own home."

"I need to consult with Dr. Schmidt. I should have more information for you tomorrow."

"Okay. Thanks."

The doctor turned and left, leaving Ryo to his thoughts. He was feeling reasonably happy, as it looked like he might be getting out of this place sooner rather than later. He truly detested being in the hospital, it brought back too many bad memories. Having to see his parents' bodies was one of the worst things he'd ever been through. Though, that wasn't the only reason he hated these sterile white rooms. The other reason was something he'd tried very hard to forget, something he'd never told Dee or Bikky. About a month after his parents' death, his aunt and uncle had rushed him to the hospital to get his stomach pumped because he'd downed a bottle of sleeping pills along with half a bottle of vodka. He'd been confined to the hospital for 3 days, most of the time strapped down to the bed "for his own safety." It was really just the grief of losing his parents and the realization that the police could do nothing that had pushed him to that point. He knew, looking back, how absolutely stupid such a thing was. But it was shameful, having been so weak. Now he was being forcibly reminded of his weakness, the straps on his bed driving the point home with a vengeance. He buried his face in his hands and cried as he was caught up in all these thoughts and memories.

After a few minutes, his tears started and he began to regain his composure. Grabbing some tissues, he wiped his face, trying to make himself presentable again. Glancing at the clock, he saw he still had plenty of time to kill before his lover arrived, so he decided to read a bit more.

He was still on the same page a few minutes later when Dr. Schmidt came in the room.

"Ah, good afternoon, Mr. McLean. How are you feeling this afternoon."

"Well, I imagine I'll feel better once I know when I can go home." Ryo smiled up at the easygoing man.

"Of course. And that is one of the things I'm here to discuss with you. Do you mind if I have a seat?"

"Not at all."

Dr. Schmidt sat in the chair that was drawn up next to the bed, and opened the file he was carrying. "I've got the results of your testing, and I'd like to go over everything with you. Is now a good time?"

"Well, Doctor, I don't seem to have any pressing appointments." Ryo spoke with light sarcasm, trying not to show just how nervous he really was. However, this did not escape the doctor's notice.

"If you'd prefer that we discuss this tomorrow, we can."

"No! I really want to get this over with. It's a lot worse worrying about what might be than knowing what's really going on."

"Okay." Dr. Schmidt pulled out a copy of the CAT scan results. "To start with, as I'm sure Dr. Grumbos told you, your CAT scan results do show that the major damage you had received has healed nicely. However, there are a few areas of concern to me. Most of the damage you experienced was around your language centers. The scan does show a bit of lingering damage. Now, the good news is that, with time and some therapy, this should become unnoticeable. The human brain is amazingly adaptable, so it can work around the damaged areas. Now, your testing with me points to some difficulty with written language, both reading and writing. Also, you seem to occasionally have some difficulty in locating the words your looking for when you're speaking. I'm not going to lie to you and say that it's nothing, and that it will go away. But, it is something that can be overcome. You've probably been feeling like you're on an emotional rollercoaster lately. That is mostly due to stress, and I think that, once you're back home in a familiar environment that will even out. Same with the nightmares, I expect they're being exacerbated by being here. So, I am going to be giving Dr. Grumbos my recommendation that you be released as soon as your physical health allows. Now, I know I've given you a lot to think about. Do you have any questions for me right now?"

Ryo sat quietly on his bed, trying to take in everything he'd just been told. "Um, just that you said that, what's wrong with me, I can get over it, with therapy, right? I mean, it's not like this is forever, right?"

Dr. Schmidt smiled kindly. "That's correct, Mr. McLean. Any problems you're having now can be overcome. But it will take time and effort."

"Oh, okay… Thank you. I don't have any other questions. I think… I think I'd like to be alone right now, and get used to all of this."

"Of course, Mr. McLean. I understand that it's a lot to take in. I'll see you tomorrow so we can start getting you on the road to recovery." With that, the doctor rose and took his leave.

Watching him go, Ryo felt a little numb. Everything the doctor had said made sense, but it was so much to try to take in all at once. And, even though the doctor assured him that he could get better, he really wanted nothing more than for Dee to be there right now, to take him in those strong arms and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Looking down at the book on the bedside table, he realized now that it wasn't just nervousness and lack of concentration that had made it so difficult to read this morning. What had once been one of his favorite activities was now turning into a chore. In a fit of anger, he picked up the book and hurled it at the opposite wall, letting out a string of curse words in both English and Japanese. It was at that point that Dee walked in, finding his lover in a truly pissed off mood.

*~*~*~*~*

AN: I know, I usually have review responses, but I need to get this posted, so I'll include everybody next chapter (promise)!

Ja ne!