Fan Fiction ❯ The Link/Sheik Saga ❯ Bloopers ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda.

Aubrey: Okay folks. The story is over. But I just loved this fic sooo much that I decided to prolong the ending a bit with some bloopers that my friend and me came up with while I was writing it. So, here they are. They seemed kinda out of place in the actual story so I decided to put them at the end of the fic as an extra treat to those of you who made it thus far.

Part One-

"Link?" She murmured, shooting a worried glance at the seventeen-year-old Hylian. Link hadn't said a word in the past seven years. Sometimes she wondered if, wherever he'd gone, whatever he'd done, if something had happened to him, something bad. But that couldn't be. Link had only been gone two weeks…hadn't he?

"Link?"

Slowly, very slowly, the blonde man nodded. Acknowledging her presence for the first time in six months.

"Link, where'd you go after you received the Spiritual Stone of Forest?

Once again, very slowly, Link nodded, this time in the direction of Hyrule Castle. Realization sunk in when she realized what going there would mean. Link had gone to see the Princess Zelda. And that could only mean…

"She sent you to go and kill him, didn't she? The Black Man, the one who haunted the Great Deku Tree's slumber?

Link: *Gives her a naw-she-sent-me-to-get-a-mystical-cabbage look*

Part Two-

"Link." Sheik murmured. "Ignore them. Don't listen to them, love. Ignore them and they'll go away."

Link removed the Kokiri Sword, now little more than a knife, from its sheath and began to carve into the wooden floor a message reading. 'THEY SAID YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE.'

Sheik: *Squeaks* My floor!

Part Three-

"Sheik?" Impa persisted. "How do you know?" She asked him again.

Sheik had not moved from where Saria had pushed in the time that the Sages had been present, but he did now. Scrambling back to his feet, he quickly made his way over to the corner again, rapping his arms around Link's waist, pulling the semi-conscious Hylian into his lap, as he had when Link had first come back to this time, eight long years ago.

Sheik: Because he's having a seizure in my lap.

Impa: *Sweatdrops*

Part Four-

"He loves you?" Darunia questioned him.

"I hope so." Sheik replied softly, as Link continued to have the shuddering spasms from his lap.

"And you love him?"

"More than anything."

"Then I'm fine with it." Darunia said happily. "Be good to him, Sheikah boy."

Link: Hey! Remember me? Little blonde boy having a seizure in this guy's lap?

Everyone else: *Sweatdrops*

Part Five -

Link gave him a sad look and grabbed a pad of paper and a pen writing quickly. I can't talk you know. He wrote to Sheik. I'm not even sure if I remember how to anymore.

Sheik: *Stares at the paper and then up at Link* Wouldn't it have been easier to just nod or shake your head?

Link: *Shrugs*

Part Six -

Sheik had put out a conscious effort not to mention the time when Link had almost gone insane around his lover. A slight sub-conscious fear plagued him that the Hero of Time might still be mentally, and emotionally, unbalanced told him to steer clear of the subject. Sheik cringed as there was a loud thunk next to him. Looking over that Link was fast asleep on the floor. And physically unbalanced. He mentally noted.

Part Seven -

Link: *Is drinking alcohol…chokes* Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…

Zelda: Interesting first words…

Sheik: *Nods*

Part Eight -

"Pity…" Zelda murmured, taking a sip of her wine, the red liquid staining her pale lips with a rosy tinge. "I had hoped that he would have woken up and told you what happened after the Shadow Temple when I took over…"

Zelda: *misses her mouth and spills her wine on her dress* Awww! Damnit! And I just got this dress back from the drycleaners!

Sheik: Hyrule has drycleaners?

Zelda: *Shrugs*

Part Nine -

Darunia sat down with a loud thunk noise, and Nabooru dropped down next to him. Impa simply directed her vision over to the two blonde boys in the dining room.

Saria: *Falls over when Darunia sits down* Gently!

Part Ten -

Zelda: Oh! I almost forgot, I had a prophecy last night. There's a great badness coming!

Saria: A great badness? We need to work on your vocabulary, sweetie. *Hands Zelda a thesaurus*

Part Eleven -

"Oh…Nabooru!" Zelda sobbed into the startled Gerudo's shoulder. "I don't know what I'd do without you…all of you…"

Ruto: That looks really, really lesbian.

Saria: Yep…

Part Twelve -

"If only pure evil can combat pure good, then surely the Light can combat this Darkness." Raura commented stepping forward toward Zelda and bowing slightly at the waist. "You and your nation have my allegiance, you're eminence, Princess Zelda."

Yui {Fushigi Yuugi}: *Pops up into the room* Hey! I'm the only one who can be called Your Eminence! Nakago! Kill the Hylians!

Nakago: *Proceeds to slaughter random Hylians*

Saria: *To Zelda* So, is this the great badness you were talking about, Princess?

Zelda: No. Different badness. And don't make fun of me, whore.

*Saria and Zelda proceed to fight in a large dust cloud while everyone else, including Yui and Nakago, watch*

Part Thirteen -

Link: Sheik!

Sheik: Link? You can talk?

Link: Sheik, I am stuck in a hole.

Sheik: But you're supposed to be in the temple of time, getting possessed. See? It's in the script. *Tosses script down the hole*

Link: Sheik, I am stuck in a bloody hole! I don't give a damn about the script!

Part fourteen -

Saria: *Is getting mauled by the Wolfoes* I'm your mistress! Stop attacking me!

Part Fifteen: -

Sheik: *Is clinging to Ruto* Don't leave me out here in the middle of the bloody lake, Damnit!

Ruto: Lemme go! You're supposed to be gay!

Sheik: I am, but I can't swim! Get me to land before you go searching for him!