Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Strange Bedfellows ❯ Seeking Comfort in the Flesh ( Chapter 5 )

~Five~



They really weren't trying to hide anything. Cloud never lied to Tifa, or any of his other friends for that matter, but he never exactly told the truth. If Tifa had any idea what was going on, she probably would have suspected someone new or even something blooming among one of their mutual friends. She certainly wouldn't imagine Reno or any member of Shinra's dwindled ranks.

He wanted to keep it private, just between Reno and himself. Cloud didn't really have any qualms about what he was doing. When it came right down to it, their little affair was innocent compared to past indiscretions. It was nothing compared to letting Aeris slip through his fingers or giving Sephiroth the black materia. Cloud found it all too easy to drown in lust, anything to escape the isolation of his memories and friends who tried too hard to reach out to him.

They knew, they had been right there by his side, but they still didn't seem to understand, were just like everyone else and all too willing to forget. Reno was different. He didn't care about the future; he certainly didn't care about the past.

Reno genuinely wanted Cloud, not as the ex-SOLDIER, not as a memory, but as someone that he considered desirable. And maybe, just maybe there was a touch of the forbidden there.

They were very clever about when and where they met. Neither man wanted their relationship to interfere too much with work or the lives they lead when they weren't in bed together. They were lovers in between days, in between moments in time, carving out their own reality consisting of broken conversations and intense acts of lust.

It was like exorcising demons, a release of all the anxieties that dragged him down and made everything hurt.

*~*~*~*~*

Cloud took great pleasure in seeing Reno's hair unbound. It always startled him, how long it truly was. Spilling over his shoulders and framing his face, its lurid shade made him skin seem so pale, almost translucent. It was smooth, surprisingly soft, but always tangled and ensnared Cloud's fingers, as if every part of Reno sought to engage and possess him.

His hair was like an extension of his personality, wild and outrageous, a mad contrast of spiky bangs and so many different layers that it seemed less like a hairstyle and more like a chop job with a pair of rusted scissors. It suited Reno well, matched his slacker image perfectly even if that's all it was: A cool façade to distract from the intensity that made him a Turk and one of the best.

Cloud knew well enough that Reno was deeply loyal to Shinra, even if it was barely more than a name and fancy logo these days. When it came right down to it, Cloud knew exactly were he stood with Reno, but it didn't bother him too much. In a demented, twisted sort of way it made Reno almost honourable.

It must be nice to know exactly what you're willing to live and die for.

*~*~*~*~*

Sometimes a truly intense orgasm brought tears or screams or even stole away one's breath.

With Reno, it made him laugh. It was never boisterous or too terribly jarring, just breathless chuckling punctuated by wanton, explicit praise. For a long time, Cloud thought it was weird, but eventually he got used to it.

Sex had always been something curious to Cloud. He had been taught that it should only be enacted with someone that you love. He'd broken that rule a few times now; his mother had been right, after all. There had been plenty of temptation in the big city, and not always the loose women his mother had assumed.

Casual affairs had always brought some degree of guilt, though, and he avoided them for the most part. Instead he carried around a history of heartbreak, which he supposed was a lot worse.

After the experiments performed upon him, his senses had been almost too enhanced for him to bear a single touch without feeling like his body was nothing more than a bundle of hypersensitive nerve endings. For a long time he'd been very picky about his lovers and eventually stopped taking them altogether. It had been far too complicated in the end, with too much sensation getting tangled up with too much emotion.

Reno didn't make him feel that way. Things were easier with The Turk, maybe because he enjoyed sex for what it was rather than what it symbolized. It wasn't a spiritual union of souls when they were together, it wasn't even an act of love; it was just sex, pure and simple.

Cloud allowed himself to freely lust after Reno because it was so much easier than admitting to how lost he felt.

*~*~*~*~*

Sex with Reno was never a routine. Some encounters were long and torturous, they would tease each other until the tension between them would snap and break under the force of need; during others, they would tear at each other's clothing, their passion damned near violent, bruising lips, leaving bloody scratches, and swollen bite marks. It was the best sex of Cloud's life, like nothing he'd ever experienced before. He'd never been with anyone as blatantly and openly sexual as Reno.

Reno who feared nothing except stagnation and boredom. Maybe that was why they threw themselves at each other, quelling frustrations and pain with flesh and decadence. The glittering, dangerous glamour of The Turks had been stripped away in the wake of Sephiroth's defeat, leaving them filling in all the empty gaps of Shinra's once-vast infrastructure of power. Cloud was forced to pick up the pieces of his memories, trying to fit himself into a role he had not created for himself, outside the ghost of Zack and nightmare of Sephiroth. Reno was too proud to admit how much back-breaking, soul-crushing work it was to stretch himself so thin, living off cheap coffee and cheaper cigarettes. Cloud was too tired to admit how much he hated living beyond his idealized personality and imaginary identity.

And so they found contentment other ways, sick of alcohol and denial and self-immolation. There were other ways to drown that were much sweeter and more exquisite than the agony of living in a constant state of limbo or becoming your own judge, jury, and executioner.

TBC….