Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Breathe No More ❯ Hysteria ( Chapter 3 )

Breathe No More
Chapter Three
Hysteria

He honestly had no idea how, but Hatsuharu managed to finish his homework that night. However, he somehow wasn't looking forward to school the next day. It seemed a little obsolete if he was just going to die of a lethal lung disease anyway, but, if Shigure was right, it shouldn't actually kill him for some time, so he ended up going to school. It still didn't make him feel any less weird about it. It was also the first time he'd see any of his cousins, besides Hatori and Shigure, since he'd gotten Hatori's little diagnosis.

None of them were any different, though. Momiji still clambered up on him, Tohru still flustered and greeted and offered to do this or that, Yuki still stayed in his little bubble of indifference, and Kyo was still off brooding in his little corner. And none of them were any the wiser, either! That thrilled Haru. The family gossip tree hadn't gotten a hold of his illness yet! It was still a secret! It was quite the achievement to still have a secret in their family, past twenty-four hours of figuring it out yourself. So, it was actually a pretty normal day, and he was grateful for that. He could thank Shigure for that entirely. The dog was his secret lover after all, and also one of the largest gossips in the family. So if he didn't want it known, it probably wouldn't be. Unless he did something stupid... we won't put that past him...Well, they didn't really need to worry about that. Haru could get his secret blown all on his own, thank you very much.

...And, he did. The next day at his martial arts lesson. One of those "unpleasant" symptoms that Shigure had mentioned happened to come in the form of breathing problems. And, it happened to come in the middle of his lesson. That really irritated him. Couldn't his deadly disease have better timing? Yeah, it wasn't very nice to not tell Kazuma about this disease. He was really worried about the kid when that happened. So that's how they ended up with Haru rather unable to breathe, and Kazuma wondering why, while Hatori tried to fix the little 'not breathing' problem. Well, it calmed down...eventually. Soon enough that he didn't die. That was helpful. Haru...really hadn't liked that, though. It had been scary. Was that how Yuki felt when his bronchial tubes acted up? He'd have to try and do something extra nice for his cousin next time that happened...

"I told you not to over-do it." Hatori sighed before going to explain to Kazuma. He'd come back and properly admonish the ox later.

"I didn't know what WAS 'over doing it'!" Haru called after him, his shoulders still heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

So once the karate master was filled in (He apologized for getting the ox in his current state) Hatori returned.

"Hnn..." The dragon sighed. "You're staying here for a while where I can watch you."

"Stay here?" Haru echoed, frowning. He didn't want to stay there!

"Yes. I trust you to take care of yourself about as much as a trust Yuki." The doctor informed him. "He got to stay here when he over-did it too. I don't play favourites."

"That wasn't my fault." Haru felt he should point out. "You didn't exactly tell me what 'over-doing it' would be."

"Common sense." Ha'ri shrugged before heading off. He was going to find someone to come keep the kid company. He was more fidgety than Kyo and he could just IMAGINE how unpleasant keeping the ox here would be. Maybe Yuki would come...Shigure answered the phone, though. He rolled his eyes when he heard what his friend had to say, too.

"Really, Haa-san." He snorted before hanging up. He immediate went upstairs and changed his clothes, then told his housemates he would be back later, and if anything was broken when he returned he would feed them their spleens. When he arrived at the dragon's office his taller friend blinked at him. He wasn't wearing his robes. Nah, for some reason or another he was in regular pants and an untucked dress shirt. Hatori couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen Shigure in pants...

"Shigure?" He wondered. "What are you doing here."

"I came to visit Haa-kun." The brunette stated very plainly as the doctor let him in.

"Right, he's back there." The doctor motioned vaguely.

Haru was currently sulking in the bed that Hatori had told him to stay in. This sucked. Not only had he not been able to breathe to the point that he'd almost passed out twice, now he had to sit there in the boring doctor's office. The only thing he could possibly think of that could make the situation worse was the power going off. Then he'd have to sit there in the boring doctor's office in the dark. That would make it worse.

"Haaaa-kun." The dog crooned softly as he approached. Hatori had hissed a warning about him keeping the kid calm before going to take care of the massive paperwork that came with having diseased cousins.

"Sensei?" Haru blinked up at him, raising an eyebrow. He...honestly hadn't expected his boyfriend to show up. Really. He hadn't. "What're you doing here?"

"Coming to rescue the princess from the dragon-guarded keep." Shigure answered dryly with a half smile.

"Princess?" Haru echoed, not sure if he would be insulted by that or not. "That is one of the weirdest analogies you've come up with, I think."

"It's not to be taken literally, either way." The adult assured him.

Haru snorted, and eyed him for a moment, before speaking again.

"You're wearing real clothes." He noted, a small smile playing on his lips. "I told you there was nothing wrong with pants. Why the change?"

Shigure raised an eyebrow. "Because I'm not being a writer right now. I'm being a boyfriend. Isn't it neat how I can just change around like that?"

"Aw," He all but cooed teasingly. "You put pants on for me! I'm honoured." Now he had pants to get into...though, he was pretty sure that phrase only worked the other way around...either way.

"Impressive, isn't it." His lover laughed before ruffling his hair. He had no aversion to pants, but he worked from home. So, what was the point, exactly?

"So, did Tori-nii call you, or did you have a sudden desire to come see me, and it was through pure instinct that you chose to look here first?" Haru wanted to know next, his tone only a little sarcastic. (Really, he just wanted something to say. He really was that bored already.)

"He called trying to get Yuki to come see you. But I think it's excessive for him to keep you here, so I intend to bust you out in a few minutes." The dog murmured out idly.

"Thank you!" Haru snickered triumphantly. "He has no reason to not trust me to take care of myself." Or, at least, that's what he thought.

"Hmm, I'm going to go pester Haa-san. You get shoes and such and wait outside the door." The older Sohma smiled lightly before heading off to bother the living hell out of his friend for a few minutes.

"Right." Haru agreed, and got up to obey, while Hatori was outside, trying to convince Shigure WHY Haru needed to stay put.

Shigure joined him outside later with a pleased grin.

"No one shall ever break my record. It only takes me 5 minutes to annoy Haa-san into apoplexy."

Haru grinned at him with amusement, and opened his mouth, to reply, when Hatori followed Shigure out, and yanked the dog back toward the room a bit, hissing into his ear.

"Remember, don't let him do anything too stressful." He warned lowly. "The disease itself might not kill him for sometime, but that won't matter if he suffocates himself first."

Haru frowned, and offered his cousin a sharp look, annoyed at that. He could still hear him, after all, in such close proximity. And he didn't appreciate that comment one bit. It wasn't like he wasn't already embarrassed about his little episode before, without Hatori treating him like he was made of glass.

"Oh, bah." The dog stuck his tongue out at him. "Go horde treasure or something." He shook loose of his friend. He wasn't going to let Hatori just keep the ox all cooped up because he was acting like a worried mother hen.

"I'm just saying, make sure he's careful." It really was all he was asking. It wasn't much. Really, it wasn't.

"Think going out to lunch is too stressful for you, Haa-kun?" Shigure wondered dryly.

"No." Haru muttered in a defensive tone. "And, I would have been able to finish class, too, if Shihan panicked. All I needed was a minute..." he wasn't exactly sure if this was true, and Hatori was pretty damn confidant that it wasn't, but that was the ox's story, and he was sticking to it.

"Well then! Let's go have a nice careful afternoon." The writer rolled his eyes before grinning, he dramatically offered the teenager his arm and they headed off. Hatori could drop dead.

"Thank you," Haru sighed, once they were out, and sitting at a table in a restaurant. "Tori-nii worries too much..."

"He's trying to steal my treasure." Shigure sighed emotionally. "Damn dragon."

"Okay, Sensei," Haru rolled his eyes. "You're taking this dragon and princess thing too far, now."

"I must use it when I can. Haa-san tends to smack me if I mention his zodiac usually." The mutt responded idly.

"That's because you're usually mocking him." The ox felt he should point out, with a small, dry smile. Just barely twitching at his lips, hardly noticeable.

"That is completely beside the point." Although, actually, that was the point. But Shigure wasn't known for making sense.

"No, it's not." Haru shook his head matter-of-factly. Then, he quickly broke the conversation off, so they could order, and even once that was done, he carefully kept the subject off of his own health issues. He wasn't going to let himself be upset over this. Or...at least not TOO upset. The last thing he wanted was to loose moral and end up stuck in a bed, like some helpless invalid, for the rest of his life.

Later, the dog took his younger lover out of the bustle of the town and somewhere a little more quiet...and with less women.

"Hmm, I haven't taken anyone out on a date in years." He mused to himself absently.

"That sounds a little hard to believe." Haru admitted softly, absently letting his fingers intertwine with his boyfriend's.

"No, really." Shigure smiled softly at him. "Dating halted after Kana-chan left." He thought that explained everything fairly well right there.

"Oh." Haru blinked a little, before just nodding. "That makes sense, I guess."

"Then Haa-san got rather boring and I needed a new squeaky toy." The older man snorted at the wording of that.

Haru twitched a little, and offered him an odd look.

"I don't talk about my past sex life with you." He pointed out.

Shigure kissed his cheek, almost in apology. "You could if you wanted."

"And yet, I still don't." He sighed, gaze softening a little after the kiss.

His lover reclaimed his hand before wrapping that arm around his shoulders.

"Your subtle hint for me to shut the hell up?" he wondered. "I figured you'd love to tease Haa-san about some of that, though." He'd been hoping so at least.

"Why would I want to do that?" He wondered, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"Because Haa-san is fun to tease, and he won't smack you."

Haru snorted a bit, but just let his head tip a bit sideways, to rest against Shigure.

"Think I might skip that, thanks."

"No fun at all!" The brunette laughed.

"You're not the one who'd have to deal with Tori-nii afterward." He felt he should point out.

"He'd get over it." The dog muttered quietly. "Eventually..."

"Eventually being the key word?"

"Uh-huh." Shigure agreed nuzzling him. "But Haa-san is too nice for his own good; it wouldn't be long."

Haru just sighed again.

"I still think I'll skip it." He decided, glancing up at him curiously. "Where are we going?" He wanted to know.

"Over this-a-ways." The dog chuckled and they continued on their way. He was supposed to be careful with Haru, so he figured that a movie would be a safe place.

Indeed, safe and fun, as far as Haru was concerned. Movies meant kissing...and he really enjoyed kissing Shigure...

Movies = kissing? That's an interesting equation -- one that his older lover was plenty happy to go along with. He just hoped the ox wouldn't start suffocating. That would only kind-of suck.

Well, not exactly...His breathing was a bit heavy and ragged by the time they were finished. But he wasn't suffocating...yet...He didn't know what might happen later, but at the moment, he was breathing.

The dog brushed his hair, not much of his concern showed too much. But he was, a bit. He didn't exactly want the ox to keel over or anything.

Haru offered him an odd look, and just placed one last, quick, kiss on his lover's lips, in a silent plea to please not worry, and that he really was fine. Shigure quickly grinned. He hadn't meant to look like he was worrying to begin with.

"Shall I walk the lady home now?"

"You're REALLY pushing that princess bit." Haru informed him with a small frown. Wasn't enough that people kept calling him a cow? Didn't he already have enough gender confusion? "But...yeah, thanks." He added a moment later.

"I played boyfriend today." The brunette held up a finger with his point. "Next time I'll be the lady if it makes you feel better?" He offered teasingly.

"Well...you people already call me a cow." Haru defended himself slightly.

"Ah, the insecurities surface?" The author raised an eyebrow. "Well, I promise. You're not a girl."

"I already know that!" Haru snapped, blushing furiously. "It--it's a...public opinion issue...I guess..."

"Public opinion? I think it’s just Kyo-kun being an ass."

"Same difference." He shrugged a bit, still blushing quite a bit.

Shigure nosed his cheek imploringly. "I won't call you that, then?" He offered with a wry smile.

"Hm..." he agreed with a nod. "That'd be nice of you."

"I can be nice when I try." The taller assured him.

"I feel special now." Haru snorted with some amusement. And, if they hadn't been in public, he probably would have kissed him, too.

So they headed back to the main compound, Shigure almost wanted to go tell Haa-san he hadn't killed the kid, just to be obnoxious. But he decided staying in the younger’s presence for a bit longer would be a bit more enjoyable.

"Thank you," Haru smiled, his breathing still a bit harsher than it really should be. "For a completely enjoyable evening."

"You will now rest so I can come back tomorrow and ravish you without fear of you suffocating on me." The dog teased carefully, ruffling his hair.

"I'm not going to suffocate on you." Haru frowned a bit. "What happened today...was a freak accident. I'm sure it won't happen again..."

"Keep it in the back of your mind, anyway?" Shigure drew him in close. "Don't stress over it, but it would be rather stupid to think it can't happen again."

"I'm not weak." Haru stated, still frowning, almost defensively. "I'm not gonna live in…fear of this."

"I didn't say that at all, Haa-kun." His lover pointed out.

"I don't need to be careful!" He tried to elaborate. "I don't plan on losing to it, so, there's no point."

"Things don't always go according to plan." Shigure raised an eyebrow. "If things were going according to plan you wouldn't have the disease to begin with."

"Well, yeah, but..." He frowned even more. "I...don't want to be one of those people who dies in bed, because they're too afraid to try to do anything..."

"Now, if you would listen, that's not what I said either." The author laughed. "I don't want you to lie in bed like a little vegetable; I also don't want you to just disregard your disease, either."

"Best way to live around it is to ignore it completely?" He offered weakly, losing a bit of his ground in his argument. And his frown was losing most of his defensive anger, and slipping into a flat out unhappy look. He didn't like feeling scared, and the whole situation was REALLY scaring him...

"Survey says: no." Shigure made a little buzzer noise while he was at it.

"But...Sensei..." Oh, there was no way in hell that he was going to cry. Nope, absolutely not, not over something as minor as dying. No crying for Haru...right?

The dog sighed; he locked the door quickly before pulling the silly little cow to the floor and hugging him.

"I'm not going to fuss at you. But I don't really think YOU want to die of oxygen deprivation."

Haru continued to stare at him, for a moment, before letting out an odd choking noise, and burying his face in Shigure's chest. He hated being scared, but he hated crying even more. However, both of those were happening at once, and it was pissing him off to no end.

Shigure idly hoped he wouldn't upset himself too much. But really, in his professional opinion, the ox needed to let some of that out before it built up and he had a serious episode. He hugged his littler boyfriend close and rested his cheek on his spiky white hair.

"I...I was scared." He admitted, in between sobs, as he desperately argued with himself between letting all of this out, and to stop crying right away. "I couldn't breathe, and I...I was scared..."

"That's why I suggested you be careful." The dog mumbled. "Neither you nor I want you to have to feel like that again."

"I don't like..." He managed to choke out. "Don't like feeling scared...and weak, and helpless..."

"You're not helpless in all things, Haa-kun." Just because he didn't have total control over his lungs didn't mean that.

"B-but, I can't do anything about what actually matters..." His shoulder wracked with another sob. "I...I don't--want to die...from this..."

"It's this or that with death." Shigure whispered. "You still have plenty of time left. I wouldn't worry about that particular detail so much."

"You--you don't know that!" Haru pointed out, eyes widening with fear. He could feel his lungs reacting to his panic already. "What if it happens again? You h-heard what Tori-nii said. I...I could die any time..."

"He said you could suffocate." Shigure corrected. "Calm down?"

"It's the same thing!" Haru continued to sob, trying to obey, but still managing to fail. "T-they both mean dying..."

"Everyone dies eventually. You can't let it ruin the time you do have." The dog nuzzled him comfortingly.

"I'm SCARED!" He repeated, frowning through his tears. Not to say that he had been smiling before, but now he was annoyed too.

"Don't be? Fear is a waste of emotion." Shigure sweat dropped.

"Well, it's not like I WANT to be!" He moved his face from Shigure's chest, so he was actually looking at him. "How many times in the last five minutes did I JUST say 'I don't like being scared'?"

"Enough so that even the slowest two year old would understand?"

"Thank you!" He sighed, and let his head hang unhappily.

"Come now, wouldn't you have been suspicious if I didn't manage to annoy you even a little?" The writer wondered, noting that the ox was finally calming down.

"Quite possibly..." He admitted, closing his eyes to try and halt the flow of tears from exiting his eyes any more. "Goddamnit..." He grumbled, trying to scrub them away as well. "I hate crying..."

"If it makes you feel better, you look very cute when you stop being the living glacier boy."

"'The living glacier boy'?" Haru echoed, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're allowed to be emotional. But you aren't very often, and when you are, it's cute..." Shigure offered. Maybe he shouldn't be thinking his lover’s pain was cute... But ever heard the phrase "pretty when you cry"?

"But..." Haru protested slightly. "Usually, when I'm emotional, he comes out and tries to beat Kyo up..." It never worked, but Black Haru ALWAYS tried!

"Obviously not this time though."

"Well, Kyo's not here to try to beat up to begin with..."

His older boyfriend kissed him to get him to shut the hell up.

And Haru almost suffocated right there. All these mixed emotions (happiness, sadness, etc.) were just too much for the poor kid to handle!

He really liked breathing, though. And he hadn't been doing nearly enough of it that day, in his personal opinion.

The dog pet his hair softly. "Now. You need to calm down. Maybe take a nap."

And, had he been able to breathe, and thus talk, Haru probably would have probably agreed to that. But...he kind of couldn't. So, he just gripped the front of Shigure's shirt, and gave him several frightened looks. Damnit! How was he supposed to calm down about this when it kept happening?

"I mean it, calm down and just concentrate on breathing." Shigure commanded gently. This wasn't like Yuki, where the boy's windpipe was blocked. There was just scar tissue in his lungs preventing him from filling up said lungs as far as he needed. The ox really just needed to calm down and work at it.

Haru frowned, and tried to do that. He really did! And it worked. It just...took longer than he'd have liked it to...

"There." The author smiled lightly. "See."

"I...REALLY don't like that." Haru complained quietly, and kept breathing deeply, in order to keep his lungs working period. He almost started crying again, right there, too.

"Shhh, go to sleep for a little while, okay?" The dog requested

"Yeah..." He agreed with a tiny nod, but he didn't move toward his futon, still. "Stay with me?" He requested after a moment of just watching Shigure. He didn't want to be alone at the moment, actually.

The dog thought about that for a moment. He really couldn't stay, if they didn't want to be caught. But if his lover needed him...?"For a while." He consented.

"Thank you." He smiled a little, tugging on his hand a little, as he got up to actually go over and sleep IN his bed, as opposed to somewhere northeast of it.

Shigure made sure to tuck the boy in and stayed nearby holding his hand for a while. The door was still locked, so nobody would just barge in…But the older man did leave eventually; he didn't want to push his luck.

To be continued…

~“And I want you now
I want you now
I feel my heart implode
And I’m breaking out
Escaping now
Feeling my faith erode…” –Muse (Hysteria)~

Converting /tmp/phpidCvNS to /dev/stdout