Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Ebony and Ivory ❯ In which the Cat Beats the Rat ( Chapter 18 )

A/N: Don't stop reading at the end of this chapter! The story doesn't end here, by any means.

 

 

CHAPTER 18: In which the Cat Beats the Rat

 

Kyo went to Yuki's temple. He didn't really care what Yuki's reaction would be. He had to talk to Yuki, in a place the rat couldn't escape. If this didn't work, he decided, then it really was true that the cat and the rat couldn't be friends. He had already half come to that conclusion. But something at the back of his mind told him that the idea was just crazy enough that it might work. Before he had been upset at himself for liking Yuki. Now he saw it as a challenge. He would make this work. He wasn't going to back down. Yuki was going to be his friend, whether he liked it or not.

 

Yuki's playing stopped when Kyo entered. “What do you want?”

 

The coldness in his voice, as well as the fact that the piano had stopped after Kyo had heard it for the first time in weeks, left him stunned and speechless.

 

“You're not supposed to be here,” Yuki said icily. “I only play for friends.”

 

Determined again, Kyo felt his temper building. “You know, that's not what you said at the beginning.”

 

“I'm allowed to change my mind. It's not like we signed a contract.”

 

“Well for your information, I didn't come here to listen to you play.”

 

“Good. I'm glad you're not stupid.”

 

“I want to talk to you.”

 

Yuki closed his eyes. “Take a number, and I'll get back to you.” He started to play. This time it irritated Kyo, because it was Yuki's way of shutting him out. The mask looked so hard that Kyo thought he might need a sledgehammer to break it.

 

“Yuki, will you listen?”

 

“You want me to stop being weird at school, right? Okay. I'll stop.” He continued to play, and didn't look at Kyo.

 

“I want you to stop being mad at me.”

 

Yuki didn't reply, and continued to play.

 

“Look, I'll try to be nicer to you at school, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“So are we cool?”

 

Yuki didn't reply. His playing accelerated.

 

“Yuki, I miss you.” It had been hard to admit this. Surely Yuki would see that. But Yuki didn't even blink. He was playing something fast and repetitive. Frantic. In a flash of realization, Kyo saw that Yuki's mask was not on after all. His emotions were coming out on the keys. The rat was panicking. Why?

 

Kyo finally decided that the only way to get the mask off was to take away the piano. He quickly came behind Yuki, putting his arms over his cousin's, and closing his hands around Yuki's hands, to stop his playing. Suddenly he had a memory of Yuki doing that, putting his hands over Kyo's to guide his playing. He had been Yuki's first choice. Him. Why? “He wants more than just to chat with you every now and then. He wants a real friendship.” Kyo closed his eyes, mind flying back over the last several months. Yuki had smiled, and laughed. Yuki, who almost never laughed. “Do you… feel rejected…?” “You know, you're a terrible distraction… it's kind of nice.” “I'm kidnapping you.” “Kyo can share my room.” “I'd love to call you my friend…”

 

It was true. This wasn't Yuki's whim. Somehow… somehow he meant something to Yuki. It was obvious. Why? How could Yuki be like this? How could he not care that Kyo was the cat, a monster? How could Yuki possibly want to be friends with him on an equal playing field, not as the cat and the rat, but as cousins? “Why would I ever want to be friends with that damn Yuki? I hate his guts!” Kyo cringed at the memory of his own words and let go of Yuki's hands, which Yuki had been trying to pull away. His vision blurred and his eyes burned.

 

Yuki had been so kind to him. He'd accepted him, really accepted him, in spite of countless reasons why he shouldn't have, and Kyo didn't even acknowledge him in school? Said he hated him at school? No wonder Yuki had looked like he had been stabbed! Haru was right. He was right about everything! How could Kyo possibly have been so selfish? How could he not have seen how wrong he was? And even after what he had done at school, Yuki still didn't mock him in front of others, even though he had every reason to do so.

 

Kyo forced himself back the present, where Yuki was standing and yelling at him, for good reason, telling him to get lost. Oh yes, taking away the piano had definitely broken the mask. But Kyo barely heard him. Instead he fell to his knees*, and suppressed a guilty sob. “I'm sorry,” he whispered.

 

Yuki fell silent instantly. “What did you say?”

 

“I'm sorry,” Kyo said, a little louder. “I was a jerk. I'm sorry. Treating you like that at school.” He pressed his lips together, realizing suddenly that he didn't really deserve to be forgiven. He had never done anything before to make taking him back worth anything. It had all been Yuki's initiative, and Kyo had accepted. “I shouldn't have done that,” Kyo said softly. “Or should have… called you my friend. After everything. I'm sorry.”

 

There was a long silence. “I'm glad to see you have a conscience,” Yuki said at last, calmly. He got his books together and put them in the bench.

 

“Yuki, wait.”

 

“No.”

 

Does he not want to be my friend anymore? “Please…”

 

“Goodbye, Kyo.” He walked toward the door.

 

Kyo rose to his feet and ran ahead of him, blocking his way out. “Give me a chance to make it up to you!” Please, please say I'm not too late!

 

“You don't have the strength. Get out of the way.” He tried to push past Kyo, but Kyo stood firm with a strength he didn't even know he had. He was suddenly desperately afraid that Yuki wasn't just playing hard to get.

 

“No! I can make it up to you. Give me a second chance! Please!” Please don't say it's over. Not now!

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I can be a good friend to you—I know I can! Just give me a chance. I really, really, really want to be friends.”

 

Yuki stopped struggling, and turned to Kyo, eyes wide. “You do?”

 

He didn't know? “Why do you think I've been trying so hard to make things right?”

 

Yuki fell silent for at least a full minute, and stood like he was frozen—like he was afraid of something. “You actually care? You want to be friends? Even though I'm the rat?”

 

Kyo sighed a little, then pressed his lips together. Damn that whole stupid legend. He wasn't going to let it control him! Kyo nodded firmly. “Yes! I don't care about that anymore. I want to be your friend!”

 

Yuki looked at him suspiciously for a moment. “Badly enough that you'll admit it to Shigure?”

 

Kyo hesitated for a second, and Yuki pushed him aside. Kyo ran ahead of him, suddenly desperate. Yuki tried to push past him again, but Kyo dodged his arm—for once—and did the only thing he knew would stop the rat in his tracks—hugged him tightly around the shoulders. “Stop running away,” he said firmly.

 

Yuki stood still, as though frozen, his eyes slowly widening. And then the mask dissolved, and all Kyo could see was panic. “Kami-sama,” Yuki whispered, stiffening. He tried to struggle, but Kyo held firm. He was not going to let the rat win this one. “No, Kyo, let go!” His voice was frantic. “You were right! You were right, this can't… I would hurt you… and Akito…” He tried again to struggle, harder this time, but Kyo hugged tighter.

 

“What the hell does Akito have to do with this?” Kyo asked, somewhat alarmed at the sudden mood swing. “Yuki, I like you. I want to be your friend. Please, just give me a second chance.”

 

Presently Yuki stopped struggling, and slumped. “Kyo…” His panic faded into desperate loneliness, and hurt, and fear of being hurt again. There was mistrust, but there was also a yearning to trust. “Oh Kyo, what are you thinking?” This came out almost as a sigh. Kyo didn't get it. Why was Yuki suddenly acting like he thought it would be a mistake for Kyo to become his friend?

 

“I'm going to let go of you, okay?” Kyo said at last. “Just don't run.” Yuki nodded, and Kyo released him. “I'm not embarrassed anymore. I promise. I really want to be friends. Just give me one more chance, please.” It was so strange. So strange to stand here and beg Yuki of all people for friendship, and yet…

 

“That's what you want?” Yuki asked, and Kyo remembered his question.

 

He nodded. “That's what I want. I want to be friends. I don't care what people think. If you don't care, I don't.” What had happened? How was it possible to go from hating someone's guts to wanting to be friends with them? “I was being stupid,” Kyo said softly. “I won't be anymore. Just give me one more chance. I'll prove it to you.”

 

Yuki closed his eyes, and then met Kyo's. His eyes shone brighter suddenly, like they were moist, and he looked down. “Do you promise?” he asked. “Do you promise I can trust you? That this is really… what you want? That you won't change your mind?” His voice trembled.

 

Kyo gave a sigh of relief that nearly turned into a sob, though he wasn't crying. He was winning. “Yes. I won't let you down again. I promise. Not ever again. We'll always be friends from now on. And I'll tell Shigure, and the Yankee, and Tohru, and Haru, and Momiji, and Ayame, and even Akito if you want, just please be my friend!”

 

Yuki looked at him searchingly for a long time. “You mean it?” he asked at last.

 

Kyo closed his eyes. “Yes. I mean it. You can trust me.”

 

Yuki was silent for another long moment. “Okay,” he whispered.

 

Kyo felt his eyes widen as a flood of relief and joy nearly knocked him to his knees again. “O…okay? It's okay to be friends? I can have a second chance?”

 

Yuki smiled a little, and he nodded. Kyo closed his eyes as the full impact of this set in. He was friends with Yuki, who apparently cared enough to spend months working up to this point. Had that been Yuki's original reason for letting him listen to the piano? A very stubborn cat, Yuki had called him. Kyo smiled. He would know.

 

“Kyo?”

 

Kyo suddenly pulled him close again, and hugged him tightly. “I don't get it,” he said, “But thanks.” He stiffened a little in surprise when Yuki's arms tentatively closed around him, then tightened. Yuki was hugging him back! Kyo smiled again, and laughed a little. “Looks like I definitely won this one.”

 

Yuki let go a little and looked at him curiously. Then he smiled, and started to laugh—the slightly hysterical kind that could just as easily have been crying. “You're so weird.” He held Kyo at arm's length for a minute, firmly, and just looked at him. He seemed to be shaking a little, though Kyo wasn't sure why. He looked like someone about to step onto a roller coaster—like anything could make him reconsider. It made Kyo nervous. But at last, Yuki seemed to relax. “Thank you,” he said with a smile. Then he let go and began to walk back to the piano. “You'll… stay, right?”

 

“Uh, sure,” Kyo said, slightly flustered. Yuki had thanked him? For what? Being weird? He listened to Yuki play the piano for a few minutes, listened to the chaotic emotions Yuki was experiencing but not showing. Somewhere between extreme joy and extreme fear. How on earth had Kyo gotten this power? It had been fascinating at first, but now it made Kyo nervous and exhausted him. He suddenly sincerely hoped Yuki would calm down once he realized the friendship was a sure thing, and stop being so hypersensitive. Of course, Kyo would probably have his work cut out to convince the rat of that. At last, the music seemed to calm Yuki down, until he seemed almost back to normal—whatever the hell that was. Kyo had been redefining “normal” ever since the piano thing had started. “What'd you thank me for?” he asked once Yuki had finished.

 

Yuki paused for a moment, then smiled. “For being my friend, of course.”

 

Kyo had sat down on the floor, and now he leaned his chin against his hand. “That's not something to thank me for—you're the one that started it.”

 

Yuki laughed again. “I suppose.” He came and sat down with Kyo with an impish smile. “You're unbelievably dense, you know. Do you realize that I had to tell you verbally that I didn't hate you? I'd thought that was evident from the first day I let you listen. Why would I let you listen if I hated you?”

 

Kyo shrugged. “I don't know. You didn't… make it all obvious or anything. You were ruthless, anyway.”

 

Yuki laughed. “Kyo, I was teasing.”

 

“Well yeah, but…”

 

“And then I had to tell you again that I liked you… seriously, Kyo…” Yuki shook his head. “Didn't the last three months or more have any effect on you?” Apparently being friends with Yuki didn't mean he'd stop teasing. It was almost comforting for some reason.

 

“Well yeah, but I didn't know it!” Kyo folded his arms. “And you're the one who always acted so damn casual about everything. I thought maybe you just wanted to bounce your pieces off someone or something… I don't know! I mean…”

 

Yuki's smile faded. “So you thought I was having you come for my own amusement?”

 

“Something like that. I don't know.” He shrugged a little. “After a while, I didn't really think about it. It was just… fun. But I mean, the idea of you actually liking me wouldn't even have entered my mind, because there's no reason on earth why you should. I mean, why me of all people? It's not like I'm any good at this whole friendship thing.” He sighed a little. “You could've told me sooner, you know. Like before school started.”

 

Yuki paused, and looked away. “Yeah, but….” He shrugged. “Hanging out with you and not being friends was better than scaring you away completely by saying I wanted to be. It was fun.”

 

“Well then why did you finally say something?”

 

Yuki was quiet for a moment, thinking. “I was tired of the back and forth. I finally decided that even losing you was better than really liking you and having you say that you hate me. Even if you didn't mean it.”

 

Kyo blinked. “Wait… so I'm right then? You did change the rules when we got to school?”

 

Yuki smiled a little. “Yes. You're right.” He sighed. “I guess that wasn't quite fair.”

 

“No, it's fine,” Kyo said. “I mean, seriously, after how nice you'd been I shouldn't have acted like that anyway. It just… felt really weird. And I really didn't know you cared that much. I thought you were just being all anal or something.” He rested his forehead on his fist. “I really was an idiot.”

 

“You were,” Yuki agreed matter-of-factly. Then he smiled. “But you know, one of the things I like about you is that when you realize you're being an idiot, you stop. A lot of people don't.” He looked away a little. “I know I don't.”

 

Kyo sniffed. “Like you could ever be an idiot.”

 

Yuki raised an eyebrow. “Kyo, I hope you're not princifying me in your head.”

 

Kyo looked at him. “Wha… No! What I mean is, you're not an idiot about that kind of stuff. At least when you're an idiot, people don't really notice.”

 

“You do.”

 

Kyo shrugged. Then he smirked a little. “Hey, if we're going to be friends, you've got to stop wearing that stupid mask, okay?”

 

Yuki blinked. “Mask?” he asked.

 

Kyo rolled his eyes. “At least when you're around me, you've got to drop the whole self-confident prince act, okay? Just act normal. `Cause I like you, not the prince-sama.”

 

Yuki's eyes widened slightly, and for a second Kyo thought he'd get mad, but instead he smiled. “I'd like nothing better,” he replied. His smile broadened. “But you, in return, have to stop acting like you're nothing more than the cat.”

 

Now it was Kyo's turn to look shocked. Was this really… what Yuki wanted? He smiled a little, catching Yuki's drift for once. There was no way both of them would pull off their assignments with any degree of consistency. “Deal,” he said, holding out his hand. Yuki shook it with a smile. “Now play some piano! I haven't heard it in almost a month.”

 

Yuki laughed. “As you wish.” He stood up, and went back to the piano. Even his music seemed to smile. Kyo moved closer. Being Yuki's friend meant that he was allowed to sit as close as he wanted, right? He mulled this over as he listened. Did he really have rights as Yuki's friend? Like sitting with him, and asking him questions and stuff? It… made sense. Could he ask Yuki to spar with him, or would he have to wait for Yuki to offer? Was he allowed to go into Yuki's room and chat with him? Could he hug Yuki whenever he wanted? This warranted experimentation.

 

“So… we can still spar, right?”

 

Yuki stopped playing for a moment, and smiled. “Of course.”

 

“Whenever I want?” Kyo asked excitedly.

 

Yuki hesitated. “Within reason,” he replied cautiously.

 

“That's fine,” Kyo said quickly. “So… we can hang out and stuff? At home and school too?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Kyo began to grin. “And… I don't need to be all careful around you like everyone else is, right?”

 

“Gosh, no!” Yuki said firmly, rolling his eyes.

 

Kyo cocked his head slightly. “Yuki… do you like me because I'm not careful around you? `Cause I don't treat you like a china doll?”

 

Yuki smiled gently. “Partly. I like you because you're real. I always know where I stand with you. Even when you hated me, the consistency was nice. I don't get a lot of that.” His smile faded slightly, like he'd remembered something he didn't like, but he kept silent. “Anyway,” he said at last, “I definitely like it that you treat me like that, like I'm real. You're always ready to take me down from my pedestal—or kick me off, as the case may be. And that's a good thing. Pedestals can be pretty lonely places.”

 

Kyo watched his face as he spoke, and was a bit annoyed that Yuki was still wearing his mask, at least a little. He was being overly casual, turning his pain into a joke, like he had been when he talked about his fan club that night. At the time, Kyo had laughed it off. Now he just smiled a little. He wasn't secure enough in the friendship to really push. However… the least he could do was make Yuki feel a little less lonely, to the extent that he could.

 

Kyo rose to his feet and went and sat beside Yuki on the piano bench, drawing a startled smile from his new friend. “I want to work on `Heart and Soul'.”

 

Yuki's smile brightened. “Okay.”

 

They worked together for a long time, and by the end of the day they had finally brought the parts together, albeit slowly. Kyo could never figure out where to come in and how to coordinate his part with Yuki's. By the time Yuki pointed out that it was almost dinnertime and Tohru would be worried, he had a great deal more respect for Yuki's piano abilities.

 

“How do you do it like that?” he asked as they walked home. “Like, play two different parts at the same time and make them fit?”

 

“It's actually easier than playing a duet, I think,” Yuki replied with a shrug. “You just get it into your fingers. And after a while you get a feel for beats and stuff. It just takes practice.”

 

Kyo smiled a little. “I don't think I could ever have that kind of patience.”

 

“Well you did with martial arts, ne? For me, piano playing is like martial arts are for you, I think.”

 

There was a long silence, and Kyo's mind wandered back to the beginning of this session. How on earth was he supposed to be a friend to Yuki? There was all that stuff about a pedestal, but… Kyo wanted to do more than just keep Yuki from being lonely. And more than that, what if he screwed up? What if he lost his temper, or acted like an idiot, or done any or all of those things that drove Yuki nuts? Would Yuki decide being friends was a mistake? Would he forgive Kyo? After all of this, did Kyo really have a right to expect it? He sighed, looking at his shoes, and then glanced at Yuki.

 

“Kyo? Something wrong?”

 

Kyo went back to studying his shoelace. “What if I mess up?”

 

Yuki looked puzzled. “At martial arts? Or the piano?”

 

“No, at being friends.”

 

“Oh. It's okay. Nobody's perfect. I'm sure I will.”

 

Kyo highly doubted Yuki had ever messed up anything in his life. “I don't really… know how.”

 

Yuki raised his eyebrows and gave Kyo a teasing smile. “Did you want a study guide?”

 

Kyo sighed a little and rolled his eyes. “It'd help.”

 

Yuki laughed and put an arm around Kyo's shoulders. “Rule number one: don't worry. Rule number two: be yourself. That's about all you need. The rest you play by ear, and of course you'll blunder, and so will I. It's not like I have hoards of experience.”

 

“But what if I… yell at you or something.”

 

Yuki raised his eyebrows. “Kyo, if you stopped yelling at me, that would be weird.”

 

Kyo looked up, relieved. “So then… it's okay if I get mad at you?”

 

“Of course. Be mad at me when I'm acting stupid. It's good for me.” He smiled. “It's kind of like… things won't really change all that much. We're still… playing the same game. So you can spar with me, or yell at me, or play with me, or do whatever you want. I just want us to be on the same team, that's all.” He smiled. “Okay?”

 

Kyo hesitated. “But I can still try to beat you, right?”

 

Yuki laughed. “Sure, if you want to.”

 

Kyo smiled a little, relishing this feeling of someone genuinely liking him, wanting him as a teammate. All this time, he'd been jealous because he wasn't as good as Yuki, but now Yuki was inviting him to be part of the same team. That meant Yuki thought he, Kyo, was valuable. No more jealousy. There was no room for that, because now they were working together. “Okay,” he said. Then he grinned, and wrapped his arm around Yuki's shoulders. “Thanks for picking me.”

 

Yuki laughed again, but looked a bit uncomfortable. “Anytime,” he said, but his shoulders had gone stiff.

 

Kyo let go, disappointed. Apparently he couldn't hug Yuki whenever he wanted. He'd really thought Yuki was different from the rest of the family. Maybe he'd gotten his hopes too high. But hey, at least they could hang out together and stuff, even if Yuki couldn't quite look past the cat as much as he claimed.

 

“Oh, Kyo…” Kyo turned. Yuki looked apologetic, and like he'd completely read Kyo's train of thought. “Kyo, it's not you. Really. I'm just… not really used to being touched.”

 

Kyo frowned. He didn't really want Yuki to lie to make him feel better.

 

“Seriously, Kyo,” Yuki insisted. “I'm the same way with Haru, and even Honda-san. Just ask them. It's really not you. I promise.”

 

Kyo paused. Yuki looked sincere. And he had seen Yuki stiffen when Haru touched him. “Why's that, though? I mean, your parents touched you, right?” Yuki looked away and said nothing. “Yuki?”

 

“Yes.” His voice was flat.

 

Kyo hesitated. This happened sometimes, where he would see that Yuki really wore more than a mask. Maybe he wore several, and layered them or something. It was like he compartmentalized his personality, and only let certain pieces of it show, even to his close friends. Like turning dirty snow over, so it looked white again. Somewhat saddened, Kyo wondered if he would ever really know his cousin. “It's okay; I won't ask,” he said quietly. They'd been friends for what, half an hour? He wasn't going to bulldoze Yuki's soul. Yuki seemed to relax, and looked relieved. “So, you'd rather I not touch you?”

 

Yuki looked back at him, and seemed to really be thinking it over. “No… it's okay sometimes. Just… keep in mind that my gut reaction is to pull away, whether I really want to or not.”

 

“Okay.” Kyo paused for a moment. “But it's really not… at least partly because I'm the cat?”

 

Yuki blinked and looked confused, like the thought had never even occurred to him. “Why would that make any difference?”

 

Kyo opened his mouth to respond, but instead broke into a soft smile and looked away, briefly closing his eyes. Kamis, it felt good. It felt so, so good. He'd somehow found that perfect warm spot on a cold, rainy day, and he only wished he'd seen it before. “I guess it wouldn't,” he replied at last, still smiling. To think it would be Yuki.

 

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

A/N 2: Yuki's sudden panic attack when Kyo hugged him might be a bit confusing. The fact is, much as he wanted to be friends with Kyo, he never thought it would actually happen, and never bothered to think about the problems it might cause.

 

*You've probably seen this in mangas or on animes. Kneeling is very popular in Japan for expressing extreme contrition, relief, gratitude, sorrow, or any other extreme emotion. It's a sign of submission and respect, and is almost instinctive.