Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Ebony and Ivory ❯ Disagreeing with Akito ( Chapter 23 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, because if I did, I would be clearer on exactly why Akito has to pretend to be a guy than Natsuki Takaya is. Not that I'm criticizing her or anything, but that part's always gotten on my nerves…

 

A/N: This chapter picks up immediately after the previous one. By the way, please let me know how I'm doing with Akito. She's a really hard character to get right.

 

 

CHAPTER 23: Disagreeing with Akito

 

It took a moment to register. Main House. Tomorrow. Akito. Then the panic struck. Yuki rose to his feet and opened the door again. “Shigure, did he say why?”

 

“Does he ever?” asked Shigure.

 

Yuki stood at the door. He felt Kyo watching him from behind. “It might be nothing,” Kyo said. “Sometimes he summons people for nothing, just to scare them.”

 

Yuki merely stood, staring straight ahead. “Yeah,” he said at last. “Yeah, probably.” He sighed. “I think I'll be in my room for a little while.”

 

After about fifteen minutes, there was a knock on Yuki's door. “Come in,” he said.

 

Kyo opened the door. “Hey.”

 

“Hi.”

 

“You okay?”

 

Yuki smiled. “Yeah, I'll be fine. I mean, he couldn't really be upset at me. I didn't skip New Years, and I even talked to him for a few minutes at the banquet. He doesn't really have any ammunition. Unless…” Yuki broke off, suddenly struck by a thought so terrible he couldn't say it.

 

“Unless what?”

 

“Nothing. It's nothing.” Yuki forced himself to be calm, and sighed. There was no way Akito could know about that.

 

Everyone was tense the next afternoon. Honda-san offered to go with Yuki to the Main House, but Yuki shook his head. “I have to do this alone,” he said, smiling. “Don't worry.”

 

“Right,” Kyo said. “Yuki's a tough guy. He can take care of himself.”

 

Yuki gave him a little smile. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” He put on his coat and gloves. “I'll probably be back before dinner.”

 

“All right,” Tohru said with a smile. “Come home safely.”

 

Yuki smiled at her and Kyo, and walked out. His smile faded once he was in the woods. He hoped no one was worried about him. He wasn't really afraid. It irked him, though, how that one terrible thought kept trying to work its way to the front of his mind. He tried to shrug it off.

 

After a little while, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned. “Kyo?”

 

“Oh, hey.”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I'm taking a walk.”

 

Yuki blinked. Then he smiled a little. “Kyo, I'm okay.”

 

“I know you're okay.”

 

“Then why are you coming with me?”

 

“I'm not coming with you. I'm going for a walk. You got a problem with that?”

 

“Then why are you going this way?”

 

“Because I feel like it. I can go whatever way I want. And I want to go this way. So there.”

 

“Kyo, I'm really fine. You don't need to come.”

 

“I'm not coming with you! I'm walking! All right with you?” Kyo folded his arms, his eyes daring Yuki to argue.

 

Yuki had to smile. “I guess.”

 

“Fine then. I'm taking a walk.”

 

“Okay. Take a walk.”

 

They both walked in silence for a while, Kyo a few steps behind Yuki. Yuki laughed a little, inwardly. Kyo could be really funny when he cared. Finally, Kyo caught up to him. “Hey, as long as we're going in the same direction, we might as well walk together.”

 

“Might as well,” Yuki agreed.

 

“Because otherwise it would be weird.”

 

“Very weird.”

 

“So… how's tennis going for you at school? It kind of stinks that we can't play volleyball anymore because of the snow.”

 

Yuki let himself be distracted. “It's going pretty well. I like it.”

 

“That's good. I'm kind of sick of winter, though.”

 

“It will be spring soon,” Yuki remarked.

 

“Yeah. And then we won't have to spar with that damn mat.”

 

“What's wrong with the mat?”

 

“It keeps giving me rug burn.”

 

Yuki laughed a little. “Sorry. I'll try to send you into the snow next time.”

 

“Keep talking, you damn rat. One of these days I'm going to send you into the snow. Or grass. Whatever it happens to be.”

 

“One of these days,” Yuki said with a smile.

 

They continued talking like that for some time, and then Kyo turned a corner just before the Main House came into sight. “See you,” he said.

 

“See you later,” Yuki called back. He smiled. “Thanks, Kyo,” he said softly. Then he walked on, feeling somehow a little stronger.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Yuki knelt before Akito, waiting for him to turn around. He tried to feel calm and self-assured. He hoped he looked it. At last, Akito turned.

 

“I've noticed that you've been feeling well lately. Is that correct?”

 

Yuki blinked. “Yes.”

 

“I've heard that you're becoming more involved with things at school. I'm happy for you.”

 

Yuki just waited. Eventually Akito would come to his point.

 

“Why do you look so nervous?” Akito asked, raising him to his feet. “You always look as though you expect to be hurt. It's disconcerting for others, you know.”

 

“Akito, why am I here?”

 

“So quick and to the point. And here I had thought we could visit for a while.” He stepped away from him, and Yuki knelt again. “I wanted to ask you something,” Akito said at last.

 

“Yes?” Yuki asked, when Akito did not continue.

 

“Why didn't you tell me you wanted to play the piano?”

 

Yuki felt his blood turn cold, and he sat, frozen. He knew. How could he possibly know?

 

“Answer me,” Akito said.

 

Yuki could not formulate a reply. His mouth had gone dry.

 

“Well, it is of no consequence,” Akito said. “I seem to recall, however, that I forbade you to play the piano. You might have asked, though. Instead of merely going off on your own and directly disobeying me.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Yuki said. He was shaking.

 

“Why are you so afraid?” Akito asked. He sat down beside Yuki and stroked his cheek. “I'm not angry about the piano.” Yuki remained silent, frozen at Akito's touch. He knew this game too well. “Yuki, do I look angry?”

 

Yuki sighed. “No, Akito.”

 

“On the contrary, Kureno tells me that you are quite talented. I'm proud of you.” Yuki said nothing. “Yuki, when someone gives you a compliment, you should say thank you. Have you no manners?”

 

“Thank you,” Yuki said. He had already given up the piano for lost. He only hoped the punishment would not be too severe. Knowing Akito, it would be.

 

“Now, what concerns me,” Akito said, “is that you seem to be casting your pearls before swine. Or shall I say… cats?”

 

Yuki blinked, then looked up at Akito, so taken aback that he forgot to be frightened. “What?”

 

“You seem to have quite a penchant for cats lately. Or, more specifically, the cat.”

 

Yuki furrowed his brow in confusion while some suppressed part of him exploded into sheer panic. “You mean Kyo? What does he have to do with anything?”

 

“It has come to my attention that you've been playing for him.”

 

Yuki figured there was no point in trying to deny the piano anymore. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say about Kyo. He looked up at Akito, trying to figure out where this conversation was going. The frenzy in the back of his mind was escalating, threatening to take over the rest of it.

 

“Is it true?” Akito asked.

 

There was no way Akito could know about Kyo listening unless Kureno had seen it. Therefore, there was no point in denying it. “Yes.”

 

“You would play for that thing?”

 

Yuki swallowed. “Yes.”

 

“What has he done to you to make you do that?”

 

“He hasn't done anything to me, Akito. He just likes—liked—to listen.” Past tense. As far as Yuki was concerned, the piano no longer existed.

 

“And you see no problem with this arrangement?”

 

“I said I'm sorry for the piano…”

 

“No, I'm talking in general. It seems that you and he are becoming (it pains me to say it) friends.”

 

Yuki blinked. The panic disappeared and left black despair in its place. “Is that a problem?” he asked slowly, playing dumb. Kami-sama, no…

 

“Oh, Yuki.” Akito stroked his hair. His fingers felt like ice. “It seems that your misunderstanding runs deeper than I thought.”

 

“You've never gotten upset about me being friends with anyone before.” Not that it was ever an issue before.

 

“Yuki, I have no problem at all with you making friends. And I honestly don't have a problem with people being friends with the cat, as disgusting as he is. But for you, Yuki, to be friends with the cat… honestly, you deserve better than that.”

 

Yuki said nothing. He knew. He knew what was going to happen, and he refused to acknowledge it.

 

“I fear that you have been away for too long. You have forgotten your position in this family. Did you really think it would be perfectly fine for the rat and the cat to be friends? It's against your very nature. You are throwing the entire family out of order. How could you do something like that? I'm very hurt by you; I thought I'd raised you better.” He stopped stroking Yuki's hair, and took him by the chin. “I'm afraid you've been very deluded. Perhaps it is his influence on you. You really mustn't be friends with that monster, Yuki.”

 

“He's not a—”

 

“What?” Akito interrupted sharply. Yuki fell silent, and Akito's voice went soft—dangerously soft. “Were you about to disagree with me?”

 

Yuki looked down. Fifteen minutes ago he had felt so strong, and now… now he was cringing like a child before Akito's voice. “No.” He was shaking.

 

“He is a monster, correct?”

 

Yuki closed his eyes, hating himself. “Yes,” he whispered at last, in a voice filled with self-loathing.

 

Akito grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to look into his eyes. “Your tone lacks conviction.” Then he calmed herself, and touched Yuki's cheek. “You poor boy. You really are pathetic, aren't you? You must see yourself poorly to want the cat as your friend. But I will help you. I will be your savior. Stop being his friend, Yuki. I forbid it.”

 

Some part of Yuki that was still in complete denial felt angry. How could Akito forbid a friendship?

 

“Of course the cat will be very confused. I'm afraid he's come to the conclusion that… that you actually like him, Yuki. But you mustn't tell him I forbid the friendship. Merely break it off. You can do it gradually. The best way to become something is to act it, so if you act like you are not his friend, eventually you will feel that way. And then you will be safe from the wiles of that creature. Make him believe you are doing it. After all, he has had the audacity to assume that he can be the friend of the rat. He deserves to hurt a little. Of course, he doesn't really have feelings, and you certainly don't need to feel sorry for him. This really is the best, you know. You must believe me.”

 

“Akito…” “I would hurt you!” Yuki winced at the memory of his own words, spoken back before he had convinced himself this wouldn't happen. When his head was clear.

 

“And I will help you, too. I will meet with that thing in a month's time, just to make sure he no longer harbors any false impressions. If he does, I will assume that you are still deluding yourself and him, and I will be forced to remind you of who he really is, and take his bracelet. Permanently. Just to show you that I really do have your best interests at heart. After all, a creature like him… no one should have to be friends with him, least of all you.”

 

Yuki stared straight ahead. This couldn't be happening. “Why do you care?” he asked at last. “Why won't you just leave it alone?”

 

“Yuki…” Akito crooned, taking his hand. “Of course I care about you. I always have. I am always kind to you. Always honest with you. You know that. I merely want to free you from that creature. It may be hard for you at first, but you can always come to me if you need moral support. It is like… when someone is being abused, and you need to break free. Of course I would not seem very loving if I merely let you keep being his friend.”

 

Yuki closed his eyes. How could he do this? How could he take away the one thing that wasn't supposed to be taken away?

 

“Oh, and Yuki, about the piano…”

 

Yuki looked up.

 

“Of course I should punish you for disobeying, but instead I will make you an offer. After all, as I said to Kureno earlier, a talent is a terrible thing to waste.”

 

Yuki waited.

 

“If you wish to continue playing the piano, I will pay for you to have lessons, from the teacher of your choice. You may play as much as you want… on my piano, for me. After all, no other piano is worthy of you.”

 

Yuki forced himself not to cry. “No, thank you.”

 

Akito rose to his feet. “It disgusts me that you will play for the cat and not for me. Fine, then. You are never to touch another piano unless you are playing for me. Do you understand?”

 

Yuki squeezed his eyes shut. “Yes, Akito.”

 

“Get out of my sight.”

 

Yuki was only too happy to comply. He still felt dazed upon leaving the Main House. He thought about the piano. He would have to leave a note for Saito. And he wouldn't be able to go back and get his pieces. Too risky. Besides, what would he do with them, if he could no longer play? He began to word his letter in his head. It should be short, simple, and to the point. Dear Saito-sensei, I got caught. I'm sorry. Please do not come looking for me. I'll never forget you. Goodbye. Yuki sighed. He blinked his eyes. He wouldn't let himself cry. All he could do was hope that Saito really would not come after him. Maybe he should make it firmer, perhaps give him some hint as to how serious the situation was. And he would have to find some way to explain it to… no, he would not think of Kyo. He wouldn't.

 

“Hey,” said a voice. Yuki looked up. Kyo was walking from a side direction, coming back to the corner where they had parted on the walk there.

 

Yuki stood still, letting him catch up. Kyo had never done anything like this before. Never had he done something that so obviously said, “You matter to me.” Yuki pressed his lips together. It's all a dream. It's all a dream and I'll wake up soon. This can't really be happening. “Hi, Kyo.” I'm sorry I agreed with Akito. I didn't mean it.

 

Kyo fell into step beside Yuki. He looked him over and gave a sigh of relief. Checking for bruises. Yuki almost laughed. He had been worried about bruises? They said nothing as they walked. What was there to say? After about fifteen minutes, Kyo turned to Yuki. “You know, I still owe you for takoyaki.”

 

Yuki closed his eyes for a moment, and shook his head. “I'm not hungry.”

 

Kyo nodded. “Okay.”

 

They walked the rest of the way in silence. At last they arrived at home.

 

“Welcome back,” Tohru said, offering a tentative smile. “Was it… okay?”

 

Yuki managed to smile at her. “I just need to be alone for a little while,” he said softly, then went up to his room. He heard Tohru's voice down below.

 

“Is he okay?”

 

“I don't know,” Kyo replied.

 

“You didn't ask?”

 

“No. Why would I?”

 

“Um… yes. I'm sorry.”

 

“You don't need to apologize. It's just… Akito's one of those things you don't ask about.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Yuki closed the door of his room and sat down on his bed. Then he stood up, went to his desk, and wrote his note to Saito.

 

Dear Saito-sensei,

 

I need to stop taking lessons. I got caught, and I can't play anymore. I'm really sorry. And I'm sorry… that I don't think I'll be able to come back this time, no matter how much time passes. I guess it was too good to last—all of it. I should have known it. Maybe I got too careless… I don't know. I only wish that I didn't have to be the one to destroy it.

 

Please don't come looking for me. I know you're probably worried. I'll be okay. But I'm protecting a friend, and I need to do this alone. Maybe someday I'll see you again. Part of me wants to, but then I worry if it would just put you in danger. It seems like it's always the ones I care about who get hurt. I'm sorry. I'll never forget you. Thank you for everything that you've done for me.

 

~Yuki

 

As an afterthought, Yuki gave Saito the address of the temple he had played at, and said Saito could have his music. If anyone deserved it, Saito did. At last, Yuki put the letter in an envelope and sealed it, writing Saito's name on the cover. He would put it on Saito's door tomorrow, when Saito was sure to be out. Yuki didn't want to have to say goodbye face to face. Too many things could go wrong. And he might cry. Yuki couldn't cry. Not anymore. If he cried, he would lose his will.

 

Yuki tried desperately to think of something else that needed to be done. There had to be some business he had to take care of about the piano. Oh… he had brought home some staff paper from his last lesson, hidden in a newspaper, that he hadn't had time to drop off. He would have to get rid of that. He found some matches that he had for candles, and lit the paper on fire. He watched it burn, watched the ashes fall into the trash. At last, the entire thing was consumed, and Yuki moved around the garbage so the ashes wouldn't show.

 

Something else. Please something else. His last paycheck from Saito… he didn't really need it. He would put that in the envelope. This meant that he would have to open the envelope and get a new one, and then write Saito's name on the new envelope. That left the old envelope to burn. A slip of his elbow, and the ink spilled on his desk. It missed the letter, but he had to clean up the ink. None had gotten on the carpet. But now the ink was on his hands, and he needed to wash them. Thoroughly. Then he went back to his room. Time's up.

 

What to do about Kyo? Yuki collapsed on his bed and lay back. He should have seen it coming. Really, he had, even at the very beginning. When Kyo had said he would even tell Akito if Yuki wanted, Yuki had known. When Kyo had hugged him that first time, he'd known. That was why he panicked. He had never thought the friendship would actually happen, and hadn't bothered to think through the possible consequences. And then Kyo had turned tables on him, and he'd known, he'd known it couldn't work, but he'd wanted it so badly… What had he been thinking?

 

The rat had never been allowed to be friends with the cat. He had been fooling himself for the last… six months, at least, into thinking it could work, that they were stronger than this; that maybe, just maybe, Akito wouldn't notice or would be willing to turn a blind eye. As though Akito had ever turned a blind eye to Yuki, his favorite. Kami-sama, how could I possibly have been so stupid? No, on second thought it hadn't been stupidity. It had been pure stubborn defiance, like the piano, and now both were gone. And he had to drag Kyo down with him, all because of his selfish desire to be his friend. How could he have even dared to imagine that Kyo could survive this unscathed? Yuki felt a surge of guilt. Kyo could have had no idea what he was signing onto when he had decided to be Yuki's friend. Maybe letting him go truly was the right thing to do… even if it was painful for both of them.

 

But no, Yuki refused to think about the implications of this. He wouldn't think about how much he would be hurting Kyo. He wouldn't think about how much it would hurt to lose Kyo. He had a mission. He had a month to convince Kyo that there was no longer any friendship between them, or Kyo would be in a living hell for the rest of his life.

 

Now, how to implement this. It would have to be gradual, or Kyo would suspect something. And it would have to make some sort of sense. He would have to pick something that bothered him, and blow it out of proportion. He would have to do things to get Kyo mad at him. He couldn't go too fast, but going to slow was even more dangerous, because then Kyo might not be ready in time. His prime goal right now was to get Kyo ready for his meeting in a month. That was all that mattered.

 

He would have to look for opportunities, and plan ahead what he was going to say. It would probably become natural after a while. That was a scary thought. What if… but no, Yuki would not let Akito win. He would not start hating Kyo. He would hold onto the memories of the last few months for the rest of his life, no matter how much they hurt, whether or not… but no, he wouldn't think about the future. A month. That was as far as he could think. A month in which he would have to tear his best friend to pieces. “I'm sorry, Kyo-nii,” Yuki whispered aloud. He wanted to cry, but stopped himself. He bit his lip to keep it from trembling.

 

How much longer should he wait before beginning the change? It couldn't be more than a day or two. But it would have to be gradual enough that Kyo didn't make the connection to Akito. Yuki could use the piano as ammunition, if he didn't tell Kyo he was banned from it. It would put a definite strain on their relationship if Kyo were no longer allowed to go with Yuki to hear him play. But it had to be more than that. He had to insult Kyo. Idiot. Stupid cat. He couldn't leave any of them unsaid. Hopefully… hopefully Kyo would start to hate him back again. That would make it easier on both of them, even if it meant there was no turning back.

 

Yuki blinked his eyes again. He wouldn't cry. And he wouldn't leave this room until he knew he could play the part. All that mattered was making sure Kyo was ready. He had to protect Kyo, whatever the cost. If that meant giving him up, so be it.