Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Ebony and Ivory ❯ Disappearing ( Chapter 27 )

Disclaimer: If I owned Fruits Basket, I would have had to live outside the continent of North America, and I haven't ever even been off it, unlike the illustrious Natsuki Takaya, who does own Fruits Basket, and lives in Japan.

 

A/N: *Sigh. You're probably wondering how I dare show my face again after that last chapter. Again, I apologize. I did end it as best as I could. *-* Have any of you heard the song “Beauty from Pain” by Superchick? It really makes me think of how Yuki's feeling right now. I think I feel worse for him than for Kyo—at least Kyo has a reasonably clear conscience, and he can still reach out to the people around him. Yuki is alone in the dark, and needs to keep it that way at all costs. And he knows—or at least thinks—that it's all his fault.

 

A/N 2: Please keep reading! I promise things will get a little better in the next chapter, at least for Kyo!

 

 

CHAPTER 27: Disappearing

 

Haru decided that the atmosphere on Tuesday was as tense as guitar strings. No one asked Yuki and Kyo questions. They did not sit together. But this time Yuki ostracized himself, and sat alone. Kyo was quiet, and didn't say much, but he seemed glad for the company of the others. He actually smiled at Haru at one point, as if to say, “Thanks for being here with me.” He seemed subdued.

 

It wasn't until Thursday that Haru asked Kyo what had happened. “He said he hates me,” Kyo said simply, and that was the end of the conversation. Haru couldn't believe it. Yuki had never hated Kyo. That much was obvious, even back when they used to fight all the time. He had said it, yes, but he had never meant it. Obviously, though, this instance was different in some way. Yuki had been serious.

 

Later that day, Haru hesitantly approached Yuki. “Hey. Can I talk to you?”

 

“I'm kind of busy, Haru.”

 

“Yuki, what did he do?”

 

“I don't want to talk about it. It has nothing to do with you.”

 

“Um, yeah, it sort of does, since both of you are my friends.”

 

“I never said you couldn't be friends with Kyo. Just don't talk to me about it.”

 

“Yuki, are you going to start pushing everyone away?”

 

Yuki paused, looked sad for a moment, but then gave a short sigh of exasperation. “Haru, will you get off my back?” He walked away quickly. Haru merely stood and watched.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Kyo saw Yuki on the back porch and went out. He had to know. “Do you hate me just because I'm the cat?”

 

Yuki didn't answer.

 

“Because if you do, that's just as stupid as when I used to hate you because you were the rat that tri—” Kyo broke off. The rat that tricked the cat. They had been friends at the beginning, the rat and the cat, and the rat had tricked the cat, by pretending to be its friend. “You really are the rat, aren't you?” Kyo muttered. “I liked you, trusted you, and you tricked me. Tricked me into thinking that we were friends, and then threw it in my face.”

 

“No!” Yuki cried, rising to his feet. For a second he looked severely startled, but then it faded, or rather was covered by ice. “I am not getting into this with you, stupid cat.” He started to go inside. Kyo attacked from behind, and pushed Yuki through the paper door. Yuki rose to his feet inside, looking shocked. Then he attacked Kyo, and then they were fighting. Yuki seemed stunned, and, to the shock of both of them, Kyo managed to land a few punches. Yuki won, but was bruised by the end of it.

 

“You know it's true,” Kyo groaned, standing up. “It's true.”

 

Yuki said nothing. It was as good as a confirmation. Kyo had been right about that damn rat all along. It had all been a trick, a subtle one, one that only Yuki could ever carry out.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Yuki locked himself into his room. Don't let it get to you. Yuki sighed. Too late. Now there was really no way to go back. Even if this entire thing blew over, Kyo would just think it was another trick. It was starting to sink in for Yuki that this actually was permanent, and the realization was taking its toll on him. Already he wasn't eating enough, and staying up later than he should.

 

Over the next several days, Yuki's relationships with others became strained, especially with Haru. Haru asked him several times what was going on, and Yuki every time refused to tell him. Momiji was also insatiable, and Yuki eventually started snapping at them to get them off his case, until he was actually criticizing them. On Wednesday Haru went Black at him.

 

“Do you think you can just be like this?” he yelled. “I don't know what you're mad at Kyo about, but I know that I didn't do anything, and Momiji didn't do anything, and neither did anyone else! If you're going to have a problem with Kyo, fine! Have a problem with Kyo! But leave the rest of us out of it!

 

Yuki sighed. “You're right,” he replied. “I'm not mad at any of you.” Then he walked away.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Kyo and Yuki got ready for PE on Thursday. This had been a slightly awkward time over the last several weeks, especially since there lockers were next to each other. Yuki changed quickly into his shorts, and then scrambled for his shirt. Kyo happened to glance in his direction at someone else, and then started when he turned around. There was a bruise on Yuki's shoulder. When had he gotten that? Kyo remembered their fight from several days ago, when he had managed to get Yuki in the shoulder. It couldn't possibly be the same bruise, could it? He hadn't hit him that hard.

 

“Why are you staring at me?” Yuki cried, startled.

 

“I'm not,” Kyo said, turning away. Yeah right, damn rat, like I had some overwhelming desire to look at your chest. He promptly forgot the incident and went out to join his team. He didn't think about Yuki again until he happened to see Yuki sitting on the bench. That was weird. Yuki was never benched.

 

“Hey Sohma, pay attention!” one of his teammates shouted, and Kyo refocused on the game.

 

That evening and the next, Yuki skipped dinner. Kyo was beginning to feel irritated at the empty place setting, especially since Tohru was evidently worried about it. “Where's Yuki this time?” he asked on Saturday.

 

“Out,” Shigure said. “He didn't say when he would be back.”

 

“I thought we should wait for him,” Tohru said. “But… but the food has already been made for half an hour. And I had to reheat it just for the table now. So I think we should start… and he can join us when he gets back.”

 

“Sounds fine to me,” Kyo said. “I'm starving. Have you been doing this on a regular basis? Making stuff and then waiting to serve it?”

 

“Yes… I'm sorry.”

 

“I don't care. Just don't worry so much. If that damn Yuki wants to act like an idiot, let him.”

 

“It's just that he eats so little of what I leave out for him,” Tohru said. “He won't even let me reheat it. He says he likes it, but… I'm worried.”

 

“I'll talk to him,” Shigure said. “Don't worry about it. Let's eat.”

 

When Yuki came in, it had already been dark for a few hours. Kyo came to the top of the stairs and listened.

 

“Yuki-kun,” Shigure said. “You didn't come home for dinner again. Is something wrong?”

 

“I'm sorry,” Yuki said. “I got caught up in reading.”

 

“Make sure you eat something now,” the dog replied.

 

“Okay.”

 

Kyo continued to listen, until he heard Yuki leaving the kitchen. “Is this all you're eating?” asked Shigure.

 

“I ate while I was out,” Yuki said. Then he paused. “Thank you, though, Honda-san. It was delicious.”

 

“Yes,” Tohru replied. “Would you like me… to set it aside for you? In case you get hungry later?”

 

“That's all right,” Yuki said. “But thank you.” His footsteps approached the stairs, and Kyo disappeared into his bedroom before Yuki could catch him eavesdropping.

 

Yuki's excuse about eating elsewhere didn't sound particularly genuine. But Kyo pushed aside his confusion. If Yuki wanted to act like an idiot, let him. He wasn't getting involved. He'd have to be insane.

 

But the next morning, Yuki didn't come down for breakfast, and Kyo realized that he hadn't come down to breakfast for several days before that as well. It was just that, since it was morning, Kyo hadn't noticed, being too focused on waking up. When he had seen Yuki over the last few days, on the way to school, Yuki had seemed to take even longer than usual to wake up, if that were possible.

 

Curious, Kyo began watching Yuki. After all, it was his duty to Tohru to pay attention when she wasn't around to do so, such as during PE. There were enough strange incidents to observe that Kyo didn't really have to watch for them. At one point, Yuki, who was on the opposite side of Kyo, had stumbled, looked pale, and then made a foul and got benched. Kyo was shocked. Yuki never fouled. He never made mistakes. Kyo looked over at Yuki, who was now sitting on the bench with his head on his lap. It occurred to Kyo, then, to wonder if Yuki had fouled on purpose. Was he not feeling well? Kyo wondered if he should approach Yuki. Then, deciding against this idea, he asked Haru to do it instead.

 

He watched out of the corner of his eye as Haru approached Yuki in the cafeteria. Yuki always sat by himself these days, at the far corner of the room. He told everyone that he wanted to be alone, so everyone sat with Kyo. They seemed to be on his side, which was a comfort. A shallow comfort, but a comfort all the same. For once, Kyo didn't really care about winning. He watched, now, as Yuki turned Haru away with a small smile. Haru came back, hands shoved in his pockets.

 

“He says he's fine. I don't believe him. He looks pale.”

 

There was a pause at the table. Momiji looked across the cafeteria at his cousin. “Does anyone believe him anymore?” he asked.

 

“Hanajima,” Kyo said. “You know waves, right? What's going on with Yuki?”

 

Hanajima was quiet for a moment. “Chaos,” was all she said.

 

Kyo looked over at Yuki. Such a short time ago, but so distant it seemed almost dreamlike, Kyo would have gone over, wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and chatted with him until he smiled again. He felt a sudden irritation that he couldn't do this now. What are you doing to yourself, you damn rat? Kyo sighed. The memory of when that was acceptable was so vague that Kyo could barely place it. He felt suddenly angry at himself that he even wanted to help Yuki. What do I care? Besides, he never was like that. Not really. It was all a lie. He turned back to his food, realizing he had lost his appetite. He ate anyway, then went back to class.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Yuki walked through the woods. It was cold. It was good to be cold. It meant he was still alive. The dead were cold, but they didn't feel it. It was like living in water. When you lived in it, you no longer felt it. Yuki wondered how long it would be before he no longer felt the cold, or whether it would get to that point.

 

Mayuko-sensei had approached him this morning, to ask what was wrong. She said he looked pale. He had looked in the mirror, and had seen it too. There were dark circles under his eyes. He felt like some part of him was missing, like he was only half of what he once was. He felt shaky, like a strong wind could knock him over. It occurred to him that maybe he should eat more. It had been a week since he had gone to dinner. He couldn't sit at the table. Not with everyone staring at him, wondering what was wrong, so close that they could see how his eyes were bloodshot with lack of sleep. And he didn't want to eat. Nothing tasted good. He just wanted to be gone.

 

Mayuko-sensei had threatened to tell Hatori, and Kakeru had insisted on sitting with him at lunch, to make sure he was eating. Yuki had thought he was eating the lunch he took everyday, but today, when he had actually cleaned his plate, he had felt sick afterwards, like he wasn't used to eating that much. He had almost thrown up, and had made a foul at PE again in order to get benched. He was doing this far too regularly. Once again, he felt Kyo's eyes on him. Probably thinking he was pathetic. Yuki didn't care anymore.

 

He leaned against a tree, letting the cold seep into his bones. He felt it more these days. That was good, because he felt everything else less. If the cold merely numbed him, it wouldn't be enough. It had to hurt him. His lungs rasped when he took deep breaths. It hurt. That was good too, but it wouldn't be good if he got sent to the Main House because of it. He would have to start carrying his inhaler with him, maybe.

 

At last, long after Yuki was certain that everyone else was finished eating, he went home. He ignored the plate of food on the counter. He had eaten too much for lunch, and he wasn't hungry. He closed his bedroom door behind him. He heard voices at the bottom of the stairs.

 

“What's up? You look upset.” Kyo, evidently talking to Honda-san. Even hearing Kyo's voice hurt now. It felt like hairline cracks all along the ice with which he had surrounded his heart.

 

There was a pause, then Honda-san's voice. “He didn't eat again.”

 

Yuki didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore.