Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Ebony and Ivory ❯ Cringing ( Chapter 42 )

A/N: This chapter's kind of talky… sorry.

 

CHAPTER 42: Cringing

 

Yuki sat working in his garden. He hadn't done so for a while. But this week he had worked out here nearly every day. Kyo seemed a little worried about him, so Yuki made sure to spar with him whenever he returned. Kyo seemed to have lost what little defense he had in his enthusiasm at being able to fight with Yuki again. It was the first time Yuki could remember ending the fight quickly when he didn't want to.

 

He looked at the sun. I should probably get back. Yuki sighed. He wasn't sure why he felt so depressed. He had gotten over being locked in the attic. He hadn't even been in there for very long. But it had been long enough for Akito. Yuki shuddered to think that Akito was still in his mind, still making biting comments. Will he ever leave?

 

Yuki closed his eyes, hugging his knees. He saw the room around him again, and hastily opened them. He looked at the forest around him, but suddenly he was shivering. I'm completely alone. If he came here, and I shouted for help, no one would hear me.

 

“Yuki?”

 

Yuki gave a cry of pure terror, jumping. Then he collapsed. It was just Kyo.

 

“Are you okay?” Kyo asked, considerably startled at Yuki's violent reaction.

 

“I'm fine,” Yuki said, shaking a little. “You just scared me.”

 

“What were you thinking about?”

 

“Nothing.” He laughed a little. Kyo's expression was priceless. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I wanted to check on you. It's getting late. You're usually back by now.” He sat down beside Yuki. “Is something wrong? You're here a lot.”

 

“Well Kyo, there's a lot of work to do. We're almost at the height of spring.”

 

Kyo paused. “Yuki, I really, really, really want to hang out with you. Can I come with you to the garden?”

 

Yuki sensed a slight desperation in Kyo's voice, and felt a pang of guilt. Kyo only had a little time left. No! “I won't let them,” he said softly.

 

“What?”

 

He shook his head. “Nothing.” I've got to think of something, before it's too late. “Let's go back.”

 

“We can hang out?”

 

Yuki smiled. “Of course.” They got near the house, and Yuki unbuttoned his top button and went into a fight stance. Kyo grinned, and started his attack. Yuki stopped or dodged all of his punches, then gently punched Kyo while his guard was down, enough to push him away, but not to knock him down. “Kyo, this is pointless.”

 

“What?” Shock and hurt spread over Kyo's face, stopping his attack.

 

“Why do you do so much better when you fight Haru than when you fight me? Pretend I'm Haru. Defend yourself.”

 

“I… you damn rat, I don't need to hear that from you. Come on! Let's fight!”

 

“Defend yourself, then. I don't want to end the fight.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

 

The fight began again, and lasted for about a minute and a half before Yuki again caught Kyo off guard. “Defend yourself,” he said again, as Kyo was about to renew his attack.

 

“Shut up!”

 

Yuki caught Kyo's fists. “Don't lose your temper. If you lose your temper, we can't fight anymore.”

 

A jolt of fear came into Kyo's eyes, and he nodded. “Right. Sorry.”

 

“It's you I'm concerned about. Come on, let's go again.”

 

This time when Yuki caught Kyo off guard, he stopped a split second before landing his punch. “Block,” he ordered.

 

“Huh? Oh!” Kyo blocked, and soon became preoccupied with defending himself against Yuki. At last, he managed to dodge enough so that he could attack again, then got carried away. Again, Yuki gently punched him off his guard.

 

“Kyo, pretend I'm Haru. You're getting too excited. You're too eager to attack.”

 

“But I want to fight you!”

 

“Fighting is half defense. Why do you think I always win?”

 

Anger flashed in Kyo's eyes.

 

“Don't get mad.”

 

“You're not helping!”

 

“Kyo, I'm not mocking you. I'm trying to work with you. Do you want to beat me or not?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then I'll give you a hint.”

 

“What?”

 

“Your offense is a match for mine. Also, you have more endurance in fights. The problem is you don't defend yourself, so I win before you have a chance to beat me.”

 

Kyo was staring. Yuki was telling him how to beat him? He felt a thrill of excitement. “Okay, so bring it on!”

 

But Kyo got too excited, and Yuki caught him off guard again. He sighed. “Kyo, I want to fight you for real. Come on. You should be able to block me. I'm not going that fast.”

 

Kyo sighed. “Okay. Sorry. Let's go.”

 

They worked for nearly half an hour. After this time, Kyo was finally focusing more on his defense. Yuki felt a sense of exaltation. He was actually fighting! He hadn't felt this good since he had used to fight with Kazuma. He still had the upper hand, but Kyo was actually beginning to hold his own. At last, Yuki felt himself tiring, and gathered up his strength to end the fight. Kyo picked himself up.

 

“That was awesome!” Yuki said, his eyes shining. “Do that every time!”

 

Kyo looked up, and grinned. He had never seen Yuki this enthusiastic about martial arts. “You really think I was doing well?”

 

“You were awesome! That's the most fun I've ever had fighting you!”

 

“Really?” Kyo struggled to his feet. He enjoyed the other kind of fighting more, and was slightly irritated that he needed to be this restrained. But it made sense. If he wanted to beat Yuki, he'd have to get used to it.

 

“What is about me that makes you want to throw yourself into fighting me like that?” Yuki asked, brushing a few dead leaves from Kyo's hair.

 

“What, haven't you ever had something that you were so excited you could do that you forgot how to do it?”

 

“No.”

 

Kyo stopped walking, and stared. “Seriously?”

 

Yuki smiled a little. “I don't get excited very easily.”

 

“That stinks.” He looked at his cousin. “Why not?”

 

“I'm just… more reserved, I guess.”

 

“Even your laughing is reserved. Especially over the last couple of days. Yuki… nothing happened, did it?”

 

“Nothing happened. I just… I don't know.” He laughed, lightly. “I kind of feel like something will break if I'm too loud.”

 

Kyo gave him a blank stare. “Okay…”

 

“That's actually one of the reasons I found you annoying at first, a long time ago. You were really loud. I wasn't used to it.”

 

Kyo sniffed. “Sorry.”

 

“Oh no, now I like it. I like it because I…”

 

Kyo looked at him. “You what?”

 

“I… I wish I could be like that.”

 

Kyo thought for a moment, then grinned. “So try it.”

 

“What?”

 

“Shout something.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Something that you think is exciting. Anything.”

 

“Um…”

 

“What's your favorite thing in the world to do?”

 

“Play…” Yuki stopped, his smile fading. “…piano,” he finished. “When you listened, and I would make up songs like that. That was… wonderful.”

 

“And the plan backfires,” Kyo said, sighing. “Is that what you've been so depressed about lately?”

 

“Actually, I've been trying not to think about it. I miss Saito-sensei.”

 

Suddenly Kyo's eyes widened. “Damn it.”

 

“What?” Yuki asked.

 

“I never called Saito-san to tell him that you're all right! Come on, let's go and see him.”

 

“No… Kyo, I… no, what if… Akito…”

 

“Akito only said you couldn't play piano, right? He doesn't even know about Saito-san.”

 

“That's the point!”

 

“Yuki, he misses you like hell. Come on, let's go.”

 

“But…”

 

“Why are you so afraid of that damn Akito anyway?”

 

Yuki clenched his fist. “You don't have your bracelet, Kyo.” He hated himself a moment after he said it. “No, I… I'm sorry, I just… I…”

 

Kyo sighed a little. “You go see him, then.”

 

“Kyo, I can't…”

 

“Are you going to keep letting Akito control you for the rest of your life? What's with you? You do whatever he wants you to do, and even when he doesn't have a hold on you, you're afraid of doing anything that might conceivably be considered disobeying him, or something that he might find out about. You act like he's god.”

 

“He is.”

 

“No he's not. He's not god any more than you're the rat.”

 

“And what about you?” Yuki yelled. “It's not like you're so high and mighty! You're just letting him lock you up. And you know, there's not a damn thing any of the rest of us can do about that if you won't even do anything for yourself.”

 

Kyo stared at him for a moment, shock, anger, and hurt evident in his eyes. He turned around and walked away. Yuki went after him, only to see him disappear onto the roof. He winced. He gave it a few minutes, then went up to the roof.

 

“I'm really sorry.”

 

Kyo sighed, not looking at him. “No, I guess you're right. I don't really have any right to criticize you. You were just being honest. And you shouldn't apologize for getting upset. Who do you think is going to hurt you if you actually say what you're feeling? I just… Yuki, I want…” He sighed. “I want you to stop cringing. You're always cringing. You cringe at your own anger. You cringe away from other people. You cringe when someone wants to get close to you. You keep hiding.” He looked at Yuki. “Why is that, Yuki?”

 

Yuki looked away. He had a sudden image in his mind, of him beginning to cry, and feeling the whip. “You're weak!” But Kyo showed emotion. And he wasn't weak. “I don't want to talk about it.”

 

There was a pause. “Tohru tells me you're still backing off from people at school,” Kyo said after a few minutes. You can't just do that because I'm not there to stop you.”

 

“I'm not backing away.”

 

“You don't talk during lunch.”

 

“I don't have anything to say.”

 

“Give me a break. You have plenty to say. You're just afraid to say it.” He looked at Yuki. “I want to hear it, Yuki. I want to hear what you're thinking.” Yuki closed his eyes and sat cross-legged, looking down. “What are you afraid of?”

 

Yuki put his forehead in his hands. “Kyo, please stop.”

 

Kyo sighed. “Yuki…” He paused, then touched Yuki's shoulder. “Will you at least call him? I got his number.”

 

“Call Akito?”

 

“Akito? Why mention him? No, call Saito-san.”

 

“Oh.” He sighed. “I'll have to explain.”

 

“Good. He deserves an explanation.”

 

“I'll have to tweak it, Kyo. Unless you want him to know about your true form.”

 

“Oh. Okay. So tweak it. You're pretty good at lying.”

 

Ouch. “I've never lied to Saito-sensei. I'll have to omit instead.” He sighed. “He's still at work right now. I'll call him after dinner.”

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>& gt;>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Saito didn't care anymore. He had to do something. Whatever happened, something had to be done, and from what Kyo had told him, his presence probably couldn't make things any worse. Yuki might already be back at the Main House by now, being abused by Akito, and Saito refused to stand for it. If Yuki was in danger, and couldn't be put into a foster home, he would adopt the boy himself, curse or no curse. Already Yuki was like a son to him.

 

Still, he felt nervous as he approached the house. What would everyone's reaction be? He had a pretty good excuse, but… but… He pushed aside his doubts and rang the doorbell.

 

“Coming!” came a female voice from inside. A moment later the door opened to a girl, about Yuki's age, with dark brown hair and chocolate-colored eyes. Her hair was tied back into pigtails, and her eyes widened when she saw Saito. He reasoned that they probably didn't get many unfamiliar visitors. “Oh, forgive my rudeness,” she said after a moment, breaking into a smile and bowing. “You just took me by surprise.”

 

Saito laughed. “Not at all. You must be Honda Tohru.”

 

Now she looked even more startled. “Yes… that is… how…”

 

“Yuki told me about you. Is he here?” Just then there were running footsteps from another room, and a moment later, Yuki came in, closely followed by Kyo.

 

“Saito… sensei…”

 

“Eh? Yuki-kun, is this a teacher of yours?” the girl asked, looking terribly confused.

 

“I was his employer, up until a few months ago,” Saito replied. “Yuki-kun, you forgot your last paycheck.” He held it up.

 

Yuki looked confused for a moment, then a bit relieved. “You… could have mailed it to me.”

 

“Yes, well, I didn't know your address, so…” Saito shrugged. “Are you that disappointed to see me?”

 

Yuki's eyes widened. “I… no! That is…” He looked very confused for a second. Saito by now had had time to look him over. He was a bit thin, but he didn't look sick. So… had things gotten better?

 

“Yuki-nii, would you just relax and say hi to the poor guy?” Kyo said after a moment. It was his tone that reassured Saito. Things had indeed gotten better.

 

Yuki looked at Kyo, then at the floor for a moment, then back to Saito. He broke into a smile. “Of course I'm glad to see you.”

 

Saito smiled and reached out an arm, and Yuki came and hugged him tightly. Saito held him close and breathed a long sigh of relief. He felt tears threatening at his eyelashes, but he blinked them back. “It's been a long time.”

 

“It has been a long time,” Yuki agreed. He let go, but held on at arm's length. “It's good to see you.”

 

Honda-san by now looked completely bewildered, but now she seemed to snap out of it. “Um… Saito… san?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Ah, good! Would you like anything? I could make some tea. I'm afraid Shigure-san isn't here right now, but you're more than welcome to stay for supper!”

 

“If that would be all right with Yuki,” Saito replied.

 

“Of course,” Yuki said.

 

“Wait…” Kyo sounded hesitant. “Is it… supposed to rain tonight?” he asked Yuki. “I mean… it probably wouldn't be good if Saito-san got stuck walking home in the rain.”

 

Yuki frowned, and looked thoughtful for a moment. “I don't know… but the sky looks pretty clear.”

 

Why were they so worried about the rain? Not many people would take that into consideration.

 

“I think it will be all right,” Yuki said at last. “If it starts to look like rain, we'll finish.”

 

Kyo looked a little nervous, but at last he nodded. “All right.”

 

“Um… Saito-san?” Yuki asked after a moment.

 

“Yes?”

 

“May I show you my garden?”

 

“Of course,” Saito said with a smile.

 

“Yes!” Honda-san said. “Then I can make dinner while you're out. What would you like to eat, Saito-san?”

 

“Oh, whatever's your favorite. I'm not picky.”

 

“My favorite? Um… all right!”

 

“Hey,” Kyo said as they were about to step out. Yuki turned. “Don't start hiding again, you damn rat.”

 

Yuki smiled a little. “All right.”

 

They walked for a little ways before Saito turned to Yuki. “So… a few weeks ago, Kyo told me everything was falling apart. Has it been put back together?”

 

Yuki smiled. “More or less.” His smile faded, and he closed his eyes and sighed. “It's a really, really long story. Akito told me I had to pretend that I didn't want to be Kyo's friend anymore. That was my punishment for playing the piano against his orders.” He smiled again, but painfully this time. “I understand you two figured it out.”

 

“The basics,” Saito said, nodding. “So what happened to fix everything?”

 

“Um… well…” He paused. “Akito… threatened something. When he saw that Kyo didn't believe me anymore, he… carried out his threat. But that took away his hold on me, so…”

 

Saito felt sick. “He hurt you?”

 

Yuki pressed his lips together. “No… he hurt Kyo.”

 

There was a pause. “He seems… all right.”

 

Yuki sighed. “Yeah, well… there's a lot… going on. I can't really explain. I'm sorry.” He sighed again. “But you're right… he said he's glad that happened instead of losing me, but… I don't know.”

 

“If he said so, I'm sure he's telling the truth.”

 

Yuki smiled a little. “Saito-sensei, he's such a good friend.”

 

Saito smiled. “You're lucky to have him.”

 

“I know. I just wish… he wouldn't keep getting hurt because of me. Here we are.” He waved his hand over his garden. Kyo was right. It did look similar to Saito's. Even though very little was growing right now, everything was neatly laid out for the spring.

 

“It's very nice.”

 

“Thanks. Want to head back?”

 

Saito nodded, and they began to walk. “So… are you going to play piano again soon?”

 

Yuki shook his head. “I'm sorry. We're not out of danger yet. Akito's not going to just let this go. We're waiting for him to act. It might be today, or tomorrow, or a month from now, but…” He shrugged.

 

“For now, though, he's not doing anything?”

 

“No, he is, it's just… not something I can explain.” He sighed again. “It'd be like… if Akito took my inhaler, permanently. And then every time my asthma acted up, I'd be in danger. He did something like that to Kyo.”

 

“So, Kyo still doesn't have his… inhaler thing.”

 

“Right. So Akito is still indirectly hurting him.”

 

Saito thought for a minute. “Does it have something to do with the rain?”

 

“Yeah… that's why he was nervous.”

 

Saito nodded. “If you'd rather I not stay…”

 

“No, it's probably fine. Just, if it starts to get rainy, you need to leave.”

 

“All right. Are you well now, by the way?”

 

“Yeah. And Kyo and I are friends again.”

 

Saito smiled. “I'm glad.”

 

“So am I. I'm just… worried. We're kind of in a precarious spot.”

 

“Is there anything I can do?”

 

Yuki shook his head. “There's nothing anyone can do until Akito makes his next move.”

 

Saito paused. “Yuki… if it gets to be too dangerous, I want you to know, you can come and live with me. Kyo too, if he wants.”

 

Yuki became quiet, but at last he smiled. “Thank you. But… I really think I need to see this out. Kyo and I both. We had a talk yesterday. I think we both have a lot of things to sort through, and running away from Akito isn't going to help anything.”

 

“All right,” Saito said, “but please call me or come visit me if you need help. You are still a child.”

 

Yuki nodded. “All right. Thank you.” He paused. “But, um… much as I'm glad to see you, I'd really prefer you not come over like this. But… I can give you our phone number. If you call, just pretend to be one of my teachers.”

 

“All right.”

 

“Ne, Saito-san?” Saito turned and jumped. They were approaching the porch, and Kyo jumped down from the roof, and landed on his feet. Saito blinked in confusion for a moment, before remembering that Kyo was a cat.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Sorry I never let you know that Yuki was okay. Things have been pretty insane lately.”

 

“No, I understand.”

 

Yuki laughed a little. “Kyo, you shouldn't jump down from the roof like that. You'll end up giving someone a heart attack.”

 

Kyo shrugged, obviously unconcerned. “Did you know Tohru's favorite vegetable is a leek?” he asked as they walked inside.

 

Yuki laughed. “No. How did you find that out?”

 

“Saito-san told her to make her favorite food,” Kyo said, rolling his eyes. “But she made a lot of different things, so I wouldn't have to eat them.” He narrowed his eyes at Yuki. “Unless, of course, you decide to force-feed me.”

 

Yuki laughed again, harder. “No worries. I haven't done that in ages. What else is she making?”

 

“Um… onigiri with a bunch of different stuffings, strawberries… though how those go with leeks is beyond me… and breaded fish. I accused her of making that for me, but she said fish is one of her favorite foods since she moved here.”

 

“That may be true, but she's definitely making it for you.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” Kyo rolled his eyes again. “But I wasn't all that motivated to try and talk her out of it.”

 

Yuki laughed once more, and they sat down at the table. Kyo went over to help Honda-san. “Um… Honda-san, can I do anything?” Yuki asked.

 

“No,” Kyo said. “I don't want the fish burnt.”

 

Honda-san giggled. “You can help me get the table set if you want.” Yuki went to do so, and Saito came to help him. He hated feeling useless. “Oh, Yuki-kun!” Honda-san said suddenly, “Shigure-san called and said he won't be home for dinner. He's at the Main House with Hatori-san, and he won't be back until late tonight.”

 

“He's at the Main House?” Yuki said in surprise. “Did he say why?”

 

“Does Shigure ever say why?” Kyo asked, raising an eyebrow. “Knowing him, he's probably trying to convince Hatori to do some crazy thing we don't want to know about, that Hatori will of course refuse to do.” He and Honda-san moved the food to the table.

 

Saito noticed that Yuki suddenly looked thoughtful. “Maybe,” the boy said after a moment. Then he shrugged, and sat down with the others. “Well, in that case, I humbly accept.”