Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Ebony and Ivory ❯ Trapped ( Chapter 41 )

CHAPTER 41: Trapped

 

It was Thursday, and Yuki was finally going back to school. The student council was overjoyed to see him, and Manabe promptly threw him an impromptu “welcome back!” party. Yuki went along with it, but still felt a little reserved. He wasn't used to all the attention, or all the people, and longed for the quiet of home.

 

All the same, it was good to be back at school. His teachers had been understanding about his vaguely explained “situation,” and allowed him extra time to catch up on his assignments. He had done some while he was sick, but hadn't felt very motivated. At last, Yuki gathered Kyo's schoolwork and began to walk home with Honda-san.

 

“Yuki-kun?” she said presently.

 

“Yes?”

 

“So… what exactly happened between you and Kyo-kun?”

 

Yuki sighed a little. “He didn't tell you?”

 

“No. He said… you were protecting him. But that's all.”

 

“Nothing happened between us. Akito told me that if I didn't stop being friends with Kyo, he would steal Kyo's bracelet. But I couldn't tell Kyo that, because I had to trick him into thinking I didn't like him.” The rat that tricked the cat. Yuki sighed. He had been feeling guiltier and guiltier about the month and a half before, as the shock of the bracelet being taken wore off. He tried not to think about it.

 

“But when will Akito-san give the bracelet back?”

 

Yuki's heart skipped a beat. “He won't.”

 

Honda-san's eyes widened. “But… won't that be hard for Kyo-kun? And he won't be able to go to school, or even leave the house…”

 

“Yes. That's right, Honda-san.” Yuki sighed and looked away. He had spoken brusquely.

 

“I… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to make Yuki-kun feel bad or… I'm… I'm sorry, am I making things worse? Because… because Kyo-kun is happy that Yuki-kun is his friend again, and I…”

 

“It's okay, Honda-san. Don't worry about it. I'm just tired. I'm sorry I snapped.”

 

“Um… okay.”

 

Yuki fell silent. I want to play the piano. He jumped slightly, startled. Where had that thought come from? Oh, I see. It was on my priority list. I have Kyo back. Now I want the piano. Well, get over it, Yuki.

 

They finally arrived at home. Honda-san still seemed a little nervous, but Yuki managed to give her a bright smile, and she was cheered.

 

“We're home!” Yuki called.

 

Kyo, who had been in his room, was downstairs in a second. “Hey, you're back! How did it go?”

 

“…he won't be able… to even leave the house.” Kyo-nii, I don't deserve that smile. “It went well.”

 

Kyo rolled his eyes. “Way to be specific.” He put an arm halfway around Yuki's shoulders, and they sat at the kotatsu with Tohru close behind. “So tell me about it.”

 

“Um… I don't know. Haru was glad to see me, and Kakeru threw me a party. Fortunately, he hadn't known that I was coming back today, so it wasn't complete overkill. He ordered takoyaki. I brought you back some, in my backpack. Here.” He handed Kyo a small take-out box.

 

“Hey, thanks!”

 

“Yeah, but of course, being Kakeru, he gave me absolutely no time to adjust.”

 

“Manabe-kun reminds me of Ayame-san sometimes,” Tohru said brightly.

 

“Heh.” Yuki shook his head. “You and me both.”

 

“Ah, but… it was still very kind of him to welcome Yuki-kun.”

 

“Yeah. Kakeru's nice. But I really can't be around him for more than an hour or so at a time without getting exhausted.”

 

“So how were classes?” asked Kyo.

 

“Pretty good. My teachers gave me some time to catch up.”

 

“But you were studying like crazy before.”

 

“Well, but then I got sick and… sort of did nothing.”

 

“Well, anyway,” Kyo said, as though he had rushed through these formalities to get to the real point of this conversation. “We'll be able to spar again soon, right?”

 

The excitement in his voice was almost tangible. Yuki had to laugh. “Just give me a day or two to get back in shape.”

 

“Why? If I fought you now, I might beat you.”

 

“It wouldn't be fair.”

 

Kyo rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Just hurry up and get better, okay?”

 

Yuki laughed. “Okay.”

 

“Kyo-kun, you should probably be careful with that,” Shigure commented, coming in.

 

“Careful with what?” Kyo asked.

 

“Sparring. Without your bracelet.”

 

Hurt, offence, and maybe a little fear chased themselves over Kyo's face. “That… that won't be a problem. I'll be fine.”

 

Yuki sighed, wishing he could send Shigure through the ceiling. “Stupid dog, why won't you ever learn to think before you speak.”

 

“I am merely trying to be practical,” Shigure tutted, then left the room.

 

“You… you don't think that would really be a problem, do you?” Kyo asked after a moment.”

 

“I'm sure it won't,” Yuki said. “I mean, if it's not raining, it will be fine.” He paused. “I… I think I'll be upstairs for a little while. I'm kind of tired. I'll be down for dinner. Sorry.” He went to his room, followed by Kyo and Tohru's gazes, then shut the door. He sat down on his bed. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Kyo. He put his head in his hands. I should have known all along that it wouldn't work. Why did I hurt him so badly? Was all this just to prove that I could? Why did I feel a sense of accomplishment every time he would yell at me and run away? I hated myself, but…

 

Yuki's door opened. “Why are you hiding again?” Kyo asked.

 

“I'm not hiding,” Yuki said, glaring at his knee. “I'm resting.”

 

Kyo put a hand on his hip. “Look, you… the bracelet's a problem. I get that. Everyone gets that. But it's not as much of a problem as we thought it would be, and I'm getting kind of tired of you running away or clamming up every time it's mentioned. I'm not mad at you. No one is. No one blames you. This was all Akito's fault. So what's with you blaming and being mad at yourself?”

 

“Kyo, the rainy season's coming.”

 

“Yeah, well…” He frowned. “I'll deal with it. Just… look, I don't blame you at all. Not even slightly. I'm not mad at you. It's not your fault. You're being unreasonable.” Yuki didn't respond. Kyo came and sat beside him. “For what it's worth,” he said, “I've been thinking lately… that it really took a lot of strength to do what you did. And even if… even if protecting me was weird… for you to be strong like that, and keep it up even when it was killing you, literally… is pretty amazing.”

 

Yuki looked up. Kyo was looking the opposite direction, staring at some invisible point in the air. His face was slightly red. “Thank you,” Yuki said.

 

“Yeah, well,” Kyo said gruffly. “Even if things didn't work out like they were `supposed' to, it doesn't really matter. You didn't really fail. Because you never revealed anything. And besides, I'm glad it didn't work out the way it was `supposed' to, because I'd rather lose the bracelet than you.”

 

Yuki blinked. “Really…? But…”

 

“I would. Seriously. I mean… I'm pretty safe without it as long as I'm here, so… so cheer up, and get better, and stop beating yourself up, okay?” Kyo looked like a disgruntled toddler.

 

Yuki had to smile. “Okay.”

 

“And do it this time, you damn rat. Stop telling me you will and not doing it.”

 

Yuki laughed a little. “I'll try. Okay?”

 

Kyo rolled his eyes. “Better than nothing. You're too prone to feel sorry for yourself and everyone else, you know? Lighten up.” He clapped a hand on Yuki's head and stood up. “So, are we going to do homework or what?”

 

Yuki smiled and followed him out of the room.

 

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“We're home!” Yuki called from the door as he walked in with Honda-san. It had been his third day, and he was finally starting to get used to it again.

 

“Oh, you're home!” Kyo called, running down the stairs. “Welcome back, Tohru, Yuki-nii… Yuki, are you ready to spar with me? I've been washing my neck for the last three days.”

 

Honda-san giggled, and Yuki began to laugh as well. It was good to see Kyo like this. “I will. Today. But I need to do my homework first. There's a paper I need to write, and if I don't get started on it right away, I'll end up procrastinating, because I'll want to talk to you instead.”

 

“Come on, Yuki,” Kyo begged. “Just for a couple minutes?”

 

“You expect to get beaten that quickly?”

 

Kyo scowled at the ground. “Shut up, you damn rat.”

 

“See, I wanted to actually work with you today, and spend time with you. For more than just a few minutes. Do you mind waiting? All I want to do now is some research, and make up some note cards. It should only take a few hours.”

 

“A few hours?!” Kyo sounded like he was being held under water.

 

“Kyo, this paper is worth twenty-five percent of my class grade, and I need to get caught up. I missed a lot.”

 

Kyo rolled his eyes. “You and your grades.” He sighed. “Fine, whatever. I guess it wouldn't be any fun hanging out if you're constantly worried about the paper. Go ahead. But can I come and chat with you while you're at it?”

 

“Kyo, I can't read and talk at the same time.”

 

“Oh yeah. I remember. I'm a terrible distraction. Back then you said it was nice.”

 

Yuki laughed again. “It is nice, stupid cat. That's why you can't. It's too tempting. I'd much rather chat with you than write a paper.”

 

Kyo shrugged. “I guess I'll take that as a compliment. Well, I'll be outside. Come out when you're ready.”

 

“Okay. See you then.” Yuki smiled and went up to his room, resigning himself to his homework. He read for at least an hour, taking notes as he went. His paper was on the coming of the Black Ships to Japan. As he read, he vaguely remembered reading something similar in another book, years ago. He had been only eleven or twelve when he had read it. Did I bring it with me when I came to live with Shigure? He thought for a minute. I remember liking the book. And there were a lot of books I brought over. I've got most of them, but… where did I put the rest…?

 

He thought back to moving day. Haru had helped to move Yuki's things over. Haru was completely disorganized. He had stacked boxes right, left and sideways, filling them with completely random things, so that when Yuki had at last discovered everything he thought he needed, everything else had gone to the attic, because he and Shigure were so tired of going through boxes. None of the things had apparently been very important, because most of the boxes had sat up there for the past four years, untouched. It's probably up there. Somewhere. Is it worth it? He sighed. The book had had a lot of good information. I might as well. I'd like to reread it.

 

Yuki cautiously went downstairs, half expecting Kyo to attack him. But then he remembered that his cousin was outside. He smiled, and then found the old attic key in the drawer filled with odds and ends that Shigure had labeled the “junk drawer.” Yuki was perhaps the only one in the entire household who actually kept track of what was in it. He could have prepared an inventory if anyone had asked.

 

At last, Yuki returned to his room. He cleared away some things from his closet, and then managed to climb up on his dresser to the trap door. He forced it open. A layer of dust that had apparently been on top came down into his face, setting him coughing. I wonder if there are rats up there. Or bats. After being untouched for this long, who knows? He looked at the pile of dust on top of his dresser. I'll have to clean it up before Honda-san sees it.

 

He had been kneeling, and now rose to his feet, poking his head though the door and into the attic. Several cockroaches scurried away as he opened the door. Yuki shivered. He had never liked insects, especially cockroaches, ever since Akito had punished him once by putting him in a cellar when he was in his rat form because he was sick…

 

Yuki shuddered violently. Where did that thought come from? He forced it away, and looked around. He glanced down at his dust-covered white shirt. I should have known it wasn't worth it. He almost went down, but glanced at the boxes. Then again, at this point I might as well. It probably won't take too long. He pulled himself into the attic, covering his face to keep the dust out of his nose and lungs. He crawled over to the boxes, and waited for the dust to settle. Finally, he opened and began to look through them.

 

It was a much longer process than he had expected, and far more irritating. Layers of dust covered everything, and there seemed to be dead (or living) insects everywhere. I'll have to take a bath after this. Kyo's going to kill me. He sighed. This really wasn't worth it. He clenched a fist. But I can't give up now. All that for nothing? He grunted with exasperation, and opened his fourth box. Suddenly a gust of wind blew in from the attic's one small window. The attic door had not opened all the way to the floor, and now the wind gathered up under the few inches that remained off the ground and slammed the door shut.

 

Dust was everywhere. Yuki coughed and covered his face, but it didn't do much good. At last, he unbuttoned his top few buttons and put his face inside his shirt, until the dust settled. Finally, he looked up. The door was closed. Yuki felt a slight tremor. He really didn't like tight spaces. He crawled over to the door and tried to pull it open. It wouldn't move. Yuki's tremor heightened. He pulled on it harder. Was it locked? Where was the key? On my dresser.

 

Yuki shivered again, and began to knock on the door. “Um… the trapdoor closed. Is anyone up here?” he called quietly. Then he remembered that Shigure was out and the other two were outside. He forced himself to calm down. There's no point in calling them if they aren't going to hear me. I'll find the book, and then call them. By then someone should be inside. He chided himself for ever coming into the attic to begin with. Idiot. Your paper's going to take longer now, and you promised Kyo you'd spend time with him. He can't go to school like you. This caused Yuki another twinge of guilt, and he sat for a moment in silence. At last he sighed. I might as well find the book. There's no point in just sitting here.

 

He started going through the last box he had opened. After ten minutes, he hadn't found the book. He started to reach for another box, and realized his hands were trembling. He looked at the door again. The trembling spread. Maybe someone's inside now. He knocked on the door. “Kyo-nii? Honda-san? Could someone come? Do you hear me?” He knocked louder. “Kyo!” he shouted. He started beating on the door, then stopped, shaking. He was exciting a cloud of dust. He coughed quietly. Calm down, idiot. No one's inside yet. You're not afraid of a few cockroaches, are you? Yuki suddenly heard the quite tapping of moving insects, and shivered again. Shut up.

 

Yuki sat against the wall, hugging his knees, straining his ears for the sound of someone coming into the house. He took deep breaths, in spite of the dust and his fading bronchitis. What am I afraid of, anyway? It's just an attic. And I'm alone. He's not here. And he doesn't even know I'm here. He sighed. I wish there were some rats up here. If we had to have an attic, couldn't we at least have had rats in it? He wrung his hands for a second, trying to stop them from shaking.

 

“Why are you so afraid, Yuki? You're safe here.” Akito's voice echoed in Yuki's mind, and he shivered, forcing it away. But it came again. “You're safe here, with me. Safe from the rest of the world. They would hate you, you know.” Yuki sighed hard. “Shut up,” he said aloud.

 

“But they would. They would hate you.”

 

“They wouldn't,” Yuki said. “There are people like Kyo, and Saito-san, and Honda-san. They don't hate me.”

 

“Normal people could never like you. You're a freak of nature.”

 

Yuki's trembling became more violent. “I'm not listening to you,” he whispered.

 

“You think you could ever be normal, like them? Forget it. Stay here, with me. I will protect you. I love you more than anyone else ever could. This is your sanctuary.”

 

“Shut up,” whispered Yuki. “I'm not a freak. I'm…” His words died. A cockroach suddenly crawled across his foot, and he jumped and let out a cry. Damn it! He began to knock on the door again, steadily harder, until he was beating until his hands hurt. “Someone let me out!” he shouted. “Kyo! Honda-san! Shigure! Please!” At length, he pulled himself back, panting. Do I want them to think I'm nuts? He sat still, shaking. “Stupid cat, come inside,” he whispered. Tears threatened to come to his eyes, but he fought them back. I'm not a child. He clung to this. “Did you hear that, Akito?” he asked aloud. “I'm not a child anymore.”

 

“Give me a break,” came the sarcastic answer in his head. “You seriously think you're any stronger now than you were then? Look at yourself. Shaking like a rat caught in a trap. You're pathetic. You don't think I know that? The only reason I let you go was because I knew you would never really leave.”

 

“I'll leave!”

 

“No, you won't.”

 

“Yes, I will! I'm getting stronger.”

 

“Only because of that stupid cat. You depend on him for everything, now. You, who pride yourself on being the strong one, needing help from the cat? Pathetic.”

 

Yuki shook hard, but still fought. “Kyo… is my best friend. And he thinks I'm strong.”

 

“But you know better. You know you're weak.”

 

“I'm getting stronger,” Yuki repeated.

 

“And what about when he's confined? What's going to happen then?”

 

Yuki pressed his face against his knees. Kyo would be confined, like he had been. In a small, dark place, where no one could see him or hear him. “I won't let him be.”

 

“What do you think you can do about it?”

 

“I'll think of something.” The squeak of an irritated bat made Yuki jump again, and he instantly started beating on the door. “Someone open this door!” he shouted as loud as he could. “Someone! Please!”

 

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