Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ White Stones in the Moonlight ❯ Reprise ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: The characters from Fushigi Yuugi are the creations and property of Yuu Watase and related enterprises. I do not own them, and do not make any profit from this fiction except for my own enjoyment in spending time with them.

Author's Note: Much of my writing is inspired by music - in other words, I hear the music, then start seeing a "movie" of whatever story is in my mind. This song is somewhat lyrical for this scene- but it rises in urgency and intensity just as the scene does. Picture the song starting at scene 2, Tamahome's conversion.

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CHAPTER 2: REPRISE (Tamahome, Nuriko, Miaka)

The rays of the setting sun slanted in through the window, casting shadows of the bars across the face of the man sitting in the cell. "Thirty-seven." he said softly. His companion on the opposite side of the cell door looked up from the scroll he had been reading. "Thirty-seven?" Nuriko asked. "Yes," replied Tamahome, lifting his chin from his knees. "Thirty-seven bars in front of this cell. Don't you think that's odd, Nuriko? No pun intended. I mean, why would they build a cell with thirty-seven bars? You can't multiply or divide anything into thirty-seven - it must have been hell for the builders to keep thirty-seven bars evenly spaced..."

"I think you're bored, Tama-chan. His Highness already said, and I agree with him, that there's no reason for you to be locked up down here like a common criminal. I could guard you just as well under house arrest in more comfy and interesting quarters. We have no idea when or if this "oni" will reappear, but you insisted on being confined down here, with no thought for poor Nuri-chan..."

Tamahome glared at Nuriko suddenly. "So you're so certain that you can restrain me if I get taken over again? I don't know that I'd be so cocky if I were you, Nuriko. Tasuki's no weakling, but when I awoke this morning, I had him trussed up like a sheep for the slaughter and beaten to within an inch of his life!" His eyes were dark and desolate at his mention of Tasuki's name. He ducked his head into his knees again, unwilling to meet Nuriko's questioning gaze.

"Listen, Tama-chan, I don't pretend to know what's going on - in fact, I'm just about as confused as I've ever been in my life, and that's saying a lot coming from me. I mean, you and Tasuki brawl all the time - and I know that this is different because it turned serious - but from what Chichiri told me, Tasuki himself said that you weren't responsible. He blamed it on some kind of weird demon-thing that possessed you. Now, I'm not taking this as lightly as you think, okay? I've got my bracelets on, plus I've got ways of summoning help if I need it - but like I said, I don't understand this need in you to confine yourself in the deepest, darkest cells of the palace prison. And I don't get why I'm not allowed to see Tasuki - Chichiri and Mitsukake are standing watch over his chambers like a pair of palace lion-dogs guarding the Imperial treasure. I mean, even after you messed him up in Kutou, we were allowed to visit him... Sorry, Tama!" Nuriko said as Tamahome flinched at the memory.

Nuriko opened the cell door, crouched down next to Tamahome, and placed a hand on the younger seishi's hunched shoulders. "I'm sorry, Tama-chan." he apologized again. "All I wanted to say is that if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen."

Tamahome lifted his face from his drawn-up knees, startling Nuriko with the bleakness of his expression. "Thanks, Nuriko. But right now, talking about it isn't going to help anything - and I've got big blank spots in my memory anyway." He lowered his eyes and whispered to himself, "But not enough blank spots... I wish I didn't remember any of it at all..."

Just then, the sound of running footsteps made them both look up in surprise. Miaka dashed into the room, stopping short at the cell, breathing hard. "Tamahome!" she gasped. With surprising speed, Tamahome leaped across Nuriko and slammed the cell door shut, locking Miaka outside. "Miaka!" he shouted angrily. "You shouldn't be here! Didn't they tell you that it was dangerous for you to be near me?!"

"I know, but I couldn't just...!" she stopped short, uncertain of what to say to him since she rejected his marriage proposal the other night. Should she say that she couldn't just leave him there? Would he believe her? She didn't even have a coherent reason for running to find him, except for the violent turmoil churning in her heart ever since Mitsukake told her of the disastrous battle between the two seishi. They wouldn't let her see Tasuki, wouldn't tell her the details of what happened, wouldn't tell her where Tamahome had disappeared to! She was frantic with worry about the two combatants and had resorted to eavesdropping to find out the whereabouts of Tamahome and Nuriko.

Nuriko picked himself up off the cell floor, dusted off his clothes, and settled himself in a corner of the cell, resigning himself to witnessing yet another Miaka-Tamahome sentimental love scene.

But Miaka was not her usual giddy self, the strange tension in the palace getting through to her. Her emerald eyes were somber, troubled, touched with the darkness that had been there since the betrayal and death of Amiboshi. "You're right, Tamahome. Mitsukake did warn me. But what I don't understand is why! I know that you injured Tasuki while possessed by something. And while I understand the need for secrecy, I don't know why I'm not allowed to see either you or Tasuki. And why are Chichiri and Mitsukake giving off these feelings of suppressed panic?"

Tamahome just shook his head, then sat down again, once again pulling his knees up and hiding his face.

"Nuriko?" Miaka asked uncertainly.

"I don't know any more than you do, Miaka." Nuriko confessed. "But it is weird. Chichiri gave me Tasuki's tessen and told me to hide it, so I put it in the... well, I put it somewhere where Tasuki will never look. But I don't know why, either."

Miaka glanced at Tamahome, but he was still refusing to participate in the discussion. She turned back to Nuriko.

"Here's something even weirder. I passed by Tasuki's chambers and overheard Mitsukake and Chichiri talking." Nuriko raised an eyebrow. "All right, so I was eavesdropping! Anyway, they were deciding on shifts so that one of them would always be with Tasuki - and Mitsukake said that he wished that he could heal Tasuki's injuries, but they couldn't allow him to regain his seishi powers yet. I don't get it! Why should Tasuki's flame-throwing abilities get in the way of Mitsukake healing him?"

Tamahome suddenly jerked his head up, comprehension and grief appearing simultaneously in his grey eyes. "Tasuki's seishi power has nothing to do with the tessen. You forget - Suzaku's gift to him is speed! That's why his seishi symbol is "wing." They can't heal him - because then he'll be able to get away from them - and that's why they're hiding the tessen as a back-up precaution!" Tamahome choked on a sob. "It's a suicide watch!" At that, he lost the last of his composure and began to weep bitterly, his body racked with violent sobs.

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"Suicide?!" Shocked, Nuriko and Miaka stared at each other through the bars. "That's crazy, Tamahome." Miaka stammered. "Tasuki would never...."

Nuriko broke in. "No way. Not that loud-mouthed, cocky bandit. What the hell could have happened to make you think that, Tama?"

Tamahome's shoulders continued to shake as the last rays of the setting sun withdrew their reddish light from the cell, leaving it in shadow. Suddenly, the hairs on Nuriko's arms and scalp began to prickle, and he took a step back from his fellow seishi. Tamahome's sobs had changed, turning to laughter, mocking and cruel. "So you want to know what happened?" he sneered, lifting his face from his knees. Nuriko and Miaka stared in shock at the yellowish-green light emanating from his oni symbol and from his eyes, bathing the cell in an evil, eerie glow.

"The oni!" Nuriko breathed, then powered up his bracelets to full gauntlets.

"Don't worry, little cross-dresser. I'm not interested in you - nor in her, either. I'm only here to give you the information you so desperately seek." he mocked. "So you want the complete story of last night? Hungry for it? The question is... can you stomach it?" Tamahome laughed again. "Well, let's begin at the beginning. It all started with her." He pointed at Miaka, whose eyes widened. "Our virtuous little priestess. You didn't know that Tamahome was watching you last night, that he saw you cuddling up to your fiery seishi, embracing him, leaning on him. Oh, the jealousy and rage consuming him! It was delectable!"

"But it gets better! Tasuki, that chivalrous fool, came to Tamahome's chambers to confront him about you. Oh, gods, it was like having a fabulous meal delivered to my door! It was so easy to take over Tamahome in his pain and rage. And then the fun began! Let me tell you, it took some skill on my part to beat that bandit boy so as to cripple him, but not to the point of unconsciousness. Where would be the fun in that? I wanted him awake and aware of what was going to happen to him." The creature inside Tamahome sighed in sudden pleasure.

Miaka's hands fisted at her sides. Nuriko glanced at her and blessed Tamahome's quickness in locking Miaka out of the cell, otherwise by now she would have launched herself at the oni in one of her disastrous "Miaka attacks." Nuriko was having trouble controlling his own anger, but he told himself to keep cool, to keep alert. The oni had not made any aggressive moves so far, but that was no reason for Nuriko to lower his defenses.

Meanwhile, the oni continued to spin his dark tale, ensnaring them in the horror of the previous night. "Tasuki was disoriented by my attacks, so I was able to pin him beneath me in the bed. Who would think that a mouth that spews such obscenities could taste so sweet? He was like honey on my tongue. And his body! I ripped his clothes so that I could feel the satin of his skin. Gods, how he struggled and cursed!" Tamahome laughed excitedly, then abruptly stopped. "And he nearly got away. That accursed speed of his! - he was at the door before I felt him slip my grasp. But I had other weapons." Tamahome's voice dropped, becoming low and threatening. "I warned him that if he ran, I would be in the priestess' chambers in a flash, and that I would take her before he could even summon help. And then I would visit the newest seishi, that child, and teach HIM a thing or two about pain!" The oni laughed again, triumphant. "That fool turned around and tried to attack me again! He actually believed me! I couldn't be less interested in you, priestess, nor in that child - you're too easy to break, no challenge at all. No, it was him I wanted all along."

Tears stood in Nuriko's eyes and ran down Miaka's face. But they couldn't stop listening, couldn't stop reliving the horror that Tasuki had endured. The oni continued to hold them in his dark spell. "Of course, I had him down on the bed again in no time. As a particularly nice touch, I bound his wrists above his head with his own shirt. Now he was mine to enjoy at my leisure. You're probably wondering why no one heard his struggles or cries - or why your monk didn't pick up on the disturbance in his ki. Well, I have a few powers that include shields and barriers - but that's all you need to know about that."

Tamahome's breath quickened as the oni returned to his story. "Oh, I'll never forget the feel of him, his sobs and curses sweet music in my ears, his skin like the finest silk under my fingers. Let me tell you another thing - nature has been generous to our Tasuki, and he was as much man as anyone could wish for! The joy of caressing him, stroking him, feeling him respond against his will..."

He broke off as Nuriko moved forward to strike him. "Teme!!" hissed Nuriko uncharacteristically, sounding eerily like Tasuki in that moment. "You bastard, you dared...!!!"

"Now, now, do you really want to injure your Tama-chan?" the oni sneered. "Remember, whatever you do to me, you do to Tamahome. Sit down like a good little boy or girl or whatever it is you think you are, or you'll never learn how Tasuki got away from me the second time." Nuriko snarled and backed away but remained standing. Miaka stood frozen outside the cell, trembling, her hands covering her mouth.

"You know," the oni continued conversationally, "Tasuki is a lot brighter than he appears. In fact, I'm convinced that he often deliberately plays dumb, just so you'll underestimate him. Can you believe that he almost escaped from me again? And you wouldn't believe how. He started calling out 'Sou Kishuku' over and over. 'Sou Kishuku, Suzaku no seishi,' 'Kishuku, my brother warrior.' Up until then, I thought that I had fooled him into believing I was really Tamahome, but I guess he caught onto me and tried to reach Tamahome inside me. And it actually worked! I felt myself being shoved down, pushed aside, forced into becoming a mere observer. I was in such a rage! Tamahome took himself back just as I was on the verge of fulfilling my desires!"

Tamahome's mouth quirked up. "But if I hadn't been so angry and frustrated, I would have found the situation hilarious. Imagine Tamahome awakening to find himself on top of Tasuki, his hands all over his 'brother warrior'!" The oni laughed in pure amusement. "Gods, I wish that I could have seen the look on his face! But Tasuki didn't care - just begged Tamahome to untie him. That fool Tamahome jumped to help him..."

The oni's voice dropped to a sensuous purr. "...and that's when he made one fatal mistake. As he was untying Tasuki, Tamahome looked down into that bruised, beautiful face, saw the tears sparkling on the dark lashes, felt the warmth and hardness of the body beneath him... and just for a moment, for the tiniest, briefest breath of time… he felt desire for Tasuki. And that was all I needed to take him over again! I let Tasuki have another five seconds of thinking he was going to escape - and then I retied him tighter than before! Oh, how he wrenched at his bonds - I thought he was going to dislocate both shoulders. And that look of betrayal - it was intoxicating! I couldn't hold back any longer!!"

Miaka was sobbing openly, the torture of her fifth seishi as vivid to her as if she had stood in the room that night. She never thought that her heart could ache so much. She realized that all her previous woes, over Yui, over Tamahome, were like child's play compared to this open agony of her warrior's... no, her friend's suffering. It felt as if her heart would shatter with grief.

Nuriko's face was a mask of rage as he shoved Tamahome back against the wall of the cell. "Miaka!!" he shouted, "Get OUT!! Get out NOW!!!" Miaka stumbled back, but her shaking legs refused to support her.

"Don't GO!!!" shouted Tamahome. "I'm just getting to the GOOD part! Don't you want to hear about his screams as I took him, the blood as I ripped his innocence away?! The salt of his tears mixed with the sweetness of his lips - gods, he tasted of heaven!!!"

Miaka kept backing away, her hands covering her ears in vain.

"The feel of him, the hardness of him in my hands - and gods, the despair in his eyes as he climaxed in my embrace! He wanted me as much as I wanted him!! He WANTED it, I tell you!!!"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!" screamed Nuriko as he finally lost control and lunged at the oni, pushing his gauntleted forearm across Tamahome's throat to silence him. Pulling a slip of paper with prayers scrawled across it from his robe, Nuriko slapped it over the oni sign on Tamahome's forehead, causing him to shriek in pain, then stiffen, the yellow-green glow fading from his eyes.

In the sudden twilight darkness of the cell, there was only the sound of panting along with choked sobs. Tamahome's grey eyes widened in panic as he focused on Nuriko's enraged face inches from his own while trying to draw breath through his constricted throat. His eyes moved to discern Miaka, standing in the gloom, her face stricken and the innocence in her eyes gone forever. "Miaka?" he gasped. She turned from him and fled the room.

"Nuriko…" he breathed. Nuriko released him at last, tears falling from his eyes. Tamahome began to cough and weep. "Nuriko, please... Kill me now... please!!" he sobbed. Nuriko shook his head, fighting to control his own grief. "Then give me something, anything, so I can do it myself! Maybe then, he'll get better... maybe then, he'll stop being afraid..." Tamahome broke off as Nuriko took him in a fierce embrace. "Shhh, hush, Tama-chan, don't speak such nonsense. We'll find a way out of this, I promise you. If you promise not to give up, I promise to find a way that we can win..." he wept brokenly.

"But will Tasuki be able to find a way out of this nightmare... Will he?!!" cried Tamahome.

"I don't know, I don't know... but Suzaku can't abandon us now. We have to believe that we'll win through somehow..." Nuriko's voice wavered, yet managed to ring with conviction at the same time.

The two seishi held tightly to each other, their friendship and love their only refuge in the gathering gloom.

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Glossary of Japanese terms:

Oni - Japanese term for "ogre" and the sign of Suzaku on Tamahome's forehead. In Japan, "oni" usually depicts a particular type of monster with three eyes that eats humans. The evil being possessing Tamahome is more like a mononoke - evil spirit or demon - but I continue to call it "the oni" since it manifests through Tamahome's seishi power

"Sou Kishuku" -Tamahome's family name, as opposed to his seishi name

"Teme" - rude form of address, meaning "You bastard" or "You son-of-a-bitch"

Author's notes: As I stated from the beginning, this story was inspired by Jades' "Show me the meaning…" in which Tamahome attacks Tasuki while under the influence of his oni sign. From here onward, I have altered the account of the attack from Jades' version, adding two escape attempts by Tasuki and turning the oni into an actual demon who possesses Tamahome, absolving Tamahome of responsibility in the attack.

I have chosen to take the situation and portray it realistically, as an actual rape and not a fantasy rape. This does not mean I am making judgments against rape fantasies - just that fantasy is not the approach I am taking in this story. My story differs substantially from fantasy in that I don't believe that actual rape is ever enjoyable for the victim. It is a crime of violence, not sex, the purpose of which is to degrade and humiliate the victim, not to "make love" to them. So why does Tasuki respond to the oni's manipulation? Some basic human biology: men have two "sexual response" centers - one in the brain, like women, and one at the base of the spine. Even though unwilling and even horrified in his mind, a man will respond to direct stimulation because the nerves bypass the brain, forming a "short circuit" running from their sex organ directly to the response center in their spine. Whew - more info than you wanted, right? Sorry, but I wanted to make the point that even if a man responds during a rape, it is AGAINST HIS WILL and does not count as "enjoyment" of the experience. It will, however, contribute greatly to his sense of shame, which you will see in the next chapter. Sorry for the trauma - believe it or not, my hands were shaking as I wrote this chapter.

It was also important for me to absolve Tamahome of responsibility in this crime, though he does fail Tasuki in the second escape attempt - once again, basic male physical response working against him there. My interpretation of his character is a little more "canon" - in other words, I feel that he is not the sort of person who would enjoy raping anyone, let alone one of his best friends.