Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ White Stones in the Moonlight ❯ Purification ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: The characters from Fushigi Yuugi are the creations and property of Yuu Watase and related enterprises. I do not own them, and do not make any profit from this fiction except for my own enjoyment in spending time with them. Except I do make a claim to this storyline…hah!

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CHAPTER 3: PURIFICATION (Chichiri, Miaka, Tasuki)

Chichiri leaned against the outer wall of Tasuki's bath chamber, knowing that he should be elsewhere. Hotohori was waiting patiently for a full account of the devastating events of the last 24 hours, and Mitsukake struggled to gently enlighten Chiriko while sparing him from information that the 13-year-old did not need to know. Miaka was Suzaku-only-knows where, while Nuriko both stood guard over and tried to comfort Tamahome, who was a possible danger to them and a definite danger to himself. Above all this, Chichiri needed to set off on his mission to confront the one he suspected of setting these tragic events in motion. But before he could deal with any of this, there was still Tasuki... no, there was only Tasuki. Tasuki would remain his principal concern until the young warrior regained some mental stability.

Soft footsteps made Chichiri look up, unsure of who would intrude into Tasuki's quarters at this time. "Miaka..." he breathed in surprise. Gone was the bubbly, cheerful 15-year-old of yesterday. The priestess of Suzaku stood before him, her face shadowed with grief and pain but her bearing straight and strong. "How is he, Chichiri?" she enquired softly. Chichiri shook his head. "He woke just over an hour ago. He seemed a little better - at least he was lucid and not panicking... but he refused all food or drink. He said that he only wanted to get clean... but he's been in the bath chamber for an hour now." The monk's voice was at its lower pitch, the cheerful 'no da's conspicuously absent. "I think that his injured arms aren't working properly, but when I try to go in to help him, he starts crying and shouting for me to leave him alone. I wish I could send in a servant, but I don't know who I can trust." Chichiri averted his eye from Miaka. "I know that you're probably wondering why I don't allow Mitsukake to just heal him, but..." his voice faltered and cracked.

"I know why you can't do that at this time, Chichiri." Miaka's voice was sad but strong. "I know everything. I know what Tamahome or the oni, or whatever you want to call him, did to Tasuki, and I know why. It was all because of me, as usual, just like in Kutou..." tears rose in her eyes, "...and that's why you have to let me help him."

Chichiri looked at her, startled. "I told Mitsukake to tell you only that Tasuki had fought Tamahome while Tamahome was possessed, and that Tasuki was badly hurt. I didn't want you to have to know...I don't know why Mitsukake told you..."

"He didn't," Miaka interrupted. "I found out for myself when I went to see Tamahome. He, or rather the oni, was talking about it... laughing about it..." Miaka choked. Chichiri jumped up at the mention of the oni. "Don't worry. Nuriko has the... situation... under control."

"But I ought to be there. I need to confront the oni." Chichiri shot an agonized glance towards the bath chamber.

"Go on," urged Miaka. "I'll stay here with him. I'll be here for him." Chichiri wavered, unsure. "Don't worry, Chichiri. I am his priestess, after all." Chichiri nodded, then ran off, cursing the fact that he was needed everywhere at once. Miaka looked down thoughtfully at the mask which she had lifted from Chichiri's kesa. "Let's hope this thing will work on me." she murmured softly.

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Twilight glimmered through the windows set high in the walls of the bath chamber. A large sunken bath dominated one side of the chamber, a few last wisps of steam rising from the surface of the rapidly cooling water. Light from two small oil lamps cast a golden glow on the figure huddled in the center of the room, his head bowed and shoulders slumped.

Tasuki sat on the low bathing stool with a towel draped across his thighs, staring at the cake of soap in his hands and fighting despair. Gingerly, he rubbed the soap onto a small cloth and attempted to lift the cloth to his shoulders. Just then, his shoulder muscles cramped, causing him to squeeze the soap so tightly that it shot out of his hand. Attempting to catch the soap, he dropped his washcloth and overturned the basin of water sitting next to him. "Kuso!" he cursed, then put his face into his hands. "Big baby!" he snarled at himself. "Crying over a stupid piece of soap. I am so goddam sick of crying already!"

At that moment, the door slid open, admitting a female dressed in the short white robe of the emperor's bath attendants. Her hair was covered with a white kerchief, and her bowed head hid her face. "What are you doing here? Get OUT!!" shouted Tasuki. She fell to the floor in a terrified bow, as he put his hand up to his eyes to dash away his tears... and promptly got soap in his eyes. "Ow, ow, goddammit!" he cursed, struggling to clear his vision. He caught a brief glimpse of her curiously blank and plain face as she rose quickly from the floor. A soft cloth dampened with cool water was placed over his burning eyes, soothing them immediately. "Just keep it there awhile." the girl said in a hoarse whisper. "Please let me assist you, my lord."

Briefly, Tasuki wondered what was wrong with her voice, then all curiosity was driven out of his mind as his arms cramped painfully again, and he dropped the cloth that covered his eyes. The girl replaced the cloth gently. "Just tilt your head back, and it will stay in place," she whispered. "I guess I might need a little help," Tasuki conceded grudgingly, embarrassed but secretly grateful. In any case, this was what these girls did for a living, so the sight of a naked man was no big deal to them... and it wasn't as if he were a real man anymore, anyway... He flinched at the sudden sharp stab of grief, feeling tears beginning to trickle out of the outside corners of his eyes. He was glad to feel her pouring warm water over his hair, hiding his tears.

She gently shampooed his hair, touching his scalp lightly, avoiding the area of his concussion when he winced at her touch. Rinsing out the soap, she marveled at how the water appeared to douse the flames of his fiery hair, darkening the color. She soaped the washcloth, gently moving it over his shoulders, then moving around to his arms and chest, hesitating at his firm belly, then reaching with a trembling hand for the cloth which covered his hips. He stopped her with his own hand, handing her the cloth which had covered his eyes and taking the washcloth from her grasp. "I think I can take care of myself from this point... but I think I might need some help with my... my back." he said softly. She ducked her head in acquiescence, then moved behind him, using another cloth to clean him and trying to avoid putting pressure on the horrible bruise on his lower back at the same time. "Could you please... please stand?" she whispered. He struggled to get to his feet, suddenly supported by arms bracing his elbows. She bent to continue her ministrations... and stopped at the sight of the dried blood on his thighs. Her hands began to tremble, and she clasped them together to hide them from him. Forcing herself to move smoothly, she soaped his legs, then poured water over him, her eyes tearing as she watched the reddish foam slide down his legs.

She then bowed before him, keeping her eyes on her hands which were clasped in her lap. "May I assist you into the bath, my lord?" she whispered, her voice trembling. Tasuki closed his eyes, suddenly weary. "Don't call me that. I'm not your lord or any lord at all. I'm just a common bandit - or at least I was."

His voice dropped. "Now I'm nobody - now I'm nothing..." he whispered mostly to himself.

"You're not nothing! You're everything..." she choked.

He looked at her in surprise, noticing the tears dropping onto her hands. "Why are you crying?" He crouched before her and lifted her chin with one finger. "Do I know you?" He felt the unnatural texture of her skin, and recognized the mask. "Chichiri! Goddammit, are you playing tricks on me?!" He ripped the mask from her face. Tearful emerald eyes stared into angry amber eyes which then widened in shock. "Miaka?!!"

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Tasuk i stumbled back, the shock on his face changing to a look of betrayal, followed by shame and then despair. "Why? How could you... why did you...?" he broke off, fighting tears. Miaka tore off the kerchief which concealed her hair, letting her auburn locks tumble freely down her shoulders. She raised her arms to him, trying to draw him back to her. "I couldn't leave you to suffer here alone!" she cried. "Please don't look at me like that, Tasuki. I can't bear it!"

He glared at her, suddenly angry. "You can't bear it! YOU can't fucking bear it! Let me tell you something, Miaka, about what I can't bear! YOU!!! You finding out about this, looking at me with all that fucking pity, fighting your contempt! Touching me in all my filth, rising nobly above your disgust! Seeing me like this..." he broke down sobbing "...ugly…weak... " His voice rose in a wail. "...Unclean!!"

"How can you think that?!" she cried, trying to embrace him. He pulled back from her violently, wrapping his arms around himself. Unable to touch him, she tried to reach him with words. "You can never disgust me! You have given everything for me, suffered all of this for my sake! I know what happened - I know that I brought this on you by leaning on your strength yesterday. I know that you had a chance to save yourself... but he threatened me, me and Chiriko, and you sacrificed yourself for us! Like you always sacrifice yourself for me!" Miaka tried to control herself, lowering her voice. "You have no reason to think of yourself as unclean... but if you feel defiled, isn't it only right that I, as your priestess, should purify you?"

"Purify me..." Tasuki's voice was dull, his hair hiding his eyes as he knelt before her. "Have you any idea, Priestess, of what it would take to purify me? Do you think a little soap and water is enough to do the trick?" He looked up at Miaka at last, the utter desolation on his face striking through to her heart. "Did he tell you anything else about last night? Did he tell you that it wasn't all pain and torture for me?" She closed her eyes, unable to face the screaming pain in his face any longer. "Oh, so he did tell you," Tasuki breathed softly. "So you know that he touched me... and I responded... and he brought me to pleasure!" His voice thickened with self-contempt. "So what do you think of my sacrifice now, Priestess?"

Tasuki's voice began to rise in hysteria. "Water won't purify me, Miaka. But fire might! So give me back my tessen and let me purify MYSELF!!!"

"Stop it, STOP IT!!!" she screamed, then leaped at him suddenly, taking him by surprise. They both crashed into the sunken bath, then surfaced, spluttering. The shock of the water snapped Tasuki out of his hysteria, but Miaka continued in her frenzy, grabbing him from behind and pulling him to her, hugging him around the shoulders fiercely. "I won't let you do it, I won't let you even THINK it!" she sobbed. "You don't understand - none of this is your fault, you didn't want any of this!!" Her voice softened. "But your body is beautiful, Tasuki, and it was made for love... and the fact that he took advantage of that, and manipulated you and used you... doesn't mean that you wanted it! You DIDN'T want it, you fought him with everything you had, aren't I right, Tasuki?"

"Yes" he whispered. "I fought him." Tears began to run down his face. "I didn't want it, I didn't... " he sobbed.

"I know that, I know you!!" she wept with him.

And with those words, the knowledge flared up in her mind, illuminating all. She did know him... she finally knew him. Holding him in her arms, his wet skin slick beneath her fingers, feeling his body shake with his sobs, remembering the blood that he had shed for her time and time again - he finally became Real to her. Not just a surrogate brother, not just another playing piece that she needed to complete her set in this great celestial game, not just another casual friend to joke with… after all the weeks they had spent together since their first meeting, she finally saw him for the first time as the real person he was.

The oni had stripped her of her innocence with his cruel story - stripped her of her childish belief that she and her seishi couldn't really be hurt or killed in this fantasy world. But deep down, she had still believed that things couldn't be too bad, hadn't she? She had run in a panicked dash from the prison to Tasuki's chambers, needing to see that Tasuki was still alive… needing him to comfort her. It wasn't until she was confronted with the shocking sight of Tasuki huddled naked and weeping, his body bruised and broken and his soul filled with anguish and self-loathing, that she finally left her innocence behind for good. She let go of her childish belief that the world ran according to her needs. Miaka shuddered as she remembered her stupid conviction that Yui could just set aside her grief and pain over her own rape and go back to trusting Miaka as if nothing had ever happened to her. She finally realized that her childish need for Yui to be her best friend again had blinded her to the depth of suffering and rage in her childhood friend, and had unwittingly exposed herself and her warriors to extreme danger.

Miaka shivered at the memory and felt Tasuki shiver in response, his sobs catching in his throat. Fighting for self-control so that she could calm him, Miaka pulled Tasuki even closer. "It's alright, it's alright now," she soothed, rubbing his shoulders, trying to relieve the tension in his aching muscles, feeling the thin lines of adolescence which still held sway over his not-quite-mature body. His shoulders had not fully broadened to a man's width yet, nor had his chest - he still had some growing to do. Seeing him like this, stripped of his heavily padded coat and his bandit swagger, she realized that Tasuki was younger than she had thought. She had assumed that he was close to twenty years old, with him being selected leader of the Mt. Reikaku bandits and his obvious experience in that role. But she now realized that he was probably no older than Tamahome, not that much older than herself. She had leaned on him and expected him to protect her, subconsciously regarding him as some sort of celestial knight - while all the time, he was probably as unsure of his place in this universe as she was.

Miaka thought back on all the moments she had shared with Tasuki since their first meeting - how he was always the first to leap to her defense, to volunteer to accompany her into danger, to defend not only her physical safety but also her feelings. She remembered that terrible battle in Kutou against the kodoku-possessed Tamahome, that moment when she regained consciousness only to see the two locked in mortal combat, Tasuki slowly gaining the upper hand by using his tessen. "No more!!!" she had screamed. "Tasuki!! Please don't kill Tamahome!! … If he dies, I don't know what I'll do!!… Don't DO IT!!!" She remembered stricken amber eyes turning to her, those eyes widening in disbelief at her unknowing command… only to be answered by Tamahome's roundhouse kick to his chest. She remembered the resolve in Tasuki's face as he shoved the tessen back in its holster and turned unarmed to face Tamahome's nun-chucks. Tasuki had yielded to her feelings, although he had earlier refused to yield to Chichiri's pleas to spare their brother warrior. And those nun-chucks had struck again and again, breaking bones, driving him to his knees. But Tasuki had risen to his feet, still defying and taunting Tamahome. Only in his last desperate glance back at her and Chichiri, when he pleaded with them to get away while he "bought them time"… only then did she see that he was ready to die for her. He never even reached for the tessen as he prepared himself to die at Tamahome's hands to spare her love…

Miaka shuddered again as she realized what she had asked of Tasuki in that unthinking moment… she had stripped him of his one weapon and forced him to battle unarmed against an opponent who had no qualms about using his weapons. She had in effect commanded him, and Chichiri by association, to die for her… because in her childish thoughts, only Tamahome was Real to her. Only Tamahome mattered to her… Tears fell from Miaka's eyes as she realized that even if given another chance, she still couldn't allow Tasuki to kill Tamahome - but she might have at least cared enough to see how Tasuki was doing after the battle. No, she was so wrapped up in her own dark despair over losing Tamahome that she nearly killed herself, also endangering Hotohori as he risked his life to save hers. Had she been just a little more mature, she might have bothered to look at the seishi who surrounded her, loved and protected her, and realized that her actions really DID affect their lives. She should have been mature enough to understand Chichiri's warnings about the consequences of her actions, to realize that her actions affected people who were as real as Yui or Tamahome.

Tasuki was growing quieter in her arms, a few tears still trickling from his eyes. Filled with an overwhelming tenderness, she gently wiped the tears from his face. Had he wept like this, alone in his room, after the battle in Kutou? Had he wept with pain and humiliation, his injuries unable to be healed while Mitsukake spent two days healing herself, then Tamahome? She didn't know - she never bothered to find out, still being too caught up in her world of Tamahome, Tamahome, and nothing but Tamahome. Did Tasuki, famous for his combative bluntness, rebuke her for what had happened to him, other than his one broken remark to Chichiri about hating girls because "this kind of thing always happens whenever I get mixed up with them"? He had always been quick to call her "baka" and give her a gentle knock on the head, but he never reproached her for his injuries. He had plenty to say to Tamahome on that subject, and plenty to brawl about… but he never rebuked her.

Revelation after revelation flashed through her mind, her arms unconsciously tightening around Tasuki's body as he now drifted quietly against her, his head resting on her shoulder. All this time, he had fought for her, not out of a sense of duty - but out of love. He fought not only for the physical safety of the Priestess of Suzaku, but also for the feelings of Yuuki Miaka. He fought for her heart… and he was no more impervious to pain or death than she was. He fought for her because he loved her… and he had risked and lost everything for her.

Miaka suddenly felt something deep in her chest contract painfully. She felt her heart actually contract in pain as the most shocking revelation of all blinded her, making her almost gasp aloud. Deep inside, she had recognized his love… but never acknowledged it. But she was no longer that same little girl. She acknowledged his love now… and her heart sang out a reply. Before she knew it, she was breathing words of comfort, words of love, answering his love… "My brave warrior, my flame-haired hero, you're safe now, you're home..." She watched his eyes flutter closed as he floated gently against her... "My Gen-chan, my fiery fang-boy, I love you..."

Tasuki had been drifting, suspended just this side of consciousness, feeling peace surround him as her arms wrapped around him, soothing him in her embrace. But at her words, his eyes flew open. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Or was he dreaming?

"Miaka?" Tasuki asked uncertainly. She smiled down into his eyes. "Yes, the water's getting cold, we have to get out now." She stepped out of the water, her soaked robe clinging to her figure, and picked up a bath sheet, holding it out in such a way that he could step modestly into its folds without exposing himself. She then turned her back, removing her soaked garments and wrapping herself in another bathsheet. Tasuki looked away, wrapping his towel securely around his waist. "Yeah, it was just a dream." he thought, disappointed, letting his shoulders slump again.

"Tasuki? Is something else wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Just drifted off for a minute in the bath. Dreamed that I heard somethin'..."

"What?" Miaka asked, her eyes filling with tears. "Did you hear me tell you that you're beautiful? Or that you were made for love? Or maybe...maybe you heard me tell you that I love you."

Tasuki's eyes flew up to meet Miaka's tearful gaze. "Wh-wh-what?!" he stammered. "Why?..."

"Why I love you is easy. It's because you love me enough to go into Hell for my sake - how can I not love you in return? And it's not just because of what happened last night - deep inside, I feel as if I've known this for a long time, I just couldn't admit it to myself." Miaka caught her breath as she suddenly remembered Tamahome. She suddenly realized the complications of her admission - but something inside her could not regret having spoken her heart. "What this means, where do we go from here - I don't know any of that, and I can't make you any promises. I just wanted you to know..." she broke off, shaking her head.

Tasuki asked the question he dreaded. "And what about... Tamahome?"

Miaka's face creased in pain. "I still love him... in spite of everything, I still care about him and can't forget about him." She laughed bitterly. "Aren't I the most stupid girl you ever met? I tell you that I love you, then I tell you that I'm still in love with the man that attacked and nearly killed you. Believe me when I tell you that I didn't mean to cause you more pain..." She glanced briefly at his amber eyes, dark with emotion, then looked quickly away again. "I shouldn't have said anything. I'm still just an impulsive schoolgirl who blurts out things before thinking. Miaka no baka. I screwed up again, didn't I?"

"No..." Tasuki replied slowly, thoughtfully. "No, I'm glad you told me... and I'm glad that you're honest with me about Tamahome. You need to understand something - it wasn't Tama who did this to me, it's some kind of monster or spirit that possessed him. And when we sort this out and kick some mononoke ass, he'll be back to his old self, and you'll be able to love him freely again. And I'll still be grateful for the way you made me feel for the short time that you loved me."

There was silence for a moment, then Miaka strode up to Tasuki and slapped him across the face. He staggered back, shocked. "Tasuki no baka!" she shouted in his face. "How dare you think that you're just a temporary replacement for Tamahome! How dare you think that that's all you mean to me?!" Tears of rage began to fall from her eyes, but she continued to shout at him. "Don't you understand ANYTHING?! I may not be able to promise you 'happily ever after', but that doesn't mean I'll ever stop loving you! I'm going to love you for the rest of my life whether we end up together or not! Anything could separate us at any time, anything!" the anger suddenly left her, and she began to sob with grief. "Don't you understand? - you could have died last night! You could have died for me, and I would never have gotten the chance to tell you how I felt about you! You could have died without ever knowing how much I loved you! You could have left me forever!…"

Tasuki had heard enough. He grabbed Miaka and pulled her to him, silencing her shouts by placing his mouth over hers. Partially because of the tenderness of his bruised lips and newly bruised jaw, he moved his lips very gently, very softly against hers. Miaka's eyes fluttered closed, her entire body responding to the sensuality of his kiss. Gradually he opened his mouth against hers and tasted her lips with the tip of his tongue. She opened for him and was soon overwhelmed with the sensations that rushed through her as his tongue gently stroked hers. She felt her knees turn to liquid and her body turn to fire… she had never felt like this before! Yes, Tamahome's kisses were sweet and tenderly passionate… but they had never been this insistent, filled with so much raw need, entreating and demanding at the same time. And Tasuki's need aroused an answering need in her. Passion ignited in her blood and she pushed back against him, eager to taste him, her body pressing up against his, her fingers weaving through his soft hair. "They're right - he does taste of honey," she thought dreamily, luckily not remembering who "they" were at that moment. And with that thought, she felt her control slip away from her.

Miaka tried desperately to hold onto her sanity, her mind… tried to remind herself of her love for Tamahome and obligations to Suzaku, as well as the morals her mother had pounded into her head. But Tasuki's arms around her, the feel of his body against hers, made her breathless, dizzy… she felt as if she were spinning in a vortex of desire. She had never felt this out-of-control before! Suddenly, she understood exactly what it was that Taiitsukun had warned her against. Taiitsukun had feared this loss of control in the Priestess - but neither of them had been prepared for the unexpected direction the threat had come from. And now it was too late… she was lost, lost to him, lost in him - lost in the arousing, exhilarating unfamiliarity of him.

Their passion increased, burning hotter as they pressed against each other, pulling each other closer, their bodies separated only by the thin towels they wore. In spite of his injuries, Tasuki felt himself caught up in the inferno of desire that had ignited between them. He began to respond to the intoxicating feel of Miaka against him, her breasts pressed against his chest, the softness between her legs rubbing against his thigh.

Miaka answered him eagerly, responding to the siren's call of his body, her heart pounding in excitement at the feel of him and the power she held over him. She had never been in such intimate contact with a man before... and she nearly cried out in disappointment as he pulled back from her, embarrassed and confused. Suddenly aggressive, she grasped his hips, pulling him back into her, whispering, "See? I told you that you were made for love..." She rose up on her toes, encouraging even closer contact between them, mindlessly seeking that final communion between their bodies...

Tasuki groaned in ecstasy as she pressed herself unashamedly against his hardness, and he couldn't help pushing his hips towards her, causing her to moan and sigh in pleasure. As he felt her wrap herself around him, yielding to him, he felt her love and honest passion for him pushing back his shadows, cleansing him of the dark poison of the oni's violation of his body and soul. He felt as if she were lifting him, redeeming him...

"Purify me..." he sighed into her ear, his words both a command and a prayer. He lost himself in her, feeling his breath begin to grow short as his heart raced. "Purify me..."

Miaka trembled at his words, nearly exploding with desire. Unthinking, she placed her hands on the small of Tasuki's back and pulled him sharply towards her again.

Tasuki cried out at the sudden pain, stars shooting across his vision as he nearly fell to his knees in agony, bringing them down to earth again.

"Sorry, sorry!" she cried apologetically.

"No, thank the gods that happened, because I was just about ready to toss the future of Konan out the window," Tasuki sighed. "One more minute, and the Maiden of Suzaku would be a maiden no longer, and then where would we all be?"

"Well, you and I would be pretty happy, at least for the few weeks we would have before Seiryuu crushed us." Miaka teased.

"Yeah, but it wouldn't be very responsible of us, would it."

"Since when did you get such a sense of responsibility?"

"I don't know - but I can tell you that it fucking SUCKS!"

"Well, don't worry, Tasuki. I would have stopped us in time. I have wonderful self-control, you know." She lied boldly to him, her cheeks still flushed from the memory of her actions.

Tasuki wasn't buying it. "Oh, yeah? Well, if that's your version of self-control, heaven help me when you finally let loose - you'll probably kill me long before the enemy makes it to the gates. They'll find me dead in my bed with a blissful grin on my face."

"Mou, Tasuki!" Miaka pretended to be angry but was secretly overjoyed to hear Tasuki teasing again and to see that smart-aleck smirk on his face.

"Let's go to bed, Tasuki."

"Hey! What about my sense of responsibility?"

"To SLEEP, baka! I... I just don't want to be alone tonight, Tasuki."

Tasuki looked at Miaka keenly. "You mean that you don't want ME to be alone tonight, don't you?" Miaka lowered her eyes. "Hey," said Tasuki, suddenly serious. "It's okay with me if you stay. It's just that... there'll probably be nightmares. Maybe really bad ones."

"Hey, yourself." Miaka replied. "That's what I'm here for - to be here for you the way you're here for me."

"Somehow I like the sound of that. All right, let's go to bed...but no funny business, okay?"

"Urusai, baka!"

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Glossary of Japanese terms:

Kuso! - short for Shikuso, meaning Shit!

mononoke - evil spirit or ghost, also can mean demon

baka - stupid, or idiot, as in Miaka no baka -Stupid Miaka; or Tasuki no baka!- You idiot, Tasuki!

Urusai, baka! - Shut up, stupid!

Author's notes: Well, here's my interpretation of Miaka Yuuki - different, more mature than she was depicted at this point in the canon anime. I'm sorry if it seems that I'm bashing Miaka in her "recollections" (or having her bash herself!) - I really don't mean to. But her actions in the infamous kodoku battle scene in the anime have always driven me, and quite a few other older FY fans, NUTS!! I mean, she only cared about Tamahome and couldn't care less about what happened to Tasuki - nor realize that he was fighting for her life to begin with! This is also true of the earlier "rescue from Nakago" scene in the temple of Seiryuu, where she lets Chichiri take ki blast after ki blast from Nakago while she wastes time pleading with Yui, ignoring Chichiri's shouts for her to escape! But I don't choose to portray her as stupid - merely immature.

And this is the point in my fic where she deviates from the anime Miaka to become the White Stones Miaka. I have pushed her maturity forward in time to the Miaka at the end of the TV series or the OVAs, and I have used the rape of Tasuki as the catalyst for this transformation. This traumatic event in my fiction has forced her to see that the world consists of more than "Tamahome, Tamahome, and nothing but Tamahome." So feel free to let me know what you think! I take all comments and criticisms seriously! But that doesn't mean I'm going to change the storyyyyy… Heeheehee.

Onward to a few other points - Notice anything about the "first kiss" scene? It was inspired by Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing: "Peace! I shall stop thy mouth!"

Lastly, I wanted to chat about Tasuki's OOC way of speaking a higher class of (English? Chinese? Japanese? Ah, the confusion of falling in love with an English translation of a Japanese anime about characters from Ancient China!) when he is under stress. I based it on the English dubbed FY (ducks objects thrown by the sub-only fans - Gee, tough crowd here today!) in which Tasuki normally speaks in a whiny, smart-alecky, sarcastic tone of voice, changing to a straight, serious tone under conditions of stress e.g. the Nuriko scene. Much the same way that Chichiri loses the "ya know" (no da!) under pressure. Plus, it's damn near impossible to approximate the Kansai dialect on paper and in English, at least for my limited talents! So, Tasuki will continue to speak schizophrenically throughout this fic depending on who he's talking to, and what he's feeling at the time - hope this isn't too confusing!

And, speaking of the Chinese/Japanese confusion here, you probably noticed that I gave Tasuki a Japanese bathroom, where the person cleans himself thoroughly outside of the bath, rinsing off before going into the large bathtub for a hot water soak. I don't know if the Japanese acquired this custom from the Chinese, or if the Chinese have a totally different traditional bath - now I'm confused! Well, I'll just hide behind the fact that the Universe of the Four Gods is an alternate reality, anyway.

Ja ne!

Roku-chan