Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ White Stones in the Moonlight ❯ Resolutions ( Chapter 6 )

The characters from Fushigi Yuugi are the creations and property of Yuu Watase and related enterprises. I do not own them, and do not make any profit from this fiction except for my own enjoyment in spending time with them.

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Chapter 6. Resolutions (Tamahome, Chichiri, Nuriko, Mitsukake)

He felt himself drifting slowly up toward consciousness, feeling battered and strangely weakened. He opened his eyes to the soft golden glow of lanternlight, grateful that this time it was not overwhelming darkness which surrounded him. He sat up slowly, only then catching sight of his friends further down the corridor. Nuriko and Chichiri were kneeling on the ground, facing each other, their foreheads touching as they laughed softly at some private joke, something that filled their laughter with relief and simple love. Tamahome couldn't help smiling, too - their easy brotherly intimacy reaching out to touch something within him, making him yearn to join them. He yearned to be part of that... he had been part of that, he realized, remembering the close camaraderie which had sprung up between them during his travels with Hotohori, Nuriko, and Miaka, and then again on later adventures once Chichiri had joined them. It had not taken him long to establish bonds with Chichiri since they were forced to fight side-by-side against Kutou assassins from their first meeting, and later against Nakago himself.

Even after his disastrous experience in Kutou, once he had finally come back to himself after nearly dying at Hotohori's hand, it had not taken him long to fit back in with the newly completed company of warriors. They all seemed to share this brotherly connection to one another - which made the betrayal by Chiriko/Amiboshi so shocking and hurtful. And perhaps the pain and sense of loss went both ways - he was fairly certain that he had seen anguish and remorse in the eyes of the young Seiryuu warrior just before he chose death over capture. Tasuki had snarled that Amiboshi deserved to die, but Tamahome wasn't so certain - he now understood the yearning to belong that must have tormented the young flutist even as he planned their destruction. Tamahome, as the first of the Suzaku seishi to join up with the priestess, had always taken his inclusion in the group for granted.

That was why Tasuki's initial resentment of him after the kodoku incident never caused Tamahome a moment's thought. He never doubted that he belonged back with the Suzaku seishi, and his attitude was that Tasuki would just have to accept it. So he and Tasuki wrestled for position within the group like a couple of young wolves jostling for position within the pack. They jumped into brawls at the slightest provocation and shouted and bickered even more often, yet there was no real mean-spiritedness between them. In fact, it was this constant contact between the two young males that made them have the truest sibling relationship that existed between any of the Suzaku seishi. Tamahome had always felt like more of a father to his own young siblings, being forced into that role by his father's illness and the necessity of being the provider for his family, so his relationship with Tasuki was the first time that he encountered a "brother" who didn't hero-worship him. Instead, Tasuki challenged him, fought with him, kept him on his toes - and yet never once did Tamahome doubt that Tasuki would be there for him in any battle, and he was certain that Tasuki had grown to trust him in the same way. No matter how angry they appeared in their brawls, they always pulled their punches the same way that wolf cubs nipped instead of bit. They were content to end each brawl in a draw rather than cause each other any real harm.

Until last night... Tamahome gasped as a clear image suddenly appeared in his mind - Tasuki crying out in pain as Tamahome slammed him with superhuman strength into a table, the edge catching Tasuki across his back. "No!" he cried out, as the images began flying thick and fast in his mind - the punches, the slaps, the slams into walls and furniture, and then... "Noooooo!" he howled again. Hands squeezed his shoulders, and he looked up to see Nuriko and Chichiri crouched anxiously beside him, their faces frowning in concern.

"I remember..." he gasped. "I remember!!" and he began to scream.

"Nuriko!" barked Chichiri. "Get Mitsukake here as fast as possible - and make sure that he brings some sedative herbs!" Nuriko took off at a run.

"Tamahome!" Chichiri shook him hard, trying to get him back to reality again. "Tamahome, calm down!" But the young seishi continued to scream, his eyes unfocused, turned inward to the violent images that were flooding into his mind. Chichiri reached out to his ki, flinching as the intense turmoil in Tamahome's mind burned him as if it were a raging fire. Desperately, he tried to send waves of soothing ki toward the young warrior, but he himself was still recovering from the trauma inflicted on him when he had allowed the oni access to his own agonizing memories. Impatient at his failure to adequately quell Tamahome's agony, Chichiri resorted to basic human instincts and pulled Tamahome to him to comfort him with full body contact, wrapping his arms around the young seishi from behind. Tamahome continued to scream and struggle, and Chichiri expected to be flung aside by the young warrior's unnatural strength - but for some reason, he was able to overpower Tamahome and tuck his head under his chin. "Shhhhh, shhhhh" he whispered. "Hush, it's alright, shhhh..."

Tamahome began to respond, his screams trailing off into sobs. Finally he was able to choke out some words. "Gods, Chichiri, I can see it all!" he wept. "He's screaming at me, cursing... and I've got him down on the bed... and then I'm tearing his clothes... and then I'm touching... and now he's crying... and then I... oh, Gods, the blood!!" Tamahome's voice began to rise in hysteria again. Chichiri turned Tamahome to face him and slapped him just hard enough to get his attention.

"Tamahome, Suzaku no Seishi! Get control of yourself!" Tamahome seemed to respond to this command and subsided into sniffles and quiet sobs.

Chichiri turned him around and, settling into a more comfortable position, drew Tamahome close again. "Now listen, Tamahome," he said gently in the young seishi's ear. "These are the memories of the oni, left attached to your body when I pulled him out. You did not do any of these things - believe me when I tell you this. I know you, and I know what sort of man you are, so believe me when I tell you that you are not capable of inflicting such harm on anyone, let alone one of your brother warriors."

Tamahome relaxed at his words, leaning his head back against Chichiri's shoulder, breathing a little easier.

"You just have to learn to push these memories aside, to find a place to store them so that they can't rise up and torment you on a daily basis." Chichiri paused and smiled ironically at the counsel he was giving to his friend. Good advice, he thought - why don't you take it yourself? "In any case," he continued, "you should try to distinguish these borrowed memories from your own. Since you were pushed to the back of your consciousness as the oni committed these crimes, you should have a certain sense of distance from these memories - as if you were watching a play from right in front of the stage instead of being onstage yourself."

Tamahome nodded, taking a timid peek into his mind, relieved to perceive that sense of distance that Chichiri had described... until images from his recurring nightmare started pouring into his mind.

He heard his name called as if from a great distance. "Sou Kishuku, Suzaku no Seishi...." He moved toward the voice, its tones familiar but filled with a strange desperation. "Sou Kishuku, my brother warrior!" Tasuki! he thought, and surged forward, encountering a strange presence that tried to block his way. He wrestled with the presence, finally forcing it aside, shoving it down and back... then opened his eyes to find himself in his room, resting on something warm and firm. He looked down into amber eyes sparkling with tears. "Tasuki?" he asked, confused, feeling as if he had been drugged. "Oh, thank the gods, I knew you would hear me, Tama!" sobbed his friend. "I knew you would help me!" He saw that Tasuki's hands were bound above his head with some white material, then noticed the bruises on Tasuki's face and body - wait, on his BODY? He realized that Tasuki was naked beneath him, and so was he, and he himself was... aroused? "SHIT!!" he screamed. "What the HELL is going on here, Tasuki?!" "Never mind, I'll explain later - just untie me before he comes back!" panted Tasuki. "Who?!" he shouted. "Just hurry!" sobbed Tasuki. Shaken by the sight of Tasuki crying, something he had never seen before, he scooted up and started to wrench at the firmly knotted white material which bound Tasuki's wrists. "I knew you would help me, I knew you would..." sighed Tasuki, beginning to calm. He looked down at Tasuki, still disoriented, noticing the amber eyes lined with dark lashes, filled with hope as they gazed into his, noticing the bruised and swollen lips, another bruise darkening one cheek of his fine-boned face... "Beautiful..." he thought. "I never noticed that he was so beautiful..." As he reached for a better angle to work on the knots, his skin brushed against his friend's, an unfamiliar sensation that filled him with a sudden rush of warmth... Suddenly, he felt himself being yanked back. He saw Tasuki's eyes widen in surprise and then in betrayal as his hands dropped away from the knots. He turned to fight the foreign presence he had fought before, but this time it overpowered him, shoving him back... "Noooooo!!" he heard Tasuki scream...

"Noooooo!!" he echoed, his scream startling Chichiri, who thought that he had calmed. "Tamahome, what is it?!" the monk asked urgently.

"Oh gods, it was me!" cried Tamahome. "It was my fault! I was there, and I could have saved him... but then I noticed that he was beautiful, and just for a moment, I... and then it was able to push me back!" Tamahome continued to wail. "Did I want it? Did I let it happen, becauseI wanted it?! Gods, what kind of low-life must I be, to do that to him?!"

"No, listen, Tamahome!" Chichiri turned Tamahome to face him again, but Tamahome suddenly noticed Chichiri's torn shirt.

"Oh, Suzaku!" he screamed. "I tried to do it to you, too, didn't I? Didn't I!" He pushed away from Chichiri, covering his head with his arms and crying uncontrollably.

Just then, Mitsukake and Nuriko arrived. The big man took in the situation at a glance, then knelt beside Tamahome. Forcing his head up, he forced the distraught youth to take a few sips of an herbal infusion. Tamahome choked but managed to swallow. Looking up at the three seishi who surrounded him, his face crumpled in shame, and he turned his back on them, drawing up his knees and weeping softly to himself.

Nuriko looked up at Mitsukake, tears in his violet eyes. "Can I hold him?" he asked. "If he'll let you..." the healer replied. Nuriko scooted up to Tamahome, who flinched away. But Nuriko continued to patiently move closer until he was able to lay an arm across Tamahome's shoulders. "It's just me, Tama-chan." he whispered brokenly, then laying his head on Tamahome's shoulder, he wept softly with his friend.

Chichiri and Mitsukake moved further down the corridor so that they could talk without disturbing the two grieving friends.

"What's going on here?" asked Mitsukake.

Chichiri shook his head. "He's a boy. He's just a boy who doesn't understand the normal reactions of his own body. Nuriko told you that we exorcised the oni, right? Well, as a parting gift, it left behind all the memories of this body, and now Tamahome is blaming himself for what happened to Tasuki. It seems that midway through the attack, Tamahome was able to take himself back and started to rescue Tasuki, but then felt the normal response of an adolescent male to a warm body pressed up against him. The oni was able to use this response to overpower Tamahome again, and so now he thinks that he is the one responsible for the rape, that he wanted it to happen."

"Did you explain it to him?"

"You can see what state he's in - does he look like he's listening to reason? Anyway, he's decided that I'm his latest victim, and he won't face me, let alone listen to me."

Mitsukake glanced at Chichiri's torn shirt and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Don't ask." Chichiri sighed. "But there is one thing that's troubling me. Tamahome's seishi power should confer a little extra maturity on him. It should give him a little more control over his emotions. I saw that in him earlier today, first when he sought our help for Tasuki, and just before, when he joined Nuriko and me in our fight against the oni even though he knew the risks to himself were very high. But just now, he was completely out of control, as if he were an ordinary..."

Chichiri's voice trailed off, as his eye widened in horror. "Oh, no..." he breathed.

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Chichiri turned around and approached Tamahome and Nuriko quietly. The two young seishi had calmed each other and were silent, save for an occasional sniffle. Reaching out gently, Chichiri touched first Nuriko's ki, and then Tamahome's. He frowned, then reached out to Tamahome again. His suspicions confirmed, he returned to Mitsukake, one hand rubbing his temple.

"What is it?" the healer asked.

Chichiri looked up at him, his eye darkened and troubled. "It's Tamahome's seishi power - it's gone. And I have a very good idea - and a very bad feeling - about where it is right now."

"Suzaku took it." Tamahome's voice was dull and weary. Chichiri and Mitsukake were startled, not realizing that Tamahome was paying attention to them. "Suzaku took it back," he repeated, "because he decided that I'm not worthy to be one of his seishi. He doesn't want me anymore - and that's fine with me, because I don't want me anymore, either..."

Chichiri strode back to Tamahome. "Stop that, Suzaku no Tamahome." he commanded. "This evil act has nothing to do with Suzaku. You know perfectly well that it must have happened during the exorcism - that this is the oni's work, not Suzaku's. Do not insult our god by attributing such petty acts to him."

Tamahome did not meet Chichiri's eye, merely shrugging and turning his back on them again. Chichiri started forward angrily, but Mitsukake restrained him, shaking his head and leading him down the corridor.

"You were right the first time, Chichiri - he is in no condition to listen to reason. Right now, he is a traumatized adolescent boy, and the best thing to do is to give him some time to heal. Let's get him back to his room and just let him rest..."

"I'm not going back there." Tamahome spoke out again, surprising them again with his acute hearing. "I'm not going anywhere except back to my cell. That's all I want. That's all I deserve."

Nuriko looked up at Tamahome tearfully. "Please, Tama-chan. Let me take you back to my room. Let's get out of this place and go somewhere where it's warm, where there's light..."

Tamahome just got up, dislodging Nuriko, and walked back to the cell. Nuriko chased after him calling his name. When they reached his cell, Nuriko grasped his shoulder and turned him around. "Tama-chan, please listen. Don't punish yourself like this - I can't bear to see you hurting like this!"

Tamahome paused, looking Nuriko in the eye... then suddenly shoved him back and slammed the cell door shut.

Nuriko got up angrily. "Damn you, don't think that you can lock me out!" Powering up his gauntlets, he grasped the cell door and ripped it off its hinges, throwing it so that it clanged against the next cell.

Chichiri and Mitsukake came running at the sound of the altercation... and saw Nuriko kneeling at Tamahome's feet, his head resting in Tamahome's lap, as tears streamed down both their faces. "I won't leave you, Tama-chan... I'll never leave you here." Nuriko sobbed. "So if you want to stay in prison, so will I - we'll both be imprisoned together." Tamahome didn't reply, but he put out a trembling hand and gently stroked Nuriko's hair.

The two elder seishi backed away quietly from the tender scene, unable to speak for a few moments. Finally Chichiri broke the silence. "Nuriko, the seishi who loves..." he said softly, wonderingly. "Will you be the salvation of us all?"

Mitsukake finally found his voice. "It would be wonderful if he could work his magic on Tasuki as well..."

"How is Tasuki doing, Mitsukake?" Chichiri asked.

"I don't know - I thought that you were with him. I was surprised when Nuriko told me you were down here with Tamahome..."

Chichiri paled. "I left Miaka watching over him...but that was hours ago! You don't suppose she's left him alone?!"

They looked at each other, then took off at a run.

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They arrived at Tasuki's room panting, breathless from their headlong dash from the prison to the upper floors of the palace. Chichiri could not sense any of the former anguish in Tasuki's ki. "He's either deeply asleep - or near death." he told Mitsukake. "Thanks for the reassurance." grumbled the healer.

They pulled open the door to Tasuki's room - and saw two figures in the bed instead of one. The gentle light of a lamp shone on the auburn locks of their priestess as they blended with the fiery locks of her fifth seishi. Miaka lay on her back with Tasuki's head resting on her shoulder as he curled toward her, his arm around her waist. He must have subconsciously sensed their intrusion, for his ki flared up briefly, and he cried out softly. "Tama, don't go! ...the black leaves... the black leaves are covering me!" Miaka stirred without waking. "Mmmmm," she murmured in her sleep, caressing his hair. "'S'okay, Gen-chan.. .I love you..." He quieted immediately, sleeping peacefully in her arms once again.

Chichiri and Mitsukake backed out of the room silently, closing the door, struck speechless for the second time that night. They looked at each other stunned, not knowing what to say.

Finally, Mitsukake cleared his throat. "Well, he does seem a lot better, doesn't he?"

Chichiri stared off into space. "I don't know how many more curves I can take... this situation grows more complicated by the hour! I thought that the exorcism would end our troubles, and that we could start the healing process... but the changes are reverberating, increasing like ripples in a pond from a rock tossed into its center." He sighed, finally smiling up at Mitsukake. "But you're right - on the bright side, Tasuki is healing much faster than I expected, no doubt due to Miaka's help. I can't sense any of the self-destructive impulses in his ki that were there earlier today - so I think that you should heal him whenever you feel ready."

Mitsukake smiled, pleased. "We'll discuss it at breakfast, all right?"

Chichiri shook his head. "I won't be here. Now that Tasuki is stabilized, I have to leave - I have to go to Mount Taikyoku."

"Now? Why?"

Chichiri sighed again. "Well, my cover story is that the oni has somehow managed to wrest away Tamahome's seishi power, and we need to get it back. I dare not open the scroll here because that will probably put us right back where we started, except worse, because we won't know who has been possessed by the oni until it's too late. It's Taiitsukun's fault, anyway - so she should have a hand in cleaning up her own mess."

Mitsukake looked at Chichiri in shock.

"Oh, didn't Nuriko get a chance to tell you? The oni pointed the finger at Taiitsukun as the one who got him into Tamahome's body - and it was just as I suspected from the beginning. Who else would have such power over, or such access to a Suzaku Shichiseishi? It happened after the failed summoning, when Taiitsukun was handing out gifts. Although she claimed that she gave Tamahome nothing, it turned out that she tried to give him some extra demon power without knowing that the oni was attached to it."

Chichiri's eye narrowed. "But I have no reason to trust either of the major players in this game. Some things that the oni let slip, about an unfair balance of power between the Suzaku and Seiryuu warriors, make me wonder whether this truly is a major mistake on Taiitsukun's part - or whether it's a move calculated to cause chaos in our ranks, in the interests of appeasing Seiryuu. At any rate, I need to know the truth before we set out on a journey that she suggested, to retrieve the Shinzaho. I have no interest in leading us all into certain death just for her amusement..."

Mitsukake noted Chichiri's slip in referring to himself as leading them all. Although Chichiri always appeared to defer to Hotohori's proclamations, Mitsukake was pleased that Chichiri truly was the guiding hand of the Suzaku Seven. It was only right - Chichiri was the eldest, the wisest, and the most experienced warrior, and Mitsukake felt safer placing their fates into his capable hands. But he was concerned about this upcoming confrontation with the powerful oracle of the Four Gods.

"Chichiri, are you sure that you should go there alone? I worry what will happen if Taiitsukun becomes angry with you... Won't you let one of us accompany you?"

Chichiri smiled at his friend's concern. "Don't worry, Mitsukake. I have a few powers that not even Taiitsukun knows about - I can take care of myself. Besides, you all are needed here desperately - none of you can be spared."

"But aren't you going to be gone just a short while, a few hours, Suzaku willing?"

"No. I'm not going to transport myself there the usual way. I prefer to enter through the back door this time, so that I can have a quick look around before I announce my presence to Taiitsukun."

"The back door?"

"Yes. I used to live on Mount Taikyoku for awhile, you know, studying with Taiitsukun. I, ahem, created a way to get back there without Taiitsukun's permission, just in case I ever needed to do so. But it requires several days ride out to the actual ice-covered mountain to access this door. If everything goes well, and I can transport back, you should see me in about five to six days. If not, and I have trouble, it may take me longer but I will get word back to you. And that is why I cannot spare any of you from your tasks here."

Mitsukake grumbled. "I think I could be spared without much loss..."

Chichiri reached up to grip his friend's shoulder. "No, my friend, I need you here most of all. I am counting on you to hold everything together, to keep the shichiseishi from blowing apart under this tremendous stress."

"How can you expect me to do that? I don't have their trust the way you do, Chichiri!"

"They trust you more than you know, Mitsukake. And as for the seishi who may have their doubts, now is the time for you to prove yourself to them." Chichiri glanced back at Tasuki's room. "And you might want to start with that young one there. Not only will he need your wise counsel to help him through the terrible after-effects awaiting him, but right now, like Tamahome before him, he holds all of our fates in his arms, literally. There is a powerful connection between him and Miaka - more powerful than the one between Miaka and Tamahome, and we know how difficult it has been for Miaka to resist Tamahome. You need to make sure that their attraction to one another and their need for each other doesn't lead them down a path that will end our mission before it starts."

"Oh, thanks for landing me with that one! On top of everything else, you want me to teach sex education to the most hot-headed, ornery, pain-in-the-ass adolescent it has ever been my displeasure to... Listen, why don't you just stay around for the next few hours, and you can tell him…"

Chichiri turned and interrupted the tall physician in mid-rant. "Where has the time gone? Gotta go - bye!" He laughed at the outrage on Mitsukake's face. "No rest for the wicked, no da!"

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Author's Note: I want to make sure that I credit Purple Mouse (Mouse-chan) as the one who defined Nuriko as 'the seishi who loves' in her marvelous fanfic "Another Story". Thanks for the loan, Mouse-chan - it's just too good a characterization not to use!

As for the questions about the meaning of the title "White Stones in the Moonlight" - yes, I know it's confusing, since I have neither white stones nor moonlight - yet. The meaning will become clearer as the chapters progress, first in Chapter 10, then definitely in the last chapter. But if you can't wait, I borrowed the concept from the liner of the CD "White Stones" by Secret Garden. (No, not Savage Garden...Secret Garden).

Gee, lots of borrowing going on here - am I the kleptomaniac author, or what?