Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ True Thoughts ❯ Emotionless ( Chapter 4 )

[ A - All Readers ]

Disclaimer: I do not own anything relating to Gravitation and I do not claim ownership to any of the characters in this story. I am simply a tremendous fan of the show and I wanted to write a fanfic. Please don't hold that against me.

A/N: Well, here's chapter number four. I still haven't decided how many chapters there will be in this story but I'm pretty sure there won't be many of them. Anyways, enjoy this chapter.

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Yuki was mad. No, he wasn't mad, he was absolutely furious. He had just finished his conversation with Shuichi's best friend, Nakano Hiroshi, and was not pleased with the results. He had called the red haired guitarist early this morning, knowing he'd be home. Shuichi had whined for hours over the weekend about how he'd be the only one going to work today, to add his voice to Bad Luck's latest album.

It had taken about five minutes for Hiro to answer the phone, then, after Yuki had calmly explained the situation, he simply said, "Maybe, if you actually paid attention to him for once, you'd be able to figure out what's wrong with Shuichi. Now, if you don't mind, I'm tired and I'm going back to bed." Then the line went dead and Yuki was left in an extreamly bad mood.

Now Yuki had only one choice left, he had to come right out and ask Shuichi what was going on. Unfortunately that required the writer to take an entire day off of working in order to figure out how to ask Shuichi what was wrong with him without seeming concerned or even curious, emotion would be very bad. Yuki had discovered long ago that any little semblance of emotion would only encourage Shuichi, and that was a very bad thing.

For the next four hours, Yuki Eiri sat on his couch and thought of ways to get Shuichi to reveal his secret problem. At around 2:00 in the afternoon, an idea came to him. He'd wait until Shuichi did something stupid and then ask what the hell was wrong with him and then Shuichi would apologize and ramble on about how he was upset about K trying to shoot him or being overworked or something small and insignificant like that. Shuichi had a tendency to let small things bother him too much.

Had Yuki been in any way like Shuichi he probably would have been engulfed in the flames of determination (much like Shuichi was when he was determined to prove that Sakuma Ryuichi was, in fact, his god), however, Yuki was not that much like Shuichi and so he settled for chugging down the rest of his beer and sitting on the couch to await his lover's return. No point in going back to work, he had a plan to execute.

Shuichi got home about two hours later, a bag of groceries tucked under one of his arms. He had gotten up this morning to find that there was nothing to eat in Yuki's apartment and, wanting to avoid his "talk" with Yuki as long as possible, had decided to make a stop by the store. As he set the bag down on the counter he failed to notice Yuki sitting on the couch, though the writer was watching him intensely.

Yuki's chance came while Shuichi was finished unpacking the groceries. The vocalist was trying to get a glass of grape juice when the bottle slipped from his hands and juice was spilled all over Yuki's favorite white shirt.

Yuki didn't really have to fake anger, his rehearsed and well planned line came out without any effort, "What the hell's wrong with you, Shuichi?"

Shuichi stared at the blonde for a moment then answered the question in an empty voice, "I don't know."

Yuki's anger was gone in a second, Shuichi's voice had never been so devoid of emotion before. "What do you mean you don't know?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm always making you angry and messing things up. At first I thought that you hated me because I was too loud and too hyper so I changed everything about me, from my hair and eyes to my attitude, but you still aren't happy. So what is it Yuki, what's wrong with me?" Shuichi asked quietly. His eyes were focused on Yuki even as his mind got ready to take in the full list of problems Yuki was about to read off.

However, that list had only one word on it and Yuki spoke it without hesitation, "Nothing."

"What?" Shuichi asked, utterly confused by Yuki's one word answer.

"I said 'nothing.' There is nothing wrong with you Shuichi, there never has been. It's me who has the problems. Anyone who could inflict so much pain on someone like you Shuichi has very serious problems."

"But Yuki, I'm stupid and clumsy and loud and obnoxious and who knows what else. You've always said I was those things about me. I tried so hard to fix them, really I did, but I'm just so tired Yuki. I'm tired of trying to change. I love you Yuki, I always will, but I can't change who I am. I've tried and tried and I just can't. I'm sorry Yuki, I'm so very sorry."

Yuki stared at the crying vocalist in front of him. Shuichi had changed a lot more than anyone had probably ever realized, and all of it had happened right under Yuki's nose and he hadn't even noticed. Looking into Shuichi's false brown eyes Yuki realized something else, Shuichi had a look of sad determination in his eyes and the writer realized it was now or never. This was his chance and he knew he'd regret it if he allowed it to pass him by.

"Shuichi, don't be sorry, it's not your fault. If I wasn't such a cold bastard I would have told you this a long time ago. I need you, Shuichi. You're light and I'm dark, you're noise and I'm silence, you're color and I'm blank. We're opposites and without one the other can't exsist. When I felt like killing myself, you reminded me of life, and this is how I repaid you. The way I've treated you Shuichi is not how you treat someone you love." Yuki said cautiously. He wasn't used to expressing his emotions, he just hoped Shuichi would understand what he meant.

"Someone you love?" Shuichi said, his voice filled with awe. He understood full well what Yuki was trying to say.

At Yuki's small nod the vocalist launched into the writer's arms, but before long he pulled away and looked up into Yuki's golden eyes, "Say it, Yuki. Even if it's the only time you ever say it for the rest of eternity it'll be enough...just this once."

Yuki smirked, "Only if you promise to get rid of those ugly contacts and rinse that dye out of your hair."

"Fine fine, I promise...say it."

Yuki smiled and pulled the vocalist closer, "Fine, I love you, Shuichi. There I said it...now go turn back into my pink-haired, purple-eyed brat, I kinda miss him."

Shuichi smiled happily and gave Yuki a tight hug before prancing off to return his hair and eyes to their natural color.

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Well, I guess this ended up being the last chapter. Unless of course you guys want one more, cause I think I could handle one more. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this story and I hope you'll all review. Ja ne. ^-^