Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Cadaver Company ❯ King of the Road ( Chapter 3 )

Cadaver Company

 

Chapter Three: King of the Road

 

I had to dismantle Heavyarms.

I know- what idiot tries to take apart a Gundam? The same idiot who had a hand in putting it together actually. The only person who knows more about Heavyarms than I do is Doktor S and in some strange way I think he'd approve. He always did enjoy challenging people in life or death situations.

Besides, I had enough dead weight to be deal with- and between Heavyarms and Yuy, only one could be broken up into reassembly parts without the loss of life. Although it's debatable just who is the heaviest of the two. Hopefully this stint with the coma will lighten the guy up.

It's not a well known fact that the Gundams, in an emergency situation, can be broken up into six parts- head, body, two arms and two legs- for easy transport. Since they're also made of Gundanium- hence the whole Gundams thing- they don't show up on regular metal detectors and scans. It's really only the heat scans that we have to watch out for and with my plan that shouldn't be a problem.

My first job was to order a truck of fish to be delivered to the L3 Circus. It would be ready for pick-up by my driver- namely me- for tomorrow afternoon. I had until then to get my Gundam into bite-sized pieces and smuggle Yuy out of the building.

That meant buying clothes for my corpse. That meant shopping and malls and people.

One tiny sliver of silver in our great big storm cloud was that Yuy's sneakers- those ugly yellow things- had survived the blast completely. Not a scratch on them. I'd actually hazard a guess and say that they look even better but then I'd be pushing it.

I didn't know why I was complaining so much to tell the truth. I needed to make a supply run before we left to get more bandages and another trip to the hospital was necessary….

Now that I think about it all of this stuff is for Yuy and he wasn't even conscious enough to help carry it. Inconsiderate jerk.

That also meant that I'd need to rent a car so cart his ass around in. I could only keep up the guise of caring step-brother for so long and it certainly would hold up if we had to take public transit.

I had Yuy's wounds rewrapped in record time before taking one of the sheets of his bed and winding around his body. I didn't like the idea of leaving a man helpless while I was gone so I had to improvise.

I ended up stuffing him under the bed and hiding the medical supplies before locking all three bolts on the door.

Hopefully that would keep anyone else out and Yuy in if he woke.

I ended up taking the bus- at least until I got my car- and that one ride killed the idea of ever using it again. I missed the first bus, had to stand in the bloody rain for the second, which was late and then ended up with my face in some sweaty construction worker's armpit for the whole trip.

I got off three stops early.

By the time I actually arrived at the car rental agency, my hair resembled something we once ate when I had been a mercenary.

In short, I looked like a drowned rat and they treated me like one. It took a blood and urine sample before I could drive away with my beat-up old Honda. It was a green color that reminded me of the time Winner ate too much sushi and had a rattle that put my teeth on edge.

Still, it ran good enough and was dry- so I wound up looking more like a fluffy bunny than a drowned rat by the time I had reached the Shopping Center. I must have sat in my car for ten minutes, just watching the people going in and out of the revolving doors. I had a clear mission objective- get the damn supplies- and a burning desire to do it quickly. Shouldn't be a problem right?

That's when I learned to NEVER cut in through the cosmetic department on your way to get hair gel. Never.

Two girls, both wearing more make-up than I've seen some clowns use, quickly caught me in their claws- er, hands- and started talking in rapid Japanese. Very rapid Japanese- the kind you only hear when people are excited or on drugs.

I knew I was in serious need of back up when they started…..floofing up my bangs. They. Touched. My. Bangs.

Resistance was futile as these…..harpies had more strength than they should have- maybe it was all that make-up- and my ass was sitting in one of those spinning chairs before I could blink.

A tube of something that looked like…. anti-bacterial cream? was pulled out from somewhere and I sneezed as the powerful scent of roses filled the air. As one of the clown harpies began running her hands through my hair, the shorter of the two bent down to just…smile at me.

It was the smile of a devil.

Then my hair was covering both of my eyes and the feeling of being completely trapped over-came me.

I'm not sorry to say that I made a break for it when I did, as the one with the deceptive grin had some sort of flesh colored cream spread over her fingers, and those fingers had been headed for my face.

I dashed through the Hair Care department, grabbing my gel along the way, and cut across the woman's clothing section before hiding behind a display of baby clothes.

They must have been in pursuit because that nauseating stench of roses still followed me.

It only took about a minute and three strange looks from other shoppers for me to realize that the smell was coming from me. Or more specifically, my hair.

Now not only did I have floofy bunny hair, but I smelled like Treize Kushrenada's bubble bath.

I grit my teeth. “The things I do for Heero Yuy.”

Reaching the men's clothing department, I quickly grabbed a couple of pairs of jogging pants and a few tanks tops, sweaters and one jacket. I didn't look at textures or colors- Yuy was dead to the world, what did he care is he was wearing matching clothes or not? Then again, I mused as the girl at the check out shot me an amused look, Yuy wore forest green tanks and spandex shorts most of the time. I doubt the latest fashion trends ranked high on his personal priority list.

I'm pretty sure I left a dust cloud in my wake as I left the Shopping Center. The rain hadn't let up and I cringed at the slippery feel of that rose goop sliding down my neck. With my luck it would soak into my shirt and leave that horrible smell everywhere.

“How am I supposed to break into a hospital smelling like the whole entire floral department?” I complained lowly to myself as I drove back to the apartment.

If it was still standing- considering my luck I'd be surprised- I would need to take a shower, check on Yuy and then hit the hospital.

I checked my time. Heavyarms was a good six hours away by car and I needed time to take him apart. I also needed a hoist and a bloody miracle but beggars can't be choosers. My plan could still work if I dismantled my Gundam while it was inside the trailer…….. A bit of the fish and ice shaving would need to be sacrificed for the cause but it could still work.

For the first time in nearly a week, things were looking up.

Cat Lady gave me a nasty look as I approached our mutual corner of the hall. I'm not entirely sure what it was for- the hair or the smell or something else entirely- but it solidified my need to move tonight. The trucking company was a short distance from Heavyarms and the space port a full night's drive after that.

Yuy hadn't moved, much to my dismay. A part of me still hoped that he would have been awake and glaring at me- hell I would have welcomed him trying to get a bullet off by now- when I returned.

Instead 01 had stayed wrapped up in his sheet, like a damned mummy, and I had to drag his ass out from under the bed again. There was a moment, when my fluff of hair brushed his face, where I'd thought his nose had wrinkled from the stench but when I looked again it was gone.

Or maybe the fumes were getting to me.

I put him back on the bed with a huff and went to shower.

It took nearly forty minutes and half a bottle of shampoo to dilute the smell to something that didn't give me a migraine. Roses still filled the air around my head and I dropped my expressionless mask to scowl in the mirror. No matter how much I had cursed the others disappearing on me before, I sincerely hoped we did not cross paths until this gunk wore off. Or I broke down and shaved my head- which ever came first.

Next came dressing my comrade and in pulling out the mismatched clothing I realized that, in my haste to finish my shopping, I'd forgotten one piece of clothing.

Yuy was going to have to go commando.

Not that it really mattered to him, being in a coma and all. He'd learn to deal.

You never realize how hard it is to dress someone else, especially when that person is unresponsive, until you have to do it. It's like trying to dress a piece of over-cooked spaghetti- all limp and floppy. Of course my piece of spaghetti had bruises and wounds and bandages and an I.V. that I had to watch out for.

It took nearly fifteen minutes to get Yuy dressed up in a pair of dark blue sweat pants, a black tank top and a new green windbreaker. Then came on the ugly yellow shoes. The end result had my patient looking like he'd been dressed by a kindergartener or a blind man.

I took stock of the remaining medical supplies and made a quick run with them and my duffle bag down to the car before coming back for my `brother.' Cat Lady had turned in for the night and the hall was empty as made my way to the elevator, Yuy riding piggy-back style.

The elevator dinged open and I was greeted by a pair of shocked eyes. The man was dressed in a black business suit and thankfully made room for me and my burden when I stepped through the doors.

The silence was heavy as I shifted Yuy on my back.

“Wild night?”

I glanced at my elevator companion quickly before nodding. I hoped my silence would give him the hint that I didn't want to talk.

It didn't. No one ever gets the bloody hint.

“So you got stuck being the designated driver?” He tried to give me a knowing look. It came off more like he was in pain. “I bet you're the responsible one of the group, hey?”

That was….surprisingly correct. Chang had an unimaginably short temper, Winner was a Class A worrier, Maxwell was reckless and Yuy a suicidal maniac. Compared to those four I was the responsible one.

I guess it showed on my face or something because that got a chuckle out of the Suit and he gave me a condescending pat on the shoulder before the doors binged open again and he left.

I shifted my weight again and hoped for the sudden end of the whole human race before we hit the ground floor. At least then I wouldn't have to deal with anyone else again.

No one stopped me as I virtually kidnapped Yuy and stogged him in the passenger seat of my ugly little Honda. It was almost pitiful how easy it had been to transfer myself and my unconscious pain in the ass.

I shrugged slightly as I pulled out of the parking lot and into the light traffic. The night wasn't over yet and with my luck, or lack thereof, I'd probably get mistaken for a patient at the hospital. Or Yuy would.

Oh. Shit.

I ended up parking almost a block away from the hospital and I stuffed Yuy down to sit on the floor before covering him with one of the blankets I had in my duffle bag.

Then I took my empty backpack and went to hit the stash.

Despite what everyone may think, it's frightfully easy to steal from a hospital- even when your hair smells like something you'd find on a two dollar whore. It's basic infiltration at its finest. You simply act like you belong there and that you know what you're doing. Someone smiles at you, you smile back. You blend.

I left with a few more bags of saline, more clean I.V.s, a couple bottles of morphine and antibiotics and last but not least two catheters- because no matter how much I've already done for Yuy I am not letting him piss in my trailer when we get to L3. No way. Relena may think she knows devotion but she hasn't a thing on me. I wonder if she would have been willing to change Yuy's sheets until I got this little plastic tube.

I doubt that brat has even seen pissy sheets, never mind touched them.

Things went off without a hitch. I even got to buy a sandwich for the road from the vending machine. As we left Tokyo behind, I had the distinct feeling of waiting for the other boot to drop.

I expected the car to stall. I expected Yuy to spaz out and do something weird again. Hell, I expected a damn monsoon to come down on our head.

I did not expect to get pulled over by the cops.

It felt almost…surreal as the man in navy stepped up to my window and tapped it gently. He even asked for my license and registration in that typical `officer of the law' voice. I explained that the car was a rental and he gave me a bored `Hn.'

When I covertly looked over at Yuy's sleeping face, just to make sure it wasn't him making that sound, the cop caught sight of him.

He shone his flashlight into Yuy's slack face and frowned.

“What's the matter with him?”

My mind flashed back to the Elevator Incident. I shrugged.

“Drunk.”

I got that damned knowing smile again.

“Must have been some party.”

“It was a real blast.” I commented, thinking about the fight in Siberia. My cop friend chuckled and flashed the light at Yuy again.

“He's three sheets to the wind!” He sounded delighted. “What happened?”

For some reason I felt like pulling a Maxwell.

“Met his rival at the party.” I sent my still comrade a not-so-faked glare. “Then the pissing contest started.”

The cop- Officer Yanko said the name tag- smirked. “Did your friend win?”

For some reason, Heero's determined face flashed across my mind when Une issued the ultimatum. Surrender the Gundams or the colonies get it. Heero gave them the ultimate `fuck you.'

I felt a true grin curve my lips. “Yes. He won this round.”

Yanko gave my drunken friend another once over and snorted before pulling away.

“You tell your friend once he sobers up to stop dressing in the dark. Green, blue and yellow?”

I felt like the comment was directed at me somehow- ridiculous really, because the cop couldn't have known that I'd bought Yuy's clothes and dressed him as well- and I turned away from his face.

“He just doesn't like shopping.”

The cop's mocking laughter echoed as he turned and walked back towards his car.

I waited for the all clear to leave, expecting some smart ass remark or even the shrill of the sirens.

What I heard was a frightening screech of tires and a pained yell. The sound of flesh hitting metal is unforgettable and as a black sporty looking car raced on down the road, I knew I had bigger problems.

I now had a dead cop, a comatose pilot and a hidden Gundam to deal with.

I groaned and hit my forehead against the steering wheel with a thump.

I also happened to hit the horn as well.

Dammit.