Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Chimaera ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I don't own the G'boys, I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a whole lot happier, ne?

Rating: NC 17

Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, sap, angst, Male Pregnancy, medical themes

Pairings: 1x2x1

Archive: http://gundam-wing-diaries.150m.com

http://sweetlysour.net.

http://adultfanfiction.net

http://www.theforsakenwk.com

Many thanks to DBZVelena, Ryouga and Yami_Tai for the beta. Also thanks to Yami_Tai for the title of this fic.

Notes: Set partially during the series but main bulk after the war. EW didn't take place. The Eve wars are finished and the peace retained. The pilots have all gone their own ways, Heero and Duo have made a life together both working for Preventer when Duo's world is turned upside down as his unknown past comes back to haunt him.

Dedication: To Velena who gave me the plot bunny for this little gem.

Status: In progress.

~ Indicates flashbacks ~

/ thoughts /

"Chimaera"

October. 2003 ShenLong

Chapter 6

Duo paced up and down the terminal and glanced at the electronic board for the tenth time in the last five minutes. Heero had sent him an e-mail confirming the shuttle number and time of arrival. Now that the moment was imminent Duo was beginning to have second thoughts. What if they couldn't talk? Had Heero changed much? Did Heero really still want him or was it just a facade, something to ease his conscience? Why had he left so suddenly? Why was he asking himself all these questions?

Duo ran his hand through his bangs and took a seat. Another glance at the electronic board told him the shuttle was inbound and due to dock in five minutes. He glanced around at the rest of the assembled crowd. A neatly dressed middle aged woman to the side looked like she was waiting for her husband. A younger woman across from her with two children running wildly around, wore the face of suffering. With kids like that no wonder her husband went away for a while. Duo shuddered as the woman tried yet again to discipline the pair, neither child taking any notice of the idle threats.

Duo pondered the children for a moment. He genuinely loved kids, his own childhood was nothing to write home about, but he'd not really had that much of one really. He stared again at the pair. They were both neatly dressed, not expensive clothing by any means but tidy, they were clean and obviously well fed. Remembering his own lack of childhood Duo had always tried to help out those children he found wandering around the streets, giving them credits or buying them a meal or a warm blanket. He couldn't help all of them though, he would need to have a never ending supply of credits for that and as Hilde pointed out to him, he wasn't exactly rolling in the stuff.

He couldn't help it though. Never having had the caring arms or loving embrace of his own parents he'd sworn when he grew up and became a father his child would never know what it was to be cold, hungry or unloved. He gave a small chuckle with that thought. Not much chance of him ever becoming a father, not with his sexual preference. The sound of the public address system crackling into life jerked his mind back as the arrival of the shuttle was announced. He stood and followed the rest of the crowd towards the doors that the disembarking passengers would shortly step through, once they had cleared customs and quarantine that is.

Ten minutes passed before the first few passengers began to trickle through, soon it became a flood and there were shouts, yells, hugs and tears of joy randomly tossed around as the new arrivals located their families or friends.

Duo stood patiently at the back of the crowd where he could clearly see the people coming through the doors. Each time they swooshed open his pulse would race for a second only to slow in disappointment, as the face he saw, wasn't the one he was looking for.

The crowd thinned as people began to leave, the number of passengers still coming through had dwindled considerably until the doors remained closed. Duo felt his stomach churn in knots and then the anger begin to rise. He should have known better that to trust Yuy. Duo turned his face away, hot angry tears threatening to spill forth. His shoulders slumped in dejection and he began to walk away.

A hand on his arm brought him to a halt before he had moved more than a dozen paces; angrily, he turned around, ready to give whomever it was that dared to touch him a mouthful, when his jaw hit the floor.

"Leaving without me?" Soft brown eyes bored into amethyst as Heero waited patiently for Duo to say something.

"What the fuck took you so long, Yuy?!" Not exactly the best of greetings Duo knew, but at the moment he was having a hard time controlling his emotions and frankly; he was still pissed.

"I... I had to clear special customs."

Duo raised an eyebrow.

"Seems they weren't about to take any chances." Heero dropped his gaze.

Duo snickered inwardly. He could just envision the customs people when they came upon Heero. The surly looks would be enough to make them suspect him, add to that his penchant for carrying fire power with him, and you had the makings of an all out panic in the customs area. "I'm surprised they didn't hold you and keep you for questioning."

"They tried."

"Huh?"

"They couldn't though. They didn't have anything to hold me on."

Duo cocked his head. "What happened?"

"They searched my luggage..." Heero's voice was quiet and he began to turn a rather nice shade of red.

Duo noticed the flush and grinned to himself. He had an idea of what had happened but he wanted to hear it from Heero. "They find anything?"

Heero snorted. "Iie!" he swallowed. "Then they... they searched me."

"Did they?" Duo was finding it hard to keep the amusement out of his voice.

"I've never been so embarrassed in my life. They didn't just search me... they searched me!" Heero was clearly affronted by his humiliation.

Duo couldn't help but laugh, the thought of the customs officer asking Heero to strip so he could search him thoroughly was too much for him and he let go with a deep belly laugh.

"That's it, go ahead and laugh at my expense," Heero scowled. He was really uncomfortable now.

"I'm sorry Heero, but you have to admit that it is rather funny."

Frankly, Heero failed to see the humor in the situation, but at least Duo was talking to him and not yelling at him... yet. Picking up his duffle bag and tossing it over his shoulder he indicated his readiness to leave.

~ * ~

Duo brought the old pick up truck to a groaning halt just inside the entrance to the scrap yard, cutting the engine he climbed out and slammed the door. Heero sat and stared around for a moment. The yard stretched back quite a way and stacked in rows, were piles upon piles of scrap. At first it looked chaotic but when he focused properly, he could see there was an order about the place. Parts were not just piled about randomly, they were organized into sections. To the left of the truck stood what Heero at first thought was a shed but upon closer investigation, it was apparently the office. It was into there that Duo now disappeared.

Heero climbed out of the truck and grabbed his duffle from the back and followed in the direction Duo had gone; before he could get to the office though Duo stepped out, a tight smile on his face.

"I'll take you over to the house so you can freshen up. I'll fix us something to eat as well."

"Duo.... you don't..…"

"Then we talk, Yuy."

So it had gone back to last name basis again. Heero sighed. This was going to be harder than he'd thought. He wasn't looking forward to it but it had to be done, he had to explain himself and see if there was even the remotest possibility of Duo forgiving him and taking him back, to give him a second chance.

Duo unlocked the front door to the small dwelling and let Heero inside. "I'll show you around. It's Hilde's place but she said it was okay for you to stay here if you want."

Heero nodded and followed behind Duo as he showed him the lounge room, office-come-study, dining area and kitchen. "Laundry is out back." Duo tilted his head in the direction of the back door that led out to a small yard. Heero could see a small room attached to the outside of the house.

Duo turned and led the way back through the kitchen and along the short hallway to where the stairs led upwards. He traversed the steps and turned at the top. "Bathroom is there, this is Hilde's room," Duo pointed to the closed door. "Stay out of there unless you have a death wish." He moved further along, "Junk and storage in that one and this is my room." Duo opened the door to reveal a small room with twin beds, a dresser placed between them and a robe against the far wall. A window adorned the other wall and there were a couple of throw rugs on the polished floorboards. "It isn't anything flash or fancy but it's comfortable and enough for me. You can use the bed there," Duo said as he pointed to the one with the light blue comforter on it.

Heero looked at the black comforter on the other bed. Well, there was no way he could mistake which was Duo's bed. "Thank you," he said quietly and deposited his bag on the bed.

"I've cleared some space in the wardrobe and dresser for you and there's spare hangers if you want them. I'll go grab you a towel and leave you to unpack and freshen up." Duo spun on his heel and went to the linen cupboard, returning moments later with the promised towel. "I'll be in the kitchen, come down when you're done." With that, he was gone; leaving Heero to contemplate just how the hell he was going to manage to explain everything he needed to with Duo still so obviously mad at him.

~ * ~

Feeling a little better after taking a quick shower, Heero slipped on a pair of jeans and yanked a T-shirt over his head. Dragging his fingers through his hair he decided that would have to do and went in search of Duo. He found him in the kitchen, where he'd said he would be and no sooner walked in the door than a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches was placed in his hands, along with a glass of orange juice. Heero carried it through to the dining area and sat down, Duo followed him seconds later with his own plate of food.

They sat and ate in silence, neither willing to start a conversation even though it weighed heavily in the air. Once the meal was consumed, Duo cleared away the plates and refilled their glasses. He motioned for Heero to follow him into the lounge and sat down on the couch. Heero cautiously sat at the other end of the couch and eyed Duo warily.

Duo fidgeted for a moment, unsure as to what was going to happen now but knowing it needed to occur in order for them to move on, to see if they could salvage anything. Seeing that Heero wasn't about to volunteer any vocal skills first, he thought he'd better get the ball rolling or they would still be sitting here when Hilde got back. Clearing his throat he turned to look at Heero and spoke, careful to keep his voice low and steady, even if his gut was churning. "What happened, Yuy? Why did you leave me? After making all those promises to me, why did you just up and leave without a word?"

Heero had been expecting anger, rage, shouting and maybe even violence. He was momentarily stunned when Duo's voice came out calm and steady. Taking a deep breath he looked up into Duo's eyes, noting the clash of emotion swirling in those amethyst depths. He could read the pain, the hurt, the confusion, the need to understand, and his heart broke. He was the one responsible for causing this turmoil, this heartache in Duo. He had to put it right. He went to clasp Duo's hand, only to have it withdrawn from his reach. Guess he'd lost that privilege when he'd left. With a shaky breath, he began his tale.

~ * ~

Heero's throat was dry, his lips parched but he was nearly at the end of his ordeal and wasn't about to stop now. Duo had listened intently, never interrupting, just allowing him to speak. He wasn't used to talking this much and eyed the glass of orange juice with hunger. Pausing for a moment he lifted the glass and swallowed the now warmish juice down, feeling it hit the right spot almost immediately and free his throat. Putting the glass back down, he finished his story.

"All I could see was you with Hilde, the way you spoke to her and about her, the way you cared for her. It was as if I didn't exist any more. You were always with her, every time we managed to meet up someone, or something, would step in-between and separate us. Judging by the way you fussed and fawned over her, I thought you wanted to be with her and not me, that you had realized that you didn't like guy's after all but couldn't tell me that. So instead, you were trying to give me the hint that it was Hilde you wanted to be with and not me," Heero took a breath.

"I didn't want to come between you and happiness. After all we had been through in this damn war you deserved to be happy so I did what I thought was right. I left so you wouldn't have any obstacles in your way and you could be free to spend your life with Hilde," Heero finished, unable to say any more for the moment, the lump lodged in his throat preventing him from speaking any further.

Duo sat in silence as he digested what Heero had said. The more he thought about it the clearer the whole tangled mess became. It wasn't just Heero that was at fault here, he was just as much a cause of the mess as Heero was. With a sigh he turned to face Heero, raising his eyes to meet troubled brown and frowned. "Do you think you can lose the eye color, Heero?" It was unnerving to Duo to see Heero with brown eyes and not the rich cobalt he loved so much.

"Fuck! I forgot I was wearing them." Heero dipped his head and slid his finger to his eyes, swiftly removing the dark colored contacts. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and carefully wrapped them up. Blinking back the sudden rush of water to his eyes he turned to face Duo again. "Better?"

Duo gave a small smile. "Much. Thanks." Duo gazed deeply into the blue oceans he never thought he would see again, finding the anguish, pain, humiliation and need for forgiveness swirling inside. "Why the fuck didn't you just ask me about Hilde? I thought you knew she's like a sister to me, god knows, I mentioned her enough during the war. I didn't keep secrets from you, I told you how she helped me out, the things she did, just like Cathy did for Trowa."

"It didn't look like that to me, Duo. The way you fussed over her, always doing things for her, you didn't have time for me. You always brushed me off with one excuse after another, Hilde this or Hilde that.... it was like... well..."

"Like what, Heero?" Duo growled.

"Like you were her lover." There, he'd said it. He'd let the green eyed monster out of the bag and told Duo exactly what he felt.

Duo sat in shock, the full realization of his actions brought home to him for the first time. He took a mental step back and analyzed the situation from an outside perspective and what he saw shocked him further.

Heero sat with his hands clasped tightly in his lap. He was sure he had just wiped all his chances of a reconciliation with those few words. He looked at Duo, waiting for a reaction of some sort, body prepared to defend himself if the need arose, but what he saw on Duo's face froze him in place. The look of bewilderment, followed by a dawning of understanding and then the cloud of self loathing played over the handsome features.

"I... I'm sorry, Heero."

The words were whispered softly and Heero only just caught them. Quickly he moved along the couch until he was sitting next to the slightly comatose man. He took Duo's hand in his and gently stroked his thumb across the back of the warm skin. He avoided eye contact, allowing Duo the privilege of keeping his emotions to himself for the moment, the wound of comprehension still extremely raw. "I'm sorry too, Duo. I should have tried harder to talk to you, to have asked you what was going on."

"No, Heero, you shouldn't apologize, this is all my fault. I never thought what my caring for Hilde must have looked like to you. I should have known it would appear to be something more than what it was. I forgot that you don't know her like I do and that you might have read more into it than the simple caring of a friend."

Heero took the chance to wrap his arms around Duo and draw him close. He'd missed this so much over the past couple of years. His heart warmed to feel Duo's arms hesitantly find their own way around his waist and cling desperately. "I'm so sorry, Duo. If I had just pushed aside my jealousy and simply asked you or one of the other guys about Hilde... If I hadn't been so bull headed..." Heero stopped as he felt Duo shift his position slightly. He turned and came face to face with Duo, those amethyst eyes deepening to purple as Duo's anger rose in them.

"All the 'if onlys', 'maybes' and 'what ifs' aren't going to change anything, Heero. What is done is done and we can't change it no matter how much we want to. Tell me one thing though?"

"Hai?"

"Do you understand now what my relationship with Hilde really is?"

Heero tried to break the eye contact but Duo wouldn't let him. He was held, spellbound, by the depth of emotion he could see in them and had no choice but to answer from deep inside his heart. "Hai, Duo, I do. I should never have doubted you."

"This works both ways, Yuy. I shouldn't have assumed that you would understand that what I feel for Hilde is a totally different kind of caring than what I feel for you. You... you make me whole, complete. You give me meaning, a reason to exist, a desire to continue on and explore the wonder of life. Without you there is no light." Duo felt the splash of water against his skin before his brain registered that Heero was ... crying? "Heero?"

"I..." Heero choked and buried his face into the crook of Duo's neck, holding the American tightly to him as his body shook with two years of hurt, anger and frustration.

Duo held Heero close; his own tears welling as he rubbed Heero's back in smooth comforting circles. He stayed quiet though, deciding it was best for Heero to get this out of his system now. Heaven knew he was going to be pissed afterwards for letting himself lose control and allowing Duo to see this vulnerable side of him.

Gradually the sobs slowed and Heero felt a calm wash over him. It was as if his soul had been cleansed and he was now free to heal. He reached a hand to scrub at his reddened eyes and found a tissue pressed there instead. He took it gratefully and wiped his face as best he could. He darted a look at Duo expecting to see the ridicule on that heart shaped face; what he got was tenderness and concern.

"Feel better now?"

"Hai"

"Do you think we can give this another shot?"

Heero gave a watery smile. "Hai, I'd like to try."

"Promise me though, should anything, and I mean anything, arise ever again that you aren't sure of, you will ask me and not jump to conclusions?"

"I promise."

"I'll tell you now Heero, it's not going to be easy. We have to rebuild the trust and that's going to take time, time for both of us."

"I know but I'm more than willing to try. I... I ... Aishiteru, Duo."

Duo wasn't quite sure what Heero had just said but took it as a good sign. He pulled Heero close and glanced at his lips, asking permission with his eyes. Heero closed his eyes and parted his lips in assent.

Duo swooped in, pressing his mouth firmly against Heero's, tongue gently questing forth and revisiting the long neglected warmth and sweetness. The kiss was long, deep and very much welcomed. When they broke apart Duo snuggled against Heero, content to just enjoy the solitude and savor Heero's warmth. "Thank you for bringing my heart back to me," he whispered.

"Thank you for giving me the chance to do so, and for trusting me with something so precious a second time around."

They sat there in companionable silence, each wondering where their lives would go from here, not that it really mattered. The problem had been mostly resolved. There was still a lot of talking to be done, feelings and emotions to be brought out, but that could wait. For the moment they were content to just hold and be held.

When Hilde came in from the scrap yard a couple of hours later she found them both still curled in each others arms on the couch, fast asleep. She smiled at the scene. Hopefully they had managed to talk things out, judging by their current position she guessed that they had. She wandered through to the kitchen to put the kettle on and make them all a coffee. There would be time soon enough for her to take Heero aside and have her own little *chat* with the Japanese man. For the time being though, she was just happy to see Duo finally looking more contented than he had since Heero had left.

~ oOo ~

tbc.......