Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Chimaera ❯ Chapter 82 ( Chapter 82 )

Please see previous chapters for notes, disclaimers etc.

"Chimaera"

By ShenLong.

Chapter 82

Four ex pilots stared at the fifth, a mixture of emotions on their faces, from shock to disbelief... and one of pain. Wufei calmly strolled over to the bench and placed the spanner back down on it before turning to face his former fellow terrorists.

"How?" began Duo.

"I don't believe you got that evil spawn of Satan installed," stated Quatre and walked over to the car just to be sure that Wufei was telling the truth; Trowa and Duo followed him. Sure enough, situated in the center of the back seat was the baby seat. Straps secured, bolts tightened and looking completely innocent.

"This can't be happening," muttered Trowa. "After all we went through; the pain, the misery, the agony of bruises and near death experiences and he gets it in without any trouble at all." Trowa turned and eyed the black haired man. "You know something, Quat?"

"What, Trowa?" Quatre was still studying the baby seat, trying to figure out exactly how Wufei had managed to get it to submit. He couldn't see any gouges or tell tale marks on the thing so Wufei hadn't attacked it in any way.

"I reckon that our Wufei is really the devil in disguise."

"I swear you're right, Trowa," replied Quatre as he straightened up and also stared at the Chinese man.

"You know, come to think of it, he does look like he's hiding a pair of horns under that hair, maybe that's why he keeps it tied back, to flatten the things or something," snickered Duo. "Hey, he did have a trident for his suit's thermal weapon during the war, if he really is the devil then that would make sense."

"No wonder the seat didn't put up a fight against him then, it knew it was beaten before it started," said Quatre sagely.

"Hmmm... It all makes sense now," said Trowa as he stroked his chin in thought. "With Wufei being the devil himself and the seat the spawn of said devil, of course it's going to do as it's told. It also explains why Wufei and Duo argue so much."

"Huh?" Duo's mind was whirling.

"How do you figure that, Trowa?" asked Quatre.

"Duo always used to wear a priest's outfit, a symbol of the divine side, whilst if Wufei, bearing in mind his trident, is the devil, then the two of them are bound to be at logger heads. It's back to the usual good versus evil thing."

"I suppose you could be right," snickered Quatre. "Certainly does make sense in a warped kind of way."

"What I want to know is if Wufei is the devil and that baby seat is his spawn... Who the hell is the mother? There's obviously something Wuffy's not telling us here." Duo stood with his hands on his hips as he posed the question to the other two.

"That is something I don't even want to think about," shuddered the blonde.

"Probably that old beat up couch he insists on hanging on to," mused Duo.

"Ewww. That is not an image I wish to see, thanks!"

Their conversation was interrupted as Miracle decided to make a return to the garage, looking a little sheepish.

"Miracle!" shouted Duo and walked back across to where the dog was slinking inside. "Come here, you bad girl."

Miracle knew she was in trouble. She couldn't help it if that rich, juicy piece of meat had been left unguarded. It begged for her to eat it and being what she was, a dog, who was she to resist the call? Something in the tone of her master's voice though warned her that he wasn't very pleased with her. She lowered her head, tail tucked between her legs and slunk across the floor towards Heero, who was still sitting on the floor recovering from his ordeal, practically crawling into his lap and turning her soulful brown eyes in full force on him.

"Aaa!" Heero quickly grabbed the pup from off his abused groin and set her to the side of him, his balls were still very sensitive and even the light weight of the pup was enough to set them throbbing again. He looked at the little dog who cowered next to him, pleading with her eyes for him to save her from her master's wrath. "Oh, no, you don't. I'm not protecting you from Duo. You did the crime so now you do the time," he told the pup.

Miracle lowered her gaze in defeat but tried wagging her tail and putting a paw on Heero's leg, just in case.

Duo, meanwhile, had reached the pair and glared down at the pup. "You're a bad dog," he scolded. "Naughty girl to take the piece of steak that was meant for Heero's face."

"And my breakfast," added Trowa.

"Yuk! You mean to say you'd still eat that steak after it had been on Heero's face?" questioned Quatre.

Trowa shrugged. "Waste not, want not."

Miracle crawled a little closer to Heero and placed her head on his thigh, turning her puppy eyes from one master to the other.

Heero could feel his resolve weakening.

"By rights I should make you go without your dinner tonight as punishment..." continued Duo, ignoring the pleading puppy eyes and the conversation from Trowa and Quatre.

The pink tongue came out and gently licked Heero's wrist as the body wriggled closer. A soft whine was added just for good measure.

Heero caved. "Duo! You can't do that," he exclaimed and dropped a hand to gently fondle the pup's ears.

"Huh? Heero, I'm trying to discipline the dog here. She took something that wasn't hers."

"Duo, it's just a piece of steak."

"So? If I don't do something about it she will do it again. Today it's a piece of steak, tomorrow it could be the entire refrigerator!" huffed Duo.

"You're just scared that she will get a taste for Crunchie ice cream and pinch yours," snickered Trowa.

"At least she'd probably have the sense to deactivate the alarm system and not get caught in the act," snapped Duo.

Trowa promptly shut up and wormed his way into the protective arms of his husband.

"Ohhh... That was a bit below the belt," murmured Quatre as he cuddled his husband close. "Don't worry, baby, I'll book us a nice relaxing vacation on a tropical island somewhere, a place where there are no children, pregnant, hormonal women, or men for that matter; and certainly no baby seats."

"Heero, I have to tell her off, she has to know what's acceptable and what isn't, how else is she going to learn?" stated Duo, returning his attention to his lover and the pup.

"All I can say is that I pity your child, Maxwell." Wufei said calmly.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Duo whirled around to face the Chinese man.

"If you can't control the dog how do you expect to control the child?" The opportunity was just too good for Wufei to pass up.

"I'll have you know that this child will have proper manners and know the difference between right and wrong!" Duo was beginning to get very annoyed and upset. Miracle picked up on her master's distress and began to sniff the air a little. Her hackles rose slightly as she detected the reason or rather person, who was upsetting her master.

"I wish Yuy all the best then, he's going to need all the help he can get."

Duo began to splutter, trying to think of a witty comeback but his brain had deserted him. Unfortunately the fetus chose that moment to have a good stretch of its limbs and pushed rather hard against his lungs; and his bladder. "Ow, fuck!" Duo moaned and bent over slightly, grasping his abdomen.

Heero scrambled to his feet with a shout. "Duo?!"

Miracle also shot to her feet, there was something wrong with her master and although she hadn't seen that other person do anything to him, Miracle couldn't be sure that he wasn't the reason for her master's sudden yelp. She raced over and put herself between Duo and Wufei, growling softly at the dark haired man.

Quatre had abandoned his husband and now hovered over Duo. "Are you all right, Duo?"

"Duo? What is it? What's wrong?" asked Heero in concern as he rubbed Duo's back.

Duo groaned. "I'm okay, just the baby wanting to rearrange the internal furniture," he muttered as he began to straighten up.

"I think we should go back up to the house. We could all do with a coffee and rest, it's been an eventful hour," said Trowa calmly.

"That sounds like a good idea," replied Quatre. "You two okay to walk back to the house?" he asked Heero and Duo.

"Yeah, I'm okay," replied Duo. "Sunshine seems to have gone back to sleep for a bit."

"Good, I don't think I could carry you, Duo," came Heero's soft voice. "I'm going to have enough problems walking properly myself."

"Oh, baby. Once we get back to the house you go take a hot shower and then I'll inspect the damage properly for you."

"Oh, pleeease," Wufei rolled his eyes and began to walk out of the garage. "I can't listen to this sap anymore, I'm going back to... Aghh!"

"Wuffie?" Duo called as the four of them shot outside the garage, actually it would have been more of a waddle on Duo's part and a stiff legged shuffle on Heero's.

"Damn fucking dog!" Wufei cursed.

Duo couldn't hold his laughter; he collapsed against Heero, tears coursing down his cheeks. Heero wasn't much better, trying not to snicker too much as it made his groin throb. Trowa was holding the side of his face as he laughed along with Duo. Quatre simply put his hand over his mouth and giggled politely; although loudly.

"Shit!" growled Wufei.

"Yup, I'd say that's what it is, Wu bear," hiccuped Duo.

"Maxwell! This is your fault!" roared Wufei.

"No it isn't, I didn't shit there, I'll have you know I am domesticated as well as house trained."

"Now that's what I call justice," sniggered Heero as he managed to get his snickering under control at last. He watched the Chinese man who was still cursing and wiping his shoes on the lawn, attempting to remove the 'present' he'd stepped in from the leather.

"Miracle, come here, girl," Duo called.

The pup trotted over to her master, pleased that the light tone was back in his voice now.

"Good, girl. Way to go, Miracle," Duo praised the dog and patted her.

Miracle cocked her head. She didn't know what it was she'd done but obviously it was something good.

***

Half an hour later, the five men were sitting comfortably in the lounge room sipping on coffee, except for Wufei who had insisted on green tea. An air of somberness abounded, each man nursing a few wounds, four of them having both physical and ego related ones whilst the fifth was asking himself if his dignity would ever recover. Miracle had been confined to the laundry with her dinner and Wufei's shoes for company.

Heero sat at one end of the couch, Duo half sprawled across the couch and his chest. Quatre sat at the other end, Trowa snuggled against his side whilst Quatre ran his gentle fingers over the bruised cheek and eye. Wufei sat in the arm chair opposite them, his socked feet crossed at the ankle.

"What I want to know," began Quatre, "is how you managed to get that baby seat in when all of us failed?"

"Ah, trade secret," replied Wufei with a smirk.

"C'mon, Wuffie, spill," said Duo and raised an eyebrow.

"You've obviously done that before," stated Trowa. "How else would you know how to tame the evil thing without getting so much as a scratch when the rest of us were nearly decapitated?"

"Or dismembered," added Quatre.

"Or sterilized..."

"Duo!"

"Well, you nearly were, Heero," muttered Duo as he wriggled around to face his lover. "Who knows, you still might be, we haven't checked out the damage properly yet."

"Might be best to get Sally to have a look at him," said Quatre.

"NO!" Three voices all shouted the same answer in unison.

Trowa blinked.

"Huh?" asked Quatre, completely bewildered.

"No one gets to see my lover's balls but me," snapped Duo and placed a protective hand on Heero's thigh. "That's my reason."

"I don't want Sally poking around me down there," stated Heero flatly and then turned to Wufei. "What's your excuse, Chang?"

"Errr...." Wufei began to turn an interesting shade of red.

Duo gave an evil smirk. "Wuffie's sweet on Sally, Wuffie's sweet on Sally," he began to sing.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are toooo..."

"Children, if you please?" interrupted Quatre. "If Wufei's sweet on Sally then it would make sense that he doesn't want her looking at men's balls; well, other than his own, of course."

Wufei began to choke, his tea making a return journey via his nose.

"Here," Quatre handed Wufei a pristine handkerchief which Wufei accepted gratefully and mopped up the mess before blowing his nose on it. "You can keep it," said Quatre flatly before the Chinese man had a chance to offer it back.

"Have you and Sally got a secret love child stashed away somewhere that we don't know about? That would explain how you managed to get that seat to cooperate when the rest of us couldn't. You've definitely installed one before." Trowa's brows knitted together as he voiced his thoughts.

"No, I don't have a secret love child and no, I haven't installed one before. Like I said to Maxwell, it was child's play. All you needed to do was look properly at the damn thing to see where the straps went and secure them," huffed Wufei as he drew what was left of his dignity around him like a cloak.

That cloak, however, was about to be torn to shreds.

"I wish I could remember exactly where I put those instructions," muttered Heero.

"Well, I really think I should be going now," said Wufei, a little hurriedly and placed his tea cup on the coffee table. He began to stand and shove the used handkerchief into his pocket. "I'll have that laundered and returned to you, Winner."

"What was that?" asked Quatre, his attention had been wandering, courtesy of Trowa's hot breath against his neck.

"This," Wufei pulled the handkerchief back out of his pocket. A piece of folded paper fluttered to the ground as well.

Duo spotted the paper and immediately went to pick it up. "You dropped something, Wuffy," he said as he grabbed the paper.

Spotting the paper at the same time as Duo spoke, Wufei made a dive for it, but Duo beat him to it. "That's mine, Maxwell," he growled.

Instantly, Duo was on alert and held the paper just out of Wufei's reach. "Ohhh... What is it, Wuffles? A love note from Sally?" he taunted.

"Maxwell..." Wufei growled. "Hand it over."

"Awww, where's the fun in that? Don't you want to share?"

"No, I don't."

"Come on, 'Fei, just a little peek?" Duo began to unfold the paper.

"Maxwell! Don't you dare..." Wufei froze as Duo unfolded the piece of paper.

Duo's eyes went wide as he read the print. "You lying bastard!"

"What is it, Duo?" asked Heero as he observed his lover's angry expression and the paling of Chang.

"Here!" Duo thrust the paper at Heero and turned back to Chang. "You cheating, lying bastard!"

"Now hold on, Maxwell."

"Don't you go telling me not to get my panties in a twist, not after what you've done!"

"What's he done?" asked Quatre. Whilst both he and Trowa had kept out of this little back and forth slanging match, they wanted to know what the hell the verbal abuse was all about.

"I'll tell you what he's done," snapped Duo, but before he could begin he was interrupted by Heero.

"These are the installation instructions for the baby seat," Heero said flatly.

"Errr... Yes," replied Wufei and swallowed.

"Mind telling me what the fuck they are doing in your possession?"

"Well, you see... I can explain..." Wufei sat down again.

"This ought to be good," snarled Duo as he folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"You had the instructions?" said Quatre, disbelief evident in his tone.

Trowa blinked.

"Actually, if you lot had taken a few moments to properly look at that child's seat you would have found the instructions yourselves."

"Huh?"

Wufei sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear that had escaped the ponytail. "When Yuy got hit in the.... errr, let me rephrase that,"

"Good idea," growled Heero.

"When Yuy was incapacitated and the rest of you were attending to his injuries, I decided to take a closer look at the seat. Whilst I was examining the straps and the possible way to secure them I turned the seat over a little and noticed the edge of a piece of paper sticking out. It was wedged between the plastic housing, strap connection and the upholstery joint of the seat. When I finally managed to pull it free I found it was the instructions on how to fit the seat. The rest as they say, is history."

"Fuck! Now I remember," said Heero. "I had the seat out just after we'd bought it to make sure that everything was there. I had just put the seat back into the box and was about to take the instructions through to put in the filing cabinet when Duo began to have some sort of hissy fit and called for me."

"I beg your pardon?" questioned Duo as he turned to face Heero. "I do not have hissy fits."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't!"

"You do, Duo."

"Do not!"

"You're having one now."

"I am not."

"Then what do you call this then, if it isn't a hissy fit?"

"Hormonal imbalance?"

Heero rolled his eyes. "Getting back to the topic. When Duo began to have his... hormonal episode, I just shoved the instructions back into the box, intending to come back later and put them away properly. I guess with everything else that was going on, I forgot."

"Well, that would explain why we couldn't find the instructions then," said Quatre.

"You mean to say, those instructions were wedged in the seat all this time?" asked Trowa.

"Errr... seems so," replied Heero.

"And we went through all this pain and agony when the instructions were there under our noses all the time?"

"Ummm...."

"Yuy?"

"Yes, Trowa?"

"I'm going to finish what the spanner started."

~ * ~

tbc.........