Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Sweet Lullaby ❯ Day at the Circus ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: As always I do not own Gundam Wing… sadly… but true.

 

A/N: First of all I would like to thank deeply ConquerorAlexander for being my beta (you're the best!) and for not giving up on me and my writing.

 

Okay, now on to business, I'm sorry for taking long to update but I'm busy with classes and homework and so on… I had this chapter done few weeks ago but I thought about holding it until I finished chapter 5, but I couldn't take it anymore and had to post it up to see what you guys think!! So read on and enjoy… XD

 

 

SWEET LULLABY

 

Chapter 4: Day at the Circus

 

 

The ceremony… it took place in L2 colony cluster. Duo entered the Maxwell Church, with Heero by his side and the rest of his friends behind him. The former Deathscythe pilot dropped down on his knees, his hands on the red velvet carpet and tears falling like crystal rain drops from his piercing violet eyes.

 

Quatre shoved his partners aside and made way for himself to Duo's current position. He too knelt down and placed one of his soft hands onto his shoulder. “Duo, are you okay?” he was suddenly alarmed when he got no response from his cheery friend, “please, say something, you're scaring me.”

 

Duo slowly turned his head over to see Quatre in the eyes; he managed to crack a smile. “I'm just… overwhelmed, that's all. I never thought I would be back here.”

 

His long braid dangled from side to side as he pushed himself up, he offered Quatre a hand and pulled him up. He wiped away the watery substance of his cheeks and glanced at his friends, they were the first ones to arrive at the church.

 

“Thank you, for being with me today. I won't be sad right now, the past is the past, and my future, our future has begun. So screw the past, let's live the present and welcome the future!!” Duo said back in his joyous tone.

 

“Well said Duo!” Quatre cheered. The rest nodded and Wufei gave him a smile in contentment.

 

“What kind of language is that in God's holy home?!” An old priest shrieked jokingly as he grabbed Duo's braid.

 

The braided pilot startled by the old man turned around as fast as his reflexes let him. He stared at the old man and quirked an eyebrow when the image of his face was analyzed by his memory. “FATHER BRIAN?!” he screamed in excitement and hugged the old priest.

 

“My boy, I never thought I would see you again…” father Brian spoke softly as he patted Duo's back, “I'm glad that you're okay…and to see that your about to make a life of your own.”

 

“I'm glad to see that you're alive also! I thought the rebels had gotten to ya…”

 

“You know I run and hide but I never die,” the priest slightly modified what he remembered was Duo's famous saying when he first met him, they laughed at the innocently mocked remark. “I'm only sorry that I couldn't do anything…I should've-“

 

The braided boy put a hand over father Brian's shoulder and shook his head, “there was nothing that you could've done, I'm happy that at least you got out safely.”

 

The priest nodded sadly and noticed the boys behind Duo, “you have great friends, they were the ones who found out about me and told me that you were getting married.”

 

Duo looked back at his companions and gave them a sly grin, “so that was the mission you guys were working on…”

 

Quatre shrugged innocently, while Wufei whistled like it wasn't with him, Trowa looked at the windows as if they were more interesting and Heero crossed his arms and smirked. For the first time, Duo hadn't figured out one of Heero's missions and that satisfied the Perfect Soldier.

 

Duo walked a little bit further away from the rest of the boys, he looked at the church it was rebuilt exactly the same, it only seemed new. The burned carpets were replaced, the walls weren't stained with blood and the windows were also new but with the same catholic illustrations it had before.

 

::Evie you outdid yourself this time::

 

He smiled once more and whispered to himself, “father Maxwell, sister Helen, I'm back…Solo, I'll live for us. I promise…”

 

x.x.x

 

As people started entering the church, it was the boy's cue to get into their respectful positions.

 

Duo's heart became a knot as the wedding march began; it was harmonious, with harps and violins, a very soothing melody. The bridesmaids started walking down the aisle, followed by the beautiful bride, his beautiful bride.

 

Her long white dress was breathtaking, her hair was let loose with white roses as a crown and her long veil that made her look like an angel. Duo hadn't realized he had stopped breathing, until what seemed like forever to him, until she reached the altar and smiled at him, he let out the air he was containing and began to breathe once again. Faye looked at her soon to be husband with so much love and whispered the three words he longed to hear over and over. I LOVE YOU.

 

The priest began the ceremony and it was time for Duo to say his vows:

 

“I, Duo Maxwell, choose you Faye June Desiree to be my lawful, wedded wife,” Duo paused and Faye looked at him expectantly, the old priest stared at Duo afraid that it was the only thing he was going to say. The priest was informed that they would make they're own wedding vows but in the midst that the groom didn't seem to have them he flipped a page in the bible. Faye's gaze turned to her bouquet saddened that her fiancé didn't write his vows like he had promised. The shinigami smirked at her reaction, because it was the exactly what he had wanted.

 

“I promise to keep you safe, to dry your tears when you wake up from a bad dream, to be there every waking moment, to annoy you with every waking breath, to love you endlessly until there isn't anything more to love.

 

I will never run away from you', I will never tell you lies, I will never cheat on you and I'll never make you cry.

 

Because like a knife through butter you cut through my life to save me from myself and like the rain in a dry dessert you washed away my fears.

 

I can't promise you forever but I can promise today and tomorrow and as long as this life let's us be. Wherever you go, I will go and where you stay, I will stay. Your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything, but `till death parts you from me, I will love you Faye, always have and always will, so babe there's no one else I'd rather share my life with…”

 

Faye gave him the brightest smile she could have ever given him, with tears on the verge of spilling. She was in love with Duo's words, but loved even more that he remained true to himself, the man she loves.

 

“You thought I'd forgot didn't ya?” he teased. A drop of water suddenly dropped on his forehead, he removed it with his hand and stared at it questioningly. “What the…?”

 

Faye placed a kiss on his forehead where the drop of water had been, “I will always love you Duo, I'm with you…don't give up…”

 

Duo looked at her in a staggered manner. Faye seemed to be moving farther and farther away from him and more drops kept on falling on his face.

 

“What is this? Faye? Guys?” he began to panic as everything began to turn pitch black.

 

X.x.X

 

The braided boy attempted to open his tired eyes, but only to be greeted by the same darkness he had experienced in his flashback, just like his dream. He touched his face and noticed that it was wet, -drop- , the culprit was a leak in the ceiling somewhere.

 

::But what ceiling? Where am I? Am I still at home?::

 

He felt his eyes get drowsy again, “this is definitely not normal… this… is… so… uncool,” and with the last words said he felt into a deep slumber once more.

 

$$-.-.-.-.-.-$$

 

 

A week had passed already, Heero hadn't felt it at all and Mai was getting used to being around her uncle. Little Mai noticed that he wasn't as grouchy as he used to be or as sad, except for the mornings when he'd wake up agitated and with a grim expression on his face. Different nightmares haunted him almost every night and when they didn't, it was when he was too tired to actually dream about anything. That was another reason he worked until he couldn't keep his eyes opened any longer.

 

Heero looked at the time on his silver cell phone and checked the date while he was at it.

 

-It's Monday…it's been over a week- he whispered to himself.

 

The cell phone was returned to its old position and he lay back down on his bed with one hand on his forehead, thinking. The perfect lines of his half naked body were shined upon by the welcoming sun, he relaxed for a while catching the yellow orb's rays from his huge retro like windows.

 

::Today will make it over a week… he did say it might take him less than a week. Maybe… I'm just being paranoid::

 

He decided it was time to get up and the first thing he did was check up on Mai who was still rolled in the cover like a burrito sound asleep. She had been a good girl like she promised on the days he had taken her to work with him. She had grown fond of Deux and he was happy to finally get along with someone.

 

Heero had never really paid much attention to the 8 year old, although the first time he saw him he was astonished by his appearance. He looked so much like his past away friend, so much that when he saw him he couldn't stop staring at him, earning him a warning glare from his mother. A beautiful hazel eyed secretary, she looked in her mid twenties just like Heero, her white skin provoked curiosity and her glossy long red hair gave her a hint of innocence.

 

She soon found out that Heero wasn't a criminal out to get her son. She talked to him here and there since she was Rina Deverou's secretary; Rina sent him the new project ideas with her. Although Heero, as we know, was never the talkative type, so she didn't indulge herself in a long conversation. She did sneak a peek on him once in a while when he wasn't looking; after all he was `easy on the eyes'.

 

 

After taking a long shower the Perfect Soldier got dressed. He wore jeans, a white t-shirt that bought out his muscle lines of his broad chest and a pair of construction yellow ankle boots as casual attire. Mai was up and also dressed. She wore one of her many cute sun dresses which her mother made for her. She used to hate wearing dresses, but after her mother passed away she seemed to be wearing them everyday if she could. That day she decided to wear a white sun dress with beautiful lilies imprinted on it and, like always, her favorite white tennis shoes.

 

As if it were a ritual, she waited for Heero to tie her shoelaces. The violet eyed little girl didn't have to ask, Heero already knew, just one sweet embarrassed look from her is all it took.

 

“Give me your foot…” Heero ordered as he extended his hand and waited for her to place her foot with the untied shoe there.

 

Shyly Mai placed her left foot in Heero's strong yet gentle hand. When he finished with tying her first shoe he repeated the process with the remaining one.

 

He did try to teach Mai how to tie her shoelaces and in fact she had learned, but she still made believed that she couldn't. It wasn't because she was lazy or because she didn't like to, she just enjoyed the attention Heero gave her every time he did tie them and the way that he looked at her after the task was done, she thought that the look was almost the same look her father gave her. That look, that made her feel secure and cared for. It was different from his normal stare and even from his usual glares.

 

He placed her last foot down lightly, “all done.”

 

She smiled and wiggled her feet, “arigatou, uncle Heero-chan!” She stood up and tugged on his leg lightly,” so are we going to see uncle Twowa?” she waited expectantly for his answer.

 

“Unh,” Heero nodded.

 

“YAY!!” Mai cheered and twirled Honey, the bunny around happily.

 

Heero grabbed his jean jacket and Mai's white sweater, colony L7-37892 was known for its climate variation, one day it would be sunny and the next day there would be raining nonstop, this made the colony kind of peaceful since not many people were attracted by that. Heero checked the weather report everyday, especially now with Mai around, it wouldn't be a good thing if she got sick.

 

 

-----------------------------

At the circus……..

-----------------------------

 

“There are a lot of people here!” Mai looked around; there was a full house and people swarming around buying tickets or food.

 

“Hn,” Heero could figured that it was the first day that they were here and being that they're acts had caught a lot of attention, a lot of people wanted to see the famous circus.

 

The ex-gundam pilot paid for both tickets, one half price for Mai and a full price one for him. Even though Trowa's circus had gotten fairly popular the prices remained the same, or at least that's what Heero remembered when Quatre and Duo made him go watch Trowa's act with him.

 

Once inside Heero and little Mai looked for seats, it was hard to see any empty ones since it was full already.

 

“Look over there…” Maisha pointed to two seats in the middle, they would be able to see the show well enough.

 

Maisha's face was lit up in excitement, she loved the circus and most of all she loved her uncle Trowa's act. The ringmaster welcomed everybody and began the introduction for the fun filled afternoon. He announced the animal act first, a tamer came out with two lions, the lions seemed very obedient and followed every instruction the tamer gave them. The audience stared in awe and clapped at the end of every succeeding task the lions made. A clown act followed, Mai giggled at the clowns mischief and Heero appeared to be secretly enjoying it also.

 

After several acts the ringmaster announced the acrobatic act and surprisingly Trowa came on stage with a tall and skinny girl in a matching outfits. The girl had brown straight hair up in a pony-tail and the outfit was different shades of green and shiny, it tightened around her body defining her every curve. The outfit did the same with Trowa it shaped his muscles very well and he looked amazingly rugged and handsome.

 

“IT'S UNCLE TWOWA!!!!” Mai stood up on her chair in excitement.

 

Heero stared at her in pulled her back down, “stay down.”

 

Maisha frowned a little bit at Heero's cold order but then smiled again as she looked to the performer she had longed to see. The former Wing Zero pilot was very attentive to Trowa's every movement, he couldn't quite get to see his facial features well but he could've sworn he saw a curl on his lips. Could it be that he was truly smiling? It didn't seem like one of his sarcastic smiles… it seemed genuine.

 

Suddenly elephants came out, Trowa and the girl began doing they're acrobatic routine on top of the animals. It was astounding, Heero watched the act and remembered the first time he saw it…

 

 

::::Flashback::::

 

“Trowa are you sure you want to do this? It seems dangerous…” Quatre worriedly looked at his best friend ready to mount the big animal.

 

“Calm down Quatre, he knows what he's doing,” Heero reassured his worried comrade, but it wasn't helping.

 

“But what if you fall?! Or even worst what if you fall and he steps on you?! Oh my goodness…” Quatre said wide eyed feeling even more alarmed from his eerie thoughts and his mind playing the whole scenario. He was starting to fill dizzy and ill.

 

Trowa placed a hand over his shoulders friend, “Quatre I'll be okay, I've rehearsed it already, besides I promised good entertainment as a wedding gift didn't I?”

 

“I know… but I didn't expect you to be on top of an elephant doing dangerous acrobatic moves…” Quatre pouted.

 

Heero and Trowa looked at each other amused by their friend usual worried personality.

 

“I'll be okay… I won't fall and I won't let the elephant step on me… okay?” Trowa back flipped expertly on to the elephants back and the big animal didn't seem to mind. The elephant marched straight ahead with Trowa.

 

“So…he's really doing it?” Wufei appeared behind them from out of no where.

 

Quatre jumped at Wufei's sudden emergence, “where… where did you come from?”

 

“Somewhere…” Wufei answered mischievously.

 

“Some where?” Heero asked curiously.

 

“Yes, somewhere preparing my gift,” the Chinese young man stated proudly. Wufei hadn't told a soul on what he was planning on doing. He avoided answering when he was asked. The boys paid no mind to what he was so cautiously trying to hide just as long as it didn't involve katana demonstrations and Duo being the not so helpful assistant.

 

“Wufei what happened to your hand?!” Quatre said, worry evident in his voice. The Chinese ex-pilot tried to hide his right hand and Heero looked at him with a questioningly look. The blonde boy without any warning took Wufei's hand in smooth and soft motion. Wufei shocked that Quatre had actually done that without him noticing it backed away quickly.

 

Heero analyzed his quick reaction and noticed that there was something wrong with him.

 

“I bruised my hand while preparing the gift…” he explained nonchalantly.

 

“What kind of gift is it? I seriously hope is not something dangerous you're planning on doing,” the Winner heir said slightly.

 

“It's not, stop worrying about it, I'm not going to kill the guests,” Wufei responded with an annoyed tone.

 

Quatre gave a last warning like look at his conspicuous friend and turn to leave.

 

“Did he just glare at me?” he asked Heero disgruntled.

 

“Quatre doesn't glare, it's against his nature,” Heero retorted, “what really happened to your hand?”

 

“I told you already I was-“ he stopped abruptly as he saw Heero give him the `don't give me that bullshit' glare, “well Yuy, don't believe me then.”

 

“I don't,” Heero stated bluntly. He decided not to push it any further knowing Wufei like he did, it wasn't like he was going to tell them what happened unless it was absolutely necessary or else it would hurt his male ego.

 

“Aren't you supposed to go make the toast?” Wufei asked with a smirk on his face, knowing that Heero had been working on the toast for over a month and was nervous even though he hid it perfectly.

 

Heero wide eyed searched for the little paper in which he had written what he was going to say, he dug in his pockets yet he could find nothing, “shit”.

 

“Looks like you're pretty screwed.”

 

Heero glared at Wufei who was grinning at his unfortunate mishap. After a while he gave up and decided to join Wufei and the others at the backyard where Trowa's act and `present' was going to be performed. He'd figure out something until it was dinner time where the toasts were going to be done.

 

“Hey where were you man?” Duo asked in his all American accent. Heero shook his head in response. “I thought you were going to miss out on Trowa's present. By the way do you know what it is?”

 

Heero shrugged. Music started playing, Duo and Faye were very excited.

 

“WOAH! Trowa bought me an elephant?!?” Duo cried out.

 

Faye stared at her husband in a loving and amused manner, “honey, I think he's just going to perform something for us on the elephant,” she explained to him sweetly.

 

“Oh…” Duo said with slight of disappointment in his voice. Heero looked at his friend and smirked at the sight of Duo's pouting and Faye giggled finding it very cute.

 

“Why would you want an elephant?” Heero asked casually.

 

“Well… they're funny lookin', plus I would be able to ride him like a horse,” Duo said in an `as a matter of fact' tone.

 

“Why not just buy a horse?” the Perfect Soldier asked the braided pilot.

 

“Because… horses aren't big like elephants… besides I would be able to train the elephant to step on anybody that I say so… like WUFEI!!” Duo retorted and laughed maniacally.

 

Heero raised his left eyebrow as a response to his friend's dimwitted answer, yet he still found it amusing.

 

“Sweetie zip it, one of your best friends is about to perform for you…” Faye hushed her husband down.

 

“Sorry babe…”

 

Everyone's attention was on the Trowa, he seemed to be concentrating when he finally heard nothing and there was only silence, he snapped his fingers and hip trance like music began playing. The expert acrobat began swiftly and smoothly doing gymnastic moves on top of the large animal, he managed to maintain his balance without hurting the elephant. A few seconds later three more elephants were bought and he was skilfully going on top of ever elephant while doing amazing gymnastic and acrobatic moves. Everyone was blown away by the astonishing act and gave him a standing ovation.

 

Quatre stopped covering his eyes once he realized everyone was clapping. Duo whistled and Faye was jumping in excitement. Wufei was actually clapping hard and was grinning at his green eyed friend. It was the best show Trowa had done ever and he did it with great joy and pleasure, so much that he actually smiled.

 

 

::::End Flashback::::

 

The ringmaster announced the end of the show, people started to motion themselves up. He followed the same pattern, grabbing Maisha in his arms and making way for himself and her in the swarm of people.

 

Once outside the huge tent Heero looked at Mai and saw a small frown on her face.

 

“What's wrong?” Heero asked.

 

Maisha looked at her shoes and back at Heero, “do you think that maybe we can say hi to uncle Trowa?”

 

He was taken back by her sudden request, he hadn't seen or talked to him in seven years and was avoiding him most of all. He didn't know how Trowa would react on seeing him again. It took longer for him to think about it when he felt a strong grip on his shoulder as if it were a threat his reflexes reacted and turned around ready to give a blow to whomever it was, but the other person had impressive reflexes also enough to avoid the Perfect soldier's move.

 

“Uncle Trowa!!” Little Mai squealed in happiness and she threw herself around her uncles waist. Trowa without hesitating grabbed Mai and spun her around looking at her very carefully and smiling at her.

 

“Always on guard, I see that you haven't changed much…” Trowa said to Heero with a hint of coldness in his remark.

 

Heero narrowed his eyes, ::he's still angry with me::

 

“I hope that you learned how to move on… that is the reason why you left wasn't it?” Trowa's way of saying it was more of an affirmation than a question.

 

He remained motionless and didn't answer Trowa. :: Move on, how could I move on… has he moved on?::

 

Trowa did seem different, Heero thought, even though his appearance remained the same, same styled hair a bang over one eye, a tad bit taller, his emerald eyes seemed a little bit different. He couldn't figure out what it was, they looked expressive; his face wasn't covered with the mask he used to wear back then, the mask that made him seem so emotionless and inhuman. The one he was meant to wear when he was in a battlefield, almost the same one Heero put on until that day.

 

Mai watched them in confusion, if she had remember correctly on what her father had said, it had been a long time since they had seen each other but neither one of them made a happy gesture. All they did was look and occasionally glare at each other.

 

“What is wrong with you people?! You haven't seen each other in a very long, long time and neither of you said how happy you were to see each other again… do you hate each other?” Mai looked up at them hopeful to get a reaction.

 

Trowa stared at her sympathetically and managed to consider the little girl's innocent observation. Heero felt his heart sink, Mai was right; a little girl had just slapped him in the face, figuratively speaking.

 

“We should talk…” Heero said as he looked straight into Trowa's emerald orbs. Trowa nodded and motioned them to follow him. Mai was happy that they were doing something besides staring at each other.

 

They went to the back part of the circus where all of the animals were and some trailers for the circus people. It was pretty empty only the animals were in they're cages and few workers were there feeding and bathing some of the animals. Mai decided to go watch the animals while her `uncles' talked.

 

“We can talk here, it's less crowded,” Trowa said.

 

Heero hesitated for a while, not knowing how to start, he was the one to propose to talk with him and now he couldn't say anything. It was so hard to find words that were sincere and at the same time words that wouldn't end up hurting either one of them.

 

“What did you mean when you said if I had `learned to move on'?” Heero asked just to break the silence.

 

Trowa thought about it for a minute, he knew the answer, that's all he could think of when Heero had left. All the reasons Heero might've had, Trowa thought of them and all the reasons he had not to leave like he did. He stood silent for a while.

 

::Heero: He hasn't changed much either::

 

But Heero's thoughts were proven wrong when the silent ex-pilot began to answer him.

 

“You left without saying a word… at first I believed that you left out of guilt, but then I started realizing that maybe it wasn't guilt… maybe you just wanted to move on like the rest of us. Quatre always looked for the best in everyone, he showed me that much… he also showed me that life wasn't meant to be wasted and even though I never appreciated my life and the fact that I didn't understand him back then…” he sighed and took a deep breath, “I've come to understand him now and what he meant.”

 

Heero listened carefully to Trowa's every word; there was no doubt in his mind now that he had in fact changed. He never herd him say more than a phrase or sentence and now to hear him say all that.

 

Trowa felt Heero's gaze on him, he could imagine what his thoughts were now on him, he felt slightly vulnerable letting the Perfect soldier see the new side of him, but he knew that Quatre would be proud of him.

 

“Do you still blame yourself?” he asked curiously.

 

“Do you still blame me?” Heero snapped back.

 

Trowa was caught of guard by his come back, he raised an eyebrow as if he were impressed. “Do I still blame you…” he repeated it to himself, “you think I blame you?”

 

Heero narrowed his eyes in a challenging manner and gave a sarcastic snicker, as he touched his left side of his cheekbone near his eye where a diminutive scar was carved but seemed to have faded through time. It didn't show much, but he and Trowa both knew it was there.

 

“Oh, I see… “ Trowa started

 

“You had a right to do it, I'm glad you did.”

 

“No. It wasn't right, not what I did and not what I said. I was… angry… and … it wasn't -“ Heero raised a hand and shook his head to interrupt Trowa.

 

“You don't have to…” Heero half said but Trowa understood.

 

The not so silent Trowa was forced to remember what happened that day, the day that he resented so.

 

 

 

 

:::Flasback:::

 

“Why didn't you go with him?” Trowa Barton almost whispered it, he looked out the big French windows tears threatening to come down his eyes.

 

Heero who was at the verge of breaking down didn't know how to answer, his arm was pressed to the wall and his face was buried in it. He rushed as soon as he received the awful news from the Oriental ex-pilot, he was the only one that was able to keep his composure to call him.

 

“I didn't know…” Heero replied with a hoarse voice. ::How could this happen… why?::

 

There was silence, Heero was never so disturbed with silence like he was now. It was strange being in Quatre's office and not see him there. To think that they would never be able to see him again, it pained Trowa.

 

Trowa held back for a while than he felt his hand turn into a fist and pushed it down the window sill, his eyes finally giving in and tears slowly rolled down his beautiful white cheeks.

 

Heero turned to look at his friend who was looking worse with every minute that passed. Trowa was never the type to let his feelings show, he always knew how to hide them. This was harder on him out of all of them. Duo was alone in his old room given by Quatre when he had offered them to stay; he was there most likely crying. Wufei had disappeared to who knows where, they knew he was grieving also, even though he was a loner he had grown fond of Quatre but he too had different ways of dealing with loss.

 

They all had lost someone special during the war, all of them except Trowa. Trowa never knew his parents; he hadn't felt attached to anyone before. Whether he never accepted it, Quatre, besides Catherine,a made him feel right at home like family.

 

::Trowa: Why did this have to happen? Why him?::

 

Trowa's mind was racing, many memories flashing by, when he was with Quatre, when he felt alone and Quatre would be by his side even though he never thanked him for it or asked him to and the times the blond boy asked all of them to do things together `to bond' he said. He wanted so badly to make them a family, to help them get a normal life, to give them hope.

 

::Trowa: Hope that dies with him::

 

After that thought he felt someone beside him and a hand on his shoulder, he knew who it belonged to and frankly it was the last person who he wanted to see. He looked at his persian blue eyes, he saw them teary and full of fear and remorse, but that didn't stop the silent boy from filling himself up with anger, he was never the one to get caught up in anger in fact he was never driven by any emotion. But this time unconsciously he was being played by the worst of any emotion... pain. He still felt Heero's hand on his shoulder and without thinking about it he smacked it away.

 

Heero was dumbfounded by his reaction but remained in the same position he was before.

 

“This was your fault!!” Trowa snapped.

 

The Perfect Soldier let his head down, forcing his tears back and as he did so he could feel anger build up also. He was feeding on Trowa's words, it was his fault, it was all he could think of, and his friend just said it, it was his fault.

 

“How could you ignore him!?” he screamed at first and whispered the last question, “how could…you….”

 

Heero was about to break, he gritted his teeth, “I didn't ignore him, how could've I known this was going to happen?”

 

“He told you! He asked you to go with him! YOU!” Trowa pushed Heero from his side making him almost lose his balance.

 

“So is that it? You're mad because he asked me and not you!” Heero snapped also and smacked a hand on the wall disrupting Trowa's path.

 

Trowa glared at him, “what?! How… why on earth would I be mad because…”

 

“You're angry because he asked me to go with him to wherever he was planning on going to…”

 

“Fuck you HEERO! You selfish, egocentric son of bitch! Yes! He asked you, and I don't hate you because he did ask you to accompany him… I hate you because YOU DIDN'T!!” Trowa's fist smashed the same wall where Heero had his hand but didn't come close to it.

 

“I couldn't go with him! He knew, I had to go protect-“

 

“Right… you had to go protect Relena, is she always going to be your excuse?” he hissed, “are you ever going to leave her aside for your friends, that's if you even consider any of us your friends… I know Quatre considered you his friend! He trusted you… Perfect Soldier…” there was tone of mockery in the last expression and a sarcastic huff.

 

Heero closed his eyes and tried to hold back, he didn't want to make things worst. Trowa ran his hand through his hair, he was losing his edge and Heero noticed.

 

“What's the matter Yuy? We all know you're not the silent one here…” and again that tone, he was pushing him.

 

“Shut up Nanashi!”

 

It had been a long time that he hadn't been called that, Trowa gave him an ironic chuckle, “Nanashi… is funny you should be the one saying that, when your real name isn't Heero Yuy…”

 

“What are you trying to do Trowa? What the hell do you want from me?” Heero asked in his monotone self.

 

“I want … I want … him to be alive… ” he took deep breaths between every word, “you… should've… gone with him… he knew something was going to happen, he felt it, he trusted you and he told you…”

 

“Damn it you were listening! If you knew… why the fuck didn't you go with him?!” as Heero said that, Trowa's eyes widened in shock, “your so busy blaming me for it, what about you?”

 

Heero couldn't believe that Trowa had listened to Quatre and him, ::Heero: Why didn't you say something?::

 

“What about me? What was I supposed to do… he didn't ask me to go… he asked you…”

 

“And you're talking to me about excuses… was he supposed to say everything to you just because you didn't feel like talking! Why didn't you offer to go with him?! That's right your pride is always getting the best out of the Nanashi… always hiding behind your frail mask pretending to be a clown, when you don't feel any emotions at all. You never said anything to Quatre, he was the one that followed you around when you needed something. Now you want to pin your damn mistakes on me!?” Heero screamed at him and pushed Trowa to the wall not so harshly.

 

Trowa let his head down, it was until he felt Heero push him that he couldn't resist, everything Heero said was true but wasn't about to admit it. And like Heero wanted and expected Trowa gritted his teeth and looked at him with hate and despair, from out of nowhere Trowa pulled back his arm and swung a punch into Heero's face. Heero fell back from the hard blow, Trowa dropped down and rested his back on the wall. He felt his anger die down and his guilt rise.

 

Heero crawled and sat next to Trowa, he covered his own face which stung badly, but he didn't care about that right then. He looked at his friend with his good eye and felt bad for him, everything that had been said was said in anger but never the less most of it was true.

 

“Do you feel better?” Heero asked. He knew that's what he needed, to get the rage out, for Trowa's sake. But at the same time Heero got of his out too. Trowa nodded with a hint of shame in his motions.

 

Heero stood by Trowa's side and tired from the fight they began to lean on each others side. Trowa's mask was finally broken even in this awful situation he had learned that he did care, that it was alright to cry and to be angry. But Heero on the other hand was soon to become even more emotionless, he wasn't about to break his mask… not after this, not now, not ever…

 

:::End Flashback:::

 

to be continued…

 

 

Xx.X.x.X.x.X.xX

 

 

Some bits and pieces of the past… more will be revealed in upcoming chapters, this is just a glimpse of the DRAMA that is yet to come. I hoped you enjoyed it and that you understood the reasons for the OOC'ness … if not … gomen. Reviews are greatly appreciated!!! 

 

I would like to give special thanks to:

 

Hikaru Itsuko your words meant a lot to me specially since I'm not writing a yaoi fic you're still liking it! Thank you soo much for the review! I hope the rest of the chapters keep on captivating your attention as to make up for the lackness of yaoi! Thank you so much again!

 

CrimsonSin thank you very much for the review!! It also meant a lot to me! Your enthusiasm gives me hope and gets me thrilled to write more. I hope this chapter is also to your liking!

 

THANKS TO YOU ONCE MORE YOU GUYS ROCK!!

Maisha: Yeah you do! YAY!!

Duo: Keep on reviewing that way maybe she'll get of her lazy behind and write some more…

Hey I'm not lazy!

Heero: Yes you are…

Trowa: They have a point…

Who's side are you on anyway?

Trowa: Mine

-.- lord give me patience…

 

Ja-Ne