Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Temporary Insanity ❯ The Mystery Of The Poeny Shirts ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter Two: The Mystery of the Peony Shirts

 

It's been five days since we've arrived on base in L4 and already I have had to stop six attempts on Duo Maxwell's life. At the rate he's going, I'm doubtful if he's even going to survive the week.

Of course he doesn't know I've stopped two because they were my own.

It seems that someone has to be on his side, lest we all end up killing the L2 pilot in a fit of murderous rage. It didn't help that Duo spent his first day on the base calling Allah `Allie'- especially when forty-one of its forty-two occupants are Muslim.

It got worse when Rashid found out the braided pilot had used his hair oil to fix the squeaky hanger door hinges. The leader of the Maganucs is a very big man- just as one would assume, trying to stop him from hurting someone is not an easy task.

However I had succeeded, if only because I look harmless and have a sweet smile.

And I'd used up my life debt from Rashid on that crazed violet-eyed prankster.

Ladies and gentleman, Duo Maxwell is a sneaky, cunning, determined, conniving, slippery little prankster- from coloring Abdul's sunglasses in with permanent marker to cutting up all our socks and sewing the two tops together.

That is probably why I knew exactly who had taken all of my peony-colored shirts today.

…….yes, peony, not pink. It's even on the tag if you wish to check.

Had I been any other person, it wouldn't have been THAT big of a problem. I could have simply put on another color shirt.

Unfortunately, I am me and certain colors simply do not work with my skin tone.

White dirties far too easily in the heat and working on Gundams is never good for your clothing. I had maybe four white dress shirts on hand for any problem that may arise- in another base that is.

Black, grey, dark blues, greens and purples are out as well. They conduct heat like nothing I've ever seen and I'd look even more harmless than I already do if I passed out from heat stroke.

Reds turn me into a gigantic lobster, yellows make me look like I've suddenly developed a bad case of jaundice and orange clashes horribly with my hair.

Really, what other colors did that leave me?

Besides, my ensemble looks very nice with my khaki dress pants and violet vest.

Which was exactly what I was stuck wearing as I stomped down the hallways of the base, looking for that braided menace.

It is a time honored tradition, upheld by meteorologists and society alike, to name each and every hurricane that develops during those lazy, hot days of summer. A millennium of names had already been used- from A to Z alternating sexes, even re-issuing names that started with unique lettered names.

Q was one of them and I was pretty sure that the name Hurricane Quatre had yet to be used.

Until today.

Today I was Hurricane Quatre. Gr.

I had worked up a decent amount of anger by simply finding my shirts to be missing. Stalking down the halls with just my vest barely covering my stomach and chest didn't help matters. Most Maganucs turned tail and ran when they saw me rumbling down the hall- very few braved my terse “Where's Maxwell?” before scattering like bugs.

Only Rashid tried to keep up with me.

“No one has seen him since late last night, Master Quatre.”

The big man hesitated, glancing at my lack of shirt. He kept his silence but curiosity all but rolled off of him in waves.

I growled. “He took my shirts.”

“Ah.” Was all the response I received. “Why?”

As if I knew. “We shall see, Rashid. We shall see.”

The mess hall was occupied by a few of the lay-a-beds under Rashid's command. No braided teenage terrorists to be found. The same could be said for the kitchens, Rec Room, Vid Room, Computer Room and every other nook and cranny of the base.

Even the hanger was void of Duo's presence- which was odd because it was where we spent most of our time.

A frightening thought hit me then- had the L2 pilot gone outside alone? While this was a colony we were on, it had been made to feel exactly like the Eastern deserts on Earth- all heat and oddly enough tanning lights. There were even vultures waiting for some unsuspecting person to try and battle the elements and fall prey to the heat.

My usually calm, cool and collected mind went to pieces as visions of chibi-Duo's were viciously pecked at and nibbled on by demonic looking birds.

My common sense seemed to have vanished along with it, considering I spent the next hour wandering around outside the base, looking for any sign of my wayward friend.

My shoulders were tight with worry and anger as I stormed down the halls again. I know Duo can run and hide but this was ridiculous! What if we had a mission? What if the base were attacked? What if I got a chill from running around without a shirt?

The possibilities were endless.

Having spent all morning trying to find my prey- I mean friend, no one could blame me for being caught off-guard when I turned a sharp corner and slammed right into him.

This embarrassingly frightened `Gah!' sound left my mouth as we literally bounced of each other. Duo made a squawking noise of some sort before regaining his balance quickly.

I nearly fell on my ass.

That horrible little mental film I'd had on repeat in my mind- the one of tiny Duos getting eaten by the descendants of the beasts in Alfred Hitchcock's Birds- suddenly morphed into one of a rather evil looking version of myself dunking screaming chibi-Duos in hot oil.

“Duo!” I growled, hoping I looked at least a bit threatening. “Where have you been?!”

He blinked at me. “I was in the storage room. You guys have this big-ass tub of black polish! It was a perfect match with my buddy's paint color as well.”

There was the barest of pauses. “Hey Q, you don't look so happy.”

Violet eyes widened as they finally took in the rest of my appearance. I was expecting exclamations of horror or shock or maybe even sorrow.

I wasn't expecting Duo to start laughing his ass off.

….yes I did say ass again. Deal with it.

I shifted my weight to the right, hands on my hips and a glare on my face.

“Just what is so funny about my appearance?” I demanded testily.

Duo gasped for breath as he pointed in my general direction. “Y-you're sunburned red. Really, really red.”

I felt a flush trying to seem into my already red- at least according to Duo- cheeks as I tried to glare fiercer. Come to think of it that tightness on back and shoulders hadn't left since finding Duo……

“I was outside looking for you! I thought you might have ventured out alone.” I certainly wasn't going to tell him about my terrifying visions of little Duos getting eaten by devil-birds.

“So you went out in this heat, just to find me, without a shirt on?”

His tone was what set me off, well that and his words.

“You bloody well took all my shirts!” I protested loudly, watching as that little smirk I've grown to grudgingly like faded into an incredulous gapping expression.

“You're rich though! You probably have tons of clothes stashed somewhere.”

I rolled my eyes. “You cleaned out my drawers, Duo. Wouldn't any extra clothing I had been in them?” I was going to ignore the part about being rich.

A very guilty expression crossed Duo's face as emotions rolled off him in waves. Guilt, sorrow, worry and something warm. His dark eyes scanned over my shoulders and chest intently.

“And that sunburn looks bad…..damn, I'm sorry Q.”

Why was it impossible to stay mad at him? That's probably what saves his hide every time Duo decides bait Wufei. Or tell dirty jokes to Heero. Or hide Trowa's clown pants.

I scratched my nose wearily, wincing at the dull throb my burnt skin produced. “What in the world did you need all those shirts for Duo? Can I at least have two back?”

I felt a ball of dread twist itself into existence in my stomach as the feeling of guilt grew. Duo looked distinctly nervous.

“Well, heh, Quatre-buddy…” I glared silently and he fidgeted. “….you remember that tub of polish I mentioned discovering?”

I swallowed, feeling faint. “Please tell me you didn't.”

He winced. “That would be lying man.”

“All of them?” There had been nearly fourteen shirts!

A swell of pride drifted between us as I watched Duo straighten.

“Hey, Deathscythe's a freaking big Gundam!”

That was really quite nice and dandy and I was positive I would be thankful for Deathscythe's size in the future, but at that moment, I was only concerned with one thing.

“Duo, what am I going to wear?!”

My achy skin actually tingled pleasantly as I watched my braided friend skim over my body. It wasn't bloody fair- I could sense emotions, why couldn't I project them? I would have been projecting some heavy feelings of lust right about now.

Ha, projecting…..ejecting…..ejac-

“- you should fit.”

My brain seemed to cut in and freeze up at the same time. What! What had I missed?!

“Excuse me?”

Duo shot me a look that clearly questioned my intelligence.

“I said me and you are about the same size- you should fit into a few shirts of mine.”

Oh. I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed- for a moment there I could have sworn….

Never mind. I had already established the fact that I was a tad more dirty-minded than the average teenager-which was an alarmingly amazing feat. My mind could take Duo reading out the phonebook and turn it into a sexual innuendo.

…perhaps I was a little sexually frustrated- but who isn't?

A hand grabbing my arm- my badly sun burnt arm- was enough to startle me out of my thoughts.

It was enough to make me shriek as well.

Duo jerked his hand back quickly, a flush staining his cheeks.

“Sorry! Jeez I totally forgot. Man, that was stupid of me.”

That rebellious little voice in my head wanted to glare and say “No shit!”

I quelled it with a mental smack in the head and simply smiled weakly.

“Do you have something that isn't black or red, perhaps?”

A frown crossed duo's lips as he nodded slowly. “I think I have a few grey shirts in one of my duffles. Ouch, that burn looks really bad. We need the First Aid Kit before getting you into anything.”

What about getting me out of something?

I bit back a surprised squeal as two blunt fingers hooked into the waist band of my pant and began to drag me down the hall. Breathe Quatre, breathe. My god but I was seconds away from proving the theory of spontaneous human combustion.

I knew I was somewhat deranged when I realized I was thankful that my sunburn had hid my blush by the time we arrived at Duo's room.

I tried to hide my complete and utter mortification as he unlocked the door quickly and ushered me in.

“Just park it there for a moment. I've got some of that green goopey stuff for sunburns somewhere….”

I sat gingerly, not really sure why in the world my heart was beating so fast. Maybe I was having a heart attack? Heart palpitations? Heart murmur?

Denial thy name is Quatre.

…….that's actually pretty funny considering I'm Arabian and Denial, you know- that river in Egypt.

Okay it's a bit lame too. I'm just nervous; when I get nervous I say stupid things and break objects.

“Here we go!”

Duo's sudden appearance made me twitch violently. Well, if I hadn't had a heart condition before today, I certainly had one now. I blinked at the half-used bottom of aloe lotion in his hands.

“Burn much?” I asked slyly, taking the bottle and squirting a small glob into the palm of my hand. Ah, cold!

Duo smirked at me. “Maybe a bit…..but this stuff does make great lubricant.”

My hand muscles involuntarily twitched, squirting out over half of the lotion onto my chest, stomach and even Duo's bedspread.

Like that mattered with my brain having short-circuited.

Duo. Lotion. Lubricant. As if the over-active, low-budget porn film that made up my imagination needed anymore material to work with.

Duo had cracked up at my expression, laughing hard and clutching his stomach. I tried to rub the green lotion in on my skin and not imagine Duo rubbing it anywhere else.

Sadly, all that concentration meant I was done all the spots I could reach in record time.

I growled softly, trying to reach that one spot- the one right into the middle of your back that you just can't reach no matter how flexible you are. Even Trowa has to use a door jam to scratch that one spot and I've seen him fit into a duffle bag.

Duo finally seemed to take pity on me snorting at my inability to bend backwards.

“Give me that before you pull a muscle. Take off the damn vest and lie on the bed.”

I had it off and was lying contently on my stomach before those words actually processed in my brain- it had short-circuited early, remember? Ladies and gentlemen it is official- the colonies only hope rests in the hands of five extremely hormonal teenage boys.

A burst of surprised from Duo kept my mind off the fact that his hands were touching my bare skin. I grunted in question and he paused fearfully.

“What- was I being too rough? You burned right through your vest….”

I shook my head as much as I could. “No you're surprised about something just now. What was it?”

A breathe of embarrassment and shame washed over me gently as those warm hands went back to work in my abused skin. Duo cleared his throat softly.

“I was just a bit….surprised to find so much muscle under here. Those pink shirts sure did hide a lot.”

I held back the urge to say `peony not pink!' as my eyelids grew heavy.

“They're meant to. No one ever expects the little blond boy in the dress shirt to a terrorist. Most think I can barely lift my own weight.”

My breathing started to even out, as I felt a tickle down by my waist. Fingers. Traced the edge of my pants lightly.

“I'll never make that mistake again.” Duo's voice was breathy and not quite even as he spoke and in the back of my mind I registered a…spike of something from him. Lust?!

Obviously my cognitive powers had been affected by the heat- maybe a nap would help. It was getting close to the hottest time of the day, when most people in the desert took a brief sleep in the first place.

Yes, sleep sounded like a wonderful idea, perfect for helping me get rid of the crazy notion that Duo Maxwell was lusting after me.

With my friend's strong fingers working gentle circles on my back I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.