Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Verses From Your Song ❯ Siuil A Ruin ( Chapter 7 )

As Relena approached the car her brother placed a comforting arm on her shoulder and if she could...She would have thrown it off. There was little left of her it seemed. There was little left to do and she was happy that the next day would mark her retirement from political life. Still her deceased father's ghost seemed to constantly call for her to continue his work. Her light eyes shut half a moment opening as her brother stepped away from her.

"Where did those roses come from", his husky voice breezed.

She looked over her shoulder and sighed sadly. Next to the lilies she had planted was a large bouquet of blood red roses, there appeared to be about two dozen. Her pride all swallowed she turned her attention back to the tall man with the overly long platinum blonde hair.

"Une", she choked.

Zechs quirked an eyebrow unsure of what to say.

"She's sent them every year since he died"; she tried to sound nonchalant.

He still looked confused by the gesture.

An irritated sigh left her and she continued; "To show respect for the fallen was always her excuse."

That explanation seemed no better but there was more.

"And because I shot her...Or rather, I shot at her. Clipped a blood red rose form her lapel in a childish attempt at revenge."

"Hmph."

"My lesson", Relena stated, "My reminder." Her focus seemed to lose its way. Another heavy sigh and she finished, "I think it is good thing to be reminded sometimes, don't you?"

Zechs stepped closer to her, wanting to embrace her, but knowing she'd pull away. Such a fragile child he wondered why he'd never seen it before. Perhaps it was something she hid so not to look weak, and then again, perhaps it was it was the mistake he made trying to resurrect his father's fallen kingdom. He nodded and then went around small car to open the door.

I'll sell my rock; I'll sell my reel
I'll sell my only spinning wheel
To buy my love a sword of steel
Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan

The ride home was long and tedious. It always was, but a quarter of the way there Relena's brother asked her a question that took her off guard.

"Were you in love with her?"

"What", she couldn't believe he asked. He never dared to go into the details of her personal life as she never dared go into his.

"Une...the flowers", he stated. "It seems very intimate."

She looked to the side of the road as she spoke averting his slight gaze, not needing the guilt, "She sent the flowers way before...And she sends them now only because of that."

"I see."

She looked at him sharply. "You see? You see?" She was getting angry; it was another emotion he'd not seen in her for the longest time. "You see nothing, because if you saw anything you wouldn't be here."

He pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned off the engine sharply. His icy gaze stealing into her, almost making her fear, but no...He'd never...Would he?

"What I see sister", Zechs whispered trying not hiss. "Is that she had an affect on you that you do not like. And maybe one day you'll appreciate it...but for now", he paused gritting his teeth, angry at his own anger. "For now there are but two names that fill you with grief and only because they both had to let you go. And I'm here because you asked me to be."

She looked sour. "It's all well and good brother...all well and good. But I asked because you said you needed escape...Why are you running from her? Why are you blinding yourself to happiness? You said yourself she never wanted to leave your side. She waits for you, runs to you, fights for you, rescues you and you do nothing but leave and why, because you're afraid?"

Silence swallowed them whole. It always did, but it was all they ever had. Try as they might they just could not be close to each other. They could not support as each other as siblings should support, and it wasn't that they did not try. They tried more than most cared to. It was simply painful to see in each other all their faults amplified. Zechs more so because the mistake she saw his sister make in her sheltered love life were just smaller modifiers of his own failures.

"I'm sorry Relena", he muttered.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry I pulled you from your spot and made you something you didn't know how to be."

"It isn't your fault", she whispered back. "I'd have ended up there any way. Seems impossible but people other than you had plans for me." She looked down at her hands and confessed, "I didn't love them."

"Who?"

"Dorothy...Une...I didn't love them. I went to them because I thought maybe they'd destroy me, but destruction was never to be had...I'll never know why they even dared", she replied in something bordering on a whisper.

He huffed and smirked slightly, "I love her...I do but she...I'm not sure why she loves me. I've put her on hold forever. Kept things from her and ran away to be sure...And then things got complicated."

He started the car again and the rest of the drive was lost in a kind of comforting quiet Relena didn't want to trust. But she had no choice, and so she let things fall where they may. In a day she could forget what duty was and learn all the things she'd forgotten. Learn to live instead of living to die.

Siuil, siuil, siuil a ruin
Siuil go sochair agus siuil go chiuin
Siuil go doras agus ealaigh liorn
Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan

The knock on her office door took her by surprise. Violet eyes meeting blue in a moment like want or sorrow. The woman leaning in the doorway looked so weary and lost, but she stayed there waiting to say something or maybe hear something.

"You're back?" Noin whispered.

"Yes."

"He's gone"; she sighed and opened her desk drawer. She riffled through it for a moment and then tossed something to the woman in the doorway. "The engagement's off."

Sally caught the trinket easily and looked at it sadly. She sighed, "I'm sorry Luca."

"Don't be" she replied and ran her hands through her short dark hair. "I did it to myself and now I have nothing."

The woman in the doorway couldn't reply to that. She sniffed and began to walk out the door.

I'll dye my petticoats; I'll dye them red
And around the world I'll beg my bread
Until my parents would wish me dead
Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan

As Sally swiftly moved through the hallway she did her best to choke back her tears. Tried in vain to keep them from drowning her but she could not. She rushed into her office and slammed the door. Sank back against it and began to sob. She wanted to be strong. Wanted to know deep inside that if those violet eyes begged her, she'd refuse them. Wanted to engrave it in her skin, that no never again, never again would she fall. But it was all in vain, because even the time away was useless. All she could think of were tan arms holding her close and soft kisses down her neck and it wasn't fair...It wasn't right.

One heart break should not affect her so. One loss should not tear her into so many pieces. And she didn't want it anymore, the love she had. She didn't want it because it just kept eating her alive. There was a small rap on the door, and she stood wiping her tears away, doing her best to look the part of a soldier. And as she nearly expected, hoped, dreamed...Noin was on the other side tears staining her face.

Siuil, siuil, siuil a ruin
Siuil go sochair agus siuil go chiuin
Siuil go doras agus ealaigh liorn
Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan

"Sally I-"

Lucrezia Noin's explanations were cut from her as aching lips took hers, perhaps in desperation, perhaps in meant affection, but it was nearly harsh. She was pulled further into the room; the door shutting with a thud as she was pressed up against it and when the agonizing event pulled to an end she still found herself trapped under the weight the woman. Her lungs pleading for breath as her lips burned for continued contact. Searing light blue eyes captured her.

"I can say never again Luca", Sally whispered closely. "I can let you go, forget your face and every damned emotion you made me feel but I need to know... again...and for sure, and not because you felt guilted into doing so. If he were here in this room standing right next to me, to whom would you run? Who would you embrace? And it isn't fair for me to ask you this way...It isn't but I can't keep this up anymore. I can't pretend to be satisfied if you are not."

But now my love has gone to France
To try his fortune to advance
If he ere comes back, `tis but a chance
Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan

Noin didn't know. She honestly did not know if she could choose. It was too hot a choice, too difficult a task. The man who was everything to her or the woman that knew her so well she never had to even speak, that was the choice. The one who left and returned or the one who was always ready to try again, that was the choice, her first love or her second, again the choice. Once before she had made the decision and everything in her world blew to pieces. Everything had become complicated with more hearts cracking under the choice that she had made. She couldn't keep it up. What good would making another choice be? What good if it just led to the same tired drama? And an old song she had heard when she was in school suddenly haunted her. She mouthed a line and then pushed Sally away from her.

"No", she whispered.

"No what?"

"No I'm not going to choose." She slid her fingers around the doorknob and opened the door. "You know I think Wufei was right about one thing...He said my weaknesses are infectious. So no, I'm not going to choose."

And then she left. It would be a month before Sally understood what Noin was up to. Then late one evening as she was getting ready to leave she saw a small envelope tucked into her coat pocket. And as she read the lines she understood what she had to do. Understood the `no' and why it had to be said.

Siuil, siuil, siuil a ruin
Siuil go sochair agus siuil go chiuin
Siuil go doras agus ealaigh liorn
Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan

His icy gray-blue eyes flittered over the ancient language in awe. Zechs wasn't sure he knew what to make of it. He took it into the library and began the slow process of translation. He knew who it was from, recognized the penmanship upon sight. And when the last words where finally discovered he sat back into his chair with a sad sigh because he still wasn't sure. But he knew he would have to make the decision, and make it quickly.

Come, come, come, O love
Quickly come to me, softly move;
Come to the door and away we'll flee,
And safe for aye may my darling be

The book dropped from Lucrezia Noin's hand as the doorbell rang. She wasn't sure she wanted to answer it but then...She knew she would have to. She knew it all came down to this moment and while not everything would be fixed, she would know...Know what her heart wanted. She could be certain. She pulled the door towards her, a smile on her face when she saw who it was. Took the person into a kiss as her guest muttered, "Is go dte tu mo mhuirnin slan."

Continued…