Hamtaro Fan Fiction ❯ HamHam High School ❯ Freshman Jitters ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The Ham-Hams go to high school.

Ok this is a bit of a sequel to much ado about school. This is one of my favorite episodes. The ham-hams are no longer in grade school (which that episode was about I think) now its time for high school. And the ham hams will never be the same. Rated PG-13 for sex, drugs, language, violence, stupidity, and bad humor about how high school sucks. The plot is this; it starts the first day of high school with fresh-hams. And works it way slowly through graduation. (If I continue past the first chapter that is....) Be warned nothing is sacred in this story, I will be going after the jocks, Goths, freaks, nerds, and "valley girl blondes" equally. I am still debating if I should add some events that really happened during the past 10 years to move the plot along..(I was thinking an attempted school shooting, or something like that, but I am not sure if I want to get involved into that or not)Since this is my first fic ever, and I am more familiar with RPGS then fan fic I will probably be using :::faints::: notation for most actions by everyone or any scene changes etc. so don't get too confused. hopefully I will learn what fan fiction is really about until then, be warned I don't own hamtaro, I don't own anything except my computer, a jar of jelly, and my DVD player. so sue someone else.


Prolog: The couples will be Maxwell and sandy and cappy and Penelope for ALL of the story, hamtaro and bijou (for some) boss and bijou(for some as well) and the rest I will figure out along the way.


Freshman Jitters.

:: Its the first day of high school, and all your favorite ham hams are walking in the front door of their new high school. :::

"Wow, this is like different girls then our old school in the club house" Sandy muttered.
"Ze is true" a familiar hamster called out "Its like so big, and so many other hams are here walking around talking to all of their friends.... at least we have each other girls...... " bijou turned around " GIRLS?! Where did you go?!? hello?!" She quickly turned around and saw all the boys were playing hackisack on the front lawn. and the rest of the girls were gathered around watching them with starry eyes.

"Oh look at maxi (author comment: maxi?! what is he a friggin tampon!) he is so cute when exercises, too bad all that brains and he has athletic skills whatsoever" the other girls started to giggle at sandy. "Well girlfriends its true so :::blows a raspberry in their direction:::"

While this was going on a red sports car pulls up, with the bass loud as anything, you could actually feel the cement shaking under the sidewalk, that is how loud it was. The song was going like this....

"I like big butts, I can not lie, you other brothers can not lie...but that butt you got make me so horny....."

Then out walks a somewhat familiar Ham Ham, but is dressed way differently, with a backwards cap a pair of dark sunglasses and he wasn't talking the same as last year.

Word Up Hommies, wazzzzz uuuuuupppppp? I just got myself a set of wheels, and a killer sound system in there. cost be a fortune in chestnuts 54,000 chestnuts but its a total chick mobile, like look at it..........." ::he suddenly notices the girl hams from his grade school there::: "Well hello ladies you are some fine looking hams today, especially you gorgeous :::he pulls out a picture of himself, signed and tries to give it to pepper::: (I wonder who is the motor head, and person who can never listen to their radio at a reasonable level)

"Fuck off asshole, Or I swear I'll fucking grab you by your balls, rip them off and shove them up your fucking ass, I aren't no fucking whore like your other girls hams, I am Pepper super bitch of them all, and if you got a problem with that, see me after school and I guarantee you will be singing those songs 3 notes higher with my black high heel shoe up your ass" (Gee can anyone guess that pepper might be a pissy Goth?)

::Stan looked down at his manhood for a second, started to shiver when he thought about what she said, and quickly jumped into his open convertible and drove around to the side of the building to ad void her:::

:::Attention all fresh-hams, the orientation will begin in 5 minutes, so GET MOVING NOW!!!!!!::: a loudspeaker sudden cried out


Bijou, Hamtaro, Boss, Pepper, Stan, Maxwell and Sandy all started to walk to the auditorium in the middle of the school, halfway between north side and south side of the school. (Anyone who knows me knows which high school I am describing)

"Please have a seat everyone, please sit down......" Elder ham said." I will be your new principal and we have to go over a few things before the school year begins"
"Oh great a boring lecture" Stan whispered to boss who giggled
"Come up here now STANLEY" Elder ham asked
"Heke?"
"Mr. Stanley" ::suddenly elder ham grabs Stan's glasses right off his face, drops them on the stage floor, and proceeds to step on and destroy them:::
"NO SUNGLASSES IN THE BUILDING!" Stan just stood there in total shock, unable to move or speak. the Entire freshman class was laughing at him, it was nearly a riot until.......
"Shut up now you rodents" Screamed the Principal. It went dead silent instantly. not a ham breathed a single breath even, they didn't want to acquire his wrath one bit.
"Good, Now rule number 2, You only speak when spoken to"

::2 hours later, as the meeting is getting done::

:: Eyeing her friends up ahead Sandy Spots Bijou and Pashmina talking as she slowly caught up she overheard the conversation a little bit:::

"So that is how to give the perfect ham-cock hand job, Bijou" Pashmina was telling Bijou..."Wee, But I didn't ask you that, I asked you what your first class was today!" She Squeaked in annoyance.

::As Sandy was finally within a few inches of them she yelled "Like wow, that was like a real drag of a way to start the year, ya know?"

::Meanwhile on the other side of the school the boys were talking::

"Yo Ham Dudes wait up!" shouted Stan. "Yo Bro" Oxy and Hamtaro said (Authors comment: With all of the spots Oxnard has he got the nickname Oxy because he always needs Oxy Pads to clear up his Acne problem)
"How is everything goin'?"
"Hey Stan, Sorry 'bout your shades dude" Hamtaro said
"Yea tell me about me, Elder Ham is a total Rat for doing that"
"So where are you going now Oxy and Hamtaro?"
"Well I am going to my Hamster Psychology Class, its just around this corner so I got to get going, bye-q" Hamtaro mentioned as he walked to class
"What about you Oxy?"
"Umm.... Hehehe.... Well I umm... well if you follow me to the back of the gym, I'll show ya."
"Yea sure, I don't got class for another hour"

::As they arrive they sneak behind the ham-sized bleachers outside behind school:::
"So why are we back here anyways" Stan Asked puzzled.

::Oxy opens his sunflower seed, revealing a secret compartment. In there is a bag, full of green plant leaves::

"What the hell is that?! I didn't know your seed has a hidden compartment!"
::Oxnard proceeds to pull out some paper and puts some of the green leaves in the paper and proceeds to roll it up:::

"This my friend, is the best thing on earth, its genuine 100% Jamaican Grass" Oxy Replied with a giggle
"WHAT?!" Stan shouted
"SHHHHH! You don't want them to find us do ya?"
"What do you mean 'us' there is no us."
::Oxnard grabs a lighter and lights it up::
"Want some, its better then it looks" Oxy said as he exhaled
"Well dude, that would explain why you are always hungry and snacking on seeds all the time" Stan Said with a light chuckle thinking at the situation.
"Well, want some?"
"nAHH Dude, I heard that shit will shrink my Ham-Rod, and Don't want any disappointed Girl hams Ya know what I mean?" Stan said with a little nudge to Oxy.
"Well suit yourself" Oxy said as he lit up his second joint.
"Geez how many of those a day do you smoke?" Stan said in shock
"Umm... maybe 10-15.." Oxy replied , barely at that.
"Well dude that does explain why he has that seed with him always, and he always get upset when he loses it" Stan thought to himself..